I do not own Naruto and I never will. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and whoever else has any claims to it.

When Sarutobi Hiruzen thought about Tsunade returning to Konoha he imagined it would be with her either caught by ANBU, coming back to find a place to die, or finally returning to the place of her birth crying tears of regret for all the trouble her actions caused.

With his Sensei's amorous liaisons with that Uzumaki woman he had an actual reason to call her back! One that would have her running. Uzumaki Mito had been a wonderful woman and First Lady, but her anger was ice cold and she could be down right vicious. To family or foe.

If he included a picture of young Naruto in her letter and he looked much like young Nawaki had at that age... well, it wasn't emotional manipulation. Actually, yeah it was emotional manipulation, but he'd like to see anyone else come up with a better way of getting Tsunade to come back to Konoha.

He had wondered why the resemblance was so strong, even before the Nidaime's affair came to light. He'd always thought Naruto reminded him more of Hashirama-sama though. Both were quite similar in personality. Then again Kushina hadn't acted like his Sensei one bit either. The only thing Tsunade had that reminded him of her Grandfather was that they both loved to gamble. It was nice that Tsunade was finally coming back home.

Young Naruto needed all the political backing and protection he could get.

Son of the Yondaime, Son of the Nidaime Jinchuriki, and descendant of the Nidaime he may be he was still considered an orphan to most people.

Ergo useless in the game of Clan Politics. People assumed Naruto was an orphan without connections. Being an orphan meant one was without political standing, high pedigree, and influencing power. Most of the time, unless you were the Last of The Clan.

Now with Tsunade Naruto had a living relative. One that was thought of highly, had developed the current Shinobi Medic system, and who was the last living descendant of the Senju Clan still bearing the name.

A big step up from being an orphan with no backing whatsoever. Which meant that Clan Politics were going to be a nightmare, his Advisers were going to be pains in his neck, and there would be more betrothal proposals than Naruto would know what to do with.

You did not just have a high profile ninja come back from self exile and claim guardianship over an orphan child hated by the entire Village and not expect for something to happen.

It was such a relief to know that Tsunade had Clan Heir training and was a decent diplomat and politician.

Yet that was only taking into account Naruto's Senju blood.

They hadn't even really begun to scratch the ice with his Uzumaki heritage and his being the Yondaime's only living child. Even if the Uzumaki were in diaspora they were still an Old Name. Same with Minato being dead. Legacies were hard to live up to. Even harder when they were dead and immortalized.

It was going to be such a headache to deal with.

His only condolence was that it wasn't going to be his headache. It was going to be Tsunade's. Which made him him the slightest bit happy.

That brat deserved some sort of punishment for leaving Konoha.

When Hyuuga Hiashi received word at four in the morning that Senju Tsunade had return to Konoha he was surprised.

There was no other word to express how he felt sitting there in his bedroom wearing his sleeping kimono. The Branch member who came to inform him wearing a face expressing maybe even more surprise than his did.

He didn't think anything could be more surprising for his entire day. After all it's not everyday in Konoha that the Shodaime's hemophobic alcoholic gambling granddaughter comes back.

So when noon came around and he received word during teatime that Senju Tsunade and Jiraiya of the Sannin were both related to Uzumaki Naruto and they were thought to be his Grandparents he did the most un-Hyuuga of actions and spit out his green tea all over the Branch member servant. Then he proceeded to choke on the liquid that had managed to trickle down his throat. The said Branch member servant covered in green tea looking rather irate and did not even bother to help his Clan Head.

After he had recovered from his choking Hyuuga Hiashi quickly retired to his bedroom. Dismissing the Branch member and activating the secrecy-security seals that protected his bedroom from curious eyes and unwanted persons.

He never thought the day when he could laugh in the Elders faces would come so soon.

If there was one thing Uzumaki Kushina had loved to do when she was alive it was to gamble, wager, and prank with her friends.

Kushina's best and only friend for a time, from the ages of eight to fourteen, was Uchiha Mikoto.

Kinda sad.

He'd even been one of the people to pick on her, but he'd been a hormonal preteen and a down right arrogant bastard at that age. He'd thought she was strange and foreign and definitely not a Konoha Shinobi. He told her that too.

Getting his ass handed to him by Minato had been a big eye opener. If an orphaned civilian five years younger than him from Konoha could take down a Main Hyuuga, then who was to say that the chakra mass that was Kushina, who was part of an Old Name, couldn't wipe the floor with him and then some?

