There was a beat of silence. A collective intake of breath as Servants and Masters felt tension well up in their bodies. Weapons were slowly drawn, steady and firm, and magic circuits opened as the two young Masters reinforced their bodies. Lancer's eye began to glow, expressionless and hard like the steel of a blade.

Then the battle begun in an explosion of movement. Rin leapt into a side alley out of the line of fire as Archer made distance between himself and the mid-range Servant, electricity coiling up his arms as he shot two great sizzling bolts of lightning at Lancer. Lancer shot forward with impossible speed, kicking up a cloud of dust as he shot himself past Archer's attacks. Saber intercepted him, her invisible blade clashing with his golden lance and deflecting it to the side. Her heels dug into the concrete beneath her as the force of her opponent's blow, even if it had been parried rather than blocked, pushed her backwards.

Shirou stood still for a second, his distortion and desire to be a hero at war with the reality that he could not possibly do anything to help in this conflict. His eyes examined the weapon in Lancer's hands as it was thrust forward again and again, at least a half dozen times that Shirou could actually see, but his mind could not grasp the concept of its creation. Deciding that he wouldn't be able to help by jumping into the fray himself, Shirou rushed into an alley that happened to be across from the one Rin was currently taking shelter in, ducking behind a dumpster and making sure to position himself in such a way that he could watch the battle unfold. He had to think of some way to help.

Saber grimaced as she parried another jab from Lancer's weapon, the flurry of stabs ceaseless, with each thrust coming so quickly that Saber felt like she was parrying three attacks at once. With every clash of blades she lost ground, and she had been unable to get within range to retaliate. Despite the invisibility of her blade, Lancer had found a safe distance to attack from, continuing his flurry of stabs to whittle down his opponent's defenses and keep her on the back foot. Within the span of a single breath, four strikes were sent flying, and before the next breath could start another thrust was already on its way. He would've pressed his advantage, pushing Saber further and further back, keeping her on the retreat and preventing her from establishing a good balance had it not been for Archer's support.

Archer stood a distance away from the battle, hurling electricity seemingly at random. However, what Archer lacked in combat experience he made up for in sheer intelligence. Each bolt of electricity was expertly aimed to halt Lancer's advance and limit his movement. The ground beneath Lancer's feet was made uneven, making it easier for the white haired Servant to trip up. Occasionally Archer would shoot a bolt at Lancer's weapon, changing its trajectory and causing an otherwise disarming blow to be sent astray.

Still, Lancer was incredibly skilled, quickly adapting to the changing terrain while still attacking Saber with the cold ferocity of a shredder. He kept Saber back while observing the entirety of the battlefield with a critical eye, looking for even a single opening. A moment of pause in the thunderstorm that was Archer and a single misstep on Saber's part. He was waiting with the patience of a hunter as they lay in wait for their quarry...and there it was.

Archer could not fire off lightning continuously, like a gunner had to stop to reload, so too did he have to stop to pull electricity out of the air to power his attacks. And in that instant another jab was sent Saber's way, forcing her to step back as she deflected yet another blow. In that split second that her foot was off the ground Lancer's eye lit with flames. Only a minute into the battle, and already a fatal mistake was made.

"Brahmastra."

With a single word the tide of the battle was tipped in his favor. A great beam of fire burst from Lancer's eye and collided with Saber, who, with one foot off the ground, was not able to move fast enough to dodge the attack. Saber was thrown backwards and through a nearby building, a textile shop with little stuffed bears on display, which then proceeded to collapse, kicking up a great cloud of debris obscuring the knight from view. Lancer shot towards Archer, ducking beneath a lightning strike as he prepared to drive his lance into Archer's chest. Archer exploded into a shower of gold sparks as the lance pierced his flesh.

Lancer wouldn't fall for the same trick twice.

Archer dove clumsily to the side as his position behind the heterochromatic Servant was found out, only just avoiding a strike from the "gaudy outdated thing", as Hari had described it. Archer had known that the death of a Servant was typically accompanied by them fading away or breaking into golden particles. By going into astral form and firing off small sparks of electricity, he could imitate the effect, however, it seemed that Lancer had gotten savvy to his little illusion.

