Hey...it's me. Yep, I'm still here. I know it's been a minute. I know I haven't updated for way too long. But I've just been dealing with an enormous writer's block over the last couple of months. Writing used to be so easy back in university...I would always come back home and just start to write. And I would write all evening and night long. But nowadays with leaving the house at 6.30am and coming home by 8pm and with working in front of a computer all day, there's no creativity or motivation left in me to write in the evening. It's something that bothers me but I can't really change it right now, so I've had to learn to accept that I can't force myself to write, even though I wish I could just sit down and write around 5.000 words a night. Like I used to.

So it takes weeks and months to update. Which bothers me as well. But I'm still determined to finish this story in style. Because what would bother me even more is leaving this story unfinished. So here is chapter 100...

100. Two, Three, Five

″This doesn't look like the typical bump that I get to see at an ultrasound that should actually confirm a pregnancy,″ Dr. Hanson said with a smile when Erin laid down on the examination table after a night that had been filled with anxiety, nightmares and doubts, pulling her shirt up and her jeans down to reveal her little Baby bump. ″How far along do you think you are? Around 13 to 15 weeks?″

″I should be 13 early next week,″ Erin answered the question, her hand reaching for Jay's and squeezing it anxiously. ″We uhm...we didn't want to come in before being through the first trimester because...we thought I would lose it anyway. Of course it could still be...it could still be dead now but...″ she rambled, her lips trembling no matter how hard she tried to keep her emotions under control.

″Erin,″ Dr. Hanson calmed her down with her soft voice. ″From the outside it looks pretty positive.″

″I'm just...I'm just scared that I made it thus far without obviously miscarrying but that the baby probably died within the last couple of days,″ she explained her fears without really voicing her concerns that she felt something wasn't the way it should be.

″I understand your fears, Erin, I really do. But before you get all worked up about it, let's just take a look, okay?″

″Okay,″ Erin nodded, inhaling a deep breath.

Dr. Hanson put the cold ultrasound gel on her belly and pressed the wand onto her rounded abdomen to disperse it, Erin's eyes following the wand closely. She never dared to look at the screen. Instead, she turned her head away from her baby bump into the opposite direction of the screen and she closed her eyes to hide the tears that were looming in them.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't handle not seeing a heartbeat. She couldn't handle seeing the baby before she knew it was okay because in case it was dead, it would be too much for her heart to take.

″Erin, look,″ Jay said, motioning his head to the screen, and opening her eyes slowly and seeing his soft, encouraging smile was enough for her to turn her head around as well to cast a glance on the black-and-white screen.

But before her eyes could fall on the screen, they fell on Dr. Hanson for just the split of a second, and she saw exactly what she'd expected to see, what she'd feared to see: her doctor frowning and her gaze a little anxious, not like it should be, not like it would be if everything was fine. In this moment she was sure to know what was about to follow and it felt like her body was shutting down on every level to protect herself from the heartbreak she expected.

Tears were brimming in her eyes as she voiced ever so quiet and devastated: ″No. No. Please just tell me our baby is alright...please...″

She felt taken back in time, felt herself hyperventilate as the universe collided above her, just like it had all those months back when the doctor-on-call in this fateful night in April had told them that she'd had a miscarriage and that the baby was gone. And now the story was about to repeat itself and they could only blame themselves for it. Because they hadn't been careful enough with contracepting. They had given their bodies the allowance to create another little miracle all those weeks back in Iceland. A miracle that hasn't had a chance to surive from the very beginning, that has been doomed to die from moment they'd conceived it. And still, against better judgement, they've started to bond with this child, to connect with it.

Have given it a nickname.

Little nugget.

Soon another star on the night sky.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″So, are we really going to believe Jay and Erin are at a doctor's appointment for her dislocated or contused or whatever shoulder?″ Adam asked casually, taking an extra big bite from his deep dish pizza that they'd ordered for lunch. Thanks to this Friday being particularly low and endlessly boring, they'd been able to order the best deep dish pizza in town and could now fill their stomachs with something better than the usual liters of coffee and tons of sandwiches and chocolate bars to go that they usually filled them with throughout the day. But just when they'd earlier suggested to order Chicago's most famous dish for lunch, Jay and Erin had announced that she had a doctor's appointment to get her injured shoulder checked again and that Jay would use his lunch break to go with her instead of feasting with their colleagues.

″Why shouldn't we?″ Kevin frowned. ″This accident with Crispin in the park happened weeks ago, so this could be her last appointment and her doctor finally puts her back on full duty now.″

″No no no,″ Adam said quickly, his mouth almost too full to speak, making it quite the challenge for his colleagues to understand him. ″First of all will no doctor put her on full duty in her current condition and second of all was that shoulder never injured to begin with. And we all know that, don't we?″

″What are you talking about, man?″ Mouse asked and put the piece of his pizza aside, being visibly confused about Adam alleging their colleague to fake an injury and make up some story about an accident in the park.

″Come on guys, you haven't noticed?″ Adam asked in disbelief, looking from Mouse to Antonio, Kevin and Al. And while Mouse and Kevin seemed to be completely clueless and oblivious to the observations he's made, he could see in Antonio's and Al's faces that they knew exactly what he was talking about.

″Noticed what?″ Mouse frowned.

