Fox's Lost Dog

Disclaimer: What is there to say? I don't own anything. Anything, y'hear!? But Mr. Flufferkins's name, a ball of lint, and me! No sue! No sue! Please??? [ begs ]

This story is completely and utterly SCREWED UP. Psycho Fox, mostly does it, but...

Heh. If you wanna flame, go ahead. I'll chuck em at Roy.

...I have no clue where I got this idea...fills me with pity, it does. Well, almost. o_0

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The sun rose on another "normal" day in Tendo Land, on all the bright Disneyland-ish houses of the smashers. Yes, the smashers now have houses that are bright blue, yellow, and pink. With wooden flowers in the front. Dear lord, Master Hand is sadistic.

Our story starts in one of these houses, a hideous pink one, to be exact. The resident? Fox McCloud, the Lylat system's saviour...if you ignore Falco, Slippy, and Peppy. Not like those last two actually DID anything, but then...hell, I won't rant. Now...

Fox got up at approximately 11:00 AM, grinning insanely, which is not normal thing for a four foot ten fox to be doing. Skipping through his sickeningly cheerful house, Fox stopped at his kitchen. Reaching up, he grabbed out of a cabinet something called "Pigma's Perfect Puppy Chow." Fox upended the container, giving it a few hits with his gun when the grayish-greenish glob of dog food wouldn't go into a bowl. Skipping to his backyard, which was covered in bright wooden flowers, Fox grinned again while standing on his porch.

"Mr. Olly Wolly Cuddly-Wuddly Fuzzy Fluffy Flufferkins! It's time for your breakfast!!"

Fox waited for about three hours before he finally realized his dog wouldn't come. Smart dog.

Looking around his backyard, calling out his dog's name, Fox walked back and forth in front of the little gate about twenty times before he realized there was a hole underneath it, obviously because the poor dog had tried to escape. And that the gate was broken down by what seemed to be a hysterical, wolfish animal with a wooden flower.

"Nooo! Mr. Flufferkins!!!"

Fox vaulted his gate, running around screaming hysterically on the street.

Everyone ignored him, thinking he'd just hit his head too hard again, but after a while Zelda mistakenly went over to Fox, who was about to have a heart attack from all the running. Zelda peered at him dashing around for a bit.

"Fox, what are you doing?"

Fox grabbed Zelda by her shoulders and shook her back and forth.

"You have to help! SOMEONE KIDNAPPED MR. OLLY WOLLY CUDDLY-WUDDLY FUZZY FLUFFY FLUFFERKINS!!!"

"Who?"

Fox stared at her like she was an idiot. "My dog, of course!"

"...You have a dog!?"

"Yup, he's about yea high, gray, missing one eye so he has an eye patch, and he can talk! And he sounds like StarWolf! Isn't that cool!?"

Zelda just sorta...stared at Fox, who was grinning at her madly. She shook her head. Things were always weird. You couldn't help it, most of the time.

"Anyways, Zelda, could you help me find Mr. Flufferkins PLEASEEEEE???"

"I suppose."

"Yay!"

Fox hugged Zelda, which she didn't want him to do; who would want to be hugged by an insane anthropomorphic hysterical fox? Besides a fangirl, but that's different!

"Fox...get off of me."

"Sorry! Anyway, let's go find some other people to help me search for Mr. Flufferkins!!"

Grabbing Zelda by the wrist, he ran about three steps and knocked on the door of a yellow house. A sleepy-looking(even this late) Falco opened the door, saw it was Fox, and slammed the door shut. Fox knocked on the door again, and Falco opened it a second time. He was about to slam it again, when Fox dragged Zelda into Falco's house with him.

"Heya Falco!!"

"Hello...Fox...."

"Can you help me look for Mr. Flufferkins!?"

"Um ...non! J'ai des trucs á faire!"

Falco hurriedly shoved Fox and Zelda out, slammed the door, and was about to go back to bed when Fox knocked again. Sighing, Falco opened the door.

"...Yes...?"

