Author's Note: Hello, all! I'm back with another family AU fanfic, this time with Shuuneki/Tsukikane from Tokyo Ghoul! My Ereri fanfic "Humanity's Greatest Bedtime Story" (under Attack on Titan) was such a success that I decided to try my hand at this kind of AU again. I guess I've found a niche of sorts. This fic will contain some similar ideas to HGBS, but I'm going to try my best to create a new, original story. It's a canon divergence AU in which the Tsukiyama Family was never exposed, because I recognize that Ishida has made a decision, but given that it's a heartbreaking and tragic decision, I've elected to ignore it. And, as an added bonus, there will be a coffee recipe at the end of every chapter! So I hope you enjoy, whether you're a new reader or a returning one.

How To Prep Coffee Beans

Chapter 1: The Perfect Cup of Basic Coffee

"I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one's very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?" -Voltaire, "Candide, or Optimism"

Ken lay still on the couch in :re's break room, staring at the couch's soft, brown cushions and listening to Touka talk in the hallway beyond a closed door. His eyelids were heavy, and bags hung beneath him. He vaguely wondered if Touka believed he had slept at all that day, or any day. Perhaps. Or perhaps not. She knew him better by now, even if she hadn't really interacted with him in years.

She was talking to Nishiki and Yomo. Ken didn't need to see or hear them to know. Who else would she be talking to? It wasn't like the manager was around. Or Hinami. Or Kaya and Enji. Or anyone really. Ken wanted to cry at the thought, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. There was no point.

He couldn't bring himself to reminisce on the happier times in the past either. Could they even be called happier times? Ken wasn't sure, as every "happy" label he could slap on a moment usually came with an asterisk. He and Hinami becoming close? That had come with Ryouko's death. Being able to read his favorite books while drinking a cup of hot coffee? The author had been a member of Aogiri and The One-Eyed Owl, the cause of so many problems in Tokyo. So that hadn't been so great. Finding peace at Anteiku? That had only cost him the low, low price of the worst date ever and becoming a psychotic serial killer's lab experiment. And that price had turned out to be not so low after all, because becoming a human/ghoul hybrid and being driven to madness through torture and cannibalism and having his memories erased and being forced to act as a quinque for the CCG's God of Death had been extra payments only mentioned in the fine print. Kanou would make a great used car salesman in another life.

But another life was the last thing Ken wanted to think about it. How many new lives had he started all before the age of twenty-five? He had lost count. And now, lying on a couch in :re's break room, he was realizing that he was going to have to start another one.

No.

No. No. No. Not again.

He couldn't do it again.

Touka opened the door and closed it behind her. Ken didn't hear any other footsteps come into the room.

"I know you're awake," Touka said.

Oh, so it had been the latter.

Ken didn't respond. Touka leaned against the door and looked at her fidgeting fingers. Her eyelids and frown were both heavy. "You're more than welcome to stay here," she finally said. "That's why this place exists, to give you a place to return to if needed."

Ken twitched at that.

"I know it isn't Anteiku, but we could make it look more like Anteiku if it made you happy."

"I don't want to be happy."

Touka looked up, surprised that Ken had actually responded.

"…Why not?"

Ken buried his face into the couch cushions.

"I won't kill you," Touka said. "Forget it, I don't care if that's what you want."

"So you don't actually want to make me happy."

Touka narrowed her eyes, and her frown straightened into a hard line. "Look," she said, the word acting as something of a scolding, "I don't want to argue with you, and I don't want to make things more difficult for you or anyone, but we need to talk about what we're going to do. I'm telling you that you can stay here if you want. That's :re's purpose. But, if you don't want to stay here, that's okay, too. We just need to figure out where you should go then. We're just trying to keep you safe."

"Well, maybe I don't want to be safe," Ken shot back, still not moving. "Maybe I'd much rather be dead than safe."

"So you're going to throw away all our hard work to get you back?"