″You out of all people should've noticed it, bro,″ Adam chuckled. ″You've been working together with her more than any of us for weeks now and you haven't noticed how she regularly pays the restroom a visit? How her facial color resembles a ghost in the mornings? How she's eating saltines and clementines all day long? How she avoided alcohol when we were out in Molly's the other night? How Jay always seems to be more concerned than before? And how her stomach doesn't look all flat anymore even though she's trying to hide it with that sling and wider clothes? She's pregnant, man. You've noticed it, too, right?″ he glanced at Al and Antonio expectantly while Mouse's jaw dropped open as Adam adduced reasons why Erin's shoulder was anything but injured and her desk duty had an entire different reason than what she'd convincingly told them.

″Yeah, it's pretty obvious,″ Antonio agreed with a nod of his head.

″What? Noooo,″ Kevin exclaimed in disbelief. ″According to you she's showing already, which I can neither confirm not deny because it's not something I pay attention to. But it would mean she's been pregnant for a while already and then not telling us?!″

″Can you blame them?″ Al asked from behind his desk, as always not taking part in his younger colleagues unhealthy fast food feast but instead peeling his orange with relish.

″You knew, too?″ Mouse asked and if it wasn't for Kevin having no clue as well, he would seriously wonder on which day he'd missed something major like that.

″Wasn't that big of a challenge,″ Al shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

″Why didn't any of you guys say anything? I thought we were bros?″ Kevin asked.

″Because it's none of our business and they have their reasons to keep it a secret,″ Hank's voice appeared loud and clear from the doorframe of his office, all of their heads turning around instantly and they all couldn't help but wonder how long their boss has already been standing there in silence and unnoticed by them, listening to their conversation about a topic that was actually none of their business. Yet, in some other way as they were a family, it of course was.

″So did they tell you, boss?″ Adam asked bluntly.

″They didn't and as long as they don't mention it, we won't either,″ he answered the young officer's question. ″I just made the same observations that you made though I'm honestly surprised you figured it out,″ he told Adam, Hank's glance causing him to gulp nervously. ″Maybe you're ready for being a Detective after all,″ he added with a small smirk and then disappeared into his office again without saying anything else.

″Congrats Ruze,″ Antonio laughed. ″Seems like after five years you finally managed to convince your boss that you're smart enough to be a Detective.″

″And it didn't even require to solve some complicated case. Impressive,″ Al mentioned all dry from his desk where he was comfortably leaning back in his chair, causing them all to laugh even more.

″Thanks, I know I'm brilliant,″ Adam joked and the the following hour was used for more joking and teasing and discussing while filing some reports and do paperwork that's been stacked at their desks for weeks because Erin'd refused to do all the mountains of paperwork they haven't done in forever and so she's only been doing all the stuff from their current cases. Which gave them the chance to catch up on all the old paperwork but of course they were putting it off for as long as they could. They were simply not made for working with pens and paper and every distraction was always very welcome and appreciated.

″Is it a good or a bad sign that they left over two hours ago?″ Mouse asked at some point, looking at them from behind his computer.

″Generally speaking: appointments that take longer than you would expect them to take are seldomly good signs,″ Antonio noticed the obvious. They were all getting nervous because regarding this certain situation, no news and them still not being back rather meant bad news than good news. And Jay and Erin didn't deserve any more bad news and going through another phase of grief and heartbreak. Only within the last couple of weeks they've all realized that the two of them had really moved on from this traumatic event in April and now the chances were high that they would soon have to start from scratch again.

″So you think the doctor probably had to deliver them bad news?″ Adam concluded, chewing on his pencil.

″With Erin's condition unfortunately everything is possible. That's why I'm surprised they even decided to try again,″ Antonio shrugged. ″The longer they stay away, the less I think we'll see them again today,″ he put into words what everyone was thinking but no one dared to say – fate screwing Erin and Jay over once again.

″Jay would call,″ Kevin mentioned, trying to stay positive. ″He would tell us that they both won't come in again today.″

″For sure not the first thing on his mind, huh?″ Al asked. ″So how about we all just do our jobs and stop speculating about something we don't even know and just wait and see? There's nothing we can do for them right now.″

″Yeah,″ everyone grumbled unanimously and dedicated their attention back to the unloved and headache-causing paperwork they still had plenty of.

Their thoughts however, were with Erin and Jay and the possible tragedy that lay ahead.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

At some point, no one expected them to join them again anymore and they were all coming to their own but same conclusions as to why they stayed away and most likely seeked solace in the isolation of their home instead of returning to the bullpen. So the last thing they expected were Erin and Jay appearing on the top of the stairs after being gone for over three hours, their hands intertwined, Erin's arm still in a sling and the two of them looking rather rattled and pale than overjoyed and happy.

″That was quite a marathon doctor's appointment, huh?″ Adam welcomed them, acting like he had no clue at all, and motioned his head to her arm. The fact that she was still carrying it in a sling confused them all. Maybe they had it all wrong and there has never been a pregnancy after all?

″Uhm, yeah, that was quite something,″ Erin breathed out and forced a nervous smile.

″So how's that shoulder doing?″ Antonio asked.

″The shoulder is just fine...″ she answered meaningfully, biting her lip with her teeth and no later than now they all had the slight suspicion that the outcome of the appointment might not have been as bad as they'd expected.

″This means you come back out with us, Linds?″ Kevin joined their conversation.

″Uhm...no,″ she shook her head, not giving them any further details.

″But we miss ya all out there and you just said the shoulder's fine. So why not?″ Kevin dug deeper, his voice sounding indeed a little sad.

