Author's note: This is purely for humour and because I want to immortalize an RP my friends and I made. To that certain someone, I hope that this still cheers you up even after all that happens. Review~

Why excluding Akashi is bad

Two figures could be seen sitting in a bar, one of them extremely drunk from the way he was slouching and his body swayed to the rhythm of drunkenness while his companion was trying his best to persuade the other to stop drinking. Flashes of lights that were moving around in a slow and languid pace made it easy for anyone to recognize them. The obviously drunk tanned man with midnight blue hair, Aomine Daiki, was lamenting on his supposedly sad fate of being supposedly abandoned by his boyfriend, the famous model Kise Ryota.

"Ryota! *hic* Why did you *hic* leave me?!"

Sighing, his former light, Kuroko Tetsuya, spoke, "Aomine-kun, please stop drinking. You're drunk. Also, Kise-kun didn't leave you. He had to leave because of emergency at his workplace."

Aomine grinned and patted Kuroko's head before slurring, "What're you *hic* talkin' 'bout, Tetsu? *hic* I swear to Drunk I'm not God!"

If one were to describe the state of Kuroko's eyes at that time, it was like staring into twin pools of blankness. Kuroko's expression was even more deadpanned than his usual emotionless expression, almost as if mocking Aomine's intelligence and questioning the gods above why was he friends the idiot beside him.

"… … You are definitely drunk. Your sentence structure is wrong and drunk is not a person."

Sadly, the sentence was ignored as Aomine passed out on the floor but he recovered after he felt vibrations coming from his cell phone a few minutes later. Flipping it open, he saw that Akashi Seijuro, his former basketball captain at Teiko Middle School, had posted on his Facebook wall.

Akashi Seijuro

Daiki, how dare you touch what is mine. *snipping sounds*

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Aomine, with great difficulty, managed to comment on said post. Kuroko could only shake his head in helplessness as he knew that his possessive lover would not take this too kindly.

Aomine Daiki

I'm not tuching tetsu.

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Not liking the response, Akashi frowned and quickly typed in his reply. His footsteps became more frantic and he was practically running to his destination.

Akashi Seijuro

Daiki, it's 'touching' and 'Tetsu'. Also, you forgot a comma there. Why are you so drunk?

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Which was immediately replied with:

Aomine Daiki

I am not Drunk.

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Suddenly, the front door to the bar was opened with a loud bang and caused Aomine and Kuroko to lift their heads to see who the new customer for the bartender was. When Kuroko saw who it was, he was contemplating whether he should help the drunken man to escape his lover's wrath but in the end, decided against it.

Well, I did warn Aomine-kun earlier.

Approaching the two males while releasing a scary and menacing aura, Akashi hissed, "Daiki, drunk is not a human being. It's an adjective used to describe a human in a highly intoxicated state due to consumption of alcohol. Shall I 'educate' you more?"

Aomine, in his highly intoxicated state and coupled with his only-for-basketball-brain, passed out from Akashi's lecture.

"Hm. It seems that Daiki passed out."

Kuroko, with an admonishing tone, muttered, "Sei, that was evil."

Smirking, Akashi spoke, "Not at all. Evil is bringing my Tetsuya out to drink without informing me."

The poor door was once again opened with a loud bang and the sounds of erratic footsteps reached their ears. Kise was running to them and in his hand was his phone. When he stopped in front of Kuroko, he gasped for air before he managed to choke out his words.

"Kurokocchi, I got the message! What happened to Aominecchi?"

Pointing at the frantic blonde's boyfriend that was currently lying on the floor, the petite male with light blue hair answered, "Kise-kun, Aomine-kun is drunk. He thought you're leaving him."

Akashi tapped his foot impatiently. "Ryota, explain."

Not liking Akashi's expression, as if the redhead was about to commit mass homicide, Kise stuttered, "W-Well… Me, Aominecchi and Kurokocchi were hanging out but then I suddenly got a call from my manager so I had to leave…" His voice became smaller towards the end but then he spoke with renewed strength. "But I did ask Kurokocchi to keep an eye on Aominecchi…"

Raising an eyebrow, Akashi asked, "Why didn't you tell me that you guys went out for a drink? What if some pervert tried to harass my Tetsuya? I could care less if you and Daiki were the ones being harassed."

Practically begging for forgiveness from the furious redhead, Kise clasped his hands together with a loud smack and closed his eyes tightly. "I'm sorry! I was about to call you but Aominecchi pushed me into the car…"

Akashi narrowed his eyes. "So this is all Daiki's fault."

Kise was practically sweating bullets at the thought of the punishment his sadistic ex-captain would dish out for his unconscious boyfriend. Akashi calmly took out his scissors and walked to Aomine's side, all the while smirking creepily.

Kuroko, feeling dread, could not help but to ask, "Sei, what are you doing?"

Glancing at his lover, Akashi responded, "Isn't it obvious? Teaching Daiki a lesson."

Covering his eyes, Kise wailed, "I can't bear to watch this…"

Akashi raised hand up before quickly bringing it down. Everything happened so fast that Kuroko and Kise had trouble confirming if Akashi had stabbed Aomine or not. Kise peeked from the gaps of his fingers, wanting but at the same time horrified to know of his lover's fate.

"Hmm… It seems that I 'missed'."

But even as Akashi said that, a trail of blood slowly left Aomine's cheek. Kise and Kuroko drew a breath of relief and Akashi had to wonder just what kind of image of him those two had in their minds that they thought he would stab Aomine for real.

Ignoring the slight creeped out feeling he had, Akashi gripped Kuroko's hand tightly in his. He walked to the entrance with Kuroko in tow.

"Let's go, Tetsuya. It's late."

"Yes, Sei."

Kise wasted no time to get the first aid kit and immediately dressed Aomine's minor wound. "Aominecchi!"

Turning back his head slightly, Akashi called for the model's attention.

"Ryota, this time I'm willing to forgive you and Daiki. However, if this ever happens again…" He narrowed his eyes. "I won't let you guys go so easily. Understand?"

Kise gulped. "Y-Yes."

Satisfied with the answer, Akashi smirked. "Be sure to tell that to Daiki as well."

Kise watched the demon emperor and his angel empress – not that he would ever refer them as such out loud - walked out of the bar before thinking.

Man, I am never inviting Kurokocchi out for a drink without Akashicchi near him ever again.

~ The End ~