I've been writing and rewriting this for days! My tutor is too ill today so I'm off college! Back tomorrow and unfortunately will be working at the weekend DX but yeah! had some free time and finally decided to post this up... Might edit it in the future if I decide I'm not happy with it.
Enjoy x
A Sense of Belonging
It had been a bad morning.
The fifth bad morning of the week…
But a bad morning nonetheless.
Donatello was never the best fighter, it would be silly of him to pretend otherwise.
He wasn't incapable though, he could hold his own in a fight but there was one thing he could never do.
Kill.
He had always lacked the ability to kill, even in his angriest moments when an enemy had hurt one of his brothers, something inside him stopped him from ending a life.
His body would disobey and only knock the person out, he wasn't sure if he was to blame for the many enemies that seemed to keep returning.
Not only could he not kill but he couldn't fight his brothers.
Hurting an enemy is easy because it's self-defence.
Hurting one of his brothers was a different story entirely.
Every sparring lesson he could not bring himself to put his full effort into it in fear of hurting someone he loved, it didn't matter that it was good practice, he just didn't like causing pain.
These last five days are proof of how much he hated practice.
He had sparred with each of his brothers each day and lost spectacularly.
This morning his last spar was with Raphael.
He spent most of it dodging Raph's attacks which only made the red masked turtle frustrated, so frustrated in fact that he ended up throwing his sais at Donnie and pinning him to the wall.
''RAPH!'' Leonardo yelled angrily as Raphael dashed towards a stuck Donatello. ''STOP!''
Raph skidded to a halt and froze as he suddenly realised what he had done.
''Shit. Donnie… bro, I'm so sorry!'' Raph gushed as he hurried to free his brother.
Donnie released a sigh of relief once he was free.
''It's ok Raph'' Donnie shrugged before gasping at the pain in his wrist, he lifted his left hand to find a deep gash on his wrist. It was bleeding heavily.
''Ouch'' Leo frowned, ''Raph! That was so irresponsible!''
Donnie swallowed heavily as Leonardo yelled at Raphael who quickly began to yell back.
''IT'S NOT MY FAULT! HE WOULDN'T FIGHT BACK!'' Raph growled back, ''HE WAS BEIN' A COWARD!''
Donnie winced as his heart hurt, this was just one of the insults he had heard all week.
He looked over to see Mikey looking at him sympathetically but Don refused to care, he just left the dojo.
Once safely in his lab he began to treat his wound, this wasn't the first time he's had to do this.
As he treated himself all the insults from the past five days bombarded his brain.
Was he really a coward because he didn't want to fight?
Was he really useless because he wasn't GOOD at fighting?
He let out a shuddering breath and shut his eyes tightly.
Wimp
Coward
Useless
Weird
Pathetic
Weak
Donnie gulped and shook his head.
Who was he kidding?
He didn't belong in this family of ninjas, he was a pacifist, a scientist, an inventor but certainly not a ninja.
He wished he could voice these things to his brothers but he knew they would only agree, maybe they'd kick him out?
He didn't see his brothers for the rest of the day, he didn't eat or really do anything except sit in his lab.
He occasionally heard his brothers outside his door, they would contemplate coming in to see him only to leave deciding he was probably fine.
Once he knew it was night time he waited until he couldn't hear his brothers before slipping out of his lab.
He needed fresh air, he needed out.
And that's how he ended up sitting on a cold rooftop on a clear night staring up at the stars. Alone.
He closed his eyes, he couldn't cry for it would make no difference to his situation.
Why did he have to be so… different?
Different from everyone…
He opened his eyes and looked up only to frown, there was a woman on the opposite rooftop. She was mirroring his position and looking at him curiously, thanks to the New York city layout they weren't very far away from each other. He could see every detail.
She seemed to be the same size as him, she was slightly larger around the waist but weight had never mattered to Donnie, she also had a large red birthmark that covered the left side of her face making her blue eyes stand out. Donnie thought she looked very pretty.
Her ruby red hair was streaming out behind her as the wind blew.
''Um… hi?'' She called. Donnie didn't know what to do. ''Are you ok?''
''Who are you?'' Donnie asked fearfully, ''Why aren't you afraid?''
''Should I be?'' She asked before shaking her head and correcting herself. ''I saw you from my window… I was a little scared at first but then I noticed you looked sad… I'm Melanie by the way''
''Donnie'' Donnie nodded. ''And I'm not sad''
Melanie frowned at his tone and Donnie felt a little bad.
''Don't be like that'' her frown deepened before she sighed. ''I'll just go then... but... you should know, problems are easier to fix when you don't ignore them''
''I'm not ignoring my problem'' Donnie defended weakly, ''I just don't know how to fix this one...''
''Talking always helps me... I always tell my mom about my problems because she always seems to understand'' She chuckled quietly. Donnie shook his head.
