Love Stinks
by Arsahi
Part One: The Plan


Much thanking to the omni-cool Kate. She's my consultant on this fic, and it wouldn't have nearly as good a plot and filler material as it does now. Thanks, Kate!!

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Daine still couldn't quite believe it. Numair had broken the news to her gently, but she still couldn't quite grasp at what he had told her. Fearfully, and somewhat doubtfully, Daine looked at Numair and took a deep breath. "Did...did you just say that...that you...you're breaking up with me?"

Numair averted his eyes to the ground for a moment, then met her eyes and nodded.

In shock, Daine's legs almost collapsed beneath her. When she realized where she stood, she looked up at Numair, muttered something to the effect of "I have to go" and darted out of the room at inhuman speeds. She stumbled down the stairs from her rooms, blindly ran through the rooms that led to the game trials outside, and collapsed onto the grass. Before she had time to breathe, the deer, rabbits, squirrels, dogs, and everything else that was on the game trail at that time came running to her, thrusting their faces and paws up to her and nuzzling against her face and legs and arms, trying to comfort her.

She heard footsteps pounding the trail, slowing as they reached her.

Go! she told the animals around her. Go! Someone may try to hunt you!

The dogs whined and licked her face. One of them said, That is a knight, not a hunter.

Go! Daine yelled at them. The dogs scampered away long after the deer and more frightenable creatures had left, leaving Daine trying to blend in with the grass. She closed her eyes and willed herself to look like the grass so whoever tried to come up to her would go away, but it didn't work.

"Daine?"

She opened her eyes as the speaker blocked her sunlight. "What do you want?"

Unable to make out the speaker's face, she squinted.

"Daine...I...why did you run out here?" he asked.

She turned on her side, only to find the speaker crouched beside her when she did. "Neal?" she asked inquisitively.

He nodded and sat, studying her. "Why did you run away so fast?"

Sitting up, she played with the grass, unable to hold back tears any longer. Numair, not loving her? How could that happen? She hadn't stuck around for the details, but now, out of morbid curiosity, she wanted to know. "Nu-Numair..." she started, unable to speak clearly. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, looking into Neal's deep green eyes. "Numair broke up with me."

Neal rocked back on his heels, blown away by the statement. "Daine...I'm so sorry."

Sniffing hard, she looked away. "Don't. Just...don't." So he didn't.

However, he did pull her into a hug, unable to stand the sight of someone he had once had a crush on cry.

She fought the hug at first, but slowly relaxed until she let her tears flow freely onto Neal's shoulder. Neal murmured soft, comforting words to her as he stroked her hair with gentle hands and held her. He wasn't as tall as Numair, nearly, but she did manage to curl into his arms and be comforted. She didn't know if he had used some of his Gift on her or not, but she liked the calming effect that he had on her.

"Thank you."

Neal loosened his arms around her. "You're welcome." He kissed her on the forehead and let her go, to find that she fell back on her bottom when he did. Grinning, Neal stuck out a hand and lifted her to her feet. She let her hand linger a little longer in Neal's than it should have and sighed, letting him go.

Daine nodded to him and started down the game trail, further into the forest.

"Daine!" he called after her.

Turning around, she answered, "What?"

Neal ran and caught up with her. "Did he say he didn't love you?"

Daine thought hard and shook her head. "No sir. He just said that he wanted to break up."

"Well, my fiance has decided she would rather not marry me anymore--morbid details not disclosed--so...I was thinking. What if you and I pretend to court one another, thus making Numair jealous and realize he wants you back and still loves you and making Yuki jealous?" Neal suggested.

"That's a fair daft thing to say," Daine told him.

"No, it isn't," Neal argued. "If you just think about it..."

Daine glared. "Absolutely not."

Snorting, Neal threw his hands up in the air. "What other choice do you have, Wild Mage?"

Opening her mouth, Daine almost answered. However, she had no reply in mind, and couldn't think of anything to say. She closed her mouth and watched Neal smirk.

"See?"

Daine did see, but she'd be damned by the gods themselves if she would admit it to this moron. "Whatever. You seem a bit eager to do this."

"'Cause I know it'll work," Neal told her.

"Do you have the Sight?" Daine asked him.

"Er...well, no, not--" Neal started.