Archer rolled to avoid another strike, wrapping a hand around the shaft of his opponent's lance in what could've been one last desperate attack. Electricity coursed up the shaft of the weapon, and in a brilliant flash, Lancer was sent flying back, his hand blackened and his hair standing on end. Archer looked at the weapon still in hand with a small smirk. "Well won't you look at that? Though I doubt he'll let me get close enough to do that a second time."

Archer stood up and tugged at the lance, trying to pull it from where it had embedded itself in the concrete and failing with each attempt. Finally giving up, Archer straightened out his suit, he still refused to be seen in anything less than a suit and tie, and walked backwards away from Lancer's slowly rising form.

"You can have that back, seeing as it belongs to you. I have never been one for such traditional weaponry myself, or weaponry of any kind really. Besides, I believe it complements your attire much better than mine anyways. Where did you get that cape, if you do not mind me asking? I think I may have seen something like it once in the hands of a traveling merchant from India. Though yours is much-"

Archer was cut off as Lancer shot a laser beam at him from afar, forcing the well-dressed Servant to trip over his own feet as he stumbled to avoid the blast. He regained his balance, looking rather disgruntled. "That was rude. You know-"

"EXCALIBUR!"

A golden light shot from out of the rubble of the fallen textile shop, carving through the concrete between it and the Lancer before impacting with his form, lightly burning the Servant's exposed flesh until the light faded. Still, he looked more than prepared to fight, even if his was leaning a bit heavily on one side now. Saber herself had seen better days, soot and dust covered her previously peerless armor, her form covered in bruises and burns. Still, her now revealed blade gleamed like the sun, casting long shadows over the battlefield.

Archer rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Are we all going to start shooting lasers at each other now? I'm starting to feel a little underpowered."

Lancer ran forward in a blur, pulling his weapon from the ground effortlessly as his eye glowed with barely restrained power, Saber meeting him halfway, their weapons clashing in a shower of sparks. They separated, then collided again. With each clash the sky ignited and the air shook with the rage of an angry god. It would be their sixth collision that ended the fight.

From atop a nearby building that Shirou had climbed during the confrontation, said teen bit his lip in concentration. A spear, a simple one made entirely of metal with no hope of standing up to a Noble Phantasm, took form in his hand alongside a similarly simple bow. All of his prana went to reinforcing his eyes, and he felt them ache from the strain, his head beginning to hurt from the strain, his brain not meant to be able to process the images his eyes could now observe.

Lancer's weapon was big and gaudy, with a large triangle-shaped end that dominated half its length. Where the blade met the shaft a decoration resembling the sun stood prominently, though it could easily be overlooked due to the sheer size of the lance's blade. There, almost unnoticeable was a small opening, an empty space meant to show off a small spiral decoration. A small throwaway detail that would prove to be a critical flaw in the weapon's design.

Lancer jabbed his weapon forward, a brief millisecond of pause as Lancer had to stop his weapon's momentum, momentarily surprised that Saber avoided the attack rather than parry as she had been, and in that millisecond Shirou let his projected spear soar. Lancer didn't notice the projectile until it had already lodged itself inside the thin space found where the blade and the shaft of his weapon met, holding it in place as the spear dug itself into the ground. It would be easily broken however.

The plan wasn't to hold Lancer in place, however.

Shirou stood up and shouted, calling the attention of every combatant. "Electric guy! Now!"

Archer instantly understood, being the genius that he was, and thrust his hand forward. Electricity coursed through the air, traveling without the aid of wires and impacted with the spear, causing it to burn red as electricity coursed up its length, then up Lancer's own weapon and into his body. Lancer shook erratically as an unprecedented amount of electricity coursed through his body, burning him to the very bone. He glared at Archer through the pain, his eye glowing as he prepared to fire.

