Title: Take Me To Church

Rating: M

Summary: She never wanted to celebrate her 18th birthday anyway, and she got her wish. Her and Jasper forge a bond through the blood and fire that accompanies her new life. He understands what she's going through, because he has to. And she understands him, because she listens. But nothing comes easy, and Bella has only gotten a taste of the dangers of her new world.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in Stephenie Meyer's universe. I simply play with them.

Warnings: Cursing, sexual scenes/situations, angst, murder.

Spoilers: Spoilers for the Twilight book and parts of New Moon/Eclipse.

Author's Notes: This is a story I've had in my storage for a really long time, trying to get it just right. But, I've decided that in 2016, I can't be a perfectionist always. And therefore, you'll have this story early:) Jasper/Bella is one of my absolute favorite pairings, and this song that inspired this story, Take Me To Church by Hozier, is amazing. I can listen to it all day long. So, if you want the vibe of this story, listen to the original song! I'm always available on my tumblr, ODaerwyn, if you have any questions or just want to talk! Enjoy!

~ Part 1: Human ~

"You guys really shouldn't have," Bella insisted as Alice pressed a present to her.

A birthday party was the very last thing she wanted today. As she clutched the present, perhaps tighter than it needed to be, she felt a wave of calm hit her. Not to make her agree to all of this readily, but to relax her. She glanced towards Jasper, giving a grateful smile. He did not say anything - he usually didn't if he helped her moods - but he tipped his head in acknowledgement.

Bella then glanced around the small room, through all the candles and decorations that were surely brand new and more than fifty cents at the local party store. It was… it was really extensive and too much. She tried to understand that they were excited, she really did. But it was just a birthday. Just another day.

She really hoped this box wasn't full of diamonds or something equally as ridiculous. She was about to say such when Alice prompted her to just open it.

"You're going to age more worrying over it than you are just today," Alice giggled out.

Bella took a deep breath. "I know, I just… This is a lot to take in. Usually, my birthdays consist of eating a bag of doritos and binge watching some old episodes of Friends that Renee had taped." Carlisle chuckled.

"Well, if that was all you wanted, we have a few things on DVD in the living room," he offered.

She chewed on her lip again, glancing down to the small box, and gave a sigh.

"It's from Jasper and I," Alice pressed. "Well, Jasper narrowed it down to that. He insisted you didn't want a massive diamond necklace-"

Bella glanced up sharply, her eyes wide. Everyone seemed to laugh at the expression. "Absolutely not, Alice," Bella said immediately, trying to hand the box back to the pixie, but she practically vibrated with excitement, looking more expectantly towards the present.

"That's not what's inside. Open it already, will you?"

Bella hesitantly pulled it back. "Promise, darlin'," Jasper spoke up. "I put my foot down on sapphires and rubies. Felt they were more your taste." She glanced up to him wide eyed once more, but he gave her a wink. "Just open it before Alice has me bouncin' off these walls."

"Right," Bella muttered, and she took a deep breath. "Really, the stereo was enough though. Now I can listen to the radio for the five whole minutes it takes to get to school." She jerked the wrapping and sucked in a sharp breath at the searing pain.

It wasn't really searing pain so much as a sharp jerk of it, and then it was really just a sting. But enough of a pain that she had dropped the present.

"Ow," Bella muttered, putting the finger in her mouth. "Shoot, papercut-" Before she could even process what that meant, there was a loud snarl that tore through the room. And then she felt a large dose of absolute fear hit her. And she was certain that it wasn't her feeling those emotions. She glanced up at Jasper in a split second, but was already being catapulted backwards.

Edward. Edward had been the one to snarl, and then throw her backwards. And the fear was certainly not her own. It was mirrored by the expression on Jasper's face as she soared through the air still. It was like everything was in slow motion. She was still flying.

Wasn't there a wall right behind her?

And then she felt it. The impact. It hurt so much that she did not even think of crying out. She just crashed into the wall and then the glass table underneath where she had landed.

It was like Phoenix all over again, with the ballet studio in pieces around her. And the snarling. She looked up, a gasped pain leaving her, to see that Emmett was holding onto Edward, and Carlisle had his other arm. While Esme and Rosalie were seemingly restraining Jasper.

