It's weird. He's not going to lie. Sitting in Cas' cabin with his counterpart, and his own angel's counterpart is a little unsettling, but at the same time, he's getting a kick out of seeing those two - the other Cas and Dean - hit it off.

The way they lean into each other, the deep soulful stares, and it's funny seeing it from the outside. The whole time, all he could think of is, "Is that how we always looked?"

That being said, his Castiel has been distant since the ride back. He's barely even making eye contact with Dean, and for now, he'll write it off to the aftermath of almost becoming a damn zombie, but if this goes on any longer, he thinks they will have to have a talk.

It's also not that Dean hasn't seen this coming. Castiel is at full power now, and that means he's probably not into the whole affection thing anymore. In fact, he has never seen Castiel being warm and fuzzy while being fully juiced -not in all the years he's known him. Does he love Dean? Of course. But he's pretty sure that is where it will stay now.

But then again, he could be totally wrong and reading way too into this. Castiel is also different now, being a powered up angel or not. They are different. Maybe they don't have to go back to the way it has been for the past seven years.

Yet if they do... go back, if this is it for them, then he'll respect that. It will suck and Dean will probably be sad as hell, but it's not like Castiel will be going anywhere. They'll still be close, still be friends, just not in a physical way. Now, he only has to convince himself that this isn't really what's happening and his angel is just a little worn out from everything that's happened.

Hippy Cas practically throws them out so he could be alone with his new Dean, so they make their way to their cabin, walking in silence up those steps and inside the familiar dwelling. They take turn showering, and already Dean's a little disappointed that Castiel didn't offer to join him. He pads over to the kitchen, finding a bag of chips and some beer in the refrigerator, and plops down on the bed, while Castiel sits in a chair by the window.

He's staring outside - probably at nothing, and it's unnerving how he seems a million miles away from him. He hates this. He hates not knowing what's going on in his angel's head, but at the same time, he's afraid, so fucking afraid to bring it up.

He's avoiding the 'talk'. He doesn't want to hear that they have to go back to being platonic, that the romance is gone, and even if he does want him here and there (which he knows is true since Castiel had even admitted that to him not too long ago), it's not enough to keep a relationship like the one they started, going.

Dean isn't dumb, and he's not clueless when it comes to matters of the heart. He may not have been in many deep relationships before, but he knows when they've run its course and the sick feeling in his stomach is telling him that this is what's happening to them now.

He's cursing himself for coming back here, because if not, Castiel would never have been bitten by a damn Croat, and he wouldn't be twitchy right now, but at the same time, he knows how fucking selfish that is. They saved the damn world... no wait, two worlds, and he shouldn't expect some kind of reward for it. This is what he does, since he can remember, and the prize at the end was just knowing he did the right thing.

"You know, the bed is a lot more comfortable, Cas."

He has to test it, just to see. Will Castiel join him? Will he choose to remain on the goddamn opposite side of the room? He wants to yell, shout, cry out for some answers, or some fucking conversation, but he remains silent while he watches Castiel turn to him, his face plagued with sadness.

Fuck.

"This trip has been a wild ride, Dean."

Ah, he speaks.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Care to do that over here, though?"

Castiel sighs and rises from his chair, making his way over to the bed. Dean's heart is beating hard in his chest, and it's so loud, he wonders if Castiel can hear it. He watches him sit on the edge, one leg off the side and scoot his body until his back is against the wall.

"Wow, I don't bite, you know. Unless you want-"

"Dean…"

"What? What's up with you? You've been so… I don't know, quiet or some shit."

He turns to face Dean, his body moving with him. "I almost turned into a monster, Dean. I also could have killed you in the process."

"Yeah, but you didn't and you're fine now." Dean inhales, shakily. He's not sure where this conversation is headed, but he hopes this is all that's bothering Castiel.

"That's not the point."

"Then what is the point, Cas? Enlighten me."

