The light of a candle danced in front of Adam and bathed his features in changing shadows.

As he started coming back from scrying, he became aware of the darkened room, the sound of water drops hitting the window glass and the scent of rain.

Ronan and him were currently in the living room at the Barns. The rain clouds had darkened the room – despite it being a late afternoon – while Ronan dreamt, stretched out on a long sofa, and Adam scried on a extremely comfortable armchair.

Adam turned away from the candle, the strong light not helping with the headache that he could feel coming, and his eyes fell on Ronan's figure. His friend hadn't woken up yet.

Just earlier that day, Ronan had picked him up from work and had demanded his help in creating a dream thing.

Almost two months ago, after their whole ordeal in the cave where Maura had been trapped, they had gone to Cabeswater to try the unfathomable dream thing on Aurora Lynch, to keep her awake even outside of the mystical forest. Nevertheless, it didn't work.

They thought maybe the reason was because they had tried it without Gwenllian the first time, so they brought her with them the next time, but with the same result. Even Gansey's powerful voice couldn't keep her awake once away from Cabeswater.

So Ronan had thought maybe if Adam and him worked together on a new dream thing, they would get it right this time. And Adam had accepted to help, despite being exhausted, because the fact that Ronan had wanted to work with him in something as important as this made him incredibly proud.

His train of thought got stuck on that. On the strange connection he had with Ronan because of Cabeswater, on how good it felt, on how Adam loved his role as the magician in their little group... Well, as one of the magicians, alongside Ronan. He thought back on how it had felt to face the dangers of the cave together with Ronan, working together, talking to Cabeswater so it would let them pass. He had felt useful, necessary, and like he belonged... And his unexpected feelings for Ronan were endangering all those good things.

He was pretty sure now that Ronan had a crush on him, but what would it lead to? What would happen to them and their group if they got into a relationship and Ronan lost interest? What would happen next year when Adam left for university? Their future was so uncertain...

"You're watching me again."

Adam startled a little at Ronan's gruff voice, but covered up his embarrassment at having been caught quickly.

"Well, you weren't waking up, I was wondering if I would have to resuscitate you."

Ronan's lips quirked in a smirk with his eyes still closed, but didn't say anything, and Adam had to suppress the urge to smack himself, because resuscitation lead him to think about CPR which lead him to think about kissing Ronan, and he somehow knew Ronan had made the same connection.

The smirk quickly disappeared from Ronan's face once he sat up and the thing he'd dreamt into existence crumbled in his hands and fell in pieces and dust onto the floor.

They remained in bewildered silence for a second.

"It wasn't supposed to look like that."

"No shit, Parrish." Ronan snarled. "What the fuck? This has never happened before."

Adam's stomach hollowed out. "The ley line doesn't feel any different... Maybe it's my fault, maybe you can't bring things back if there's someone else interfering with your dreams." So much for being useful.

"No," Ronan said, "Maybe it was because you were there, but I'll just have to get used to it. I'll get it right next time." Like always, he didn't care that something seemed impossible, he was going to do it anyway.

"Not right now, though." Adam said, pressing two fingers against his temple. "Let's rest for a few minutes... Can I have some water?"

"Sure."

He was surprised when his friend actually went to the kitchen to get him a glass.

Lynch came back with a glass of water and a little box of painkillers. At Adam's raised eyebrows he said, "You got a headache, don't you?"

Adam was starting to feel unnerved about how much Ronan noticed about him.

However, as Adam took the box, he noticed that it was covered by a fine layer of dust. Suspicious, he looked for the expiration date and... yep.

"These expired two months ago."

Ronan straightened up from his place at the sofa and his eyes widened a bit. He even looked a bit apologetic. "Shit."

"I'm afraid your plan to poison me has failed, Mr. Lynch."

That made Ronan scowl, but without any heat. "Don't be stupid, Parrish. There are a hundred better ways to kill a person. Poisoning is boring."

Adam didn't comment on that and settled for drinking his water.

"We can stop for today if you want," Ronan offered.

"It's fine. It's not like we have anything else to do, and we can't drive back in this rain."

They both turned to look outside the window. The rain was so thick that it was impossible to see further than 15 feet.

"Yeah, I think I just saw a fucking fish swimming in there."

"You know, I'm aware that you're joking, but in this place I'm rather inclined to believe anything."

Ronan smirked, clearly proud of this place full of oneiric wonders and impossible things that he called home.

"Then take a damn nap."

"A bit difficult to take naps when your head's pounding," Adam deadpanned. "Let's just try to do this dream thing again."