"HA! Guilt tripping and emotional abuse! Knew that was coming!" Ken didn't get up from the couch, but he did smack his fist against one of the cushions, and his troubling laughter did make the couch shake. "That's always what's coming," he added. "If I don't do what you want me to do, if I don't act how you want me to act, suddenly I'm the bad guy. Suddenly I'm the one who's causing harm. What I want doesn't matter because it's all about everyone ELSE and what everyone ELSE wants."

Touka stood up straight. Her eyes threatened to water. "Funny," she said, her voice not sounding too amused, "I'm pretty sure you pulled that crap on me a while back."

Oh yeah. When they had met on the bridge before the Anteiku raid.

"You kept going on about how much you wanted to protect me and everyone at Anteiku and your human friend or whatever, and I wouldn't go along with it. Let's face it: you weren't interested in protecting us, you only wanted to protect yourself from being lonely, so you tried to guilt trip me into going along with your 'tragic hero' bullshit."

"And then you said that trash like me should stay out of Anteiku."

"You're doing it again!"

"I was planning on coming back anyway."

The heavy frown returned to Touka's face, and she leaned back against the door again. "So we were both abusive pricks. We're both fucked up, what a surprise." She paused to wipe her eyes, sniffed, and, after a moment of silence, said, "We all really missed you, you know. I'm not saying that to guilt you, I mean it. After the manager disappeared and after Anteiku was demolished, we were all left wandering around with no place to go and no one to turn to. Some of us got split up, some of us had nothing, and some of us had something but felt like we had nothing. It was horrible."

Ken shuffled on the couch, and his voice was quiet when he spoke. "It's not like me being there would have changed anything."

"But at least we all, including you, wouldn't have been alone."

Ken finally sat up and turned to Touka. His eyes were pink with fatigue, and his skin was deathly pale, like he had been sick for years. It was nearly as white as his hair. Touka wiped her eyes again, this time to brush two tear streaks away.

"So that's why we all want you to be safe."

Ken gazed at her and then let his eyes drop.

"…Can I stay here for a little while longer?"

The days passed with a sort of subtle excitement. :re's break room transformed into Ken's room, and it welcomed few visitors. Touka stopped by the most to bring Ken books and coffee. For the most part, the coffee tasted exactly like what the manager had always brewed at Anteiku, but Touka varied the blends and brews sometimes. She'd say things like "I bought a different brand and want you to try it first" and "I thought you'd like to try a different roast." Ken always drank everything she brought him, even if he didn't like it or preferred something else. Touka always asked him why he did that, but she never scolded him for it.

Every time, Ken shrugged. He honestly wasn't sure why he was indulging in something he didn't particularly care for, but he couldn't stop. He'd just ask for a cup of what he did like. Touka would sometimes roll her eyes before leaving to fulfill his request, and Ken would often see her do so, but he never took offense. He knew she didn't mean things that way.

"He likes being cared for," Nishiki said one day after Touka had returned from Ken's room.

She glanced at him with slightly narrowed eyes before putting Ken's cup in the sink and turning to the shelves full of coffee beans. "I know that."

"So, even if he doesn't like the coffee, he's gonna drink all of it. Because he likes that you're taking care of him."

"Are you telling me that I should stop?"

"Hell no. This is a good thing. Kaneki would never let anyone take care of him back in the day. Now he likes that someone is caring for him. This is huge."

Touka paused momentarily and then pulled a jar off the shelf. "Because the same thing happened to you?"

A small smile tugged at Nishiki's lips.

Other than Touka, Yomo visited Ken often, mostly to bring him food. Despite drinking quite a bit of coffee, Ken didn't eat much, claiming he had no appetite. Yomo didn't believe him, as a single plate with a few little splatters of blood sometimes wound up in the hallway.

One afternoon, Yomo knocked on Ken's door, a bag in his other hand. "Ken," he said, "it's me. Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Yomo opened the door and quickly closed it behind him for privacy. He found Ken sitting on the couch, a book in his hands. Ken watched his guest for a few moments, but his gaze slowly shifted towards his book as Yomo set the bag on the nearby table between the couch and another chair. When Yomo looked up, Ken was staring at his book, but his eyes weren't moving across the page.

