Author's Note: Hi. So, this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction.
I'm sorry for any mistakes. If you have any questions or suggestions, PM me.
Reviews are appreciated:)

It was impossibly dark.

Black was the only thing she could see. It engulfed her body and wrapped around her like a blanket. The only source of light was the ethereal glow of the moon. They were the only slivers of the outside world.

The only thing that surrounded her was an impenetrable silence – which threatened too engulf her at every turn. It was like a black hole, endless and empty. It would never let her go; she was trapped in her own pain.

Not even the rhythmic, soporific ticking of the clock could break her out of her reverie. Her ears perceived nothing. She dived too deep into the filthy pool of her own thoughts and desires.

xxx

"I know you'd do anything to make it work, but it's better this way, Mer. For the both of us," he whispered, whilst looking at the floor. He was unable to look her in the eyes, too ashamed of himself.

Raindrops pattered against the windows and suddenly, for just a moment, a streak of lightning bathed the living room in a harsh, unforgiving light. The cold wind whistled through the slightly open balcony door and grazed their bodies sending chills. Neither of them paid any mind to their surroundings, despite the outcry of their physiology against the harsh cold.

Meredith just stood there, unwilling to utter a word.

She still couldn't believe it; she thought that she found the love of her life, but she was wrong – so utterly wrong.

She clenched her fists and bit her lip, fighting back tears. She wouldn't break in front of him, or anyone at all for that matter.

Her mother might be selfish and heartless, but she still taught her daughter to always be strong.

Meredith could feel the tears building in her eyes, despite her efforts.

Damn.

"Mer," he tried again.

Derek now had his gaze fixed on her and tears were glistening in his eyes, but he tried to keep them back as not to make matters worse. After all, he was the one who broke her heart.

She was still staring at him, a gleam of disbelief and sadness among her face.

Her green eyes – that were usually bright and warm – were now only a shell.

The two of them have already been through so much and now Meredith looked to be lost and broken.

Derek had never seen her this way before. It hurt him to have to break her – to leave her alone. He consoled himself in knowing that this was his only chance if he ever wanted to become a better surgeon.

After his father died, he made a promise to himself that he would become a neurosurgeon to care for his family and Meredith.

But…Was he like Ellis?

Could Meredith cope with another loved one choosing his career over her?

Was his career more important to him than Meredith?

He knew that staying with her wasn't an option. The job was demanding and he needed to be able to focus on it. No, he didn't want to be like Ellis. He had to leave Meredith.

"Meredith, say something, please," he begged, walking a few steps toward her and gently touching her hand's smooth skin to coax her out of her own sad, twisted world and back into the realm of reality.

She quickly jerked back as if his soft touch triggered a sharp pain inside of her.

Derek dropped his hand and swallowed hard when he noticed the change in her face. The sadness that had clearly dominated her delicate features just a few seconds earlier was now replaced with a blank stare, but Derek could see the icy anger entrapped beneath.

The wind, which seemed to be getting stronger, had not made him shiver, but instead it was the expressionless look that accompanied her facial expressions. That look seemed to stop any circulation his body could ever hope to produce, freezing the red liquid that kept his body alive, frozen. Delayed.

"You're right," she said, her voice giving nothing away.

She walked over to the balcony door and closed it, while saying, "It's better this way, for both of us, as you said." Her voice trembled slightly, but she played it down with a loud cough.

"I guess you have to get a lot of things done." It was not merely a question – rather a statement.

Meredith turned back and headed for the small, messy, glass coffee table where books, papers and pencils claimed its surface. She sat down on the comfortable couch and sunk into the cushions. Her bare toes were curling into the carpet digging up small fibers in its wake.

He sighed and ran his right hand through his dark curls, but didn't dare try and approach her. He knew she was in a fragile state, both mentally and emotionally.

"I honestly didn't think they'd pick me," he said trying to defend himself, but he knew how pathetic he sounded.

"Just leave it, Derek, just leave it," she hissed angrily.

Derek took a deep breath and sat down beside her with caution, "I love you Mer—"

She interrupted him and brought her face close against his own. So close, that their noses were almost touching. "Stop saying that! Okay? You want to go? Go! It's your decision."

"Had I known—" he started.

She didn't let him finish his sentence. "If you had known that Mount Sinai would have picked you, you'd have done it again, and I know that."

He was silent for some time and continued looking deep into her green orbs searching for something before he started on his pleas once again.

"The opportunity is just so..." he sighed, "It's too good to be true, Mer. I've always wanted to be a neurosurgeon, and the program is one of the best."

She lowered her eyes and played with her leather watchband. "It has always been your dream. Your Dad always knew that you would become a surgeon."

At the thought of Derek's dad, even for a brief fleeting moment, a sad smile played on her plump lips.

Meredith no longer wanted to argue with him. She just wanted him to stay, and forget everything she had said in the last few hours.

Derek was her anchor, her soul mate. If she hadn't had him or his family, her childhood would have probably been even worse than it had. Derek was her first love, her everything.

She knew that Derek only wanted the best for her, but it hurt her soul just to think of letting him go. She would have given anything to maintain the relationship, but she also knew that they would have grown apart eventually. With him being in New York, working as an intern and her being in Charleston, going to college, things wouldn't work out as much as she hoped and desired.

"Hmm, he did," he nodded, "I know that I can't be here for you, the way I want to be. You deserve better. I can't make it work, even if I want to."

He gently lifted her chin with his index finger, "I love you, but you deserve someone who will always be there for you and who cares about you. I wish I could be that person. But I can't make you happy. Not with the job or the long distance... It's just too much."

Meredith wanted him to stop talking. She knew that there was no way to dissuade him from his decision. If Derek made up his mind about something, there was no way to talk him out of it.

In two days, he would go to New York, leaving everything behind. His family, his friends. Her.

He was starting fresh, without her by his side.

She pushed these thoughts aside as the urgent need to be close to him, for one last time, came over her in a large wave.

Buttons flew, clothes landed on the ground, and for them, there was nothing more important than the desire to show their love to each other.

After their passion subsided, she felt safe in his strong, warm arms. It was time for him to go.

For several minutes, she looked at his relaxed facial features forcing herself not to cry. She mentally traced every curve of his jawline, the eyelashes lying delicately across his skin, and his curly hair plastered upon his sweat-covered forehead.

"I love you," she whispered and kissed him gently for possibly the last time.

Meredith re-dressed herself, packed her things, and then she was out of there.

xxx

Meredith hadn't noticed, how droplets of water started to fall down her cheeks, like a never-ending waterfall. She curled up on her bed and let the pain of losing him wash over her.

She was alone.

After college, she would leave Charleston Forever. Perhaps she'd even end up moving to a completely different country. Meredith knew she had to leave her home, the city where she lived all her life if she wanted to move on.

But life had other plans.