The only reason Kushina put up with him in adulthood, besides the fact that he had formally apologized, was because Minato's female teammate had been his wife Hyuuga Hotaru. It was by association with Minato that Hotaru had come to know Kushina and Kushina had put in an effort to befriend Hotaru since she was her boyfriend's teammate.

Which wasn't really that hard to do since Hotaru's personality was scarily similar to Hinata's when Hotaru had been younger. Kushina had declared Hotaru to be too cute for her good and had eagerly welcomed Hotaru into her circle of friends. Even if said circle of friends only amounted to the number of fingers on both hands.

Still, it was because of Hotaru and the Uchiha vs Hyuuga Rivalry that he now had the ultimate bitchslap against the Elders! Fate loved him!

The Uchiha vs Hyuuga Rivalry was well known through out the Village. Hard not to with both Clans trying to claim the title of Best Doujutsu in the Village.

Kushina, being friends with girls from both Clans, was sometimes pressured to choose which one was the better.

It was because of that rivalry that there had been a bet, agreement, whatever Kushina called it he couldn't remember, between all three girls when they were adults and married.

If Mikoto ever had a boy and Kushina ever had a girl then the girl would marry any son Mikoto had. If Hotaru had a girl and Kushina ever had a boy then he would marry any daughter Hotaru had.

Mikoto'd been very disappointed when she'd given birth to Sasuke and Kushina was confirmed to be expecting a boy. Especially since Hotaru hadn't stopped gloating since she had been pregnant with Hinata at the time.

The betrothal stipulated that both parties, the children, would be kept off the marriage market until they were at an age where they could choose whether or not they wished to marry each other. Consent from both parties was necessary for marriage. However with the Hyuuga and Uchiha betrothals there were some slight differences between the two.

For the Uchiha it stipulated that more of the Clan would be introduced into the regular Shinobi Force.

For the Hyuuga... it stipulated that Seal Masters related to the child would work on creating a New Caged Bird Seal. One that wasn't so obvious or painful.

The best part about those betrothal contracts was that even if the children decided to not get married the "dowry" would still be paid in full!

And now there were two world class Seal Masters related to Uzumaki Naruto! Who he had a betrothal contract to!

Actually this was one of the best things that could have happened to him. His Hinata was such a sweet gentle child. More nurturer than warrior. Strong in her own quiet way. Unfortunately the Clan thought of it as weakness to not be confrontational.

With this betrothal he could safely marry Hinata, if she wanted to, but then again she was already slightly obsessed with the Uzumaki child, into a Clan that was as prestigious if not more so than the Hyuuga and be assured that her every whim would be met. Hiashi was sure anyone would be hard pressed to find a more suitable Clan Lady than Hinata. Hinata wouldn't get the caged bird seal and Hanabi would become Clan Heir. It was perfect!

Plus Hinata was kind, she was smart, and she had a shy personalty that blossomed when you really got to know her.

Also Mikoto didn't have a daughter.

Hyuuga 1. Uchiha 0.

Never let it be said that he wasn't petty when it came to Clan Rivalries. He was just a bit more civilized when dealing with it.

Uzumaki Naruto was having a bad day.

Late at night. Or was it morning? Eh, he didn't know.

Late at night a strange lady with blonde pigtails and big boobs had come with some of the Babysitters to his house.

She'd taken one look around her at his room and nearly burst into tears.

Running over to him and sweeping him from his bed she squeezed him to her body while crying.

Then she started mumbling into his ear how she was sorry and she didn't know about is living conditions and if she had she would have come to get him.

Was she his mom? They both did have blonde hair.

Nope.

She was a Crazy Lady.

Not only was he practically stolen from his bed his Babysitters didn't do nothing to help him out! Sure he'd painted their break room neon pink with feathers and glitter, but that didn't mean they had to be cruel!

He was nearly suffocated by boobs! BOOBS!

It was a totally un-ninja way to die!

Where was Jiji or Teuchi-san when you needed them?

Plus! Once they got to the hospital one of the Medics who gave him the stink eye whenever he came around went to go do a Blood Test! Whatever that was.

Busty Blonde Crazy Lady, his new name for her, was still sobbing, and he still had trouble breathing, and the Babysitters were still ignoring him when Stink Eye Medic came back and said the words that doomed him to more suffocation by boobs!

"It's a match."

They were the words that sealed his fate and caused the squashing of his face.

Being asphyxiated by boobs.

It was probably a way Jiji wanted to die. Or the neighborhood pervert that wrote porn. At least that was what the Civilians wives said.

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. I wanted to give Hiruzen and Naruto some more character time. I sincerely hope you like Naruto's nickname for Tsunade. I apologize for any grammatical errors. Please read and review.