''No... I'm better off fixing this on my own'' Donnie bowed his head again.
''Fair enough'' Melanie smiled. ''You don't really know me so... I understand''
She stood to up leave only to scream as she looked at the rooftop to Donnie's left.
''Huh?'' Donnie looked round only to leap up as a group of foot ninjas sprang towards Melanie. ''Hey!''
''HELP!'' She screamed as they grabbed at her, she tried to run but they had her surrounded. ''DONNIE!''
Donatello leapt over to her rooftop and pushed his way to Melanie.
He was going to fight and this time he couldn't afford to screw up.
''As soon as you see an opening Run'' Donnie said quietly to the frightened woman, ''Run back home and never look back, only then will you be safe''
''What about you? I need to call the police, they'll help you!''
''You can't! I might not be able to escape in time and a cop will shoot me if they see me'' Donnie shook his head. ''Don't call the police. Just turn on your TV and forget me and everything that happens''
Melanie nodded solemnly.
''O-Ok''
Donnie leapt into battle with an angry cry it took nearly half an hour of twirling around and hitting the nearest body until there was finally a gap in the formation.
''GO!''
Melanie sped through the gap without looking back, the foot closed together again and deep in Donnie's stomach he knew that would be the last he would see of her.
It would be for her safety.
As he was knocking out the last few ninja his phone began to ring causing one of the ninja to get a lucky hit in.
He pulled out the headset and answered the call in one fluid motion as he continued to fight.
''Hello?'' he tried to sound as normal as possible.
''Hey bro? Where are you?'' Michelangelo asked, ''We came to your lab to talk but you weren't there''
''I went out for a breather'' Donnie replied as he blocked a sword aimed for his neck.
''Are you… fighting?'' Leo's surprised voice asked.
''No''
''Liar'' Raphael snapped. ''Where are you and who are the scumbags that're attacking ya!''
Donnie was about to answer when suddenly metal clanged behind him. He looked round and gasped.
Two huge foot ninja covered in armour were standing behind him, each had two Katanas and Two spare Katanas on their backs.
Donnie gulped and began to panic.
He had two ninja on either side, he needed to pick who to focus on first.
He could hear his brothers trying to get his attention down the headset and his head began to spin wildly.
There was too much going on! Too much pressure! What was he supposed to do!?
Wimp
Coward
Useless
Weird
Pathetic
Weak
Those insults were back.
Suddenly he snapped.
No.
This time he would not be useless, nor a coward.
He may be weird, he may be pathetic and he may not belong in his own family
But Donatello had never been one to give up.
He had many flaws but no matter what he always stayed determined.
That's all he needed to do now.
He needed to stay DETERMINED!
He let out a yell and increased his attack, he first attacked the ninjas without armour and took them out in less than two minutes while keeping the armoured ones at a relatively safe distance.
Once the first two ninjas were down he faced the two armoured ones, he clenched his staff and prepared to strike.
''WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STOP BEIN' AN IDIOT AND LET US HELP YOU!'' Raphael bellowed down the phone.
''No''
''WHAT!?'' Leonardo and Michelangelo gasped.
''Donnie'' Raph warned.
''No.'' Donnie growled. ''Shut up. I don't need you guys. I don't need you to tell me I'm a coward or weak or useless or pathetic. I am NOT an Idiot and I'm NOT helpless. I can fight for myself. Your insults have done nothing but discourage me and I've had enough. You've all listed my flaws constantly this week but you forgot something''
Silence.
''I am and have always been Determined. I never give up and I will never let anyone ruin that for me again. Leave me alone so I can finish this fight by myself.'' And with that Donnie hung up.
He glared at the ninjas as they leapt forward to attack, he rolled to the side and slid behind them and attacked full force.
He didn't stop until both ninjas hit the ground unconscious.
He placed his staff back into his sheath and sighed.
Yet again he did not kill… but why is that a sign of weakness?
He had no need to kill these people, killing was wrong.
Life is a beautiful gift and nobody has the right to end it.
He took a deep breath and left the scene, he needed to go home and get some much needed sleep.
He arrived at the Lair's entrance, he took a deep breath before pushing through the turnstiles. He paused when he heard footstep and his eyes widened as his three brothers came rushing towards him in a worried fluster.
Leonardo grabbed his arms and pulled him to the pit, he sat him down and Donnie frowned. All of his brothers were asking questions and inspecting him, he could see they were worried.
They were babying him. Again.
''Stop'' He grumbled. ''I'm fine… they barely hit me''
''Your shoulder's bleeding and both your shins are practically black!'' Leo corrected angrily, Donnie looked down at his shins. They were right.
''Huh… I didn't even notice'' He mused as he suddenly began to feel the pain. ''Ouch''
''You idiot'' Raph growled. ''Why did you fight them on your own? You know we're a team!''
