Pride, Prejudice, Illyana and Zombies

(Lots and lots of zombies)

(An Illyana passage story)

Author's note: My original plan was for Elizabeth to kill Mr. Wickham but to my surprise it ended up being Lydia. The character Lydia just does not do well in the original Pride and Prejudice book in that she has zero positive character development, remained a self obsessed irritant, and eloped with Mr. Wickham to the shame and horror of her family (the only saving grace was that it did serve to bring Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth together, as well as Jane and Bingley). But… in this version, Mr. Wickham meets his most not unfortunate end at the hands, well… feet, of Lydia so… rather… appropriate in a literary way.

Took me a while to get around to writing this chapter because I was writing other things and a bit of a mental block I suppose.

Part 34a: Utopia interlude

"Lydia kills Mr. Wickham?" Was Emma's astonished outburst.

"Killed." Corrected Illyana. "Which was annoying in that there were so many people who also wished to kill Mr. Wickham, but nobody could fault her, considering the circumstances. But Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, Georgiana, myself, and I suppose countless others, would have wished to be the one to do the deed, or at least participate."

(A different ending then the book dearest.) Thought Scott.

Emma thought back. (Not surprising considering who is telling the story, and I do confess to rather enjoying hearing Mr. Wickham getting his just rewards.)

"Congratulations Illyana, you have done what so many readers of Pride and Prejudice have dreamed of." Was Emma's comment to Illyana. A comment that just prompted a questioning look from Illyana. Emma just knew that Illyana had to know what Emma was alluding to but Emma played along as she explained.

"In the book Lydia marries Mr. Wickham after first eloping with him. You have just described a fate so many readers wished for, if not quite the specific circumstances."

Illyana replied with a surprised expression. "And both Mr. Bennet and Mr. Darcy allowed him to live after such ignoble deeds?"

Emma did have to concede the continued literary existence of Mr. Wickham to be regrettable. "Yes, but I now find myself in the ironic situation of stating that violence is not always the appropriate solution." Ironic in that Emma was rather known for more then a few violent solutions.

A declarative that earned Emma a dismissive "Pfff" from Illyana as Illyana was rather well known for violent solutions (here's a trivial question, name a problem Illyana did not solve violently… yeah I can't really think of one either).

Emma mused a bit. "I must say, with all the music, I'd have thought there would be musical selections from some of the others. I've always fancied Mr. Darcy singing Temptation eyes."

Just a blank look from Illyana, which prompted Emma to clarify. Clarify in that she had Danger play Temptation eyes by the Grass Roots while she briefly lip synced along while doing some few dance moves.

She's got something that moves my soul

And she knows I'd love to love her

But she lets me down every time

Can't make her mine she's no-one's lover

Tonight with me she'll be so inviting

I want her all for myself

Temptation eyes looking through my-my-my soul

Temptation eyes, you got to love me

Got to love me tonight

Her wild-eyed innocence is just a game

But just the same my head is spinnin'

She's got a way to keep me on her side

It's just a ride that's never ending

Tonight with me she'll be so exciting

I want her all for myself

…

…

Emma paused in singing… "No…?"

Illyana's expression was a no, a definite no, why… call it a hell no. "Um… he did say that her eyes were what first captured him but… I find the thought of Mr. Darcy singing to be somewhat… unsettling."

Scott chuckled, both over the topic of discussion between Emma and Illyana and the fact that Illyana and Emma were conversing. Emma so rarely had any female interactions at a conversational level as most women were intimidated by Emma, resentful, or disdainful. Illyana on the other hand was not intimidated in the slightest. Then he chuckled at what was happening on the Franklin show. One of the celebrity challenges was the untying of a corset from a female manikin and the sight of the rock star Meatloaf trying to untie a manikin's corset was hilarious due to the number of laces and the apparent inability of Meatloaf to cope.

Meatloaf stated with irritation to Franklin. "Just how many laces are there? Fort Knox isn't this difficult to get into! What's wrong with a simple bra?!"

Franklin was sagely in his response as he patted Meatloaf on his shoulder. "Yes, but the Fort holds naught but cold gold, not warm embraces." Then Franklin demonstrated how quickly he could undo the corset to Meatloaf's astonishment and cheers from the studio audience.

Scott took another sip of his beer and congratulated himself on being very skilled on knowing how to quickly unlacing a corset, a must know talent when sleeping with Emma.

Scott took another sip of his beer as Illyana continued her story.