"Right, you're telling me that the headache won't let you sleep but you'll be totally fine concentrating enough to bring abstract ideas into existence."

Adam knew that Ronan was right and that he'd probably wouldn't be of much use if he went into the dream with Ronan right then, but he didn't want to admit it, so he kept quiet.

Ronan sighed, but then he tapped lazily the seat next to him in the sofa. "Just come here, loser."

Adam squinted his eyes at him in wariness and didn't move. "Why?"

The other boy just wiggled a bit his fingers and said, "Magic fingers."

His heart did an awkward jolt when Adam realized what Ronan was saying. "Yeah, right. Now you know how to get rid of headaches, too?"

"I'm offended by your tone, Mr. Sceptic. Why wouldn't I? Now get here before I make you."

A part of Adam wanted to refuse because of the clear danger the situation presented and because of Ronan's annoyingly haughty tone. However, he knew that if he didn't comply, Lynch would become unbearable, so he gave in. It didn't have anything to do with another part of him wanting to feel Ronan's touch again.

Adam sat on the sofa facing the other boy, with his legs crossed on the seat, while Ronan kept one bent leg against the back of the sofa and the other one on the floor, so Adam was kind of bracketed between his legs.

In order to avoid an awkward silence, Adam mumbled, "this is becoming a habit."

"Not my fault you have more aches than fucking Malory. You're kinda high-maintenance."

Adam tried not to let the comment sting. He knew by Ronan's tone that he was teasing him, but he couldn't quiet the voice in his head that whispered to him, too much work, not worth it, who would want such a damaged thing...

He didn't notice he had spaced out for a moment until Ronan's voice slammed his mind back into his body.

"Stop that."

Adam sent him a confused look. Ronan looked angry, or maybe frustrated. But Adam hadn't done anything... Nevertheless, Ronan didn't give him a chance to ask what he meant, as he began to explain what he was going to do.

"Alright, so there's more than one way to do this, we'll try first the temporalis muscles, which are these ones," he reached both hands to Adam's face, and hesitated a second before touching his skin. He indicated which muscles he meant by running his fingers purposely either side of Adam's face, from the top of his jaw, over the top of his ears and behind them. Adam had to force his breathing to remain normal. "And you gotta open and close your jaw while I massage."

That was weird. Adam scrunched his nose at that last bit."Is that necessary?"

"Hey, I don't make the fucking rules."

He was a bit doubtful, but did it anyway, and he guessed that it made sense, as that action as well as Ronan's kneading were aimed at working the same muscle. He hadn't done it more than 5 times, however, when he heard Ronan snort before letting out a guffaw. Adam immediately felt his hackles rise.

"What?!"

"I underestimated how stupid that would look," Ronan said between snickers. "You look like a damn cow ruminating."

"I swear to god, Lynch, if you made me do that just to laugh at me..."

"Settle down, I didn't make that shit up. But I think I'm gonna try something else 'cause I can't fucking look at you if you do that."

Adam rolled his eyes, but was relieved at the same time. This Ronan, laughing at him and being annoying, he knew how to deal with. "Where did you even learnt to do this anyway? Did your dad teach you this too?"

"Nope, I learnt this from the best and wisest teacher I've ever had." Ronan made a pause for dramatic timing and to enjoy Adam's bewildered expression. "Youtube."

Adam snorted, but his lips twitched in an amused smile.

"I didn't know you got headaches," he said as Ronan settled his thumbs on Adam's temples and started to make firm circles with his thumbs.

"I don't."

"Then why did you look it up? For Gansey?"

There was a pause before Ronan answered, in a softer voice than Adam had expected, "... No."

And suddenly, the tension that had evaporated with Ronan's laughter came back and Adam's lungs started to act up again.

Adam lowered his eyes, since looking at Ronan's face wasn't helping at all with his breathing or the erratic beats of his heart. Even if it was a nice face. A very nice face. With strong cheekbones, and long eyelashes, and a focussed expression that made Adam think of stupid adjectives like "endearing".

Ronan's thumbs travelled slowly in circular motions from his temples, over his forehead and to lightly massage the bridge of his nose. He felt one of Ronan's fingers caress accidentally the shell of his ear and goosebumps erupted along his nape. He tensed himself against a shiver.

Why was he doing this? This was dangerous. He should tell Ronan that it was enough, that he couldn't feel his headache anymore. He should stop this.

Instead, he let Ronan's fingers run through his hair, massaging his scalp, which started to tingle pleasurably.

His eyes fell closed unconsciously as he sighed through his lips with a soft sound.

Ronan's hands were traveling further to the back his head, until he had to scoot closer to Adam to reach the base of his skull.