″Well,″ she breathed out, locking eyes with Jay for a brief moment as if they were to share some major news. ″Mostly because my shoulder was never injured,″ she confirmed what everyone has already known with a weak smile and lifted her arm out of the sling and the white thing over her head, placing it on some desk close by. ″And sometimes...″ she added with yet another shy smile and pulled her pullover up so her slightly rounded middle, covered with a tight white top, was revealed. ″...things are different than they seem.″ Her smile grew bigger as she ran her hand over her stomach and proudly showed them her obvious baby bump and they all let out breaths of relief as they realized that this unique family they were would soon welcome another member to its tribe, that there were only reasons to celebrate today and not to grieve.

″I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!″ Adam was the first to cheer, grinning like a Chesire Cat and obviously feeling like a king. ″Congratulations!″

″You knew?″ Erin asked her younger colleague in disbelief and gazing around, she quickly figured that those big news didn't surprise anyone. ″You all knew,″ she then more stated than asked, her eyes falling on her father figure, who was leaning in the doorway and giving her a small but genuine smile.

″We did,″ Antonio confirmed with an apologetic smile. ″We kinda figured it out ourselves. And we're so, so, so happy for you guys,″ he added and pulled the still only female cop of their unit into a hug.

″Over the moon happy,″ Adam smirked and hugged them both enthusiastically as well, everyone else doing the same over the span of the next few minutes as they congratulated the couple for this sweetest of life-changing events.

Hank was then the last of them to wrap his arms around his pseudo-daughter. ″Congrats kiddo,″ he murmured into her ear as he hugged her tightly. ″I can't believe you guys decided to risk that but I'm so happy for you.″

″It wasn't a decision we made,″ Erin answered honestly as they ended their embrace, her cheeks blushing a little as she basically confirmed that they'd been not careful enough to prevent another pregnancy. ″It just happened and I can't help but think that it was meant to be this way. I'm sorry for not telling you earlier...″

″Hey, there's nothing you have to be sorry for, kid. You had your reasons to keep it for yourself and don't let anyone know,″ he smiled, looking down at her small bump. ″What's that even? Five months?″

″No,″ Erin chuckled in response, everyone now listening to what she had to say as the conversations subsided. ″Just 13 weeks. But showing faster after a first full-term pregnancy is supposed to be the normal process, so I try to believe that.″

″Yeah, that's how it usually goes,″ Jay said, a mischievous smirk playing around his lips. ″But there's one detail we left out,″ he announced, making a dramatic pause. ″Since having one baby wasn't enough of a challenge, we double the fun this time,″ he said casually.

″What does that mean?″ Adam frowned instantly. Probably becoming a Detective wouldn't come so soon after all.

″It's two,″ Jay answered, his grin stretching from one ear to the other as he wrapped his arms around his wife from behind and placed his hands on Erin's stomach.

″Two what?″

″Potatoes,″ Erin answered all dry. ″Probably tomatoes. Damn Adam,″ she laughed. ″It's twins in there. Jay knocked me up with two babies.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Erin!″ Her doctor's emphatic voice managed to interrupt her dark and drowning and all-invading thoughts and she wondered how many times Dr. Hanson had called her name before finally getting through to her. ″Everything is alright,″ she assured her instantly before Erin would pass out.

Naturally, Erin's head snapped back to her doctor and the older woman had her full attention from one second to the other. ″What?″ Erin uttered quietly, wiping her tears away with the hand Jay wasn't holding, the other one still frantically holding onto him, her grip probably keeping the blood from running through his veins. She could literally feel his pulse reaching unhealthy levels and she knew he was a complete mess inwardly as well, keeping it together for her sake and so he seemed to be completely in control from the outside, like he wasn't worried sick. ″But...but I saw your face...and...″

″I just had to double check something because I honestly couldn't believe my eyes,″ she smiled faintly, her voice soothing. ″But just listen and take a look.″

She pressed a button on her key pad and suddenly there it was: the sound they'd thought they would never hear again, the sound that was the answer to their dreams and hopes, the sound that let every tear of sorrow dry and let instead tears of overwhelming joy spring into their eyes, the sound that made their world alright and healed their hearts in a way they had never expected, they had never thought was possible. Whoosh-whoosh. A simple sound, yet a synonym for the greatest miracle that nature had to provide.

″That is one steady, healthy heartbeat,″ Dr. Hanson commented after giving the couple, that was oblivious to the news that were about to follow, some time to enjoy this very special moment as they watched their baby on the screen and listened to the beating of its heart for the very first time.

″Oh my god, look at that,″ Erin smiled the brightest she has smiled in as many months as she turned her head back to Jay, her husband smiling just as bright, unshed tears sparkling in his ocean blue eyes as well. In this very moment, they only had eyes for each other as they took in how the other radiated with happiness and they were in such a bubble of bliss that Erin didn't even recognize how her doctor moved the wand and the whoosh-whoosh subsided.

″And that's another steady, healthy heartbeat,″ Dr. Hanson announced and from one second to the other their smiles turned into frowns as their heads snapped back to the screen.

″What?!″ they both exclaimed simultaneously, a reaction that let a hearty laughter escape from Dr. Hanson's mouth.

″Here's one,″ Dr Hanson explained. ″And here's the second,″ she added as she moved the wand back to where it's been before.

″What does that mean?″ Jay asked dumbfounded and swallowed nervously. The thought that crossed his mind could not be possible. There was no way, just no way-.

