Chapter 10: The Grand Finale!

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Scott Lang almost cursed when he found himself facing the pretty redhead, a very tall black man in highly recognizable armor. Oh, lord, that was Iron Patriot or War Machine... better think of him as Colonel Rhodes until he found out which the man preferred.

Speaking of recognizable, another black man stepped forward.

"Falcon," Scott said, subtly trying to get ready to shrink the Agent Carter set and make a break for it. (He'd hate to lose the other items, but the Agent Carter set was the important prize.) "Hi, long time, no see."

"Don't even think of running, Mr. Lang," Sam "Falcon" Wilson warned.

Well, hell.

"Actually, I was thinking of flying," Scott said. Shit, shit, shit, Scott thought. Fighting one Avenger when the fate of the world was at stake was one thing. Fighting three of them would be suicidal. Especially since the pretty redhead must be the Black Widow.

"So, how can I help the Avengers today?" he asked, trying to sound casual and self-assured.

"We wanted to know who you're working for," Col. James Rhodes said.

"Um, would you believe that the ants recruited me?" Scott said. "They needed a front man."

"Are you saying you don't know who Dr. Henry Pym is?" Falcon asked.

"No," Scott said blandly. "I can't say that the name is familiar."

"Who do you think you're fooling?" Falcon demanded. "Pym made your ant suit!"

The next thing Scott knew, there were flying ants everywhere. They must have thought that he was under physical attack. However, Scott almost had a heart attack, thinking that the Avengers were about to fry his friends.

Yes, the ants were his friends. Deal with it.

"Stop! Stop!" Scott said. "Don't smash them, they're only trying to help me!"

Widow froze in place. "Don't move!" she said. "No ant smashing!"

The two men froze in place and gave Widow incredulous looks.

"Call them off," Widow warned.

Scott was already putting the costume together. He used a toothpick to manipulate the controls so the costume grew to full size. He didn't bother with the suit. He just grabbed the helmet and slammed it on. "Back off! Back off!" he warned.

The flying ants flew away from the Avengers, but they didn't go far.

"Am I imaging things or did the tarmac just come to life?" War Machine asked.

"No, no, no!" Scott told his ground troops. "Back off!"

Obediently, the ants moved farther from the Avengers. Then they started circling, giving the impression of a living carpet.

"I feel like I'm in a John Wayne movie," complained Falcon. "You know, where the pioneers are being circled by prairie piranhas?"

"I'm pretty sure that John Wayne didn't work with piranhas," said War Machine. He gave Scott a puzzled look. "Why are you so worried about these ants?" he asked.

Scott shrugged. "They're my friends," he said. "No, I'm not crazy, but they work with me. They protect me and I have a responsibility not to get them killed for no reason."

The Avengers exchanged looks.

"Why did you stop us from smashing the ants?" War Machine asked Black Widow.

"I was just remembering how Loki said that humans were like ants to him," Widow said. "I don't want to be as indifferent to killing as he was."

"Thank you," Scott said. He sighed and closed his eyes so he could focus on sending the ants away.

When he opened them again, he couldn't see any ants. However, he knew they were lurking. They were all protective of him, especially Donner. He sighed again and held out his hand. "Fine, you got me," he groused. "I'll come along quietly, but my daughter had better get her gift!"

"Or what?" Falcon challenged, apparently out of curiosity.

Scott shot him a sideways look. "Or word gets leaked that an Avenger got beat by bugs," he said.

Nobody laughed, but two of the three Avengers were clearly suppressing smiles. Oddly enough, one of those two was Sam Wilson, because nobody reads the Black Widow if she doesn't want to be read!

"Put your hands down," Natasha said. "We aren't here to arrest you."

Scott lowered his hands and eyed them incredulously. "So, what do you want?" he asked, thinking that there was no way they'd invite him to join the Avengers.

"We want you to consider trying out for the Avengers," Wilson said. "You can mail in an application..." He pulled a sheet of paper and handed it to Scott. It was a slightly crumpled, but mostly filled out, generic job application.

Scott took it, feeling like he'd just fallen off a flying ant. "Um..."

"No need to thank us," War Machine said. "Just mail it here," he handed Scott a card with the address of Stark's HR department. "We've let them know to keep an eye out for applications for Avengers."

"Why not have me mail this to you directly?" Scott asked.

"Because they don't want anybody to know that we had anything to do with this," the Black Widow was amused.

"So, are you going to try to join?" Falcon asked.

"Well, hell, yes," Scott said eagerly. "I mean, jeez, I feel like Christmas came early!"

"Nope," Falcon said, a hint of humor crossing his face. "We deliberately chose the day after Thanksgiving."

A look of horror crossed War Machine's face. "Don't say it, Wilson!" he warned.

The Black Widow rolled her eyes as Falcon said. "This is what I call Black Friday!"

"He said it," War Machine said, shaking his head.

"And on that note, I think I'd better fly," Scott said. He wasn't sure why the Avengers weren't going to arrest him or pound him and he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Therefore, he hit his packages with Pym particles and instructed his ants to grab one each and fly off with them.

He heard Widow exclaim as he flew out of sight, "Do you have any idea how much women would pay to be able to lose weight that fast?"

Epilogue:

Natasha didn't look at them, but she could tell the two men had exchanged a smirk. Instead of getting angry, she said, far too casually, "Do you know why the day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday? I mean, the real reason?"

She sat down and took off her skates.

Sam and Rhodey exchanged worried looks.

"It's because this is the beginning of the Christmas shopping season," Sam said cautiously. "People start spending big and that puts all the retail stores back in the black."

"Do you know what the day after Christmas is called?" Natasha asked idly as she put her regular shoes back on.

"Boxing day," Rhodey said. "Because it's when people box up the gifts they didn't like so they can return them to the store."

"Do you know when boxing day is for me?" Natasha asked.

"Um, no?" Sam asked, getting ready to fly.

"Every day," Natasha said with an evil grin. "Now, back to headquarters or Black Friday becomes Black and Blue Friday."

"Ma'm! Yes, ma'm!" the two military men chorused just before they jetted off.

"Next time don't smirk when a lady mentions her weight," Natasha called after them. She started back for her motorcycle, then hesitated. This might be a good time to buy some presents for her niece and nephews. She looked in the direction the other two had gone and debated how long to wait before she called to let them know she had been delayed. She didn't want them to sweat for too long. Santa was watching, after all.

Author's Notes:

A/N: All toys mentioned, except the Agent Carter vs. Madam Hydra set are real. Too bad, because I would have loved to get one!

A/N 2: None of the characters belong to me except Juliana.

A/N 3: Happy Holidays!