Part 34b: Wickham

Our small assault crew of the Bennet daughters, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, Georgiana Darcy, the Crown Prince Ninko of Japan, and finally General Napoleon Bonaparte, stood over the slain body of Mr. Wickham; who looked most ignoble with his pants around his ankles.

Mr. Darcy was quite specific in his disdain. "He died as he lived… disgracefully."

"I wish he still lived so he could expire upon my blades." Was Elizabeth's angry reply. Anger not at Mr. Darcy, but anger upon what had occurred here. The cat Pounces from Darkness rode again upon Elizabeth's shoulder.

"Likewise." Demurely stated Georgiana Darcy, who was wondering how she might kick the Mr. Wickham's severed head without anybody noticing. Perhaps if she hung back when the group left?

The Prince and Bonaparte exchanged glances, there was bad blood here and best not to inquire as to the origins.

Pounces was brief in his statement. *Eye Taker did say he was unsuccessful in his attempt before meeting his end. The young kit then went into the tunnel in pursuit of the mistress. A journey we cats cannot make as the space beyond is warded against us.*

Pounces jumped down from Elizabeth's shoulder and watched the party make haste as they departed down the tunnel, the remaining guards setting up a parameter per their orders from the Prince and the General (orders they had protested against but had been overruled). Pounces sniffed the severed head of Mr. Wickham several times, turned, and sprayed a few choice squirts of cat urine upon it to mark his distain for the man.

But how did the party get here you cry!

Don't just jump ahead!

Don't skip about!

Show us what happened!

Well… Okay.

Part 34b: Lydia (some time before)

Lydia slowly crept down the tunnel, beset by a multitude of thoughts. Concerns for Illyana, fear of the unknown, consternation over the damage that had been done to her dress and Mamma's likely reaction; she dearly hoped Father would take her side as the damage to the dress was not her fault. Unlike a certain coat she remembered with some guilt.

Now her Mother and Father would have much more important concerns then a damaged dress as the dress had been torn during an attempted rape, but such are the irrational thoughts that occur under high stress and emotional trauma. Plus a child tends to always concerned about things that involves one's parents because they are children.

This will not do, thought Lydia as she paused to quell the chaos of her mind. A few deep breaths to steady herself, then a realization that dressed as she was she had no chance of not being noticed.

"Is that you Mr. Wickham?" A voice inquired from further down the passageway, sounded like one of the men Mr. Wickham had sent away.

Lydia gripped her sword with stern resolve, the one she had taken from the now dead Mr. Wickham, as again the voice made inquiry.

"Sir?"

Lydia left the lantern behind her and silently charged down the passageway, thus surprising the guards and quickly slaying them. The dead guards incidentally provided more suitable clothing for her to quickly don, and thus allow her to proceed further into the underground workings in a suitable disguise; but now slightly concerned at what her mother might say about dressing as a man.

Part 34bc: Complications… (also some time ago)

The assault crew of the Bennet daughters, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, the Crown Prince Ninko of Japan, General Napoleon Bonaparte, and a few guards, made hurried progress though the dark streets of London. A pitched battle involving a horde of zombies having taken place but moments ago.

"Imbecile!" Was Elizabeth's harsh condemnation upon Mr. Darcy.

"It is as you say Ms. Bennet." Was his mild reply.

Elizabeth was most upset. "Impertinent dolt! I had matters quite in hand and your interference was unnecessary!"

"Elizabeth!" Was Jane's surprised rebuke. "Such behavior is beneath you! And Mr. Darcy was most genteelly in his actions!"

A rebuke Elizabeth was having no part of as she now railed at her sister. "I was perfectly safe! Mr. Darcy had no cause at all to interfere with those who confronted me!"

Jane just gave the look. The look that said… Liar.

"There was no cause…" Elizabeth faltered. "He shouldn't have…"

"I count it the action I am most proud of in my life." Was Mr. Darcy's statement.

"As would I." Cried Mr. Bingley. "If Jane had been so menaced."

What was the commotion all about you cry? The recent assault had resulted in the group cutting their way though a mass of zombies who had attacked with a peculiar intensity and purpose. An assault that had almost cost Elizabeth her life, but she had been rescued by Mr. Darcy at the cost of a most savage zombie bite upon his left forearm. A bite that condemned him to death.

"You… you…!" Cried Elizabeth who couldn't finish her sentence as she burst into tears to the sudden discomfort of all as Elizabeth turned her back upon Mr. Darcy and sobbed as she sheathed her sword.