Dr. Hanson, however, proved him wrong. ″You're having twins,″ she finally broke the news with them and for a moment, Jay was sure he would faint any second, any recently returned color leaving Erin's face telling him that she was close to collapsing as well or was already in shock by receiving such tremendously life-changing news.

What. The. Hell.

″Look,″ Dr. Hanson said and pressed yet another button to undo the zoom function that had allowed them to take a closer look at the baby. The babies. The singular form of the word wasn't an option any longer.

Only now they could see it crystal clear on the black-and-white screen: there wasn't only one baby growing in Erin's uterus. There were two. Two tiny little humans growing under Erin's heart. Two little nuggets that had against all odds managed to survive the first trimester. Two babies that were quite the fighters for sure. Two beating hearts. Two pair of feet that would soon start to kick her. Twenty fingers. Twenty toes. It were news that left them speechless, this picture they were presented with rather leaving them in denial as complete shock took over.

″There's baby A and here's baby B,″ she explained, pointing to the screen. ″Let me just say, they belong to the top ten miracles I've seen throughout my career because carrying twins past the first trimester with an unstable uterus is quite unbelievable.″

The rest of the appointment went down in a blur as they both tried to process the magnitude of these news. Dr. Hanson did some more measurements on both of the babies and informed them that they were right on track for twins. She told them that they were expecting fraternal twins but that she could not yet tell them the gender, which was something they didn't really care about anyway. With a couple of dates that Erin was giving her, she calculated the due date but told them that the 17th of June 2019 would most likely not be their birthday since twins were usually born between 34 and 38 weeks, so they should prepare themselves for welcoming them in May. They quickly talked through what a twin pregnancy meant and how things could be different compared to a singleton pregnancy and in the end, a nurse drew some blood to find out whether Erin's body lacked any important nutrients and until the blood work would come back from the lab on Monday, she should only take some prenatal vitamins because they could never do any wrong.

It wasn't until they were back in the car after everything was done and they were surrounded by silence that those news seemed to settle and that they were able to put their thoughts and feelings about this miracle and surprise into words.

″Jesus,″ Erin breathed out after taking her spot in the driver's seat and let her head fall back against the headrest, her hands playing with the prints of the ultrasound that Dr. Hanson had given them. No matter the joy and happiness about two healthy babies, this exact thought that she was growing two babies inside of her overstrained her immensely. Or better: it. freaked. her. out.

″We'll get it handled,″ Jay said encouragingly, his hand finding a spot on her thigh and his words were once more the confirmation that he could read her mind like an open book. It seemed like it was never a challenge for him to know what was going on inside of her and in situations like this she appreciated this beautiful connection more than ever.

″Huh,″ Erin breathed out and turned her head to face her husband. ″We'll have two babies at the same time. We'll have three kids. We'll be a family of five. This is completely crazy.″

″Yup,″ Jay chuckled. Her words summed it up pretty damn well. ″It'll be the craziest ride of our lives, without a doubt. But there are so many people out there who managed to raise twins or triplets or any more babies at the same time that I don't even want to think about, so there's no doubt on my mind that we will be able to handle this challenge. It'll be a chaos but it'll be so worth it.″

″Yeah,″ Erin nodded and it seemed like she was still in denial when her eyes fell on the pictures of the two newest family members. ″Geee, can you believe we made them?″ she asked, her hand falling onto her stomach to caress the little bump with the tips of her fingers.

″Sure,″ Jay shrugged casually, a mischievous, boyish and in any way adorable smirk surrounding his lips as he added: ″I put them in there.″

″Don't you dare to celebrate that,″ Erin exclaimed dramatically and punched her fist against his shoulder in mock offense. ″Your mutated whatever sperm...″ she muttered under her breath, hints of tease in her voice.

″Hey, what did this old lady in Iceland tell you?″ Jay asked, ignoring her remark. ″Iceland is magical country and magical things happen in magical country or something like that?″ he recalled what Erin had told him back then.

″That's pretty much precisely what she said,″ Erin confirmed and she grabbed Jay's hand to put it directly on her slightly swollen stomach. ″The magic of Iceland,″ she said quietly and a beaming smile so rare and precious appeared on her face when they locked eyes, her hazel-green eyes sparkling like they haven't done in months, like they were filled with pure diamonds. The glow of impending motherhood was finally radiating from every inch of her body and it was the most beautiful thing to see, something that filled his heart with even more joy than it was already filled with now that they knew that their babies were just fine.

″The magic of Iceland,″ Jay echoed, his smile equalling hers as he stroked her baby bump, a gesture that would for sure become his favorite in the weeks and months to come. ″I love you.″

″I love you more,″ she said back before their lips melted into a sweet kiss that was characterized by love and joy and happiness and any other positive feeling the world had to offer.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″There are two babies in there?!″ Adam echoed in disbelief, his eyes falling onto Erin's stomach as if he tried to figure out how two babies could grow inside of it.

″Yes, there are,″ Erin smirked. ″It's quite unbelievable, isn't it?″

″Damn,″ Adam exclaimed, running his hand through his hair. ″That's my man,″ he then grinned, giving Jay a pat on the back. ″You did that, wow,″ he breathed out, still looking like he couldn't believe it. ″How does it feel knowing you were able to put two in there?″ he winked.