"Then hush," she instructed. "Lest you had the Sight, I wouldn't have listened to you."

"Should've lied then?" he asked with a grin.

Hanging her head, Daine exasperatedly gave Neal a shove in the arm. "Go. Just...go. I'll talk to you later, all right?" she told him as he trotted off down the game trail. "Thanks again!"

"You're welcome again!" he called back, walking backwards. However, he tripped over his feet and fell backwards, tumbling heels over head down the trail. Daine snickered quietly and continued on her walk.

***

Alone, Daine found she couldn't much keep her mind off of Numair and what had just happened between them. This, eventually, brought her to think about what Neal had suggested. She loved Numair with all of her heart not taken by animals or her mother or her father and she would do anything for him. By "anything", did she really mean anything? Would she pretend to court Neal just to get Numair back? To make him look at her with those loving brown eyes and make him itch to hold her in his propotionally-sized arms?

Well...duh. Of course she would.

She tried to figure out how much older she was than Neal. She had seen him often in the palace when he actually stayed there for awhile, and remembered once overhearing Neal and Kel as she told Neal that he was a full five years her senior. That meant Neal was fifteen to Kel's ten, and Prince Roald was about a third-year page when Kel started, making Neal two years older than the prince. She was five years older than Roald, so that meant she was only three years older, give or take a year, than Neal.

Not bad, Daine commented mentally. It could have been like Numair and I.

Daine walked back into the palace and found that someone had moved her things from her and Numair's suite of rooms. They were now located in the suiets by the full-fledged knights and, luckily for her, just down the hall from Neal. Instantly she knew that Neal had had her things moved under the pretense that she would arrive at the conclusion she had.

Opening her door carefully, she found that the servants had arranged her things almost to mirror the rooms she had with Numair. "Argh!" she cried, stepping in and looking around the room. "I didn't want to..."

"Knock, knock," drawled a voice from the doorway, interrupting her vocal thoughts. Daine whirled to find Neal standing there. "Surprised?"

Making a face, Daine looked around. "Not really."

Neal chuckled. "I asked the servants if Numair had requested your things moved yet and they told me that he had. Coincidence that they moved you down the hallway from me, honestly. I was going to have your things moved to another room in the mages' quarters because I didn't want you to blame me for this, but the servants picked the room. Looks like we're neighbors though."

Daine crossed her arms over her chest. "So? Will you just stand there all day or will you let yourself in?"

"Well, actually," Neal said as he stepped inside. He didn't bother to shut the door behind him. "I feel rather hungry, my lovely lady, and would like you to accompany me to the mess or a restaurant in Corus."

Wary, Daine regarded him suspiciously. "Will you pay?"

"Of course, dear heart," Neal told her. "I'm not a cheap date."

Pursing her lips, Daine rolled her eyes. "Right, right. I'lll go into Corus with you, but give me a moment to change. I have grass all over me and it feels rather uncomfortable."

Nodding, Neal ducked out of the room, shutting the door as he went. When Daine emerged, she found him in a cleaner set of clothes as he offered her his arm. She snubbed him, leading him down the hallway towards the exit instead.

"Ouch," he commented as he fell into step next to her. "Love, that hurt."

"I didn't touch you," she replied, raising her eyebrows quizzically.

"Ah, but you refused a gentleman's arm," he explained. "Ettiquette, my dear, ettiquette."

Daine gave him a Look and shoved him playfully. "I don't see you as the type to follow protocol like that."

"You forget," he told her. "My father is the Duke of Queenscove, which makes me a potential duke, which means that as one of the four founding fiefs of Tortall I must follow protocol strictly. At least at the palace. If you get me away from the palace, like out on the game trail, I throw protocol to the wind, and I like it better that way."

"You confuse me," Daine informed him. "Then again, so does everyone in this place. I used to wonder if anyone acted the way they should here, and everyone would tell me that they didn't."

"The truth," Neal agreed.

They walked in silence for a little while longer, opting to walk to Corus rather than take a horse because neither had pressing business to attend to that afternoon. Neal didn't want to charm Daine--he was still hung up on Yuki--but he did want her to get her mind off of Numair for a while, so he kept her talking about things unrelated to Numair: court politics, his family, Kel's family, the king's family, knightly adventures, and other such things. He tried to stay as far away from the topic of Numair as he could, if only because she looked so hurt when she spoke about him.

