It's Ace

It was a Friday night, and Regina was curled up on the couch with the newest Stephen King book, a steaming hot cup of tea resting on the coffee table beside her. The weather forecast predicted heavy rain, and even some hail, all weekend, and she had no intentions of leaving her warm house. Henry had begged and pleaded for a weekend sleepover with his grandparents, and she secretly suspected they were plotting something for her birthday in a few weeks' time, but let it slide. As much as the house felt empty without him, she had long since accepted that she couldn't and shouldn't control his every move — he had other family that also loved him.

Still, as she sighed and sunk deeper into the couch, the last thing she expected, with how foul the weather was, was to hear her doorbell go. Frowning, she abandoned the book and hurried to the door.

"Emma?" she asked, confusion quickly morphing into concern as she beheld the sopping wet woman, and her red eyes.

"I'm sorry," the blonde whispered dejectedly. "I didn't know where else to go… my parents…"

"Come in, let's get you warmed up and dried, then you can tell me what happened."

Emma nodded once, plodding past Regina, and standing awkwardly in foyer, looking unsure. She gestured at the puddle already forming around her feet a little sheepishly, and Regina just waved her off.

"That's what magic is for, dear," and with a wave of her hand, Emma was once again dry, and all traces of water were gone.

The blonde seemed to relax a little at that, smiling a little. "Thanks. I really need to start doing that stuff myself."

"It takes some getting used to the idea of being able to," Regina conceded softly, and Emma nodded again.

Once the brunette had gotten her visitor a cup of tea, and they'd moved back into the living room, both women sat down. Emma seemed lost in thought as she stared at the flickering flames in the fireplace, and Regina wasn't sure if she should push the issue, or let the younger woman stew. Settling for silence, she sipped her from her own mug and joined the blonde in watching the flames lick the wood.

"We broke up," Emma said suddenly, startling Regina out of her reverie.

Regina's head shot up, confused. "You and Hook?"

The other woman nodded, eyes still trained on the flames. "Or, well, I guess… he dumped me."

Regina frowned. After months of ceaselessly chasing Emma around town, she couldn't imagine the pirate would ever willingly part with her once he had her. She opened her mouth to ask, but thought better of it, letting the blonde speak first.

"In the end," the blond whispered, eyes filling up with tears, still staring into the fire unflinchingly. "I'm never enough."

Her voice was so soft, Regina almost didn't hear her. Almost.

"Emma, I'm sure that's not true at all. I'm sure whatever fight you two got in, it can be sorted out."

The blonde shook her head, a rueful smile playing on her lips as she finally dragged her eyes away from the orange glow, and looked to her friend. "That's not going to happen," was all she said, before looking down into her untouched mug. "You wouldn't happen to have anything stronger than this, would you? I really need to not feel anything right now."

Without a word, Regina saved her hand, magicking her cider decanter to them with two glasses, and poured them both a healthy dose.

"Thanks," Emma said, accepting her glass and taking a large swig.

Watching her closely, Regina inclined her head, taking a much smaller sip from her own glass. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to say, really?" Emma asked, leaning back into the couch, swirling the liquid in her glass. "I was fooling myself by thinking that could've ever worked out, and I knew it, but I guess I just…" she expelled a breath, before shrugging. "I just hoped, you know, that maybe…" she trailed off, before shaking her head, and downing the rest of her drink.

Regina offered a refill without being prompted, and was rewarded with a dazzling smile. Inwardly, she sighed. Being around her new friend had become more and more painful. It had been nearly three months since Robin Hood had left, and while the rejection still stung sometimes, recently she had found herself having those pesky feelings for the Saviour again. She had ignored them resolutely during the first year she had known the woman, refusing to acknowledge, even to herself, that her mother's birth son's sparkling green eyes made her want to watch the world burn whenever the sparkle died away into pain — an occurrence that she was sure happened very often, especially that first year, and many times because of her own actions, she was sure. It pained her to think of it, but she had buried those feelings deep down, and hadn't thought of it since Neverland, not really. But now, with Robin out of the picture, and Emma more determined than ever to help her, spending hours poring over books she knew the blonde found utterly boring, she couldn't help the stirrings in her heart. But they were friends, Regina kept reminded herself. Regina had precious few of those, and was unwilling to ruin her friendship with this woman, not when she so clearly didn't reciprocate her feelings.

It didn't mean Regina wasn't sorely tempted to hunt down the pirate for whatever it was he had said to the blonde to make her look so lost as she downed her second glass of cider.

Five glasses of cider later, and Emma was looking happily flushed as she smiled at some inane story Regina was telling her about Henry's attempts at hiding his crush from her last week.

As the story finished, the blonde retread back into silence, and then Regina heard a sniffle and looked up to see her green eyes glistening again. Alarmed, she scooted closer to the blonde, taking the glass from her, and giving her an awkward side-hug. It occurred to her then that this the first time they had hugged, and she instantly worried that maybe she had given too much away. As she was about to pull away, she felt Emma's hands fist into her shirt, holding her to her, letting the material soak up the tears that were streaming down her face steadily now.

Not knowing what else to do, Regina gently rocked the blonde, keeping up a steady stream of reassurances until the sobs stopped wracking the younger woman's frame, and she pulled back to look up at Regina with wide, slightly glazed eyes from the alcohol.