"Ken."

Ken remained still.

Yomo sat down in the chair across from the couch, keeping his firm gaze on Ken. The latter didn't react.

"You aren't eating as much as you should be. You still don't look good."

Ken finally looked up. "When was the last time I looked good?"

Yomo pushed the bag forward and then sat back in the chair. "Eat," he said. "You can't live on coffee alone, you know that."

Ken opened his mouth, but no words came out. He looked back at his book.

A sigh escaped past Yomo's lips, and he reached for the bag again. Ken twitched when he saw the package inside, and his eyes widened slightly when Yomo unwrapped it. Ken gasped as Yomo ripped the large cut of meat in half, blood splattering against the table, and held one of the pieces out for Ken. When Ken didn't take it, he ripped it up again, this time into four pieces.

"You have to eat your half by the end of the day," Yomo said as he flattened the bag and set the meat chunks down on it. "I don't care how you eat it, all at once or a little at a time, but you have to eat it." He held up the large piece still in his hand. "I'll eat with you."

Ken hesitated but eventually put his book down, not bothering to mark the page. He leaned forward, reached out, and brought one of the pieces to his lips. It was a deep red, and he could see juicy fat marbled throughout the lean muscle. Little rivers of blood trickled down his hand. He glanced at Yomo, who was waiting for him to make a move, and then looked back at the meat, still hesitating despite the saliva gathering in his mouth. A drop of it threatened to break past the corner of his lips.

"Ken."

Ken looked up.

"We'll do it together."

Ken stalled for a few more seconds and then nodded.

"On three," Yomo said, ripping a piece off his half and holding it to his lips. "One…two…"

Ken's eye flashed red first.

The wall clock's ticking seemed slower than usual. Ken watched the second hand make its way around the face, counting every little tick until he ended at sixty. His eyes then shifted to the stack of books on the table, the only other thing in his line of vision from where his face was squished into the couch cushions. His gaze lingered there until it travelled back to the clock, where the second hand was starting at zero again.

A knock on the door broke him out of his trance. "Yes?"

Touka opened the door and walked inside with a book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. "Here," she said, setting both down on the table. "Do you need anything else?"

Ken sat up and ran a hand through his mussed hair, shaking his hand after a long pause.

Touka frowned. "I'm sorry you can't go out. It's not safe yet. There are Doves everywhere, and they're still looking for you. I know that the break room isn't all that exciting, but…"

"No, it's okay, thank you, Touka." Ken looked up at the young woman and smiled. "It's funny. There was a time when the only thing in the world I wanted was a quiet, private place where I could read all day long. Now that I have that, all I want is to go outside. I should be more careful about what I wish for, right?"

"It's not like you chose this."

"I suppose. But part of me still feels bad."

"You're done with all the books I brought you yesterday."

Ken's sheepish smile widened. "Sorry. I don't have much else to do."

"No, I understand. I'll see about bringing you more."

"Thank you."

Touka smiled and gathered the finished books in her arms. "Alright, I'll try to get more tomorrow. In the meantime, maybe you wouldn't mind another guest?"

"What?"

Touka stepped out of the way, and Ken's eyes widened. Tears welled up in their corners. Ken tried to speak, but he couldn't make the words come out. What did come out was a cross between a squeak and a raspy breath followed by a choked sob. If time had been moving slowly before, it stopped in that exact moment.

"…Hinami."

Hinami rushed forward and jumped into Ken's arms, her own arms wrapped around his shoulders and her fingers making their way into his hair. Ken squeezed her around her torso, bringing her impossibly close, and he buried his face into her shoulder. The tears started falling.

