Demon Monkey

Disclaimer – I do not own Fairy Tail

Summary: Never take Happy and Gray to the zoo.

Demon Monkey (Rated T)

"I can't believe we're actually doing this," Natsu groaned as he, Gray, and Happy went to Lucy's apartment. "Lucy's gonna kill me."

"Why would she kill you? It was my idea," replied Happy.

"Because she'll do this whole thing where I'm supposed to be the responsible one or some shit like that," the dragon slayer grumbled, eyeing the bulge underneath Gray's jacket warily. He jumped when the front door closed behind them.

"Calm down, Natsu! Lucy's not home yet," Gray hissed, patting the bulge that now started moving.

"I don't think I can go through with this," Natsu started, panicking as he retreated back to the front door.

Happy set a glare on his face that froze the dragon slayer. "We're in this together, natsu. There's no backing out now."

"Together?" the dragon slayer shrieked. "You and Gray stole a monkey from the zoo!"

"It's not just a monkey," Happy huffed. "It's a spider monkey. And I didn't steal him; I liberated him."

Natsu resisted the urge to strangle the Exceed. When Lucy found out about the monkey…they'd all be dead. Even the monkey.

Happy made for the couch, still irked by Natsu's behavior. As Gray sat down next to him, the ice mage patted the monkey underneath his jacket. He couldn't help it. When he'd gone to the zoo with Natsu and Happy today, he'd seen the monkey and had instantly fallen in love with the little guy. And by the time the dragon slayer had figured out he and Happy had freed the monkey, they'd already left the zoo.

"Look," Natsu started as he sat down next to Gray and Happy on the couch, "I know you guys like this…thing and all, but think about what Lucy will say, especially since we brought it to her place. And we don't even have the stuff to take care of a monkey. Plus, you stole the monkey!"

Gray clenched his hands at that particular accusation, but before he could reply, the monkey started moving…wildly. Apparently, he'd touched it a bit too hard. Without having the time to react, the monkey clawed its way out of his jacket and promptly launched itself at Natsu's head.

"Demon monkey!" the dragon slayer screeched as the monkey somehow tangled itself in his hair.

"Don't move," Happy said hurriedly as he watched the monkey calm down somewhat.

Natsu froze, desperately hoping that this was all some nightmare and that he actually wasn't sitting on a couch in Lucy's apartment with a feral monkey latched onto his hair.

"Okay," the Exceed said soothingly. "I think it's calm now."

Suddenly, the monkey slapped the sides of Natsu's face, giving a shrill battle cry that echoed throughout the apartment before leaping off of the dragon slayer's head and charging into the next room.

"Come on!" Natsu said as he raced after the little beast. There was no way in hell he'd be going down for this alone.

They had finally cornered the damn monkey. Sure, it had taken all three of them being armed with household objects in order to contain the damn thing, but it was well worth it.

Too bad it just had to be in near Lucy's desk. The monkey was currently there…and it was growling at them.

Natsu beckoned for Happy, who brandishing a broom, to step closer while Gray slowly approached the creature with an empty laundry basket. Just a little bit closer and—

"What the hell are you doing?" Lucy announced as she stepped into the room.

Happy spun around and flung himself at the door, shutting it with a resounding bang as he glanced up at Lucy. But before he could speak, the monkey was shrieking again.

"What the hell is that thing?" Lucy roared.

"DEMON MONKEY!" Natsu screamed as the monkey launched itself at his head again.

"Someone hit it with the broom!" cried Lucy.

"No! Don't hurt it!" said Happy.

Whap!

"That's me, you idiot! Hit the monkey! The monkey!" shouted Gray.

"Lucy! Look out!" cried Happy.

"IT'S IN MY SHIRT! IT'S IN MY SHIRT! GET IT! GET IT!" Lucy wailed.

Whap! Whap!

"It's back on the desk!" said Natsu.

"Oh, shit!" yelled Gray.

"It's got a stapler! It's got a stapler!" Natsu cried.

"Get out of the way!" shouted Lucy.

"It's stapling me! It's stapling me!" screamed Natsu.

"Run!"

"DIE DEMON MONKEY SPAWN! DIE!"

"What the hell is throwing a pillow at it gonna do?" started Gray.

"IT'S GOT THE FUCKING LETTER OPENER!"

"AAH!" they all screamed.

Lucy leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. After nearly being stabbed by a letter opener—who knew they were that lethal—Gray had finally trapped the damn monkey underneath the laundry basket, where he promptly sat on top of it so that the fucking creature wouldn't escape. And after calling contacting the zoo, the celestial mage wanted nothing more than to just curl up into a little ball.

"Now I know why we shouldn't have any pets," Natsu mumbled, plopping himself on the floor between Lucy and Happy.

"You three are never going anywhere alone ever again," Lucy grumbled. "Especially to the zoo."

End