Castiel raises an eyebrow at him. "Lucifer gave me my powers back. He helped me."

Dean chuckles. "Yeah, after I made a deal with him to hand over the 'Mark of Cain-Dean'. So what, Cas? He's not your savior or anything. He is the fucking devil. Or was , in this case."

When Castiel looks away, Dean reaches out and touches his cheek, but his angel flinches. He lowers his hand, now knowing that this isn't all that's troubling him and his stomach won't stop flipping. "Cas?"

"Another deal with the devil..."

Dean's nostrils flare as he tries to control his breathing. "It wasn't a deal, I was lying to him."

Castiel's face is hard, and it's making Dean furious. This is the Castiel he met all those years ago, the obedient angel of the Lord with this stiffness that he wishes he didn't have to see right now.

"He could have killed you, and it would have been because of me, and once again, we're back to the same situation." Castiel sighs, and closes his eyes briefly, before opening them up to glare at Dean.

He continues, "Being drained is dangerous. Being human is dangerous. For all of us."

Dean snickers, and shakes his head. "You're kidding right?"

"No, why would I be kidding?"

He rolls his eyes. "Because this isn't about you being juiced or not. This is about you being too fucking scared to be anything other than an angel."

Dean has no idea where this is coming from, or why he even said it, and the way Castiel is looking at him right now, he wishes he can take it back. But it's the reality of this situation, from Dean's perspective.

Castiel says he's fine with being drained, but when something dramatic happens, when one of their lives is threatened, he changes his tune because he really has no idea how to deal it.

He remembers Cas' guilt whenever they would lose someone and he didn't have enough mojo to resurrect. He remembers Charlie, and how his angel walked around with this burden on his shoulders from not only working with her on that damn book, but that he couldn't bring her back.

"That's not true, Dean."

"Yeah? Well since you've been 'All Powerful Cas' you've been distant and acting really fucking weird. You barely said one thing to the other Cas and Dean, and fuck, you didn't even say one word to Miriam - who by the way, risked her life for you."

His face is on fire, his heart racing, and he wishes this conversation would just disappear. He doesn't want to fight with Castiel. He just got him back after being sick, on his way to either dying or becoming a zombie, and this isn't how he wants to celebrate the fact that they're all alive, Lucifer is dead, and the fucking Darkness is gone.

They should be laughing, having a damn party, even if it's just the two of them. They should be making love and melting into each other right about now. They should be lying in that bed, face to face, promising the future to each other.

Instead, they're awkward as fuck and arguing. Nice.

"I just have a lot on my mind."

Dean barks. "Yeah, well, wanna share with the class?"

"I just did!" Castiel asserts, loudly at that, making Dean jump.

"Whoa, there. What the hell, Cas?"

Castiel shakes his head and lowers his eyes. "Sorry." Looking back up at Dean, his eyebrows arch. "I shouldn't have yelled."

"Cas," Dean softens, resting his hands on top of Cas' and he doesn't flinch, which is a good sign. "We almost die practically on a weekly basis. Why is this different?"

"Because that's not all." Castiel slides his hands from under Dean's and rises from the bed, his back to him. He stands there, frozen for a few more seconds before turning around. "I think you and Sam would benefit more if I was always at full power."

His words are low, but Dean can hear them loud and clear. "And? Your mojo is back now, so?"

"But it won't always be." Castiel walks over to the window. Without looking at Dean, he says, "I will be drained again, because-"

"Because you're in love with me," Dean finishes for him.

He gets it now. He knows what's troubling his angel, and this isn't just about losing intimacy between them, this is about him refusing to see past his own holy persona. He thinks being an angel is all he can be, to keep him safe, and Dean just wants to laugh. Or cry.

"So, what are you saying, Cas? 'Cause last time I checked, you were okay with… you know, being in love with me," Dean says, his cheeks heated.