″You know, Adam,″ Erin scolded him before Jay could say anything. ″Only because you would of course boost your ego with this doesn't mean Jay does the same.″

″No no no,″ Jay grinned innocently, expecting to pay for his answer by getting another soft or probably not so soft punch from his wife. ″It does indeed feel pretty awesome.″ There was no punch, surprisingly, instead Erin turned around to face him and raised her eyebrows at him skyrocketing. ″What?″ he chuckled. ″It does.″

Everyone laughed while Erin just grinned and slightly shook her head, turning around and leaning back against his muscular torso again, his arms immediately sneaking around her frame. Sharing these news with some of the most important people in their lives has just made it a hundred times more real. Next spring they would welcome two babies into their family and while the thought of having a newborn times two freaked her out, the joy outweighed any other feeling that threatened to have the ability to overwhelm her and make her feel like she would not in a zillion years be ready for this ride.

This pregnancy making it past the first trimester already was the most unexpected gift given to them. But her carrying twins, having two babies growing inside of her, just seemed too beautiful and incredible to be true. Especially after everything they've gone through it was something they had never even dared to dream about. But here they were, sharing pictures of their unborn children, baby A and baby B how doctors prefered to call them, and imagining a life with three under three and six tiny feet someday running through their house on a Sunday morning. An unexpected blessing but probably exactly meant to be that way: after losing their baby in April they were now given one more, just as if fate wanted to make up for something. And maybe, just maybe, this was another proof for Jay's mantra that everything in life happened for a reason: the good, the bad, the painful, the beautiful.

″And are they...are they safe now?″ Antonio asked carefully at some point, after everyone had seen the first photos of the Halstead twins.

″Considering the issue I have, they are,″ Erin confirmed, inhaling a deep breath before she spoke out the next words. This was still something she had to come to terms with herself: the fact that there never was a safety zone, neither during pregnancy, nor once they would be earthside. ″But I have to accept that there isn't such a thing as a safety zone when it comes to pregnancy. Of course the first trimester is extremely fragile but just because I made it thus far doesn't mean they're safe. Something can happen at any time and carrying twins is considered to be more of a risk pregnancy than having just one. And even when they're born, is there ever a safety zone? Are our children really safe anymore in a world like this?″

″No,″ Antonio sighed and shook his head. ″We probably know that better than anyone. But we're trying our best to protect them and we can't think as negative all day long and fear that something bad will happen.″

″Exactly,″ Erin nodded. ″I'm not quite there yet and I might need a little while longer to fully trust my body and life not to screw me over again but I'm ready for this journey and positive vibes only from this point on.″

″Cheers to that,″ Kevin winked and raised his glass filled with water, Mouse quickly handing Erin and Jay a glass each as well.

″To the Halstead twins,″ Hank raised his glass as well.

″To the Halstead twins,″ everyone chorused.

Once again Erin turned around in Jay's embrace to face him and clink glasses with him. ″To our little nuggets,″ she whispered only for him to hear.

″To our little nuggets,″ he smiled genuinely, instead of bringing the glass to his lips rather stealing the sweetest kiss from her lips.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Alright baby girl, are you ready for bedtime stories?″ Jay asked his daughter in the evening after giving her a bath and making her ready for the night, the toddler sitting on the changing table in her adorable unicorn onesie and smelling of peach and raspberry.

″Yaah yaah,″ the little girl beamed. ″You read book.″

″I might not read you from the book today, Em,″ he smiled, running his through her soft, light-brown waves that fell onto her shoulders. ″But I'll tell you a different story.″

He lifted her into his arms and carried her downstairs, looking for Erin who'd cleaned up after dinner while he'd volunteered to bathe Emilia when for once he was home as early that he could enjoy some quality time with her in the bathtub.

″Hey you two,″ Erin grinned when her two favorite people approached her in the kitchen, where she was storing away some cleaned pots.

″Hi mama,″ Emilia waved joyfully.

″Did you and daddy have fun in the tub?″ she asked and attempted to tickle her stomach, Emilia already squeeking.

″We had a blast,″ Jay winked.

″Yeah, I bet you loved playing with rubber ducks and little boats,″ Erin cockily raised her eyebrow at him.

″Sure, give a boy some children's toys and he's happy,″ he chuckled. ″Anyway, we thought you would want to join me and the munchkin for bedtime stories...″

″I wouldn't want to miss it,″ she smiled and gave both, Emilia and Jay a kiss on their cheeks before she followed them upstairs into their bedroom, where they settled in their king-sized bed with dozens of fluffy pillows, leaning against those and Jay bending his legs so Emilia could comfortably lean against them while he held her hands and started to tell this very special story, Erin snuggling close to him and resting her head on his shoulder as she listened to his words.

″Okay princess, where do I start with this?″ he asked rhetorically. ″It was a couple of months back that mommy and daddy went far far away to the magical land of fire and ice and fairies and trolls for a couple of days and the beauty of this country in the Atlantic ocean took our breaths away in every single way. Iceland, that's the name of this magic foreign country, is otherworldly and there's a spectecular show on the nightsky almost every single evening, when all kinds of green and yellow and purple colors explode in what's called the Aurora Borealis,″ he said, playing with his voice in a way that it sounded like the most terrific and captivating story.

″After dealing with a very bad food poisoning on the first couple of days and already thinking we won't make it past our bathroom and just return home without seeing more than our hotel room, things changed for the better and over the next couple of days, something truly magical happened next to being allowed to watch the Northern Lights dance every single night,″ he told her, Emilia listening all attentive although he didn't tell her a story from her favorite animal book. The almost two-year-old was completely into all kinds of stories that included animals and thanks to Luke, she also loved the pirate stories. Princesses, on the other hand, were something she wasn't really into.

