Chapter 4

Wally arrived back at the Batcave in a little under nine minutes, sailor hat in his hands. He was breathless, angry and more than a little disturbed by what he had seen. Leaving Lisi and Dick behind to the mercy of those men had not set right with him at all.

"Here'sthehat, Batman," Wally said as he sped over, expecting questions or a glare or some sort of response. Instead, Batman had become a statue, his eyes glued to the screen in front of him.

At first, Wally only saw the chaos and horror of the scene he had just left, but then he saw the newest addition to the mad, mad tea party and icy tendrils of fear spread quickly through his body.

"No," he whispered.

Fear for Dick hit him like punch in the gut.

Batman turned and ripped the hat out of Wally's hands, glaring. "Miss M is going to meet you on the roof. She knows what to do. You are to wait until you hear from me. No matter what happens."

"But what-there's-"

"Wait. Until. You. Hear. From. Me!"

Wally nodded.

"Go."

Wally went, but not until after he saw Batman feverishly tearing into the hat, trying to isolate the control mechanism that held sway over so many men tonight. Bruce was going to do everything possible to save Dick. Wally would just have to trust him on that and do the same thing.

"Oh, jolly good!," the Mad Hatter called out, standing at his place at the head of the table. "At last, the March Hare is here!"

The Joker appeared at the side of the stage with a flourish, clown white face stretched into an lunatic's grin, eyes laughing with malice. In one hand, he carried a wooden cane. "Hello boys and girls! So sorry to be late, but I had some one to kill-ha HA-I mean, some time to kill."

"Oh, hurry, hurry," the Hatter said, grinning as he waved him over. "We have everyone in place and the cameras are rollllllling."

Dick's gaze zeroed in on the camera closest to the table. The red light was still on, indicating that it was recording, and the man behind the camera had a racing helmet on-a sure sign that he was being mind-controlled into continuing. If that wasn't enough, on the wall beside the stage was a lit red sign reading ON THE AIR.

Which meant that all of this was being watched...by the world, yes, but also by Bruce and surely Wally, which meant that help should be here any second...maybe should have already been here.

But if Dick had to hazard a guess, he would say that it was Tetch's mind-control device that was slowing down a rescue attempt. Always difficult to try to take down mind-controlled minions without harming the civilians who are being controlled. First, they would have to figure out how the Hatter was controlling the-

"You've met the March Hare before haven't you," the Walrus said, breathing heavily in Dick's ear. "I've heard him say that the two of you have a 'special relationship.' I'd love to know what that means," he added, and Dick leaned away with a small shudder.

Oh yes, he had suffered through one memorable meeting with the Joker, but none that were nearly as bad as the ones he'd had as Robin. The Joker found Dick interesting, mostly because of his connection with Bruce Wayne and the man's standing in polite society, but the clown's true obsession was Robin.

Bruce had tried to explain it to Dick a few times, how the Joker was an attention-seeking hound who always wanted Batman's full attention. The demented criminal could only "earn" it by devising increasingly complicated scenarios that grew bloodier and more horrific as time went on.

And then one day, Robin had appeared at Batman's side, a young boy who often had Batman's full, undivided attention just by being himself and by being good, while Joker could only get it by acting his very worst. There was something twisted in the Joker that felt compelled to destroy that goodness and to punish Robin for taking Batman's focus away from their destructive, endless game of good-versus-evil, Batman vs. the Joker.

Honestly, Dick couldn't understand it, but he had experienced it firsthand. Seeing the deranged clown so close had him struggling to remember that he was not Robin right now. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him to fight or run, but as Dick Grayson, there was no avenue of escape at the moment. Even Robin would have found it a challenge.

"Look-a captive audience," the Joker sang out, "my favorite kind. Oh! I almost forgot!" He pulled out large white rabbit ears on a headband marred by splashes of blood across the front. "How do they look? Oh, don't worry," the Joker said, indicating the blood stains, "those aren't mine." After a long pause, he frowned at the sea of faces. "You're so serious. Laugh! This is a tea party."

"Yes, a tea party-not a blood bath," said the Mad Hatter in a sweet voice. "I keep telling them that. But they won't listen. Look what they did to my Dormouse," he pointed to Dick. "Poor thing can barely sit up straight."

The Joker looked intently at Dick, his smile stretching with malice. "Oooooo, looky who we have here: Little Dickie Grayson. Would you like to play a game?"

Dick kept his mouth shut, not because he thought it was smart, but because he suddenly had a huge lump in his throat. It was hard to breathe past it, let alone speak.