"Hinami, oh god, Hinami," Ken gasped out, his fingers lightly digging into her back. "Oh my god, I thought they had killed you. I thought they had killed you a long time ago when I was—"

"No, no, I'm fine," Hinami whispered back, her own tears dripping down her cheeks. "I got out. Ayato got me out."

Ken's eyes shot wide open. He gripped Hinami by the shoulders and pushed her back so he could stare at her, eyes still watery and now pink. He wiped one of his eyes, panting lightly, and said, "Ayato? Kirishima Ayato? Of Aogiri?" He looked up past Hinami. "Your brother, Touka?"

Touka nodded. "He ignored Aogiri's orders and saved her."

"Kaneki, please understand," Hinami said, gently stroking Ken's face so he would look back at her, "Ayato isn't a bad person. He's grown and changed since the first time you saw him. Please don't think he hurt me; he was the only reason I wasn't hurt while I was in Aogiri. He saved me! Twice! Please?"

"Hinami…"

"Please?"

Ken wiped his eyes again and brought Hinami back into his embrace. "Alright, I believe you," he said as he rubbed her back. "Where is he now?"

"Downstairs," Touka interrupted as she headed for the hallway, "about to get the scolding of his life." She left the room and shut the door behind her. Sure enough, mere seconds later, Ken and Hinami heard her harsh shrieks echoing throughout the building, followed by two sets of footsteps rushing out the back door. Nishiki and Yomo, no doubt.

Ken swallowed. "I really hope there are no Doves nearby."

Hinami giggled and tightened her grip on Ken. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he gently held her against his chest, not unlike how one would hold a small child. They listened to Touka scream for a few more minutes before her voice broke down into sobs, and they both smiled. Eventually, a peaceful quiet enveloped them.

"Hinami."

"Hmm?"

"How were you able to come here? Isn't the CCG after you, too, now?"

Hinami shifted slightly. "They are but I'm not worried, not now anyway. Ayato snuck me over here in a disguise. Touka told me I could come up and see you since you're also hiding from them. It's safe here."

"Safe, yes," Ken hummed. "Also boring."

"You haven't left at all?"

"I can't, not while the Doves are desperately looking for ex-Investigator Sasaki Haise."

Hinami's smile fell and she moved so she was nearly sitting in Ken's lap. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and let a new batch of tears fall.

"I'm so glad you're not him anymore," she whispered. "So glad…"

Ken wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Me, too."

Pause.

"Hinami?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know…where Banjou is?"

Hinami buried her face in Ken's chest, small whimpers escaping her throat. Ken's grip on her waist tightened, and his head dropped. Before long, his whimpers joined hers.

Downstairs, Ayato sat at :re's bar hunched over a cup of steaming coffee. "Hinami can't stay here," he said as he gripped the cup, warming his hands. "Bringing her here in the first place was a risk. I won't take it again."

Touka refused to make eye contact with her brother, wiping her eyes as she washed a coffee pot in the nearby sink. "And she's safe with you?"

"I have a place. Aogiri never knew about it, so I'll bet that any remaining followers won't be able to find it. Besides, without leadership, those grunts will never organize. And it's far away from where the Doves have been patrolling. She'll be safe there."

Touka snorted. "Forgive me but it's hard to believe you."

"The fact that Hinami isn't dead isn't enough for you?"

Pause. Ayato took a sip of his coffee.

"Sis…Kaneki isn't safe here either. Doves could walk in at any time."

Touka picked up a towel, dried the coffee pot, and put it away, still refusing to look at her brother. "I know that," she muttered. "I know, okay? Don't remind me."

"But if you want to keep him safe then I have to!"

"What am I supposed to do?!" Touka finally turned and stared at her brother, her eyes pink and puffy with tears. She threw the towel to the floor and rubbed her eyes with her palms. "What am I supposed to do, Ayato, tell me if you know! Or don't. I don't need you reminding me that I'm failing in doing the one thing I wanted to do for him. I wanted to create a place for him to return to, and I couldn't even do that. Even if he was safe here, staying in that tiny break room is no way to live. It doesn't matter how much food Yomo brings him. It doesn't matter how many books I bring him. It doesn't matter if Nishiki, Hinami, or anyone else visits him. Nothing…matters." Her knees started to shake, and she slumped against the bar, her hands still covering her eyes.