"What'd you say?? Was it a yes??"

"No!"

"Aw, but..." Fox pouted, and looked like he was about to cry.

"Oh god no!"

"Puh-lease!?" Fox used the giant, chibi-version "sad-eyes" on his best friend. Falco covered his eyes with a tiny whimper.

"Fine, I'll help you look for your stupid...dog...?" The hell? thought Falco. I don't think I wanna know...

"Yay!"

Fox hugged Falco, who just sorta....stared. Too. Holy shit! Falco tried edging away out of Fox's hug, but couldn't move. So of course, Falco started turning blue from the lack of oxygen...or at least, bluer than before.

"Fox..."

"Let's go!"

Grabbing Falco and Zelda both by the wrists, he led them out into the street. Fox stood there for a while. A LONG while. Zelda and Falco both eventually moved to the sidewalk and fell asleep, as Fox continued standing. Poor Foxy forgot what he was doing.

After a few more hours of standing, Fox suddenly grinned and screamed.

"Let's go look for Mr. Flufferkins now!"

Fox happily skipped down the street fifty feet, then turned around, waving his arms like an idiot.

"Come on guys!!!"

Falco and Zelda looked at each other. Falco sighed and looked over to Fox, who was still waving his arms. The Avian wished he had his Arwing, to run Mr. McCloud over. Roadkill!

"Remind me why we agreed to this..."

Zelda frowned at Falco, putting her fists on her hips. "Aren't you going to help your best friend!?"

"Times like this, I'd say I have no best friend, instead of Fox."

"How dare you say that! About your own commander!"

"Well, then, maybe I quit team StarFox! I wasn't even in Adventures' all that much! NINTENDO CHEATED ME! I have more fangirls for a reason, y'know!" Falco sniffed quite pathetically, giving Zelda the sad eyes' look.

"Falco Lombardi! It is TIME to GO!" Seizing him by his spiky head feathers, Zelda half marched, half-dragged the poor Avian over to his senile commander. Fox grinned again and pranced down the road again, dragging Zelda, who was dragging Falco, who was digging his "hands" into the asphalt, trying to free himself from this unnecessary evil. Oy vey. It was gonna be a long day.

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Well, it WAS. Then again, tramping around following a fuzzy that has gone completely nuts and looking for his "pet dog" DOES make for a boring afternoon.

...

Pray to God that poor dog isn't found.

Night fell rather quickly, though it wasn't so surprising, as Fox HAD stood in the middle of the street for about three hours. Falco looked at his watch, then up at the sky and pouted.

"Maaaan! Adult swim is onnnn! Fo-o-ox! Can't we call it quiiiits?"

Fox blinked. "But Mr. Flufferkins is GONE!" Cue chibi-version sad-eyes. Falco gave Fox the look right back.

"Adult Swim!"

"Mr. Flufferkins!"

"ADULT SWIM!!"

"Mr. FLUFFERKINS!"

"How about both of you SHUT THE HELL UP?" screamed Link from his nearby window. The anthros immediately obeyed, though glared at each other.

"I still say we go home and watch Adult Swim," Falco muttered rebelliously.

"MR. FLUFFERKINS!!" shrieked Fox. "WE MUST FIND HIM NOW!!!!" Fox continued to wail and cry. Falco started screaming about how Adult Swim was soooooooo much better and that Fox was just being immature. Yeah, HE was one to talk.

Then silence settled in as a bomb exploded right in the middle of the two friends.

Zelda slapped her forehead with a sigh, giving the two charred and blackened fuzzies a Look. Not just a look, but a Look. You know the kind. Your mom used to--or still does--give it to you all the time. The princess grabbed Fox by the ear, Falco by his head feathers again, and dragged them off to her house for the night just to shut them both up about Adult Swim and Mr. Flufferkins.

There, they spent a nice, Adult Swim-free(with many swears from Falco) night, agreeing(well, mostly) to set out again in the morning.

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That's...it. o_0;; Review, if you want. [readies a penny-loafer]