For Susan.

The Big C

Chapter One.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this but…you have cancer."

Chloe blinked once, twice, three times before the doctor's words actually registered. When they did, she felt like she had been punched in the gut. Her jaw dropped slightly and a gasp escaped. She tightened her grip on the arm rests of the chair she was sitting in.

It was the last thing she had expected. Her doctor had suggested further testing but hadn't seemed too concerned so Chloe herself had refused to worry, or even tell anyone she was scheduling follow up appointments. She was barely 30. Cancer.

"But…I don't understand!" Chloe exclaimed, the doctor nodding patiently. "Dr. Perkins didn't seem worried at all. And even you when I came in said it was probably nothing to worry about! And now you're telling me I have cancer?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Beale-"

"Posen-Beale." Chloe corrected almost numbly.

Dr. Ross once again nodded, a sympathetic smile firmly in place. "Mrs. Posen-Beale, given your age and health, we had every reason to believe this would be a false alarm and that if in fact there was a tumor that it would be benign. Unfortunately, the biopsy revealed otherwise."

Chloe suddenly found herself blinking back tears. She quickly glanced around Dr. Ross's office, paying no attention to the impressive diplomas and certificates framed and on display. In fact, the beautiful mahogany desk she was seated at across from the doctor also barely registered in her mind. She breathed in deeply, hoping to gain control of her emotions.

"How-how far advanced is it?" She asked softly, her gaze dropping back to her hands now clasped tightly in her lap. "Am I going to die?"

The middle aged man leaned forward where he was sitting on the other side of the desk and sighed. "It's impossible to say at this point just how progressed the cancer is. We'll know more after we operate. Even if you choose a less aggressive approach, we'll have to check lymph nodes to see if the cancer has metastasized. But Mrs. Posen-Beale, we've made some great advancements in this area and with the right treatment, there's no reason to believe you won't be able to make a full recovery."

"Just like there was no reason to believe I had anything to worry about?"

"I realize this is a lot to absorb." The man replied patiently. "And I promise you, we are going to do everything we can to get you back to full health as soon as possible."

"Ok." The redhead replied. "So what are my options? What do I do now?"

Dr. Ross nodded, relieved the conversation had taken a more practical turn. "Well, I have a lot of information to give you. And I want you to take the weekend to read through it and consider all of the options available. Then, Monday morning we'll meet again and we'll discuss them in depth. But you should take this time to talk to your significant other. A solid support group is crucial."

Chloe blinked and eyed the stack of pamphlets and paperwork Dr. Ross had pulled from his desk. "So that's it then? Go home and read up on it?"

Dr. Ross sighed. "Mrs. Posen-Beale, Chloe, we can take as much time as you need to go through your options right now if you'd like. But it really is beneficial to talk and think it over with your partner. Bring her in with you on Monday and we'll discuss all of your options for as long as you need."

"Ok." She responded dully.

Chloe gathered the paperwork as well as her things and Dr. Ross escorted her to the office lobby where she scheduled an appointment for Monday morning. She vaguely remembered shaking the doctor's hand before she headed out to her car.

The California sun was shining brightly but the redhead felt a chill. As she crossed the parking lot, Chloe suddenly felt her control slipping. She rushed the remaining few feet and scrambled into the driver seat of her car. She clapped a hand over her mouth as the tears finally began to leak from her eyes.

Chloe wasn't certain how long she sat in the parking lot crying. Her phone chirping from her purse finally brought her attention back to the present. She hastily wiped at her cheeks and reached for her bag. She fished the phone out and saw Aubrey's face smiling back at her on the caller ID. She took a deep breath, hoping her voice wouldn't betray her.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe." Aubrey replied on the other end of the line. "I'm so sorry but my meeting ran late again. I know I said I'd be home early tonight but there's no way I'm getting out of here before nine at the earliest. I really hate to ask but can you pick up the dry cleaning? I just can't get away to get over there before they close."

Chloe closed her eyes and swallowed thickly at her wife's urgent tone. Aubrey was working late again. The blonde had always been driven and ambitious, but in the years after they had gotten married, it seemed she was staying late at the office more often than not. Early in the marriage, Chloe would bring it up and Aubrey would promise to cut back her hours but within a few months she would be back to working long hours and the redhead had eventually given up. She had gotten used to seeing very little of her wife. They had both grown complacent.

"Chloe, are you there?"

The blonde's sharp tone once again snapped Chloe from her reverie. "Yeah…sorry. Sure thing, I got it."

"Oh my god, you're the best!" Aubrey replied in relief. "I'm really sorry babe, I'll make it up to you I swear! If I'm not home by ten don't feel like you have to wait up for me."

"Ok." Chloe said softly.

"Thanks so much, seriously, you're the best! Ok babe, I gotta go. Love you!"

"Love you too." The redhead replied blandly after the line had already disconnected.

Chloe blinked away fresh tears and released a shaky breath. She clenched her jaw and finally put her luxury SUV into gear to head to the dry cleaners for her wife.

She loved Aubrey. And she knew Aubrey loved her. She had absolutely no doubt about either of those facts. The blonde had worked hard to climb her way up the corporate ladder and was currently the Assistant Director of Marketing and Advertisement for a prestigious company in San Diego. But Chloe had to admit she missed the days when the couple could spontaneously take a road trip up to LA to visit with Beca and Jesse or just took an evening to have a campfire on the beach. They had lost their connection.

Aubrey had worked very hard to be able to provide the very best for Chloe and the redhead knew it. And she appreciated it. But right now, all she wanted to do was curl up with her wife and have Aubrey tell her everything would turn out alright.

When Chloe arrived home later that evening, she hung Aubrey's dry cleaning in the closet and quickly threw together a casserole for the blonde to eat whenever she managed to drag in from work.

Before she wearily climbed the steps to their bedroom, Chloe left a note for her wife letting her know her dinner was in the oven. The redhead then collapsed into bed, willing sleep to claim her.

xxxx

Aubrey quietly slipped into the lavish house she and Chloe shared. The porch light had been left on for her as well as a light in the kitchen, but other than that the house was dark.

The blonde kicked off her heels, too tired to move them from the front entryway and slung her suit jacket over the banister. She padded barefoot into the kitchen where she saw a note left by the sink with her name on it.

Crashed early tonight. Your dinner is in the oven, just heat it up. Love you.

Aubrey smiled as she dropped the note and peeked into the oven. Her favorite casserole. She quickly heated up a dish and placed the rest in the refrigerator.

Once she finished eating, the blonde quietly slipped up the stairs and into their bedroom. The soft moonlight was streaming into the bedroom and Aubrey let her gaze settle on Chloe.

She frowned slightly at the sight of her wife. Chloe's brow was furrowed in her sleep and she was curled tightly onto her side. The redhead was usually sprawled out in all directions and Aubrey had long since learned to readjust the slightly shorter woman to make her own space in the bed.

A pang of guilt immediately struck Aubrey as she stood gazing at Chloe. Was something bothering her wife? And when had they drifted so far apart that Aubrey wasn't even aware if something was wrong? The blonde made a mental note to talk to Chloe in the morning.

Just as she finished preparing for bed, Aubrey's phone chimed, signaling an email. She sighed as she read it, realizing she would have to go in to the office in the morning. The blonde groaned as she set her alarm and then slipped into the bed, careful not to jostle her wife. Aubrey cast one final glance toward Chloe before curling onto her own side, the two women back to back on separate ends of their plush, king sized bed.