"I'm saying that as long as I feel this way, I will lose my powers, and then I won't be able to… if something happens, and-"

"Please tell me you're joking," Dean says as he rises from the bed, walking over to Cas. "You think the only way you can help out is when you have your mojo? Look around, Cas? You see a hell of a lot of people here doing just fine without having a lick of power. Look at this other Cas..."

He's averting his eyes and Dean wishes he could just grab him and shake some sense into him. "I'm pretty sure he regretted it when he watched his Dean die."

"Holy shit." Dean begins to pace, now feeling like he wants to puke. Or punch something. "You can't control everything around you. Some people die. That's not something new, and guess what? Most people don't have angels sitting on their shoulders, ready to zap them back to life whenever they feel like it."

Cas' eyes are watery, the moonlight from outside reflecting off of them. If this hurts Castiel so much, why are they even talking about it? He watches his angel move back to the bed and fall down into it, his face long and sad.

"You should sleep."

Does he keep arguing with him? For the rest of the night, does he try to talk to him about this? Maybe convince him that he's wrong, that powerless Cas is just as important to him as angel Cas? He joins him in the bed and slides under the covers, hoping Castiel will move a little closer to him.

"You just gonna watch me sleep?"

Castiel looks down at him, still sitting up in bed, his back against the wall. "Yes."

Dean closes his eyes, fighting off the urge to cry, but doing a lousy job of it. Tears escape and he quickly scrubs his face before Castiel notices. "So, you're just gonna… stop loving me?"

As soon as those words leave his mouth, he feels his heart split in two. The aching in his chest is unbearable and now he's not only sad as hell, he's angry. Angry for letting himself get to this point, for letting Castiel in, only for him to back out at the last second. Angry at himself for loving this son of a bitch - this angel who is now turning Dean into a blubbering idiot.

But that's what he's saying, isn't it? That as long as he's in love with Dean, his powers will fade, and since he doesn't want that to happen…

"I don't think that's possible."

Dean draws in a breath, and pulls Castiel down by the shoulders so that he's lying down. His angel's face is hard, cold, and he knows it's just his mask, his armour. "Then what…"

"I don't know."

"Then can you just sleep on it? We can figure things out tomorrow," Dean tells him, forcing Castiel's arm to wrap around him.

"I don't need sleep."

"Then just pretend to, okay?"

Castiel nods, offering Dean a small smile and it's all Dean needs right now. He doesn't want him to make stupid decisions after dealing with a traumatic and exhausting day. Their minds need rest, and even if his angel doesn't sleep, he needs time and relaxation to think things through. Because if not, it really sounds like Castiel is ready to leave him and Dean isn't going to hear that. Not now.

And so Castiel finally settles in, taking Dean into his arms, so that Dean's head can rest on his chest and it's making him feel okay again. Enough to let his eyes close and let his brain shut off for the night so that he can finally get some much needed sleep.

The next couple of days aren't any better, with Castiel being distant, and the others are picking up on something being wrong. When Miriam asks Dean about it, he shrugs it off, explaining to her that Castiel is just still a little shaken about everything that's happened. He can tell she doesn't buy a word of it, but she lets it go, not trying to dig for more information, and Dean's thankful for that.

He doesn't want to talk about it, with anyone. He doesn't want to say that Castiel is thinking of leaving Dean. That he thinks being around him, being in love with him, is a curse. That even if there is the slightest possibility that he could somehow fall out of love, it will make everyone safer.

For an angel who's older than dirt, he sure is an idiot, sometimes.

But Dean doesn't talk about it with Castiel either, as they said they would. They just go about their day, with the other Cas and Dean, and Chuck on occasion. They eat, listen to stories, talk about things they've done in their own world. And when the others wanted to hear more about Woodstock, Dean found it almost impossible to discuss.

One of the greatest adventures they had been on, and talking about it now cuts like a knife. He's seeing Castiel now, telling him how happy he is, that being in love with Dean is worth it all, and now Dean wants to punch him in the face for lying to him.