The sound of Ronan moving made Adam open his eyes thoughtlessly, and they immediately locked with Ronan's.

The fingers at the back of his head stopped moving, although they didn't retreat, and he saw Ronan's breath hitch in his throat, which moved up and down in a nervous swallow.

Ronan looked like a deer in headlights, only, apart from the surprise, Adam could also discern an intensity that was drawing him in, magnetized.

Adam's rational mind, with his now fuzzy thoughts of why any kind of feelings for Ronan beyond friendship were a bad idea, was fighting a losing battle against a part of him that was just telling him to kiss him, kiss him, kiss him...

He saw Ronan swallowing again before speaking with a rugged voice, "Adam..."

It was right then that Adam's entire mind blanked. Because no one had ever said his name like that. So full of emotion and yearning and hope. He hadn't thought it was possible. But of course this boy before him – this beautiful, impossible boy – would do it. When he leaned over to brush his lips against Ronan's, it just felt like he stopped fighting against gravity.

It was a chaste kiss. Adam caressed Ronan's soft mouth once, twice, because he didn't know what else to do, and retreated slightly, feeling as if his heart was going to jump out of his throat. He tried not to let fear overtake him when he realized that Ronan hadn't kissed back. Fortunately, he only had to lean back just enough to look at Ronan's surprised face before his frozen friend came out of his stupor and leaned this time towards Adam to return the kiss.

It was soft and sweet and slow. And nothing like he'd thought a kiss from Ronan would be.

Ronan took Adam's bottom lip between his, held it for a couple of beats, and did the same to his upper lip, letting Adam feel the wetness from Ronan's inside part of his lips. Adam tried to imitate the movements of Ronan's mouth, distantly wondering if he was doing it right, if his friend seemed to know what to do because he'd done it before, hoping his kiss wasn't disappointing...

The tender, wet friction of their lips produced faint sounds that were making Adam's hands shake slightly where they rested over his own legs, and he could feel Ronan's gentle exhales on his face as they changed the angle of their heads. It had never occurred to him all the different sensations involved in a kiss, and he was finding himself fascinated by them all.

Their mouths were opening more now, their tongues sneaking out briefly to taste lips, until Ronan seemed to tire of that. He cupped Adam's face with one hand, as if telling him to stay still, and traced Adam's upper lip with the tip of his tongue in an affectionate slide to the corner of the other's mouth. As he was lavishing the same attention to Adam's lower lip, he slid his tongue past Adam's pliable lip and grazed his teeth and tongue with his own for a second before retreating again.

The move caused Adam's stomach to jump, like when he missed a step coming down the stairs or when the camaro drove down a especially steep road at full speed. He couldn't contain his gasp at the sensation. Although it had been very quiet, Adam lost any hope of Ronan not having heard the embarrassing sound when said boy pressed their lips together more firmly, more urgently, taking a deep breath from his nose. Then, with his free hand he applied the slightest pressure on Adam's chin to open more his mouth as he slid his tongue in it, deeper than before. Adam's heart quickened its beats as warmth exploded in his stomach.

Adam wanted to touch Ronan too, to have something to ground him. He thought about lifting his hand to the other's face, but it would require for him to open his eyes and Adam's eyelids felt so heavy, like they were glued shut, as he was using all his focus in the movements of his tongue against Ronan's. Therefore, he reached for the general area of Ronan's torso and landed his hand on Ronan's clothed stomach before sliding it to the side and settling it on his hip.

The inadvertent caress together with a lick to the roof of Ronan's mouth tore a low sound from Ronan's chest that had Adam's blood pumping thicker through his veins and his hand tightening on the other's hip.

Somehow, the intensity of the moment made them both pull back, surprised at their loud breathing, at the frantic drumming of their hearts, at the fire cursing through their bodies. As if they had reached a silent agreement, they went back to less urgent kisses – simpler, but no less intoxicating – in order to catch their breath.

They caressed each other's lips with slowing strokes until they stopped, breathing against the other's mouth with their foreheads pressed together.

After a silent moment in which Adam's mind was still hazy from the kiss, Ronan pulled back to look at Adam and the reality of had just happened came crushing down. Ronan was gazing at him with heavy-lidded eyes, red lips and lightly blushing cheeks, and Adam felt like he should say something, but didn't know what. After a minute in which Ronan seemed to also be searching for words, the other boy finally cleared his throat and said,

"How's your head?"

For some reason, the awkward question tore a nervous laugh out of Adam.

"Much better, thanks. Was that just now part of the treatment?" He was mainly joking, but he also needed to know what that kiss meant for the both of them.

"No," Ronan answered with a serious expression.