″When we returned home from Iceland, we felt so much better than before, like we left some dark shadow back there, but we had no clue about this magical thing that was going on in mommy's body,″ he grinned. ″The soccer tournament came and we had a blast and although our short trip to another country far far away, called Australia, was quite stressful, we thoroughly enjoyed our time down under. Mommy was a little sleepy all the time and she wasn't able to drink coffee in the morning, which is weird because she literally kills for a cup of coffee, but we couldn't make the connection. And let's just add, with you, mommy was late in the game of figuring it out as well,″ he chuckled.

″Guilty as charged,″ Erin laughed, remembering how she'd been around 8 weeks along when the thought of a pregnancy had first crossed her mind over two years ago in Wisconsin. ″There was all the stress and traveling and work and the rollercoaster of emotions, it never crossed my mind that there could be a different reason for being late,″ she shrugged. In fact, after the miscarriage, she hadn't had a regular period until late July but she'd never worried because there'd been zero sexual intercourse. Only from July to August she'd had an usual four-weeks cycle and the results of having her fertile days during her next cycle were now growing in her uterus. So being late again was something that hadn't actually worried her because she'd thought that her cycle was still all messed up.

″There you have it,″ Jay winked at his daughter. ″After Luke's birthday party, you poor little girl got sick with the stomach flu and when mommy had to throw up two days later, we were sure you passed that stomach flu on to her. But you were as innocent as you always pretend to be, bug,″ he smiled and tickled her stomach with his fingers. ″There was a different reason that mommy didn't feel well at all, or rather, two reasons.″

″Two reasons that I ascribe to the magical things that happened in Iceland,″ Erin smiled as well and rolled onto her back so she could pull her shirt up and reveal this miracle to their daughter, who would only learn to understand this in the weeks and months to come.

″Look at that, Em,″ Jay whispered all fascinated, his eyes taking in every inch of already stretched skin. ″Because of what happened in Iceland, mommy's stomach isn't all flat anymore. There are two babies growing in there now and who knows, maybe the fairies and trolls had something to do with that,″ he chuckled.

″Baby?″ Emilia asked, using the word for the first time in months since she'd thankfully stopped using it soon after they'd stopped to use it.

″Two of them, actually,″ Erin told her daughter. ″Do you wanna stroke the babies all gentle, like this?″ she asked and caressed her bump with her fingers.

″Yaah, me do,″ Emilia nodded eagerly and climbed down from Jay to sit in between them, her tiny hand reaching for Erin's stomach and petting it gently. ″Baby kissy?″

″Uh-huh,″ Erin nodded, swallowing down the sudden built up lump in her throat. Blame the hormones that she was such an emotional mess but this moment was just too precious and heart-warming and perfect to keep her emotions under control. ″Of course you can give the babies a kissy,″ she said, stroking Emilia's head.

Emilia leaned down to give Erin's stomach a wet kiss, saying: ″Hi baby,″ in between and kissed it again. ″Me luv baby,″ she giggled up to Erin as she snuggled her head against the bump.

″You'll be the very best big sister,″ Jay, who seemed to be just as emotional as Erin, whispered as he stroked Emmy's head. ″Although you might be completely oblivious to what having two baby siblings really means,″ he joked.

″She's not the only one,″ Erin laughed. ″But right now I like to be oblivious and not think about the chaos we'll be surrounded with and that our baby soon won't be our baby anymore and instead has to share us with not one but two babies. So let's just enjoy this moment because it's one I didn't think we'd ever be allowed to enjoy again,″ she said quietly and smiled down on their daughter who still cuddled with the little bump and stroked it with her hand.

″Yeah,″ Jay answered just as quite and placed a kiss on her temple as he wrapped his arm around her. ″Let's just do this.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Soft snowflakes were falling down from dark grey skies on late Sunday afternoon, winter hitting the Windy City with full force now that Christmas was coming closer, and the world outside has turned into one amazingly beautiful but not exactly loved winterwonderland ever since it had started to snow this morning. Those were the days when being inside the house with wearing cozy socks and a thick pullover and warming hands on a mug of hot chocolate seemed to be the only option to enjoy this weather. Other than building snowmen of course. Because compared to Erin and Jay, who couldn't get anything out of snow and the cold weather that came with it, Emilia loved the white powder and so they'd already spent time outside in the backyard with her to build the first little snowman of the season. There was no doubt that many more would follow again this winter until spring would finally come back in April.

″Mama out,″ Emilia demanded, standing in front of their floor-to-ceiling windows and pointing out into their backyard, leaving her hand print on the window.

″Emmy, it's almost dark outside, we can't go out now but we will build an even bigger snowman tomorrow, okay?″ Erin asked. ″Come on, let's continue with this puzzle,″ she added, showing her one of the big pieces. She was sitting on the floor, wearing yoga pants, Carol's hand-knitted socks and Jay's huge and cozy blue Cubs pullover that she almost disappeared in and when Jay'd offered to prepare dinner all by himself, she'd thankfully accepted his generous offer and had then spent the last hour to play with Emmy and all of her toys that always turned their living room into the greatest children's paradise.

