Prologue.

It all began with a coffee mug – or at least Alex knew that was how everything began for them. Not that it was the coffee mug itself, though. It was the fact that said coffee mug now lay shattered on the floor of the kitchenette in the 16th precinct after Alex had dropped it. And, sadly, "dropped" was an understatement. Dropping a coffee mug wouldn't have been a big deal. It happened to a lot of people, and as long as they cleaned up after themselves, no one really cared about it. Unfortunately, in Alex's case, it was more than that. Much more - especially because Olivia, Elliot and Captain Cragen had seen her and were now staring at her. But no, that itself wasn't the problematic part either.

Eventually, how they found out that something was wrong wasn't because of the coffee mug itself. It was because Alex had let go of it while swirling around and pushing Olivia aside – Olivia, who had before gently and innocently placed a hand on Alex's side to guide her a few inches to the left so she could open the drawer Alex was partially blocking with her body. And now she was just standing there, staring at Olivia with panicky eyes, shaking and trembling and holding her breath because she knew if she allowed herself to breathe, she would hyperventilate or start sobbing uncontrollably, or maybe even both. And she just couldn't let that happen. Not here. Not with everyone watching! Alex bit her lip so hard it drew blood, but she didn't care. She kept her eyes locked to the floor, and when she stared at the pool of coffee getting bigger and bigger, for a brief moment, it felt like everything was over.

Suddenly, a harsh "There's nothing to see here, go back to work!" tore her out of her thoughts. Alex looked up briefly, shocked to see that a small crowd of people had gathered around her and was curiously staring at the scene. Luckily, Cragen's order was enough to send them all back to their desks – even Elliot had left, although he had already been there when it had happened, instinctively knowing that there was nothing he could do right now. Alex opened her mouth to say something, but then realized she didn't know what to say, which scared her even more. After all, ADA Alexandra Cabot, made a living of talking. Of convincing people that the evidence she had just presented them with was conclusive and sufficient for a conviction. But sadly, she knew that there was nothing in the world she could say right now that would get her out of this. However, before she could even try, Cragen spoke again, and this time, what he said was addressed to her."Why don't you just take the rest of the day off?" It wasn't a suggestion, and although technically, Cragen wasn't her superior and therefore didn't have the authority to issue any orders, Alex knew the only thing she could do right now was run.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Olivia was about to follow her, and once again, Cragen put his foot down: "Let her go". Alex let out an involuntary but grateful sigh. This would only postpone their confrontation until after Olivia's shift, but at least it would buy her some time. Time she desperately needed to get her story straight – because she knew that the truth wasn't an option.