Alice was standing between them, her eyes wide. As if a vision had hit her so suddenly, she had no time to process it.

"Get Jasper out of here," Emmett snapped.

"No," Alice insisted. "Everyone stop!" There was still the rippling of snarls that seemed to be coming between the two adopted brothers. Edward facing off against Jasper. But the rest of the family fell silent, save for the breathing of Bella that even to her ears was a little too loud.

"He'll be fine," Alice said strongly. "I know he will. Let him go. He can help Bella. Take Edward outside."

"He can't be trusted with her-" Edward snarled.

"Carlisle," Alice snapped. "Now, or we'll only make this worse-"

Rosalie and Esme take Edward's arm for Carlisle and drag him outside. Immediately, Jasper was at Bella's side, and she blinked rapidly in a daze at how close he had gotten so quickly. Something cool pressed against her arm, and she jumped slightly at the sharp pain that accompanied it.

"Sorry, darling. I'm just trying to stop the bleeding." She groaned, and her eyes squeezed shut. Now she could feel every inch of the wound on her arm. And she was certain something was broken. Her ribs? Maybe her stomach was soup. She wasn't sure. It felt like she was pierced through. She glanced down quickly to make sure that wasn't the case, making her dizzy almost instantly.

"You'll be alright, Bella, darlin'." She didn't feel alright. Some calm eased into her before she could panic. Her dark green dress was drenched in blood. She couldn't see any piercings on her stomach. Where was she bleeding from? As she glanced up, taking in Jasper's expression, she saw that his eyes were black. He swallowed. "She's…. You've got some broken ribs, definitely, and…" He glanced towards Carlisle, kneeling beside her as well. "Her artery, Carlisle-"

Her artery? What artery?

"I know," Carlisle said quietly.

He knew what?

"I'm right here," Bella ground out. Oh, it hurt to breath. Her pain spiked just with the few words and she took a shallow breath. Some more calm eased into her, forcing her to relax slightly. What was that sound? Every breath she took - oh, it was her. Raspy breaths that sounded too … too sick to be from her. She hadn't had a cold in over a month and a half. She was healthy. Jasper's grip seemed to tighten, and she almost couldn't feel the pain. "You guys… need to go away. The blood-"

"The blood's fine, darlin'," Jasper insisted. "Edward's not here. It's fine."

"But you said that you weren't strong enough-"

"I'm doing fine," Jasper promised. He gave her a charming smile that made her trust him almost immediately. She wondered if it was his gift or his charisma that did it. "I'll let you know the minute I need some air, alright?" She gave a jerky nod, and the pain went away with another dose of calm. It seemed to be like waves, flowing in and out of her. The pain would come and go with each dose. Did that mean the pain was increasing? Or that his gift only worked in waves like that?

She wasn't sure.

She just felt like she was choking slightly. Like she had swallowed wrong.

"Let's sit back a little," Carlisle offered, and it seemed to be a mutual agreement between the two men, and she was moved against the wall that she had crashed into. The table wasn't more than a pile of rubble under her, but that seemed to be the least of their concerns. She found she didn't really care either. "Is that better?"

"Not really," Bella admitted.

"I'm going to feel along your ribs for the break, Bella. This may hurt a bit," Carlisle warned.

"Just look at me, darlin," Jasper said right after. Bella rested her head against the wall, glancing up to the blonde, Civil War veteran. He was giving her a smile that was strained with worry. He wasn't very convincing, especially if he was about to promise that everything would be fine again. "I can take the pain away better with eye contact." She nodded, swallowing hard as she felt Carlisle's hand start moving along the soaked fabric of her dress. She sucked in a sharp breath, the pain burning her stomach. "Bella, eye contact, darling." She tried to open her eyes, but it hurt too much. A cool hand rested on her cheek, and a wave of relief was almost instantaneous. "Alright, this will do."

"You would be really good at magic tricks," Bella murmured. "Like that hypnotizing thing. Make people feel certain ways."

"The early twentieth century was a whirlwind for my abilities," Jasper quipped. She snorted, and immediately regretted it. The pain was fading remarkably. Jasper was really good at this. But she didn't want to open her eyes.

"I'm losing her, Carlisle."