However, his plan backfired when Daine began to tell him a story over midday about her days as Numair's "magelet".

Red alert, red alert! his brain told him. Mayday, mayday! Numair, Numair!

She seemed okay though with talking of him as if he were just a teacher she had enjoyed learning from and nothing more. Relieved, Neal changed the topic. "Did you give any thought to my proposal?"

Daine looked at him as if he had sprouted horns, then realized what he had asked her about. "Oh. Well, I do want him back..."

"I asked if you considered my suggestion anymore," Neal reiterated. "I don't need an answer to the suggestion, but I want an answer--yes or no will do fine--to my question."

"Oh. Well, yes, then," Daine replied.

"Good," Neal nodded. He looked up at the sky through the window of the restaurant they had chosen and grinned. "The day's gorgeous and we still have most of it left. Would you like to go do anything else while we're here? Low on supplies or anything?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not." She paused for a moment before adding, "I agree to your proposition, by the way."

He nodded. "Well, I need some more things while we're here. Would you mind too terribly much joining me?" Neal inquired. He leaned forward over the table and whispered, "I see some court ladies over there who practically run the rumor mill. If we keep the charade up around them, the news will get to Yuki and Numair faster."

Daine nodded and smiled. "Of course."

He tucked Daine's hair behind her ear and sat back down, hailing a server. The server hurried over, Neal requested their bill, and the server scurried off. Thinking, Daine studied the brown haired, green eyed knight in front of her. He was being obnoxious, more so than the usual Neal. The whole Yuki thing must have cut him deeper than he wanted to admit.

"What happened to Yuki?" Daine asked quietly.

Pain flashed across Neal's face as he looked away. "She went to go visit her relatives in the Yamani Islands, and apparently she had forgotten about a lover she left there before she came with Princess Shinko. To put it simply, she remembered him when she got there."

Daine ruffled his hair. "Has she come back yet?"

"Arrived just this morning," he answered, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm it down.

Wincing, Daine said, "That's fair painful."

He laughed, but it sounded forced. "Painful. Fair painful for sure."

"No making fun of the way I talk," Daine commanded, glaring.

"Sorry," he mumbled. A moment later, the bill came to them. Neal paid for it and rose, offering his arm to Daine. She took it after a moment of contemplating, and walked out of the restaurant with him.

Daine walked with him to the various places he needed to go, talking with strays and birds while Neal went about his business in the shops. When he finished his last errand, Daine felt drained, emotionally and physically. The sun had started to set by the time they started back to the palace, and Daine didn't hold onto Neal so much as for show as for the sheer fact that her legs had started to drag.

"You look tired," Neal murmured as they reached the palace gates.

"I feel tired," Daine confirmed. "You dragged me all about Corus today. I don't have a knight's stamina."

"No shame in that," Neal assured her. Once they entered the palace, Daine had yawned nearly wide enough to crack her head open and told Neal she couldn't walk another step without falling over. Ingeniusly, Neal swept her up, keeping one arm under her arms and putting the other under her knees. When he reached her rooms, he found that Daine had fallen asleep on him. He hated to wake her up, but she had the keys to her rooms and he didn't want to riffle through her pockets while she slept. "Daine." He shook her a little. She continued to sleep. "Daine," he said, louder. She still slept. "Daine!"

"I'm up!" she cried, springing awake and almost falling out of Neal's arms.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed, setting her on her feet.

Daine blinked. "How...how did...?"

"You fell asleep on me, darling," he drawled. "So I figured I would bring you here. I wouldn't have waken you if I didn't have to, but you have your key and I really didn't want to riffle through your pockets."

"Oh." Yawning, Daine dug her key out of her pocket and unlocked the door. She turned to face Neal once inside, standing in an awkward silence with him. "Er, thank you for midday."

"My pleasure," he replied, watching her intently with those unnervingly green eyes.

Hesitantly, Daine wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. "Thank you, Neal. It meant more to me than you'll ever know, and I think your plan just might work."

He hugged her back. "Of course it will. I came up with it, and my plans always work."