Donnie stayed silent.
''D'' Mikey sat in front of him as Leo bandaged the bleeding shoulder. ''What's with you? You've been acting weird all week''
Donnie's frown deepened and he clenched his teeth.
''WHY DO YOU THINK!?'' He snapped before mentally calming himself.
His brothers stared at him in surprise, they had never looked so gormless in their lives.
They had no idea.
''I believe, my sons'' Master Splinter said from the dojo doorway. ''You boys have been pushing Donatello too far. I have heard the insults you have thrown at him all week, they made you feel as if you could do nothing right… am I correct?''
Donnie nodded keeping his eyes down.
''They were wrong to do so. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses but this does not excuse your reckless behaviour, you could have been hurt much more'' Splinter scolded. ''You shouldn't look for a fight just to prove a point''
Donnie's head snapped up.
''I wasn't looking for one!'' He insisted. ''They were attacking someone!''
''Who are 'they'?'' Leo asked calmly.
''The Foot'' Donnie replied harshly. The family froze.
''You fought the Foot on your own!?'' Splinter stepped forwards angrily. ''How could you be so foolish!?''
''I wasn't being foolish, they were attacking an innocent.'' Donnie frowned, he decided to leave out the part that it was probably because she was talking to him.
''You should've called us!'' Raph growled.
Donnie looked at his angry family, he knew they were only upset because they were worried for him.
He shook his head in frustration, he didn't know what to say.
He was a piece of shit.
He could feel his determination leaving him, he was exhausted and felt alone.
''Can I just interrupt?'' Donnie noticed the TV was on when he recognised the voice, he looked over at the TV. They were reporting the battle? But there was no evidence.
He suddenly noticed the damaged on the roofs.
His family followed his gaze.
''Of course Miss. Did you see what happened?'' The news reporter asked gently to Melanie.
''Kind of'' Melanie blushed but smiled at the camera. ''Donnie? I don't know if you're watching but I hope you are. I want to say thank you… If you hadn't attacked those men then… I don't even know what they would have done to me… You're a hero and I'm sorry that you'll never get the credit you deserve. I hope whatever problem you had is solved soon and that you're ok…''
''So you saw the person who had these killers arrested? What did he look like?'' The news reporter asked excitedly.
''He would want me to keep that a secret'' Melanie replied quickly.
''well… thank you anyway… what was your name?''
''Melanie Waters.'' Melanie nodded with a small smile.
''Thank you Miss Waters and a big thank you to Donnie… whoever you are. You have saved millions tonight''
The news programme went on to reveal the four foot ninjas identities and the murders they were involved in.
Donnie sat in complete shock as more people thanked him. The head news reporter smiled at the camera.
''The first vigilante to not kill or harm their victim too seriously. This Donnie must be a kind person and deserves all the praise he is getting. Thank you all for watching, have a nice night. Goodbye''
Donnie blinked and closed his mouth, he hadn't expected that.
He was glad Melanie was safe though.
''D-Donnie'' Mikey squeaked, Don looked at his family who looked just as shocked as he felt.
''Uh…'' He coughed awkwardly before smiling gently. ''I'm going to bed''
He limped to his room and closed the door quietly.
He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling, he was a hero… so many people thanked him and praised him…
For being different from his family.
There was a gentle knock on his door and his family came in, he sat up and looked at them.
''I know'' he bowed his head. ''I shouldn't have revealed myself to Melanie and I should've killed those ninjas… But I can't… I can't kill…''
''Donnie'' Leo sighed. ''We're not ashamed of you or mad at you. We only get frustrated when you don't try in practice because we worry that you'll lose your skill. Never have we wanted you to kill anyone and never will we force you to. We understand why you hate it and for that we love you''
''We don't care that yer a pacifist. You're our brother… You're all we care about'' Raph nodded in agreement.
''Yeah! Besides, you're smarter than anyone! That totally makes up for any flaws you think you have'' Mikey grins.
Donnie smiled back and allowed his brothers to hug him.
''Thanks'' He grinned as he felt his determination coming back to him.
''You are a hero, my son'' Splinter nodded proudly. ''Rest and tomorrow you will be rewarded for your selfless actions''
''Oh no, Sensei. I don't want a reward'' Donnie shook his head, ''Please don't'
''Very well… but know I am proud of you'' Splinter smiled. ''Goodnight Donatello''
''Night'' Donnie replied.
''You sure you don't want anything?'' Leo asked knowingly.
''Not even for April to hear about it?'' Raph smirked. Donnie froze.
His brothers cackled and hurried out of his room to let him sleep. Donatello grinned, he felt better now.
He finally felt a sense of belonging.
I've been playing Undertale... which is why DETERMINATION is in this story. XD anyway! Please Leave a review x