Because it's not worth anything. He'd rather leave him, just so he can remain an goddamned angel, and that fact alone is devastating to him.

When it's finally time to go home, Dean is thankful. Seeing this other Cas and Dean so close and obviously so in love is making his own heart ache for what he used to have with his own Castiel.

He did catch his angel watching them, intensely on occasion, and he wonders if he thought the same thing as Dean: that they don't need mojo, or the ability to resurrect or heal, because being together is better than all of that. Being together is bringing them both back to life, in a way.

Saying goodbye is a little hard, but he's also so happy for them. They get to live their life together, no more Lucifer, no more crap. Their world will be put back to normal and he's at least grateful that he was a part of making that happen.

When Miriam pulls Dean into a hug, she holds him tightly, bring her mouth to his ear. "Give him time. He's confused. He loves you very much and that love will always win with you two," she whispers. Pulling back, she smiles at him. "It always does."

Dean tries to smile, despite being brought to tears. He doesn't agree or disagree with her, but he feels in his heart that she's right. The world has tried to tear them apart so many times, and never truly succeeded. Dean and Castiel have always found their way back. Castiel will remember this, and he'll realize that being together is how they both save each other.

Once they perform the ritual, they're sucked into the portal and thrown back into his room, where Sam is waiting eagerly for them. He greets them both with a big hug. "So glad it worked this time!"

Dean smiles, or at least tries to as Castiel just heads out of the room. Sam watches in disbelief and narrows his gaze on his older brother. "What happened?"

He looks down. "I wish I knew."

Sleeping alone sucked last night and Dean decides to make his way to the kitchen after waking up feeling like crap. He looks at the coffee maker and then the contents of the refrigerator, and loses his appetite. He shouldn't be acting like a jilted lover, like a lovesick teen who can't function after a breakup, but he also can't help it.

And is that what happened? Did they… break up? Did they even have anything to break up from? Was Castiel just testing the waters, wondering what it felt like to be with him, and now that he knows, he doesn't need him anymore? Was this just some life lesson for the angel?

Dean finds himself in fists until it hurts, so he loosens his hands, stretching out his fingers, and decides to make some coffee. Fuck it. He's not going to stop living just because Cas is a little confused. If he figures it out… when he figures it out, Dean will be here, but in the meantime, life still needs to go on.

"Did Cas say where he was going?"

Dean turns to Sam, shaking his head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, his room is empty. He's not anywhere in the bunker."

The kitchen begins to spin a little. "No. He's all fixed now, he probably just flew away somewhere, you know, like he used to."

The heaviness he feels is starting to take its toll on him. His head is cloudy, and he's unable to focus on anything right now, except for Cas and his fucking disappearing act.

God, he hated when Cas used to do that; disappear for days, weeks, and Dean would have no fucking idea where he was or when he'd be back.

"What the hell happened between you two?"

Dean shakes his head, filling up the carafe. "Don't know, Sammy. I guess Cas just wants his space, fuck if I know why."

"Space? The guy is madly in love with you. What the hell would he want space for?"

"I don't know, Sam!" Dean says strongly and a lot louder than he intended. He clenches his jaw and then breathes in a deeply. "I just don't know," he says, more quietly. He's pretty sure Sam takes the hint to shut the fuck up about it, and so his brother changes the subject to a possible case in Sioux Falls, after getting a call from Jody.

Dean just nods, half listening while he makes his coffee, his mind a million miles away.

It gets even worse for the next few days, when Castiel still doesn't return. Dean had even texted him, wondering if he still had that cell phone he'd given him, but he never got a reply. He wasn't really expecting one anyway. If Castiel is gone, then he's gone. There's no talking someone out of leaving. If they want to be away from you, then you can't change their mind. Or their heart.

And on the seventh day of Cas being gone, Dean starts to mourn. Mourn for their relationship, the tender moments they shared, the revealing and beautiful words exchanged. He's missing holding his hand, and making love, right here in this bed the first night they came back from the sixties.