"Alice, I need you to get the-" Carlisle started.

"On it," Alice spoke.

Was Alice still in the room?

Not anymore.

"Bella, you're going to need to hang in there," Carlisle spoke firmly.

"Only you would be stubborn enough to want to die before they turned eighteen officially. Don't think I didn't see the birth certificate. Eighteen minutes to midnight, Bella? Really? You couldn't wait three more hours?"

"Jasper, you really talk a lot once you start to get to know someone, you know that?" Bella murmured.

"Just trying to take your mind off things." She hummed, but it turned into a haggard cough. Was she dying? She just thought Jasper was really, really good at this pain-killer stuff.

"Bella, do you still want this life?" Carlisle asked quietly.

She couldn't help the snort that left her. As she opened her eyes, Carlisle was glancing her over like she had some new issue that had sprung up in the last five minutes. Along with the rest of this.

"She's amused," Jasper translated.

"Why?" Carlisle asked, aghast. "Bella, you're-"

"I always wanted to say bite me," Bella wheezed out.

Jasper let out a guffaw, his eyes rolling as he glanced down to his grip on her arm. She looked as well, and suddenly understood where all this blood was coming from. There was a piece of glass embedded into her arm, and it was absolutely ghastly looking. Jasper's hand that wasn't against her cheek was absolutely covered in the red blood. And it was pooling on the carpet. So that was where her artery was.

"I didn't think you guys would appreciate the jab, but it's either now or never."

"Really, Bella?" Jasper groaned. "That's not very funny."

"I told you you wouldn't appreciate it." She took a breath of air, to try and clear her cloudy head, but it ended up making the pain spike, just before Jasper quenched it down. "Fuck."

"Potty mouth, darlin-"

"I'll give you guys a quarter later. I didn't bring my wallet. Edward said I wouldn't need it. Dinner's on me." She gave another wheezing laugh. "Maybe dinner's in me this time."

"Jasper, cool it with the emotion-"

"She's doing this herself." Jasper shots her a look. "Your jokes aren't that funny, darlin'."

"Yes, they are." She brought her other hand, that didn't have the glass in the arm, up to her stomach, pressing gently. "I… I wouldn't mind this life. Not if… if I'm still welcome to it."

"You're always family," Carlisle said gently.

"What about the treaty?" Jasper murmured, not too quiet, but just enough that she struggled to hear. Treaty? Or maybe this was the part where she hallucinated.

"Changing her would violate the treaty." Carlisle glanced to Bella, his face scrunched up like he was going to do something he'd regret. "I never have gone back on my word-"

"Jasper can do it." The new voice signaled Alice's return. Bella tried to see her, but couldn't over the two men crouched in front of her. "Jasper wasn't there for it, and never signed the document. He's an outside party-"

"Whitlock Coven," Jasper murmured. Whitlock? Was that the coven he had been in before this one? "Charlotte and Peter would be witnesses should there be any questions."

Carlisle was silent for only a second. "Do it, Jasper. If this is the choice she's made."

"You do want this life, darling?" Jasper questioned. Bella glanced between them, and gave a slow nod.

"More than anything."

Jasper swallowed, as if venom was pooling in his mouth. "Alright. Then I'll change you."

"Try to be gentle, this is my first time."

He snorted, glancing to Carlisle. "I swear, that's not me at all." Looking to Bella, he said, "Not your first time, though, darlin'. I'm sure you remember Phoenix." Oh, yeah, she supposed that counted. She remembered the burning. Oh, man… She was not looking forward to that again. He glanced back towards Alice, and then to Carlisle. "If there's a chance I can't stop… You must try to stop me. I've changed many people in my day, but I haven't had human blood in… in a very long time, Carlisle. I couldn't slip-"

"I believe in you, Jasper," Carlisle said quietly. "You'll be able to do this. No one else in this family is as strong as you."

How many people had Jasper changed? What in the world was going on? Bella knew nothing about Jasper's past, just that he was in the Civil War. She took a shallow breath, trying to give them an easy smile.

"You guys make this sound like it's so difficult. I'm either a cupcake or a whole cake. Just… I'd really appreciate it if you didn't eat the whole cake." Bella's weak smile was lost as Jasper shot her a look. "What? I'm serious, I'd really appreciate it."