″Nooo,″ Emmy almost whined and shook her head. ″Go out.″

″I told you we can't and have to wait until tomorrow,″ Erin explained calmly as she joined her daughter by the window and knelt down behind her so they could gaze out of the window together. She wrapped her arm around her tiny frame to pull her into her embrace as she said: ″Look, it's almost dark, we won't even be able to see what we're doing. Besides, daddy is about to finish cooking dinner, so if your uncle Will and his family and your grandpa Robert would finally show up, we could sit down and eat yummy scalloped enchiladas with rice and avocado. So how about we visit daddy over there in the kitchen,″ she said and motioned her head to their open kitchen, ″and look whether we can steal some food already? But we will have to be really quiet so he doesn't hear us coming, okay?″ she whispered conspiritorally in the end. Thankfully, this little bit of acting was enough to convince her that stealing food was the better idea than building a snowman in the dark.

″Okay,″ she tried to whisper back just as conspiritorally as Erin.

″Alright,″ Erin smiled and got up to take Emilia by her hand as they walked to the kitchen, looking down at her and placing her index finger on her lips to show her that they had to be super quiet although she knew that Jay could hear them from a mile due to the squeaking noises caused by Emilia's no-slip socks.

But Jay played along with them, of course he did – she hadn't expected anything else - and only when Erin picked Emilia up into her arms so she could reach for a piece of avocado herself, Jay turned around, exclaiming with a laugh: ″Gotcha!″

Emilia squealed like crazy by her daddy's reaction and giggled joyfully and Jay reached out to take her from Erin's arm into her own. ″Well my little food thief, what am I going to do with you now?″ Jay asked her. ″Probably throwing you over my shoulder like a bag of potatoes?″ he considered and with one swift move, he 'threw' her over his shoulder, holding her safely by her knee pits, which made Emilia's giggles and laughters and squealing grow even louder.

″So where should I bring the thief now? Probably the basement?″ Jay said as he walked through their living room, Emilia still laughing like crazy. If it wasn't for the doorbell ringing and signaling that their guests were here, Erin would've watched her two favorites goofing around for the next hour without getting bored.

″I'll go,″ Erin called, not being sure whether Jay'd even heard her, and made her way to the front door, Crispin following her on her heels like almost always these days. It seemed like ever since she's been pregnant, their loyal dog wanted to protect her even more and there was absolutely no doubt on Erin's mind that the black-and-white border-collie labrador-mix knew exactly what was going on and that she was carrying very precious cargo around.

″About damn time,″ she welcomed Will, Natalie, Owen, Robert and Carol – yes they were official now - when she opened the door, snow covering their jackets from only the short distance they'd had to walk from their car to the porch.

″You shouldn't believe it but there are still drivers out there who don't know how to drive in this weather,″ Will winked.

″Probably some who moved here recently,″ Erin shrugged. She knew these drivers and they drove her nuts as well. Most of all because they were a danger to everyone else.

″Yeah, from California I guess. Or any other region that doesn't ever have these conditions,″ he chuckled as the family made their way inside the warm hallway, hugs being exchanged as they passed Erin.

″And this is only just the beginning,″ Erin sighed.

″Tell me about it,″ Will sighed as well, being the first to leave his jacket and shoes by the coatrack and escape the crowded place. Gazing at his sister-in-law, he tilted his head to the side and looked her over quickly, which Erin of course recognized.

″What?″ she raised her eyebrows at him with a smile.

″I was just wondering...is that Jay's pullover or is wearing pullovers two or three sizes too big the new fashion now?″ he laughed.

″It's my pullover,″ Jay answered, appearing in the doorway behind her with Emmy on his hip. ″She's probably wearing my things more often than I do,″ he chuckled.

″They're super comfy,″ Erin defended herself.

″They're not flattering,″ Will laughed as Owen tugged on his jeans and wanted to get picked up from the man he considered his daddy. Of course Will didn't hesitate with picking the almost three-year-old up into his arms.

″No?″ Erin smirked at her brother-in-law, raising her eyebrow yet again. And suddenly she had an idea. They haven't had an exact plan of how to tell their family about the new additions to their tribe but they surely hadn't planned on revealing the secret in the hallway, literally two minutes after welcoming them. But now, as everyone had taken off their jackets and shoes and their conversation had already drifted into this direction, she knew how she wanted to tell their loved ones that their family of three would soon be a family of five.

Without saying anything else, she quickly pulled the huge hoodie over her head, revealing the tight light grey t-shirt she was wearing underneath, her swollen abdomen all visible from one second to the other. ″Would that be more flattering?″ she asked innocently, grinning from ear to ear as she presented them her 13-week baby bump that was as big as it had been at 16 or 17 weeks with Emilia.

″Is that...?″ Will uttered, having lost the ability to form any sentence that made sense by this most unexpected but most beautiful surprise.

″Of course it is!″ Natalie smiled brightly, laughing by her fiance's reaction. ″What else should it be?″ she chuckled and pushed past him to be the first to pull Erin into a hug of baby bump against baby bump.

″But how?″ Will asked dumbfounded.

″Well bro, do I really have to explain this to you?″ Jay teased his big brother. ″Because I can't help but think that you should know.″

″It's just...I thought this wasn't possible,″ he said as he approached Erin to pull her into a teddy bear hug.

″That's what we thought as well,″ Erin admitted, smiling up at the ginger. ″But this is our very own, unplanned miracle.″ They would never have tried for another baby since they'd feared another loss too much but whichever higher power was influencing their lives had decided differently, had given them no choice and was instead now giving them what their hearts had yearned for.