Dean is sitting in up, legs stretched out and crossed on his bed, his iPod next to him. He puts his earbuds in and presses play, floating away to the Beatles song, Blackbird. All he can think of is him and Cas, being close, kissing, those blue eyes sparkling when he says, "I love you," and Dean now feels tears streaming down his face. He stares at the stupid angel statue with its stupid blue gem eyes and he clenches his jaw, fighting off the urge to smash it.

It's not fair. How dare he let himself fall so deep? He shouldn't have ever taken that step with Cas. They should have just remained friends, and Dean would have been a lot happier just fantasizing about what could happen. Anything is better than this hole in his heart, this empty void where Cas used to be. It's ridiculous too, because he's been without his angel for a lot longer than a damn week, but he also knows that this is a hell of a lot different than all of those times.

They were together, like really together. They were having a great time, seeing new things as a couple. Trying new things as well. He fucking told Cas he loved him and those words have never left his mouth unless it was to his mother.

Dean really thought this was it. Castiel will be his one and only. And with his powers faded, they would possibly grow old together, and now Dean want to slap his own face for being so goddamned naive. The stupid bouquet from Sadie and Delilah's wedding sits on his desk and now his chest is on fire.

Maybe this is what Cas really needed. If Dean can take a step back and try to see things from his angel's perspective, this is all he's known for eons. Castiel, the angel of the Lord. Maybe, even though he's been living years down here with Humanity, he really just needed to be juiced up again. To feel whole again. To have his wings back.

He closes his eyes, focusing on the lyrics: "... all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free."

Suddenly there's a loud whoosh and he swears he hears wing beats. When Dean opens his eyes, Cas is standing at the foot of his bed. Dean rips the earbuds out and sits up straighter. "Cas?"

Castiel is back in his suit, his trenchcoat clean again, as it always magically gets when he's powered up. "Hello, Dean."

"H- hello Dean?" Dean repeats Cas' words. "Where they hell have you been?"

"Thinking."

Dean opens his arms."About?"

Cas answers him by raising his eyebrows.

"Great." Dean shakes his head, sliding out of bed. "Come to finish our conversation about why you can't love me anymore? Why being with me is wrong, why-"

"Dean-"

He walks over to him. "No, come on, Cas. Get it all out. I can take it, I'm a big boy."

"That's not why- Dean, I came here to talk to you about what we discussed the other day, but not… I don't want to…"

"Spit it out, Cas."

Castiel looks down and then his eyes slowly rise to meet Dean's. Of course, now Dean is speechless, because one look from him, especially when he looks all puppy dog like, and Dean is a big pile of mush.

"You were right."

"About?"

Castiel moves closer. "I can't base my existence on being your protector. On being your angel. I- I have never felt more of what I am until I was with you." Castiel turns away and moves to the edge of the bed, where he sits. Looking down at his hands he continues.

"I never wanted anything bad to happen to you boys, I always felt that when I was at my best, I could make sure you were safe. And if you got hurt, or worse, I'd be there to make it better."

Dean sits beside him. "Cas, you have always been so much more to me than just that…"

Castiel turns his head to look at him. "I know."

"Where have you been?"

"All around. Heaven. Earth."

"Heaven?" Dean can't even think of a reason why Castiel would be up there.

"Yes. I needed some answers. I needed to find out if what Metatron said was true."

Dean leans in, resting his elbows on his knees. "And?"

"He was right. As long as I'm in love with a human... with you, I will lose my powers."

When Castiel says that, Dean was expecting more sorrow on his face, but this time, he doesn't seem at all bothered by it. There's no stress behind his words, no deep seeded regret. "So, what does this mean. For us?"

Castiel turns his body and takes hold of Dean's hand. "It means, I'm sorry."

Dean swallows the lump in his throat. "S-sorry for what?"