Ayato looked back down at his coffee and took a long sip. "I didn't say I had all the answers."

Suddenly, :re's front door opened.

Touka and Ayato looked up, and Touka sniffed as another tear ran down her cheek.

"It's okay," she gasped out after a short pause, "I may have just figured out one."

Ken stared out the break room's only window at the pretty lights dotting the skyscrapers against the night's dark sky. Some of them blinked and flickered; others eventually disappeared. Ken briefly glanced at the break room's ceiling light before looking back at the surrounding skyscrapers'. :re was so small in comparison to those buildings. Only two levels high, a rarity in Tokyo, the skyscrapers towered over it, dwarfed it. Realizing this made Ken's breath hitch.

A knock broke Ken out of his thoughts. "Ken," Yomo said, opening the door without permission, "the car's here."

Ken looked back at the skyscrapers one more time.

"Come on, we can't waste any time. The longer the car is there, the more suspicious it is."

"I know, I'm sorry," Ken said. He turned and joined Yomo, who turned the light off and closed the door behind them. They headed down the stairs and hallway towards the cafe's main room.

":re will always be here for you," Yomo said suddenly, catching Ken off guard. It was unlike him to say such compassionate things so easily.

Ken nodded. "I know, thank you. I've just spent the last few weeks staring out that window, and…"

"There will be many more windows where you're going," Yomo said, "and I hope that they can eventually open." He held :re's main door open so that Ken could pass through. Outside, Touka, Nishiki, Ayato, and Hinami were waiting next to a sleek, black car. The passenger door was open.

Ken hugged Touka and Hinami one last time, then looked at Nishiki. The latter nodded subtly before turning his head to focus his attention on :re's door. Ken frowned and looked at Ayato, but his expression was unreadable. Ayato didn't seem to care.

"Kaneki."

Ken looked at Shuu, who motioned for him to enter the car.

"Shall we go home?"

The Perfect Cup of Basic Coffee

This recipe uses a manual dripper, but you can also use a french press. Of course, if you have a Keurig or any other coffee machine, you can use that, but most coffee shops (like Anteiku and :re) use manual drippers. Cone-shaped drippers are okay, but flat-based ones are better since the water is able to saturate the coffee grounds more evenly. Remember to grind the coffee beans of your choice within half an hour of brewing for maximum freshness and taste. Light roasts (such as Cinnamon) tend to have grassy flavors, sharp acidity, and little to no sweetness. The darker your roast, the more the flavor of the roast takes over (sometimes resulting in burnt undertones, especially with the really dark roasts like French and Italian), and the less you taste the origin flavor. Additionally, the darker your roast, the less acidity there is. City Roast is a good option for specialty coffee, as it's a medium roast with a balance of origin and roast flavors.

For 16 ounces of coffee (about the equivalent of two big cups), use five tablespoons (about 28 grams) of coffee and 16 ounces of water.

1. As your kettle heats, place a dripper lined with a paper filter on a mug or a carafe. Rinse the filter with hot water to get rid of paper dust and to preheat the cone.

2. Place ground coffee in the dampened filter.

3. After the water boils, wait 10 seconds for it to settle. Slowly pour just enough hot water (in a circular motion) to saturate all the grounds.

4. Pause 30 seconds to let the coffee "bloom." It will bubble and soften.

5. Pour again, raising the water level to an inch above the grounds. Wait a few moments until

the water trickles through the dripper. Repeat this process of "pulse pouring," which helps prevent overflow, until you have your desired amount of brewed coffee.

It is recommended that you drink the coffee without any additions first, then add sugar, milk, cream or any other desired addition to taste.

Recipe courtesy of Real Simple, provided by 2012 US Barista Champion Katie Carguilo.