″I'm so happy for you, you wouldn't believe it,″ Will smiled brightly as he wrapped the arm, that wasn't occupied by Owen, around her. ″Congrats,″ he whispered, leaving a kiss on her forehead.

″Thank you,″ Erin smiled back.

″Congrats bro,″ he then hugged his little brother. ″I honestly can't believe it.″

″You know, sometimes life has its own ways and all we can do is let it do its thing,″ he grinned.

″Yeah,″ Will nodded. ″You must be over the moon.″

″Uh-huh,″ Jay nodded, ″we couldn't be happier.″

Robert and Carol also congratulated and hugged them in the hallway, the woman that has become a beloved family member over the last almost two years saying that she was excited to take care of another little one soon, speaking in the singular form because the biggest surprise was yet to come.

They all settled around their big dining table, but before Jay served them the deliciously smelling scalloped enchiladas with tomatoe sauce, rice, avocado and salad and they took their seats, there was something else that needed to be done first: revealing their second secret by showing them the photos from the ultrasound two days ago.

″You wanna see something?″ Erin smirked as she reached for the ultrasound photos on the sideboard.

″This my new niece or nephew?″ Will grinned, motioning his head to the photos.

″Uh-huh,″ Erin nodded and handed him the pictures as casual as possible. Her gaze never left Will's to not miss a second of his reaction and she reached for her glass simultaneously to hide her revealing grin by taking a sip the moment his eyeballs widened to an unimaginable size.

″You're having triplets?!″ he exclaimed in disbelief.

That – well that – almost made her spill the water all over her brother-in-law's face but she miraculously managed to gulp it down which resulted in heavy coughing. She couldn't tell whether the coughing came from gulping the water down or having the feeling to choke though. ″Excuse me?″ she croaked after the initial shock of Will's statement.

″Wait, you didn't know?″ Will asked deadpan. ″Your doctor didn't see the third baby?″

″What third baby?″ Erin managed to say, feeling cold sweat appearing on her forehead, her hands shaking slightly. This better was the worst joke someone has ever played on her. Because otherwise she would probably just jump from the next cliff.

″There's another one behind twin A,″ he told her and the seriousness in her voice almost made her faint.

″There isn't,″ Jay's emphatic voice appeared behind her just when she had the feeling she would lose her balance any second. ″He's just bluffing. Trying to be funny. But he's lying because his ears are turning red. They've always done that and it's been quite a powerful weapon for me throughout our childhood because I never bought his crap. And now tell my wife that there's no third baby before she collapses, would you?″

″Well,″ he sighed heavily, knowing that the game was over. ″There's no third baby. This was just the perfect opportunity to tease you,″ he winked.

″Not funny,″ Erin grunted, feeling the color returning to her face and her heartbeat going back to normal as she let out a heavy breath of relief.

″Very funny,″ Will disagreed chuckling. ″You should've seen the look on your face.″

″You'll pay for that. And don't forget: revenge is always sweeter,″ she shrugged, a smile appearing in the corners of her lips as she imagined her reaction and the priceless look on her face. ″I gotta admit, that was a good one. You got me there.″

″I know, that was the face of the century,″ he laughed. ″So twins, huh?″

″Yep,″ Erin nodded. ″Explains the size,″ she added with a chuckle, pointing to her stomach.

″Impressive,″ he winked. ″You know how many times doctors discovered twins on the first ultrasound but triplets on the second?″

″Will!″ Jay, Natalie and Robert exclaimed simultaneously, just like they had to discilpine an unbehaved child.

″Just saying,″ he laughed, holding his hands up in defense. ″But I'll be a good brother-in-law now and not say anything else about triplets.″

″That would be wise,″ Erin answered dryly, deciding to probably ignore this goofball for the remainder of the evening.

″Do you already know what you're having?″ Natalie asked.

″No,″ Erin shook her head. ″I'm due in mid June, so they're too small to determine the gender yet.″

″Well, you know the Halstead family tradition of us always having boys,″ Will said. ″I stay true to that tradition if I might say so,″ he smirked proudly. He and Natalie were indeed expecting a baby boy in early March. ″Jay on the other hand was the first in god-knows how many generations of Halsteads to break that tradition by having a daughter. So my bet is on two more girls just because Jay's a rebell.″

″I can't even argue,″ Jay laughed. ″Because I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I put two girls in there, outnumbering myself even more by doing so.″

The laughters erupted again and they didn't stop all evening. Every fiber of their bodies enjoyed being so happy and blithe and full of anticipation, so many feelings coming back these days after being buried for so long. But those two babies, those two girls or two boys or this boy and this girl, and the prospect of soon of having three kids, of being a family of five, has changed everything. Their life had made another 180 turn in a moment they'd least expected it and although they would never be complete and there would always be a piece missing due to losing their baby – Little H – they knew the best and yeah, the most chaotic, was yet to come...

Don't be worried in case you feel like this sounds like the end...it's not ;-) I honestly thought about ending it right here right now with chapter 100 but I feel like there are a few loose strings I have to tie up and that not everything has been told yet. So I'll keep on fighting for chapter 101 and beyond.

In the meantime, thank you to everyone who's still here. I really really really do appreciate it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. In case there's anything specific you want to read about, do not hesitate to tell me because maaaaybe, it can help me with my writer's block ;-)