"For confusing you. For confusing us. I… I was still shaken about what happened. I felt miserable at being distant with you, Dean, but I was also so torn." He looks down, and Dean notices his hand is actually shaking. He squeezes it, urging Cas to continue. "I hurt you, while being infected. It was like, I knew what was happening, I knew what I was doing, but I had no control over it."

"Cas..."

"And what if it got worse, what if-"

"It has been worse Cas. Remember Naomi? Remember beating on me in the crypt?"

Castiel looks away, but Dean urges him to look at him. "You were a full blown angel, Cas, and shit still happened."

"This was different, Dean. I- the love between us was able to break that control before anything more permanent happened. But last week, I would have killed you, or infected you, and there would be no way to stop it."

"But you didn't Cas."

Cas bites his bottom lip. "Being vulnerable like that… it scared me, Dean. Not for my own life, but what I could do to you, or Sam. I'd have no way of healing you, or bringing you back if you-"

"Enough, Cas."

His angel looks up at him, tilting his head. Dean continues. "I've been living my entire life this way. No get out of jail free cards. Sure, you came into our lives and gave us that, and trust me, I'm not complaining, or ungrateful, but things change, Cas. People change. So what if you're a regular joe. If you're one of us. I need you either way."

Castiel cracks a small smile, making the butterflies in Dean's stomach go crazy. "It's not just that," he says, his smile fading fast. "I don't know how long this will last, how long I will have my powers, and while I do, I'm afraid I won't be… I can't-"

"Have sex?"

"It's not just the sex, it's everything we've been doing. What if because my instincts aren't the same as when I'm human, I fall short.

"So?"

"So… you deserve more, Dean."

"I deserve to be with the one I love," he says and it makes Castiel blush. "See, you're blushing, that's a very human thing, right there."

Castiel chuckles, locking his eyes on Dean's. "I will never stop loving you. That idea is even too foolish to entertain."

Dean grins, feeling the room brighten a little. "And you'll lose your mojo again. Big deal, right?"

"Well it is, actually, a big deal."

"Yeah, yeah I know but, you told me when we were at Woodstock that you're cool with it. Don't make me hate that memory of us, Cas, 'cause I swear that was probably the greatest moment I ever had with you."

"Oh, Dean, " Castiel shakes his head. "I meant every word."

"Okay, then. Stop stressing about it. Would you really be happier away from me?"

"No, of course not."

"Then you'll stay?"

Castiel nods, and Dean swears he sees tears in his eyes. "Then it's settled. And Cas," Dean reaches for his face and thumbs away a tear from his angel's cheek. "Tears are also very human."

He smiles at Dean, lowering his head and taking hold of Dean's hand. "I guess it is." Looking back up at Dean, he leans forward and kisses him. He feels those sparks again, tingling little bits of electricity, and he can tell Cas feels them too, when he smiles against his lips.

"See?" Dean says when they pull apart. "Maybe you're just over thinking it."

Castiel kisses him again, this time with more passion, taking Dean's face in his hands. They fall back on the bed, Dean chuckling. "Y'know, I'm okay with just talking. If you're not into this sort of thing right now, it's totally cool."

"Maybe," Cas kisses him again, "I don't want to just talk."

"You sure?"

Castiel nods with a smile. Soon, they're kissing again, and it's getting hotter, their desire obviously taking over. Dean's floating, realizing that it doesn't even matter what they're doing, as long as they're together, but being able to be close again, wrapped in each other like this is a blessing in and of itself.

Dean flips them over and rests in between Cas' legs, starting on his trenchcoat. Cas sits up to help him remove it, along with his suit jacket. He then moves up his body, his fingers toying with the buttons of his shirt.

"We can go slow," Dean tells him, to which Castiel smiles in muted agreement.