"Death makes you a little weird, Bella."

"I've always been weird. This is just some charm shining through that has been too shy before. Got to get the jokes out in case I never can again-"

"This will hurt, darlin, but I'll do my best to stop you from feeling it."

Bella swallowed. This was it, then. She was really going to be changed, hopefully successfully. The hand that was on her cheek over down to her neck, pulling her hair out of the way. The chill of his skin tickled her.

And then it was burning. She clenched her teeth down on her lip, to stop from crying out. A crunching sounded, and she wondered briefly if it was her skin under his teeth.

But the pain blocked all thought. His hand that wasn't clutching at her wound still was resting on her shoulder, and she could feel the pain leaving her there at least, but the burning on her neck was like a localized fire. Like a hot poker against her neck that wasn't moving away. A brand. In some ways, it was like one. The mark would stay with her forever. That was how it was. She had seen the mark on Edward's wrist of where Carlisle had changed him. And Carlisle had shown his own wound once on his neck, the scars more visible due to the violent attack that had rendered him changed.

Would hers be that noticeable? It certainly felt like he was tearing into her neck without remorse.

She wondered, so briefly that it barely registered, if Jasper was going to ever pull away. It felt like an incredibly long amount of time he was at her neck, drinking her blood? But it didn't feel like she was losing any blood. She could just feel the fire deeper in her veins.

She wasn't sure when he pulled away, but she knew when she heard his voice. "Alright, darlin', I'm going to do the arm now, okay, so it heals and we don't have to worry about you bleeding out."

Well, at least she wasn't dead. But it really, really hurt. Three days, right? Of this torture?

She heard the sound of glass clinking. He must have pulled the glass out of her arm. She couldn't feel that. She could only feel the burning.

And then even more.

"Bella, you okay, darlin'?" Jasper's calm voice sounded. How was he so calm? Couldn't he feel the pain? Couldn't he feel her burning alive? She tried to answer, but it just sounded like a groan of pain. "I'm going to put you to sleep so that you don't feel it for a while, okay? It'll be easier to move you with you asleep."

Sleep sounded really good. He must have felt that, because there was a chuckle. "Alright, just hold on." His cool hands came to her cheeks, and it soothed what she was sure was a burning sweat on her skin. But it was back in seconds. An initial sooth to an insatiable itch.

She opened her eyes to see Jasper staring at her with upmost concentration. There was blood dripping from his mouth, her blood. Usually she fainted at the sight of it, but with him… it looked dangerous. It made him look absolutely deadly.

But also that he wasn't going to let anything bad happen to her. He looked entirely determined to make sure she was alright. He seemed to notice her watching him, doing her best not to cry out in pain, because a small twitch made his lips smile just enough for her to see. "We're going to go to Alaska, for the change. So you're isolated," Jasper told her quietly. "You'll be safe. Alright?"

She nodded and her eyes fluttered shut as it felt like someone punched her. The wave of emotion was complete exhaustion, and she sagged slightly, falling asleep just as arms caught her.

Jasper only removed one hand from her cheek to catch her shoulder, so that she could not fall too far.

"I'll call Carmen and Eleazar," Carlisle said quietly. "It is best the both of you are cleaned up before you arrive. The less blood that you travel with, the better. We do not want any nomads to catch your scent and intervene."

Jasper gave a nod of agreement. "I'll wash her," Alice said quietly. "Carlisle would you mind if I used your bathroom? The tub will give me more room."

"Of course," Carlisle spoke. "I'll start cleaning up."

"What are we going to do?" Jasper questioned as he watched Alice carefully pick Bella up. It was amusing, seeing Alice pick up someone at least a handful taller than her. But Alice did it with ease, just as their entire species did. As they ran off, Jasper glanced to Carlisle. Sadness. Complete sadness. "You did not fail her, Carlisle. She wanted this life. It was only a matter of time."

"Edward will be furious-"

Jasper snorted. "Edward did this to her, Carlisle. Do not delude yourself otherwise. You saw him throw her across the room just as I did."