"Thanks," Emma muttered, pulling back further. "I'm sorry about your shirt."

Regina waved her hand in a dismissing gesture. "Don't worry about it. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Emma was silent for so long, Regina thought she wouldn't speak, but then:

"Can I ask you something?"

Schooling her features to hide her surprise at the turn the conversation had taken, Regina nodded. "Of course."

Biting her lip, Emma's gaze returned to the now dying fire. "What makes a relationship for you? A romantic one, I mean."

Confused, Regina frowned. "I don't understand."

Sighing, Emma looked at her briefly, eyes flitting back to the fireplace quickly. "Would you say a romantic relationship needs sex to be fulfilling?"

Pausing, Regina cocked her head to the side, considering. She felt like they had finally hit upon the issue between Hook and Emma, but she wasn't sure what the blonde's angle here was, so instead she thought about the blonde's question.

"I never considered it before," she started slowly, and thought she saw Emma's back straighten, as if expecting a blow. "But, ultimately I do not think a relationship needs sex to work. There are other ways of having intimacy that do not involve physical proximity."

Emma took a shuddered breath, but the brunette couldn't read her expression, as she kept her face turned away, still looking at the dying embers in her fireplace. "But would you ever want to be in a relationship without sex?"

The question was asked so quietly, again Regina almost didn't hear her. She wondered if Emma had wanted her to at all.

"I think," Regina said slowly, unsure about what this had to do with Hook exactly, but knowing that, for some reason, her answer mattered greatly to the blonde in front her. "That the only things a relationship really needs are love and trust. All else is…" she shrugged, unsure of what word to use. "So yes. If I loved the person, I would certainly not see the problem in considering entering into a relationship without sex."

"Hook didn't."

Regina frowned again, utterly confused. "Didn't what, dear?"

Emma shrugged helplessly. "Love me enough, I guess. Or consider. Both, in the end."

"What…?"

"We'd been dating for a few months, and I guess I kept pushing it back, not wanting to face what I knew I'd have to eventually, because I think deep down, I knew what would happen — I mean, it always has before, so I don't know why I ever thought…" she took a deep breath and stopped her rambling. "I just. I knew there was no real future with him, not when he so obviously only wanted one thing from me, but I just got so tired of being alone all the time, and I wanted to pretend…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

"Emma…" and image was starting to form for Regina, and she could feel her anger for the pirate grow with each broken word that seemed to wrench itself from Emma's chest.

"I guess in the end, I was just fooling myself. As if anyone could ever love me. I'm broken."

"Emma, no!"

They both flinched at the loud outburst from the older woman and Regina took a deep breath to try to calm down.

"You are not broken. You are not unlovable. Much on the contrary…"

Emma smiled at her sadly, tears streaming down her cheeks silently again. "I'm asexual, Regina. I used to think — to hope — that it wouldn't be solitary sentence, that there would be someone out there that could, I don't know, see past that and still love me for me, not for my body, but it's never…"

"Your sexuality should never affect how people around you feel about you," Regina said firmly.

Emma laughed brokenly. "Maybe that's true for other sexualities, but mine is unforgiving, Regina. I can never make anyone happy, not fully, because there will always be something missing."

Grabbing one of the blonde's trembling hands in her own, Regina waited until the watery eyes focused back on her, before giving her hand a comforting squeeze.

"You are perfect just as you are, Emma. And if the pirate couldn't see it, then he is a bigger fool than I originally thought." She reached up with one hand to gently wipe the tears away. "You are not broken, and you are not unloveable. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you." When Emma looked away again, Regina squeezed her hand again, gently, before repeating. "Anyone."

Emma's eyes searched her own for long minutes. "What are you saying, Regina? Because it sounds a lot like…"

Taking a deep breath, Regina closed her eyes, before nodding softly. "I love you, Emma."

There was silence for so long, Regina opened one eye, almost unwilling to see how her confession had been taken. What she saw almost made her cry. Emma was smiling broadly at her, tears once again streaking down her face.

"You mean it? Even though…"

"My darling girl," Regina whispered tenderly, once again wiping away the tears that she fervently hoped were of happiness this time. "Nothing could change that."

And before she could blink, Emma launched herself at the brunette in a bone-crushing hug. "I love you too," she felt whispered into her hair, and started to pull back, startled.

"What? But Hook…"

Emma just held on tighter, head shaking beside her own. "Like I said, I didn't want to be alone, and you…" the blonde finally pulled back, but grabbed one of Regina's hands in her own. "I've seen your Evil Queen outfits, remember. And even I'm not oblivious enough to these things to not know that you exude sexuality. It seemed better to cut my losses, rather than hold on to hope that you could ever…"

"Oh, Emma," Regina breathed softly, hand reaching again to brush the other woman's cheek. "For you, it's no hardship at all. I can most definitely live without something as small as sex."

Emma's returning smile was blinding, and when she snuggled up closer to her on the couch, curling into her side like a kitten, Regina smiled softly before magicking a blanket to cover them. She stroked the blonde locks beneath her fingers tenderly as she looked down at the emotionally spent woman next to her, and felt like her heart was about burst with happiness.