A/N: DAMNIT MONTY GET OUT OF MY HEAD! XD
er... i can explain... okay i really can't... happy early valentine's day? :D
this is just a hilarious explosion of ships i sail for RWBY in various degrees... because funny~ no real plot, no real point, and only vaguely linked to any of my other RWBY fics (such as Hate for the Cadbury and Deluge for the Arkos) no real canon here, just some fun~
Dis: RWBY is owned y Rooster Teeth and created by Monty Oum Great-lord-of-shipping-God-of-dance-and-Herald-of-Love-and-Badass!
ENJOY!
Conflagration
Sun walked down the rows in the cafeteria with an extra spring in his step, heading for one place in particular.
"Oh my god there's Sun!"
"Look at those abs…"
"I heard he's dating Blake."
"What no! I heard he was dating Yang!"
There were a myriad of voices all around whispering whatever was the latest in the rumor mill. Sun didn't care, he was going to his favorite ladies and he honestly didn't care what everyone else thought. They'd discussed this long and hard and then got distracted and the blondes sorta convinced Blake it was okay…
"Whoa you kidding man?"
"That's what I heard!"
"What a god! Banging two hot chicks!"
"two hot chicks on the same team!"
"That takes some balls…"
Stopping at the usual spot for Team RWBY to be eating he crept up behind the two. Hit tail was up in an amused fashion, grinning at Ruby who was giving him a weird look. He put his finger to his lips, smirking as he snuck up towards the two, holding his arms out wide-
"You're not as subtle as you think, Sun," a flat voice halted him as Blake didn't even look up from her book. Next to her her partner just snickered.
"Aww," Sun wrapped his arms around both their shoulders, still grinning that goofy monkey grin of his, "And here I thought I'd surprise you~"
"Oh my god! The nerve of that guy!"
"I know!"
"How can they not know!"
"I know!"
"I think it's hot…"
"S'up sexy~" Yang purred at her fellow blonde, wiggling her eyebrows as a bright grin spread across her face.
"S'up hottie~" Sun leaned in and nuzzled her nose.
"Oh my gooooooooddd~ right in front of her!"
"What a bitch!"
Blake just snorted, her ears flicking her bow around as she could hear the gossip picking up. -If they thought this was bad wait a few minutes…- her thoughts were interrupted as Sun turned his attentions to her, nuzzling her ears making her involuntarily purr for a moment.
"… what?"
"smooth criminal…"
In front of the threesome Ruby and Weiss were staring. What the heck was going on?! as far as either of them knew Blake was dating Sun and… what? Yang? The two other members of RWBY had effectively stopped eating and were staring at what was in front of them.
Without missing a beat Sun pulled them together closer, "How are my two favorite ladies in the whole wide world this Sun-ny afternoon!" the terrible pun got a snort from the blonde brawler and an eye roll from the brunette.
"I dunno, Pun, its been kind of boring so far~" Lilac eyes looked at the blonde boy half closed and with a daring grin, which she turned to Blake who just continued rolling her eyes.
"You both are soooooo funny," the black cat's voice was flat, trying to keep her face in her book and not show that she was actually smirking at their wordplay.
"Oh but you love it~" with a big grin Yang reached out and tugged on the black hair in front of Blake's human ears, causing the girl to flush.
"What?!"
At this point Ruby's eyes were wide enough to almost be popping out of her skull and Weiss had her mouth open and just hanging. Neither having any idea what the hell they were looking at.
Behind him Sun's golden monkey tail wiggled as he was just cheekily amused, "Hey, ladies, I don't think they get it yet," he crouched down between them and pointed at his cheeks, "How 'bout spelling it out and giving daddy some sugar~"
"You're such a dick," came Blake's flat voice, causing Yang to bust out laughing.
Sun didn't seem to care, batting his eyes at the black cat, "As hottie said; but you love it~"
Amber eyes rolled but she finally put down her book, showing off that wry cat smirk as she faced the two. The blondes looking at her hopefully with big dopey grins she could not say no to, "Oh fine!"
In sync both Blake and Yang turned to Sun and planted rather obviously kisses on his cheeks… and with a dopey sly grin he reached around both of them and grabbed them under the arms copping a feel on both making Blake squeak and Yang bust out laughing.
"WHAT?!"