"No, no, no. This is not a game. It's a tea party," the Mad Hatter insisted, "and we've been waiting for you for ages!"

"Yes, yes, I know. First the party, then the fun," the Joker said, winking in Dick's direction. "Where's my seat?"

"Up here, of course, near me," the Mad Hatter said, directing him to the chair across and down two seats from Dick. "And I'll be here and Alice is there and then the Dormouse, of course. It's all perfect! Everyone begin!"

"That means you go to sleep, little Dormouse," the Walrus gently pushed at Dick's head until the boy put his forehead down on the table, which was far from comfortable. But he took in a few deeper breaths and tried to focus past the discomforts of his body. For the next few minutes, the conversation flowed around him, waxing and waning. They must have been reading from the teleprompter, or else how would Lisi know her "Alice" lines? The poor girl sounded terrified.

Once, Dick got distracted and glanced up only to get a smack on the head that bumped his forehead back onto the table, painfully.

"Okay, okay," he grumbled and turned his head so that his cheek rested on the wood. The ropes around his wrists were proving to be difficult to untie and the only three plans for escape he had devised depended entirely on someone showing up to help him. It was hard not to be furious with himself for getting into this situation. This was officially the worst first date in history.

Minutes later, Dick was finally making some progress with the ropes on his wrists when the Walrus leaned in and breathed on the side of Dick's neck again.

"That's your cue," the Walrus whispered.

Dick picked up his head and squinted at the teleprompter in the ensuing silence. It was hard to read with one eye so swollen and blurry, in fact...he really couldn't read it.

He knew what the Dormouse said at some point, so he muttered sleepily, "...treacle, treacle, treacle?"

'"No, no, no!" The Mad Hatter shouted, standing and flinging a cup at the table near Dick's head, where it promptly shattered. "That doesn't come until later!"

"Aw, Hatty, don't be so mean," the Joker intervened, "he probably has stage fright. Let me go have a word with him, give him some encouragement."

"He's trying his best!" Lisi insisted. "Leave him alone!"

The Joker turned to Lisi. "Don't you worry, Nervous Nelly. I won't hurt him. Well..." he giggled, "not too much."

Dick broke out in a cold sweat. He'd finally managed to get two knots undone around his wrists but he was far from free.

"Now, now, little mouse," the Joker said, turning toward Dick.

The Walrus, shockingly enough, stood up to face the Joker. "I think he is only having trouble trying to sss-"

There was a choking sound from over Dick's head and he jerked his head up to see the Walrus clutching his throat where a fork was embedded. Blood drained out from the small holes where the tines had buried themselves. The Joker had thrown it nearly too fast to see. Dick didn't think it was deadly, but the Walrus was in agony. He tried to speak several times, but the Joker simply ignored him.

"Dickie, Dickie, Dickie...what do they teach young people in schools these days? If I put the same lackluster performance into my villainous activities as you put into this role, I would be out of the clubhouse in no time!" The clown was leaning across the table from Dick now, elbows on the table, his chin in hand. "Now. How can I help you? What do you need to perform better? Has being obscenely rich stifled your imagination? Poor lad. Or is it simply motivation that you lack? Are the cameras just not doing it for you?"

Dick licked his lips nervously, knowing there was no good way to answer. The truth was, the Joker liked to hear himself talk, and any response could provoke one of his rages. Silence was wise.

"I think that's what it is," the Joker continued, smiling in a way that left his eyes blank, "lack of motivation. So sad. But Uncle J can help you find your motivation! For example, here's a good one I know: how about fear, little Mouse? How good is fear at motivating you?"

Lisi gave a stifled sob from her seat and Dick suddenly found his voice. "About as good as human decency is in motivating you."

The Joker leaned back and hooted in laughter. "Well spoken, and probably very, very true." He stared down at Dick until the laughter had completely left his eyes. "But not something I want to hear from the Dormouse." He flung out his arms and knocked plates to the floor, then climbed up on the table. With graceless energy, he made his way over to Dick's side of the table, crawling over china and food alike as he went.

The Mad Hatter was sputtering in protest. "But-but-the nibbles..."

The Joker kept coming until his hands were on the arms of Dick's chair, leaning forward aggressively until Dick was pressed into the back of his chair. The villain's breath smelled like sauerkraut. "Dormouses should stay silent until their cue and then...they should SPEAK the right LINES!" he screamed at Dick.

The words echoed around the suddenly-silent building and Dick felt his eyes blazing with a ferocity he could not contain. If he only had his hands free...