Rolling her eyes, Daine released him and shoved his shoulder. "Go eat or socialize or something. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Daine." He kissed her forehead and left.

Daine rubbed her forehead and shut her door.

***

Neal found himself pinned against the wall the moment he rounded the corner. "Don't hurt me!"

"You're such a little girl," his attacker spoke.

"Ah, the lovely Kel. Hello, dear," he replied, all smiles.

Kel rolled her eyes. "Come with me." She grabbed a fistful of his tunic and dragged him into her rooms, shutting the door behind them. Roughly, she shoved him onto the bed and leaned against the wall. "Why do all the court ladies seem to buzz with the news of Daine and Numair's break up, your and Yuki's break up, and the news that you and Daine have found replacements in each other?"

Surprised, Neal arched an eyebrow. "Impressive. I knew hanging around with Daine at the restaurant with the rumor mongers would benefit us..."

Kel shoved him over and plopped on the bed next to him. "What do you mean, 'benefit us'? Neal, what have you and Daine started?"

Neal sat up, folding his legs beneath him. "Well, Numair has decided to break it off with Daine, and earlier this morning Yuki introduced me to the man her parents engaged her to. She adores him, even more than she loves me. So I found Daine on the game trail after seeing her run like a wild animal through the palace, and she told me what had happened. I came up with an idea to get Yuki back and to get Numair back for her."

Studying him for a moment, Kel came to the conclusion that he had gone mad. "What harebrained scheme have you come up with now?"

"Well, the way I see it, if Daine and I pretend to court each other, then the rumor mongers will notice. Word will get out that Daine and I have moved on, and it will make Numair and Yuki jealous. They'll come to the conclusion that they still love us and want us back, so they'll come crawling back to us, and everything will go back to normal," he explained.

"And Daine actually agreed to this?" she asked incredulously.

"I guess she feels as desperate as I feel." He shrugged. "Not that I feel the particular need to complain."

Groaning, Kel sat up and buried her head in her hands. "Neal, what have you done?"

"Started something I can't take back?" he guessed.

She hit him.

"I knew you wouldn't approve, Mother Kel," Neal told her teasingly.

"But has that ever stopped you before?" she shot back.

"Not once," he confirmed.

"Can I do anything to help?" she inquired.

"Not at this point, but later on," Neal told her. "Right now all we want to do is spend time with each other, get to know one another a little better, and I'll fill you in every step of the way. Of course, I need to check my plan with Daine...maybe you can help me figure out the finer points?"

Kel nodded and took out a piece of parchment and a pen. "Okay. Phase one." She wrote that down on the parchment. "Get to know Daine, make sure rumor mongers see, and fill Kel in on the plan." She looked at Neal.

"Phase two: Operation 'Woo Daine'." He motioned for her to write it down.

She did. "I can imagine what will happen then. Phase three?"

"Phase three: actually manage to court Daine." He shrugged.

"And phase four probably consists of Numair and Yuki crawling back to you two," Kel finished.

"Exactly," Neal agreed.

"Numair may try to kill you if he still loves her," she warned him.

"Daine would never allow it," he replied, shrugging.

Shaking her head, Kel handed him the parchment. "So you can show Daine the plan," she explained. "You should probably tell her that I'm in on it too, just so she doesn't wonder how you suddenly got neat handwriting."

Huffing, Neal replied, "I have neat handwriting!"

"Sure. Delude yourself. It's fun," Kel conceded.

He snorted. "Whatever. You know I do."

"I know you don't," she informed him. "I've known you since the day I became a page. I know you don't have handwriting--you can barely write my name legibly on my Midwinter gift tags."

Neal clutched his chest over his heart. "Ah, fair Lady Kel, you've wounded me!"

"Good," she snorted. "Teach you to think twice before messing with a lady knight."

He pursed his lips. "Ugh. I've learned that lesson three times over between you and Alanna."

"And yet you continue to fail." She rapped him on the head. "Go to sleep, Neal. I'll see you in the morning."

"Agreed." Rising, he stretched and headed for the door. "Oh!" he turned and faced Kel just as he opened the door. "I'm actually meeting Daine for breakfast somewhere. I'll see you at midday, hopefully."

She waved. "Goodnight, Neal."

"Goodnight, Kel."