Carlisle closed his eyes. "I'm sorry that I doubted your intentions. I knew better, but … if I hadn't tried to get them to restrain you, maybe Bella wouldn't have been hurt-"

Jasper gave Carlisle a half smile. He was used to their doubts, he had them himself. Carlisle was different than the others in the regard that he was always regretful for feeling that way. Edward simply never trusted him. Carlisle was a friend, an ally. Never tried to be a father, but always tried to keep his family as protected as possible. Bella was all of their priorities. Having her safety put above all else was the right decision.

"What's the plan for covering this up? The wolves won't be happy," Jasper warned. "And I doubt they will see reason."

"We'll stick with the original plan we created for James," Carlisle admitted. Jasper stiffened slightly as he felt Bella's emotions in the other room spike with pain for a moment, before he silenced it.

"Sorry, I had to set her down," Alice could be heard, and then the sound of water running from the shower.

"So, the truck will be needed," Jasper said quietly. "Carlisle that's a risk without a body…"

Carlisle hesitated, and Jasper could feel some reluctance from him. "There's a body in the morgue at the hospital that will be cremated tonight. I can sneak it out and stage it. We'll make sure that it's put to rest."

"Alice?" Jasper questioned.

"Charlie will be devastated, but he won't ask for an autopsy. It will be staged to be believable."

Jasper nodded once. "She's… she's going to have a hard time adjusting. She may want this life, but she has no idea what it entails yet. She hardly knows anything."

Carlisle sighed. "I know, Jasper. Thank you for…" There was no need to say it. Jasper had done it. It was over now. "I knew that you would be strong enough. To be truthful, I did not know if even I could stop. Her blood doesn't sing to me, but it does smell exquisite."

Jasper could still taste her on his tongue. He had not swallowed much, perhaps a mouthful, but it was enough to know that she was one of the sweetest. But there were a few in his day that had even stronger blood. Some that he hadn't the strength to pull away from.

"I've had sweeter," Jasper said by way of explaining. "We'll leave for Denali as soon as she's ready." Jasper glanced around. "Don't forget a few gifts to stage it with. And make sure that Edward doesn't disappear. You don't want Charlie to get suspicious about anything. I'll be back to make appearances once I'm sure it's … safe."

Carlisle nodded, rising from the ground. "Take care of her, Jasper. You can keep her from doing things that she may regret."

"It is best you get there as soon as possible," Jasper admitted. "She will take to seeing a familiar face. And my face is one that she likely won't be receptive too with her instincts."

Carlisle gave him a smile. "You underestimate yourself, Jasper. She trusts you. You've dealt with far more newborns than I have. It may even be best you help her. You weren't here for controlling the others. You'd likely disagree with my methods." Jasper gave him a wry smile. "Organic free-range parenting isn't exactly your style."

"My mama raised me with a one inch thick piece of wood, Carlisle," Jasper countered lightly, almost teasingly. "She'll need a firm set of rules to follow in order to overcome the bloodlust quickly-"

"Something you'll be wonderful at. The family will join you within a few weeks. As soon as Alice deems it appropriate."

"Always listen to Alice," Jasper said with a smirk. He glanced down at his hands, grimacing. "I'll go wash up. Make sure this is clean before Edward gets back."

"Of course." It was a dynamic between them that always stretched beyond the boundaries of the others. Jasper often gave orders, a habit he'd fall into in tense situations. A defense mechanism he had picked up in his youth, to keep things in control - to make sure there were no screw ups. If anything went wrong with keeping Bella a secret, they did not only risk exposing themselves, but also risked the Italian kings swooping in and playing God. "She will adjusted well, it will just take time."

And Carlisle reminded him of the emotions that were normal to feel. Not everything that he could feel at once. The anxiety of Esme, the panic of Emmett, the pain of Bella. And the hope of Carlisle. His compassion was his greatest gift, but Jasper knew that one day, it would lead to his downfall.

Carlisle believed everyone had good in them.

It was how Jasper was able to stay with them in the first place.

"We'll be there in a few days," Carlisle said as a way of parting. Jasper said nothing in return. He just headed for the shower, in his own bathroom, so he could scrub the sweet blood off of him before he broke. It was so much better than she smelt in person. His hands were almost shaking, they were clenched so tightly.

Three days, and then the blood wouldn't be a problem for him anymore.

Then, it would be a problem for her.