"Hmmm." The Joker cocked his head at Dick. "Obviously..." he said, pulling back a few inches, "you don't feel enough like a Dormouse. That's your problem. But you're in luck. I know how to help with that, too!"

The clown swung up into a seated position, his feet on the seat of Dick's chair, his eyes alight with a manic gleam. A wicked-looking blade was suddenly in one hand and his other hand snapped forward to grasp hold of Dick's throat. Dick choked as he was pulled forward helplessly, hands still bound behind his back, until he was nearly resting in-between the Joker's legs.

"Comfy?" the Joker asked, pressing the knife into Dick's cheek. "Now, let's ask the boys and girls at home watching a question. In the name of all that's unholy, how is one supposed to be a Dormouse when one doesn't have any whiskers? I know, I know. I agree. Let's just fix that."

With a swift jerk, the Joker's blade sliced into Dick's skin, leaving behind cold numbness and a warm flow of blood. "Perfect. One red whisker. Are you feeling it now, boy? Need another? Maybe right here?" Another slice on the same side, deeper this time.

"No!" yelled the Mad Hatter as the Joker pressed the knife against Dick's skin again. "This. Is. A. Tea. Party! Not a BLOOD BATH!"

The Joker released the boy, who jerked away from the psycho, breathing heavily.

"Oops. Forgot," the Joker called over to the Hatter. "The little tyke has probably learned his lesson, anyway." He licked a bit of blood off his hand before clambering back over the table. "I'll just pick these up." He grabbed a few broken plates and set them haphazardly around the table. "Good as new!"

Dick was leaning back against his chair, trying to breathe calmly while the ache in his cheek deepened. The Walrus was fussing over him, wiping away the blood, a napkin dotted with red wrapped around his throat where the Joker had gotten him as well. As always, Dick felt off-balance and nauseated after dealing with the Joker. Small tremors ran down his body, but he couldn't tell if it was anger or fear or pain or some horrible mix of all three. All he knew was that the Walrus was making it worse.

"It's no matter," crooned the pudgy man. He had, at some point, begun rubbing circles on Dick's back and whispering nonsensical words of comfort.

Across the table, The Joker was placating the Hatter, promising to be more humane and absolutely blood-bath-free from here on out. Lisi was still crying.

Dick jerked. The Walrus's hand was moving lower and lower on his back, his hot breath now coating Dick's neck again as the boy turned away in revulsion.

"Get off me," he said venomously.

"You don't mean that," the Walrus replied, "after all, you wouldn't want me to bring the March Hare back down here, would you?"

A suffocating rage swept over Dick. He had taken as much as he could stand and once again, instinct took over.

With a violent thrust Dick drove his head into the Walrus's face, a satisfying crunch being the reward. The Walrus howled, but more importantly, he stopped running his hands all over Dick.

"What happened?" The Hatter vaulted to his feet and pushed aside the Joker, looking over the scene aghast. The Walrus was blubbering and holding his streaming nose as Dick watched, restrained, bloodied and half-wild. "NO! No more blood!" the Mad Hatter screeched. "You! You Dormouse! The Dormouse doesn't talk back! The Dormouse doesn't bleed! And more importantly, the Dormouse doesn't break people's noses!" The Joker giggled and followed behind the Hatter as the man strode down the table, continuing his tirade. "You are the worst Dormouse I've ever seen! In fact..."

There was a surreal moment, a long pause while the Hatter took several huffing breaths and seemed to be considering several punishments.

"He is my Dormouse no longer," he said finally. "You may have him, Walrus." And with that pronouncement, the Hatter stalked back to his chair, muttering to himself. A few steps behind him, the Joker cackled, throwing his head back to laugh at Dick's predicament...not a good sign.

"The audience won't like it. Ratings will go down," the Joker warned the Hatter.

"I don't care," the Hatter said petulantly, "he's gone too far."

Dick wasn't sure exactly what the Walrus wanted with him, but he sure as hell wasn't planning to stick around and find out. As the Joker continued to try and placate the Hatter, Dick finally managed to get the last knot around his wrists untied.

Yes!

With no warning, he leapt on top of the table and dove to an ungainly roll on the other side in a burst of speed that left everyone flat-footed. Not a shot fired. No response at all as Dick grabbed a butter knife and slid to his knees beside Lisi, trying to ignore the pain radiating from all over his body.

"I'm so sorry, Dick. I'm so sorry..." Lisi chanted, tears streaming down her cheeks as the room came alive around them. Dick couldn't meet her eyes, not yet.