The trio was nearly floored as just about everyone stood up shouting, well mostly those near them and especially Weiss. Not Ruby though because she was still too stunned staring at what was happening in front of her.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THREE DOING?!" the Schnee Heiress was up and pointing at them while her left eye twitched. Okay, she could deal with Blade being a Faunus, she could deal with Blake dating that rapscallion from Haven, she could deal with Yang being an overbearing flirt and tease… BUT THIS WAS SOMETHING ELSE!
Three sets of eyes turned to the flustered, and very confused, Heiress. They blinked, and Sun squeezed appropriately getting a slap from Blake on his hand while Yang leaned in closer. Some high pitched screech came from Weiss' throat as she started shaking.
Yang of course just snorted, "Wow, you can almost see the steam coming out of her ears!"
Sun wiggled his pinky in one of his, "She certainly sounds like a tea kettle…"
Blake had to raise her hand to cover her mouth as she tried not to snort at the mental image.
"EX-PLAIN!" Weiss' voice was a whole new level of high pitched as it was obvious she was trying to contain herself from just outright yelling at them. Everyone else in the cafeteria quieted as well, wanting to hear this new development from the infamous Team RWBY.
"Well you see, Weiss, there's thing that happens when a man and woman, or two women, or in this case two women and a really hot guy-" Yang sort of leaned back, completely nonchalant, on Sun's arms as the guy just kept grinning and she tickled under his chin, "Decide they're all really hot, and really into that level of hot, and just pretty much decide they need to show off said hotness and take off all their clothes and-"
"YANG!" it was more funny because it wasn't just Ruby shouting as she seemed to finally leave her catatonia but Blake as well, who was turning red and slipping a bit lower under the table.
Sun leaned over to Yang, nuzzling, "I don't think they can deal with all the hotness…"
Yang just leaned back conspiratorially, "Seems like it… even though its hot."
"Would you two stop saying 'hot'," Blake turned to glare at her two lovers who were just childishly giggling. Though she did appreciate Sun's tail had wrapped around her waist under the table and Yang was rubbing her feet with her own. Shoes be damned!
The two across from them, and everyone else really, were just staring at the trio.
Weiss had dropped her hands to the table and while still twitching needed the support before she collapsed, her brain hurt trying to wrap around this concept, "So you're all together-together?"
All three of them turned to look at the heiress, share a look between them, then back at the white clad girl with various grins. Blake was the one to finally relax and say it flat out, "Yes Weiss, I'm dating the sexiest guy and hottest girl in school…"
The black cat momentarily squeaked as she got double teamed by the blondes, Sun now holding her around the shoulders with his head on hers and Yang latched onto her side, "Aww, she said hot!"
Amber eyes rolled at the two even if the smirk wouldn't leave her lips.
Weiss sat down, still staring and trying to process.
"Uh, correction!" they all turned down the way as Jaune stood up, a funny grin on his face, "I'M dating the hottest girl in school!"
Next to him they all noticed Pyrrha turn as red as her hair.
Being mock-offended Yang stood up, hands on her hips but there was definitely a look about her face that said she was amused, "I don't know what you're talking about Jaune! You're not part of this threesome!"
There was some more snickering between the blondes but Jaune's grin never faultered, "I wasn't talking about you," he held out his hand and while blushing Pyrrha took it, and stood up with him, squeaking as the slightly taller boy brought her close to him and held her to his chest, "I was talking about her!" he waved his hand up and down denoting Pyrrha, "I mean look at this! The gods couldn't have done better themselves in crafting this," his hand wave ended with his hand on her breast and while she turned red the champion made no move to remove it.
Funnily enough both Sun and Blake blushed at the action, while Yang, still standing, rubbed her chin and seemed to be inspecting the couple in front of her, "I have to admit, those boobs are awesome!" the comment caused several faces to go red but not being deterred Yang pulled her partner up, grabbing her from behind and squeezing her modest set tightly under her shirt, "I still have to go with these though~" her hands moving lower causing Blake to become practically neon, "Can deny these hips!"
As if seeing it as a challenge, Jaune glanced to Pyrrha, who was blushing furiously at this ridiculousness, before he held her out a bit, the hand in his up as he leaned down and pointed where her sash was tied, "Can't say no to this~" then to be an utter fool, he leaned in and rubbed his face against her waist causing the champion to turn even redder.