A rock collided with his head without any warning. Saber was smart enough to know that striking the now electrically charged Lancer with her armored fists or her sword was a bad idea, so she grabbed a piece of debris and hurled it at the Servant, causing his head to tilt forward as he fired his laser. It impacted with the ground, kicking up dust obscuring Lancer from view.

When the dust faded Lancer could be seen standing upright, hand clutching his weapon with his white skin and hair now charred black. Then he fell, dissolving into gold particles before he even hit the ground.

Rin blinked as she came out of hiding, unable to disguise her bafflement at the events. Shirou grinned as he collapsed in exhaustion, laughing the laughter of a man sentenced to death by firing squad only to have every rifle misfire. Saber couldn't help but share her Master's high, and she grinned despite herself. Archer turned towards his Master and smiled politely.

"Well, that was quite an eventful evening. Perhaps next time we have dinner at home instead."

"Say ahh..."

"Ahh..."

Avenger watched as Hari spoon fed the purple haired Caster chicken noodle soup, an odd grin on his face that anyone else would've called loving but Avenger knew to actually be the smile of pure evil. No one else could make such an innocent look seem so frightening. And though those not in the know may be fooled, any who were knew that that smile promised pain. Perhaps not today, perhaps not tomorrow, but pain would come. No one else could convey such utter...trollness in a single smile.

Somewhere Zelretch sneezed.

Letting out a long suffering sigh, Avenger rubber end her fingers into her temples. "You do realize that she is a Servant right? She doesn't need to eat to regain her strength. All she needs is prana."

Hari looked at his original Servant out of the corner of his eye and smirked. "Aw...I'm sorry Friend-chan. I didn't mean to exclude you. Here. Try some!" Pulling another spoon out of who knows where, Hari scooped up a spoon full of chicken noodle soup and then proceeded to shove it into Avenger's mouth.

Avenger's eyes widened and began to water. "GODS DAMNIT HARI! IT BURNS! WHY, HARI, WHY!? WHY ALWAYS WITH THE FIRE IN THE MOUTH!"

Hari threw his head back and let out a delighted laugh as he held his sides with his hands. Caster watched in a sort of stunned silence from where she lay in the impromptu hospital bed as she watched her new Master laugh so...childishly. It was odd. Their eyes met, and Hari's laughter momentarily paused to allow him to smirk, holding up the new spoon he had pulled out for Caster to see. It looked normal enough, though the surface looked sticky, and it seemed to have been sprinkled with...

"Is that chili powder?" Caster ventured.

Hari nodded his head once, then burst out laughing again. Caster smiled despite herself. Then she giggled. Then she too found herself laughing a laugh that reverberated off of the windowless concrete walls. She hadn't noticed that Hari's own laughter had died down until after she herself had managed to calm herself. Hari was staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face, a stark contrast to his previous manic glee. Now his features resembled a statue, hard and cold. Then the stone broke and a wide cheshire cat grin split his face in two.

"You know..." Hari leaned in, and Caster could feel his hot breath on her face. His eyes held within them no lust, but instead a sort of wonder, like a child seeing a flower bloom for the first time. "I think you and I will get along just fine, darling~"

Hari shot forward and pecked Caster on the cheek before popping back upright and hopping backwards. Caster blushed a deep red, unsure what to even think about the contact. On one hand, she had only just been freed from a sexually abusive Master and by all means should've been cringing away from any remotely sexual advance. However, she just could not compare the eccentric boy in front of her, so full of wonder and joy, with the disgusting pig who had been her prior Master. This boy saved her, nursed her back to health, and was trying to pursue a relationship in a way that would've fit well in primary school. It was teasing and childish, yet she couldn't help but think it fit the boy quite well.

Caster smiled at her new Master, purposefully trying to emulate a blushing bride. "Oh honey, stop~" she swatted her hand at him playfully. "You are making me blush."

Before Hari could continue the dialogue, the sound of gagging could be heard.

Avenger doubled over as she clutched her stomach in pain. "Gods...that is disgusting...what is this, a rom com? Blech."

Hari and Caster watched Avenger's dramatics for a moment, before turning towards each other and breaking into a fit of giggles.