"Look! The little Dormouse is trying to play hero," the Joker pointed out.

A few cheers came from the audience, finally breaking their silence.

"Joker, your 'motivation' session didn't work! The Dormouse shouldn't be trying to escape. Someone get him!" The Mad Hatter yelled, and from all around them footsteps approached. Dick looked up to see ten men moving quickly toward them-not nearly as many as Dick would have expected.

"Hurry, please, " Lisi begged.

Dick was nearly done sawing away at Lisi's bonds when there was a rolling series of loud thuds from behind them. Everyone turned and stared. All of the guards had tripped and fallen over each other.

"Oh for heaven's sake," the Hatter grumbled, "you're all useless!"

Dick swallowed a grin and kept working on the rope. He'd bet his life that a certain speedster was responsible for that. Things were definitely looking up.

"Don't worry, Hatty. I'll cut this attempt short," the Joker concluded, brandishing a steak knife.

"Don't hit my Alice!" the Hatter cried.

"Now why would I do that?"

Dick caught a movement out of the corner of his eye and ducked as a knife thunked into the chair beside his head.

"Quick mouse," the Joker said as he hurled another utensil. This time, Dick took a heavy serving spoon to the shoulder as he jumped in front of Lisi.

The Joker burst out laughing. "Noble mouse!"

Dick pulled Lisi from her chair and started running.

"Get up off the floor, you imbeciles! You have weapons!" The Hatter screamed. "Shoot him!"

But most of the guards were still trying to untie the shoelaces which had somehow gotten tied together. The rest of them were looking around for their missing guns, perplexed, with that same eerie silence.

"Speaking of which," said the Joker, "look at what I found in my pocket!"

Though Dick and Lisi had been almost to the end of the stage, they froze at the unmistakeable sound of a shotgun being cocked behind them. They looked back to see Joker standing there, shotgun aimed at them, grinning like a tiger eyeing a dying gazelle.

"I wouldn't move if I were you," the Joker confided in them, his bunny ears twitching as he shook his head. "Because a shotgun like this can blow your innards into outtards! And I'm pretty sure that even if I did miss, they wouldn't," he pointed past them.

Dick whirled around and saw with a sinking heart that there were five more guards there, all hatted and all with guns pointed at Lisi and him. He shoved her behind him, gaze shooting from the Joker to the guards and back again. In his mind, the trajectories of the different guns were being calculated, each possible move on his part considered and rejected. There were too many guns too far away.

"Not my Alice," the Hatter pointed out nervously, "aim for the Dormouse, you wankers-the DORMOUSE!"

Dick wanted to dodge, but couldn't for fear of leaving Lisi open. In a matter of seconds, all of his options had been taken away. All he could do was pray that Wally or someone else had something figured out.

And then...Lisi stepped in front of him.

"Wait," he said, confused, trying to pull her back behind him.

"No," she hissed at him, "they'll kill you but they won't dare shoot me!"

It was working. The guards, confused, lowered their guns. The Joker was gaping at her, his eyes popping out of his head until a grin took over his face. Soon, he was laughing so hard that he dropped the shotgun. "Hatter, you've been had! She is no Alice."

"Of course I'm not!" Lisi said between gritted teeth as she put a hand behind her and began pushing Dick backwards. "Dick? Get us out of here."

Dick obeyed, but first, he slid one hand around Lisi's midsection to keep her close in case he needed to throw them both to the ground. She would not be taking a bullet for him.

The Joker continued to laugh; the Hatter continued to glower; and the guards raised and lowered their guns continuously, confused. Dick moved with Lisi slowly back to the edge of the stage and onto the stairs heading into the silent audience.

It wasn't until Dick was several feet up the aisle that he realized the audience had disappeared.

"What just happened?" Lisi whispered.

"Keep going," Dick said in return, feeling that an illusion must have been projected in the theater at some point, which meant Miss M was here. That would have been the only way to keep the Hatter happy while emptying the audience of hostages. Unfortunately, Dick and Lisi had just broken the illusion.

The Hatter gasped.

"Hmmm...someone's screwing around with reality," the Joker said from the edge of the stage, looking around the theater. "Batsy? Are you here?"

A yellow and red blur began swirling around the five guards, taking their guns and quickly knocking the men out one by one. Kid Flash was awesome tonight, visible only as he slowed during the fight.