"Then what was it?" Adam pressed. He should have know that the question would piss Ronan off. His friend never took well being interrogated about his feelings.

"I knew you were an unpopular loser, Parrish, but I thought even you'd recognize a kiss," he snarled.

He knew he shouldn't let Ronan's words affect him, they'd said much worse things to each other, after all. But he was feeling exposed in the aftermath of such an intimate kiss, after having felt his defenses lower before Ronan, and so the words smarted and made his doubts come back. He leaned even farther away from Ronan, trying to put some physical as well as emotional distance between them.

"Maybe I'm asking because it doesn't make sense."

Ronan frowned at Adam's cold remark. "What?"

"You heard me. This. Us. It doesn't make sense. We are too different, we fight all the time."

"That never stopped us from being friends."

"This would be different and you know it," Adam said severely. "If we... if things got ugly, it would affect the group too." In that moment, Adam couldn't tell Ronan how much losing his friendship, specifically, would pain him.

"Right," Ronan spat sarcastically. "Like it tore us all apart when Blue and you broke up."

"It wouldn't be the same, Blue and I weren't just friends at first..."

"It seems to me you're looking for excuses," the other interrupted him, frustrated.

"Ronan..."

Suddenly, Ronan vanished the distance between them and kissed him. And Adam had half a mind to yell at him – even if he couldn't help closing his eyes – because he was trying to have a conversation and Ronan seemed to be trying to distract him. But before he could put his thoughts together to form a complaint, the kiss was over. Ronan took Adam's hand and guided it to his neck, against his pulse, while he pressed his fingers against Adam's equally fluttering pulse in turn.

"This is the only sense it needs to make," Ronan said passionately. And this was so much like him, because why would Ronan use words when he could use actions? He was looking at Adam with so much conviction and emotion that it made Adam's heart tremble. "At least to me." He seemed to deflate a bit after those words. "But this isn't a decision I can take for you. It doesn't mean anything if you don't choose it for yourself."

Adam hesitated and swallowed drily. His lips were tingling, his mind kept replaying the feeling of Ronan's touch on his skin. A part of him knew that they could have something good... but for how long?

He knew that he should argue, fight back, protect himself... but he wanted.

He wanted and Ronan was right in front of him saying that he could have. And he was so tired of missing the things that he wanted.

Ronan was observing him while Adam fought quietly with himself. As the silence extended, Ronan's shoulders started to drop wearily, the previously determined shine in his eyes started to dull.

"Adam..." Ronan's mumble pulled him back into the present. His friend looked defeated and was pulling away.

Suddenly, Adam couldn't take the loss of his warmth.

This time, he pulled Ronan to him with a hand behind his neck and proceeded to kiss him with everything he had. In his kiss, Adam tried to convey all his want and his affection towards Ronan, but also his frustration at not being able to deny him, his doubt, his fear of losing him... It was much more than a kiss, and it shook them both.

After they broke apart, Adam spoke, his voice heavy with feeling, "I want you– I want this."

Ronan didn't immediately react to that statement, he kept looking deep into Adam's eyes, searching for hesitation, for a lie...

When he found none, his lips stretched slowly on a smile so wide, so brilliant, so full of affection, that it changed his whole face and warmed his deep blue eyes.

Adam was distantly aware that he might be gaping, but he didn't really care, especially since Ronan took his slightly open mouth as an invitation to kiss him tenderly, adoringly, making Adam's chest burn anew.

"You can't back down now," Ronan warned when they separated.

"I don't want to back down. I'm just... it just seems so..."

"Impossible?" Ronan suggested, with a knowing smirk and an irresistibly reckless glint in his eyes. "You speak with trees and I dream shit up into existence. I think we got impossible under control."

Adam couldn't help but smile at that, drinking up Ronan's confidence. He took Ronan's hands in his, impulsively, and laced their fingers. He thought about how strong they had been working together in that cave.

As Ronan leaned in for one more maddening kiss, Adam's last thought was that maybe everything would be alright as long as they were together.

NOTES:

If you're wondering the same thing as Adam (why does Ronan seem to know what he's doing during the kiss?) The answer is, it's bc he's got something Adam doesn't have. Experience? NOPE. A laptop with internet connection that allowed him to search for kissing tips. (he totally would and yOU KNOW IT)

Also, he's totally not as smooth as Adam made him sound. He was a nervous mess and his hands were shaking (bless him), but Adam was too distracted to notice e_e.

Thank you very much for reading! Comments would be appreciated and I'm always down for some fangirling about TRC- You can find me on tumblr as atardisbluenight ^^
xoxo