And he does take it slow, undoing each button, one by one, kissing the exposed flesh, nibbling his nipples. Castiel is letting out soft moans, motivating Dean to continue. Once his chest is bare, Dean works on his belt, sliding down to kiss his stomach as he does so. Castiel hums when Dean begins to kiss his thighs once his pants are off, moving back up to his stomach, licking the hairline beneath his navel.

"Oh, Dean…"

His angel is hard, and Dean looks down at it, smiling at his accomplishment. He takes him in his hand, stroking slowly as he circles his tongue on the tip. Cas is hissing now, bucking up, so Dean begins to suck him, pressing his tongue firmly on the base as his mouth moves down and then up, drawing in his cheeks as he wraps his lips around the swollen head.

Dean's already removing his jeans and t-shirt, all while keeping Castiel in his mouth. Dean moves faster, and then Cas tenses under him, his cock stiffening even harder in his mouth as he comes, and he drinks him in, tasting his sweet angel.

"Dean," Cas whispers as Dean crawls up his body to meet his lips. "I want-" Dean kisses him as Castiel tries to talk in between panting. "More…"

He looks down to see that Castiel is far from being done, so he strokes him, making him even harder. "I can do that," Dean tells him.

Not only was Castiel afraid he wouldn't be able to do this while being angel, he's ready for round two and Dean wants to laugh. All this stress this week over nothing. He could slap him, but that can wait, you know, when they're in the mood to slap each other's asses.

His angel cracks a small smile. "I want to have it all with you, Dean." He kisses him, and Dean lets him. "I used to think that intimacy, and closeness was impossible for me, but I was wrong."

Castiel yanks Dean so that he's sitting on his lap. Dean smiles down at him, his cheeks flushed and his eyes flickering. "Oh yea? How wrong?"

He feels Castiel move underneath him, and his hard cock against his ass. "Very wrong," he breathes as they kiss again, this time with more hunger. Dean isn't sure if he wants to laugh or cry, but halle-friggin-lujah!

Castiel's fingers dig into the flesh of his ass, and he moves Dean on top of him, his cock grinding against Cas' stomach. Soon, Dean is pulling up for air, panting heavily and his mouth curling into a half smile.

He could just stare at him all night, and he'd be fine with that. The way his hair is just a little unkempt than normal, his eyes so wide and blue, they suck him into his soul, his mouth all pouty and swollen from all the kissing they've been doing.

"I want to be inside you, Dean," Castiel says, his breath low and husky, making Dean almost come right then and there.

The angel doesn't waste anytime getting Dean ready with the lube he just grabbed from the nightstand. His fingers slide in and out, easily while Dean hangs forward, his hands resting on the headboard above Castiel's head. He's moaning, and loudly, and he doesn't give a fuck. Let Sam hear them. Hell, the the world hear them.

When Castiel slips the tip in, Dean gasps. He's never had anything that big in there, but Cas is slow, taking his time as he inches in, until Dean can feel his ass against his pelvis. His cock is throbbing in his angel's hand now, and with each thrust inside him, Dean feels like he's ready to explode.

"Holy shit, Cas…"

"Are you okay? I'm not hurting you, am I?"

Dean smiles, lowering his head to kiss him. "No, just keep moving."

And Cas does, a little faster, as he breathes harder, grabbing Dean's ass and moving him on top of him, pumping him. "Is this… good?"

Dean nods, not even able to speak now, his angel hitting that spot inside of him. He looks down at Castiel, and their eyes meet, blue and green, and he wants to just wrap him in his arms, cry like a baby at how lucky they are, and never let him go.

Just then, Cas cries out, closing his eyes as he spills inside of Dean. He's pulsating inside of him and it makes Dean come so hard, he thinks he's close to fainting. He slows down, keeping Castiel joined with him as he lowers his chest and kisses his angel, tenderly.

"Well, at least we know it all works."

Castiel pinches his ass and Dean lets out a whelp. Soon they're both laughing and in a flash, Castiel cleans them up, making Dean shake his head. Dean slides off of his angel and lies on his side, smiling. A weight feels like it's been lifted off of them, and it's not just about the sex, it's about Castiel not leaving him. He's staying.