"Don't tell me they sent a kid to do a Bat's job?" Joker drawled. "Are all the Justice brats here? Robbie? Are you holding back because of my toy? Aw, you know I won't hurt them if you'll just come out and play. You'd make a nice addition to the tea party table, tied down and spread o-"

Then the Joker's voice was cut off by a black-gloved hand wrapped around his neck.

Dick smiled and straightened.

"It's Batman," Lisi breathed reverently.

The clown was still trying to talk, but the Dark Knight wasn't letting him finish his sentence. Instead, the vigilante had disarmed the villain and was whispering something threatening. The Joker was mesmerized.

The door at the rear of the stage burst open and uniformed, unhatted police officers came rushing in.

"No," wailed the Hatter, "we didn't get to finish the tea party! It was all that damn Dormouse's fault!"

"You're under arrest, Tetch." Two officers grabbed him and cuffed his hands behind his back.

Batman finally released the Joker and walked away, sweeping his cape behind him. Six officers approached the Joker with drawn weapons.

"Why so nervous?" the Joker asked them, his voice a little hoarse after being choked. "It's not as though I'm strapped with explosives or anything. Or...wait a minute...maybe I am..." He tugged at his jacket idly.

The officers reacted in an instant, four kneeling, guns drawn and aimed while two darted in and pulled the Joker's hands away from his jacket.

Batman whirled around. "Joker," he growled.

"Possible code ten," one officer said into his communicator.

"Oh, that's right," the Joker smirked. "I left that bomb in my other jacket. Too bad. Maybe next time, Batsy." The policemen quickly trussed him up, ignoring his demented laugh.

Dick finally relaxed and let go of Lisi. The stage lights dimmed and the ON THE AIR light blinked off.

"Is it over?" Lisi asked.

Dick caught a blur of light above him and wished he could thank Miss M. But she would have to remain hidden. "Yeah, it's over."

Lisi turned and fell against him, trembling and huffing out suddenly panicky breaths. "And we're okay. Right? I mean, you're okay, right? I think I'm okay," she asked, clutching his arm.

"I'm fine," he insisted, "but you might be going into shock. You should sit down," he said, guiding her to an empty seat at a nearby table. A swish of wind went by, leaving two water glasses on the table. With a suppressed grin, Dick offered one to Lisi, hoping she didn't notice how much his hand was trembling.

"Thanks," he whispered to the wind.

"But you're the one who got hurt. And you're okay?" She looked at him, her eyes traveling from his swollen eye to his dripping cheek. Thank goodness the blood flow had nearly stopped now.

"I'm fine. Just relax. The hard part is over."

A moment later, Batman launched himself off the stage and landed with a swirl of cape only feet away. "Are you two all right?"

Lisi looked up at him in awe and nodded. "Yes, thanks to you. You saved our lives!"

Dick saw the muscle in Bruce's cheek clench. "I had help. And I think you did an admirable job of saving yourselves. We only came in at the end." He put a heavy hand on Dick's shoulder. "Good work. You're a brave young man."

Dick was nearly speechless, but finally managed a muttered, "Thanks."

"And you, young lady. Well done."

"I didn't do much. I mostly c-cried and fell apart. Dick was the brave one."

Dick was about to protest, but Batman's slight shift in posture cut him off.

"In the end, it was you who shielded Dick. That was a very brave thing you did, and it most likely saved his life."

Dick looked over and met her stunned glance. He nodded and whispered, "Thank you."

She smiled, dimpling even through sudden tears. "Well, you saved me first."

The corners of Batman's mouth curved up a fraction.

"Did they catch them all, Batman? The Walrus, too?" Dick asked, his voice suddenly a little shaky.

Batman met his eyes with a look of granite. "Yes. I believe that particular criminal was injured trying to escape. Something was said about both legs being broken." Dick heard the deep satisfaction in Batman's voice and felt something in him relax. Batman put his hand on Dick's shoulder.

"I heard the same thing," said a familiar voice behind them.

Dick turned to see Wally standing there in uniform. "Kid Flash. Wow. Did you help Batman save us tonight?"

Wally sauntered over. "I believe I did. Got the hats off so the civilians could be dealt with and helped evacuate the audience. Then I tied the guards' shoes together and stole all their guns. Well, eventually. I may have missed a few at first."

"You're Kid Flash!" Lisi said, wonder in her tone. "You're amazing!"

"No, not really. I'm just glad I could help."

Dick snorted at the look of false humility on Wally's face.

Lisi stood. "I've always wanted to meet a superhero and now I've met two!"

"That's cool. Because...I've always wanted to meet you," Wally confessed.

Batman shot a look at Dick, who tried and failed to grin widely. Ouch.