After calming down somewhat, Hari waved his hand and began to walk out of the concrete room. "I better get back before I'm missed. Don't want the others to get suspicious now. Avenger, you watch over my cutie while she recovers. Cutie, you focus on getting yourself back up to full strength." And with that Hari strolled out of the hidden bunker. Then he smirked.

"And all of you..."

A couple dozen individuals stepped into Hari's line of sight. They wore several layers of clothing, not leaving an inch of skin exposed. They looked like delinquents with their hoodies, gloves and scuffed jeans. However, what stood out most were the yellow masks they wore, each with a simplistic drawing of a face with a wide 'u' shaped grin.

"Stay hidden, but stay together, and stay in the area. Alter Ego will fetch you all later." Here Hari paused, turning away from the group purposefully for dramatic effect. He smirked over his shoulder. "You all will be going on a little shopping trip."

Ilya pouted. She had missed it. The first battle of the war, her chance to etch some fear into the other Master's hearts, and she had missed it. The victorious Master's had left, and together at that. An alliance. How annoying, oh well. They were no match for Berserker, so she'd deal with them later.

"Hello miss. May I interest you in a complementary button?"

Ilya turned towards the speaker, only just keeping herself and Berserker from lashing out at them. It was an elderly man, wrinkled with thinning grey hair and big round glasses, pushing a cart decorated with a variety of items. Balloons, stamps, postcards, and the aforementioned buttons. The man held out his hand, a wide toothy grin on his face. "Well?"

Ilya paused, focusing her sixth sense to try to detect any form of magecraft that could possibly be in use. Sensing none, Ilya reached out her own hand, holding it palm up as she smiled her best little girl smile. The old man dropped a small button in her hand, round and yellow with a simple smile drawn onto it. "Never forget to smile little lady." And with those parting words the man began to hobble away.

Ilya waved as he left. "Thank you mister! I won't forget!" Once the man was out of sight, Ilya looked at the button in her hand. Shrugging, she pinned it onto the breast of her dress before continuing her way.

She didn't notice the sound of giggling.

Sakura hummed as she cooked dinner that night. Grandfather had left her alone for the most part, apparently more focused on watching the events of the war through his familiars, and Rider had done well to discourage Shinji from bothering her. Overall, things had been going well for Sakura. Oh yes, she'd have to fight in the war eventually, but for now she was content to wait. She'd follow her otōutō's lead, and would not reveal herself until necessary. Or until Hari told her to. Whichever came first.

Sakura opened a cabinet directly overhead to get some plates to serve that evening's meals on. To her surprise, the dishes were not the only things there. Sitting innocuously on the self was a small black box, the size of a shoebox, with a yellow sticky note stuck on it. Rider reached up and grabbed the box before her Master, worried that the box could be a trap.

"Rider, could you please hand me the note."

Rider observed the piece of paper carefully before nodding silently, handing the note over. It read:

"Hi big sis! Things are going well. I heard you summoned dominatrix! I'm so worried...please tell your otōutō that she didn't...you know...oh I can't even imagine it! If that dominatrix even tries to touch you I'll be there right away! Oh! This box is special! You'll need it later, so don't open it until it is time. Trust me. You'll know. Have a nice day big sis! And tell the dominatrix 'I'm watching.' ;)"

AN: First, a big thanks to my beta greysongarr. Without him that fight scene at the beginning of this chapter would have sucked.

Now, what happened...oh yes! Lancer is dead. Lancer's main purpose had been to provide a big bad to force Rin and Shirou to team up, and there were no plans for him beyond that so...yeah. He's dead.

There was also a bit of set up at the end for Ilya and Sakura. Hari and Rider are going to have an... interesting relationship. Hehehe...

Who are the people in the smiley-faced masks? Where did they come from and why are they following Hari's orders? That will be explained in depth in a later chapter, though I think the connection to Alter Ego is pretty obvious. Prepare, next chapter will have a shopping spree of epic proportions! Mwuahahahahaha!

Don't forget, mortals, to pray (review) and smile! :)