"Did you really think you'd be unable to…"

Cas turns to his side, facing Dean. "Well, I've been aroused while being powered up but… I was just afraid it was hit or miss. Like I would have no control over it."

Dean smirks. "Well, you definitely had a lot of control right there."

"Did you like it?" Castiel asks him, staring at him with wide eyes.

He nods. "Very much, Cas." and maybe it's the way he's looking at him right now, those blue eyes, big and shining, his head tilted in that usual way that makes his angel look more like a puppy than a man, but Dean's heart grows heavy.

"Don't ever do that again," he asserts. He knows Cas understands what he's referring to.

"Dean, I- I just didn't know what will happen with us. I was torn. So torn…"

"I know. I get it. But whenever you have questions, or concerns, can we discuss them, you know… together?"

Castiel nods.

"Good. 'Cause this last week has been hell."

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"Don't be sorry," Dean kisses him. "Just be here."

They share a smile and then Castiel's eyes widen. He sits up, zapping Dean's clothes back on him, and he jumps at the strange feeling of being naked one second, and fully clothed the next. He watches Castiel hop from his bed and dig through Dean's things.

"What are you doing?"

Castiel ignores him as he rummages through his bags, and then he let's out sigh, saying, "A ha, here it is."

"Here what is?"

He smiles at Dean, stepping into his boxers, and then a pair of jeans. It's when Castiel pulls on his purple Sly & the Family Stone t-shirt that Dean grins back at him. "Miss it?"

A second later, Castiel is racing out of Dean's room, and now Dean is on his feet, ready to chase after him, really confused as to what's going in. He's dragging Sam through the door moments later, and his poor little brother looks as confused as he does.

"What the hell's going on?" Sam asks, eyeing the two of them.

Cas smiles at them. "I don't know how much time I have left, you know, with my powers, so I wanted to do this one last thing…"

Dean and Sam share a look when Castiel rests a hand on each of their shoulders, and then in a flash, they're standing in a crowded field, at dawn, the smell of marijuana and strawberries all around them. Dean bends over, still dizzy as Castiel puts his arm around him.

"Holy shit," Sam says.

Just then Dean almost chokes when he hears the beginning of Heaven and Hell, by the Who, blasting through the field. He looks up at the stage and there they are, the entire band. "Woodstock," Dean says.

Castiel smiles at him. "I wanted you to enjoy it. It was too bad we had to leave when we did, and-"

Dean shuts him up with a kiss. He brings him into his arms, his lips locked with his angel's. "I love you," Dean tells him once they pull apart. He glances at Sam who is in utter shock as he stares at the stage.

"I can't believe…"

"Summer of love, Sammy," Dean tells him, turning back to Castiel who is still smiling.

For the rest of the the show, they sit in the grass, Dean and Cas hand in hand, with Sam beside them. It's unreal really, and sure, Castiel having the power to do this is pretty awesome, but it wouldn't even be the same if he wasn't here with him.

It's not about what time period they can go to, or how much Castiel can do for them when he's charged. It's about being together, being close, being a team, and he thinks Cas gets that now. It's about being there when no one else is. It's about never giving up and always having each other's backs.

Family, love, is never based on how much the person can do for the other.

As Castiel rests his head on his shoulder, he knows he gets it. He knows how much he loves him, no matter what, and that right there is important. Cas will lose his powers, he'll become human, and Dean will love him all the same.

And they'll get by. They always do. He'll train Cas to be a better hunter, give him some shooting lessons, and for some reason, Dean is 100% okay with this. He won't be scared of Cas' well being, or act like he can't handle himself.

And they'll become so much more. Spending their days together, being as close as possible. This is a future Dean can look forward to. A future that has him and Cas together.

"Are you happy, Dean?"

Dean smiles, kissing the top of Cas' head. "With you, I always will be."