The speedster put Lisi's hand in the crook of his arm. "Let's get you over to the med team to get checked out. You were a hostage for a long time."

"Dick, too?"

"Oh he'll be along in a minute. He's fine."

Dick shook his head.

"Just a second," Lisi said and then quickly bent over to give Dick a kiss on his uninjured cheek. "Goodbye, Dick, and thank you."

Dick flushed from head to toe. Why was kissing so disorienting? Lisi took Wally's arm and headed up the aisle.

"Need a moment?" Batman asked Dick, sounding amused.

Dick nodded and tried to gather himself. As the giddiness of her kiss faded, exhaustion from the night crept in. Dick really didn't feel well. His whole body was throbbing.

"Nothing broken?" Dick shook his head. "Well, you need to get that looked after," Batman said, indicating Dick's cheek. "Could be a nasty scar if not treated properly."

Dick nodded and stood up, muscles protesting vigorously. "Can we just agree that this was the worst first date ever?"

Batman's lips twitched. "Agreed. But obviously, you did make a good first impression." They strode up the aisle, Batman letting Dick set the pace.

"So it was all broadcast, the whole thing?" Dick asked.

"Afraid so."

Dick sighed. "I am never going to hear the end of this at school."

With a whoosh, Kid Flash appeared at Dick's other side. "Dude, you okay?"

"I thought you were checking on Lisi," Dick teased.

"I was, but her bodyguard is back and she's fine. I'm pretty sure you got the worse end of it, anyway. Really. You all right?" Wally sounded really concerned.

Dick nodded, tired of asserting how fine he was when he really didn't feel it. "I just want to go home."

"Not yet," Batman said before giving Wally a look. "You'll walk him the rest of the way. I need to make a change."

"Sure. I got him." Wally noticed Dick lagging, and took his arm. "Dude. Stop being ridiculous and let me help." He pulled Dick's arm over his shoulders and took some of his weight. It hurt Dick's ribcage, but it felt better, too. Dick was so, so tired.

After a long moment of trudging up the aisle, Wally broke the silence in a low voice. "I hate seeing you in situations like this where you can't fight back. I really hate it. And it was kinda my fault you were in there, you know?"

"KF," Dick said, smiling, "so not your fault. I'm actually glad I was there, to help Lisi. It could have been really bad for her."

"Yeah. Looked like she was glad too," Wally added, sounding slightly jealous. "But you did good. You kicked ass even without the suit."

Dick nodded, fatigue pulling at him. "Thanks."

"And I think you should keep the leotard. Fan club was going nuts online."

"Shut up."

"They just thought you needed more sequins."

Dick groaned.

By the time they got to the ambulance, Dick was heartily wishing that he could just be Robin and jet home for Alfred to patch him up. But no, he had to play helpless and be treated as a civilian. The only good news was that the media was kept far away and Lisi was already on her way home so she didn't see any of it.

Dick laid back on the gurney and tried not to wince as they cleaned his cheek to look at the cuts. It was going to need stitches, of course. Then, embarrassingly enough, they cut away the top part of his costume to check his ribs and for possible internal bleeding. Dick could have told them his ribs weren't broken, just painful, but he was still playing stupid civilian.

Thank goodness, Bruce showed up then, frantic in his stupid-but-caring parent mode. "Dick! Thank god you're okay!" It was usually wince-worthy to see Bruce playing dumb, but this time Dick felt better when the man took his hand and dramatically refused to be separated from him.

Once they were on the way in the ambulance, Bruce leaned forward and smoothed Dick's hair. "Just relax. It'll be over soon."

This really was the worst time; Bruce knew that. There was nothing to do but lay on the stretcher, forced to admit your injuries and face the pain with nothing to distract you. It was hell. His cheek was really throbbing now and Dick winced when a big bump jostled him. That knee to his back had left deep, deep bruising.

"Dick?"

Dick's eyes flew open to see the female paramedic who had been working on him earlier. She was leaning over him, smiling softly. "You were a hero tonight, a real hero. We'll take good care of you, promise."

Dick tried to smile with his eyes, since it hurt to smile the regular way.

The paramedic patted his arm and then went back to sit on her seat at the front. Bruce was watching. When those calm, stern eyes met his, Dick decided it didn't matter if his fan club went nuclear and everyone at school made fun of his new scar. Lisi Ericksson had given him a kiss of gratitude; the Joker and the Mad Hatter had been shut down; and there was pride in Bruce's eyes.

What more could Dick possibly ask for?