Seeing a place to get in on the 'fun', Blake smacked away Yang's hands and moved over to Sun, standing him up, she had one hand on his shoulder and waved the other in front of his chest, "Look at these Abs," she waved her hand, "Just look at them…"
A smirk of competition appeared on the Mystralian champion's face, as Pyrrha crossed her arms and looked down, "Jaune," her green eyes narrowed as the boy grinned up at her, "Take it off."
Without a word the leader of Team JNPR stood up and ripped off his armor and took off his hoodie.
Jaws dropped all around the room as what before them stood a hand-chiseled god! Jaune Arc, thought to be dope and bumbling idiot with nothing to his name that could be considered appealing… had an eight pack, large pecks, massive broad shoulders and well-toned arms.
Without prompting he even flexed, taking on a few poses, and Pyrrha just smugly turned back to the others.
There were several wolf-whistles and cat-calls and few people even passed out from blood loss.
Yang just laughed, going to her two, throwing her arm over Blake's shoulder and Sun's waist, "Oh FIIIIIINE you win Pyrrha," she laughed whole heartedly, "I'll still keep mine, thank you!" which she then proceeded to rub Sun's tail and leaned over to nip Blake's hidden cat ear. Both turned an interesting shade of red.
"Ya know what!" there was a loud shout from down the table next to Yang where Team CRDL sat. Cardin himself seemed to look to one side then back to the two teams in a strip competition and did the unthinkable.
He stripped.
But that wasn't all, by taking off his shirt and pants and standing in only his suave black briefs he revealed something none of them thought possible. The former bully, and definite runner for Jaune's new title of Mr. Universe, turned around, flexing his whole body and wiggled his tail?
His bright, fluffy, brown bunny tail?!
There was a squeak down the way as Velvet seemed to run up, latch on to her former tormentor and started playing with his tail.
Weirdly enough, she was the one who spoke, "You guys can have that, I will take this!"
On the other side Cardin was still flexing and now sporting a massive grin, wiggling his bunny tail.
If the threesome confession had the room silenced this definitely did.
"I'M GAY!" was shouted out in the ensuing silence. When everyone turned to look it was Russel Thrush standing up after slamming his hand on the table. With determined strides he walked back the way Velvet had come from and stood in front of her partner Yatsuhashi…
And kissed him.
More gasping.
The short mohawked boy then tugged the huge swordsman up and in flash cut off all his clothes and the silent titan was left exposed except for his fudoshi.
Russel waved at him while holding Yatsuhashi's with his other hand, "And this, this is mine!"
In the continuing silence several grins started rising.
"Ren!" suddenly on the opposite side of the Champion and Mr. Universe couple, Nora stood up, bouncy as ever and dragging her best friend with her, "Strip and show them how awesome you are!"
Magenta eyes went wide as the quiet boy prayed something would happen to prevent this.
It came in the form of Yang laughing, doubling over and needing the support of her lovers before they too joined her along with everyone else. "OH GREAT MONTY THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!"
As the laughing died down and a strange cheery atmosphere came about, the blonde brawler couldn't help but ask, "So?" she looked around, and pointedly looked at her sister who shrunk under her gaze, "Anyone else want to reveal something?"
There was a loud smack! By the door to the cafeteria followed by a yelp.
When everyone bothered to look Ozpin was standing there completely stunned while Glynda stood next to him with that neutral expression she always had…
With her hand on his ass.
Nothing needed to be said, and when that registered to everyone else they all started laughing even more.
Amidst the laughter and everyone being distracted, Ruby turned towards her partner.
Sensing this, Weiss turned towards Ruby, her icy blue eyes wide as there was something weird about the idiot's face.
With a deceptive grin the red cloaked girl jumped the white heiress and they disappeared under the table, drowned out by the cacophony of everyone talking and celebrating the various forms of love and hotness going on at Beacon.
A/N: i wanna thank Solora Goldsun for giving me a damn ship name for this OT3 of mine: Golden Eclipse :D it works, it works so well for me~ XD
Ships:
Golden Eclipse/Black Sun/Bumblebee
Arkos
Cadbury
Duel-swords (-snorts- need a better name XD)
Team Sloth
Pride and Punishment! (thank you 13th Child)
White Rose
... and i'm sure about a million going on in the background XD
btw:
Conflagration: a great fire that destroys a lot of land or property... IT BURNS BABY, BURN! :D
Review? :D
till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!
-Ikasury