Mr. Bingley made eye contact with Mr. Darcy and gave a small get on with it nod of his head in the direction of Elizabeth. Mr. Darcy briefly closed his eyes, sighed to himself, then strode over to where Elizabeth was and stood rigidly behind her.

"I am most anguished that I have brought you distress dearest Elizabeth."

A statement that caused her to turn and pound her fists upon his chest as the injustice of it all while he just enveloped her in a gentle hug and tried to sooth her. "It shall be ok my darling."

Elizabeth attempted to stiffly her sniffles as she realized how just utterly mortified she was at her sudden outburst; and… the reason for her extreme distress as she whispered. "I can't… can't be in love with you."

"Of course not." Was his mild reply. He was fated to die, but… he could not recall ever being more content then now.

It was the sound of cannons from the direction of Whitehall that prompted them to release the hug just as the orange cat Eye Taker made her appearance. Pounces from darkness touched noises with Eye Taker, then gave her a playful swat as he communicated with the group.

*Your missing kit lies ahead, she was taken with the Mistress. Eye Taker took the eyes her missed prey, the one you call Wickham, as he attempted to force himself upon your kit; then the kit slew him with her hind claws.*

Suffice it to say, there was sudden consternation amongst all present as to both to the attempted rape, and to those who had wished to spill Mr. Wickham's blood. Then Mr. Darcy cried out in a stern tone at one of the surrounding rooftops, as he had spotted a familiar silhouette.

"Georgiana! Come down here at once young lady!"

A silhouette that ducked down behind a chimney, then reluctantly rose as Mr. Darcy just glared at the rooftop. Then the figure quickly climbed down the wall to hesitantly stand before Mr. Darcy. "Hello Brother."

It was Mr. Darcy's sister, dressed in all black Ninja barb. Mr. Darcy strove to be stern, he was fated to die, and his beloved sister did not yet know. "And why do I find you gallivanting about?"

Her reply was demur with her eyes downcast, yet you could almost feel the snarl upon her lips. "I wished to encounter Mr. Wickh... George one final time."

Elizabeth intruded upon the conversation. "And your intent?"

"To end him, and in that ending avenge the stain upon both mine own and my family's honor."

The Bennet girls all exchange glances. A glance that was shared with Mr. Darcy as well.

Elizabeth mentioned the little issue of…

"He's apparently already dead. Slain by Lydia, one of our abducted sisters."

A fact verified by the cats, which the young Darcy found to be most fascinating, cats that could speak without talking (she had not been part of the prior cat conversations).

Part 34d: La Machine (yet again some time ago)

Franklin, Lady Catherine De Bourgh, Mr. Wick, Sally, and the unconscious Illyana, being carried upon the shoulder of Mr. Wick, proceeded down the passageway that ultimately ended at the chamber that held La Machine. The smell of smoke was heavy in the air resulting in a scattered coughs. As they hurried they were joined by Louisa Hurst (Oldest sister of Charles Bingley) and her husband. The two had approached from the direction of the chamber.

Louisa cried out. "Lord Commander! All of the council are slain but Mr. Grey and he lies severely injured within the chamber."

"And the Professor?" Cried back Franklin.

"Awaits you as he is attending to Mr. Grey while adjusting La Machine . He is the only survivor other than Mr. Grey." Cried back Mrs. Hurst.

"And yourselves?"

Mr. Hurst commented. "Fortuitously, we arrived after the incident or we likewise would have been slain by the flames."

"Let us make haste!" Was Franklin's reply as they hurried along.

As they approached the opening to the chamber they passed burned bodies that had been stacked outside of the chamber. They entered and found a very burned Mr. Grey was propped up against the wall as a scorched Professor Durard stood up from where he had been attending Mr. Grey. The condition of Mr. Grey quite surprised Franklin as Mr. Grey had survived so much, but he could not recall if flames had ever been involved.

The Professor gestured at the cross within the glass enclosure. "If you would be so kind Mr. Wick." And then followed Mr. Wick as he carried Illyana to the cross as Franklin knelt to examine his friend.

"Strap her in securely." Directed the Professor as a tight leather strap was used on each wrist, and then a straps for the ankles, waist, and the throat. Which is when the Professor noticed the Drake tooth necklace that Illyana was wearing.

He took the tooth in his hand. "Ah… so hence the missing tooth. Gardez-le mon cher ... un accessoire approprié pour un tel que vous." He let the necklace fall back upon her bosom.

Now secured, the two backed away as Illyana began to stir.

"At last." Sighed the Professor. "I feared for La Machine as the burst of flame that erupted from it was completely unprecedented. There must still be something wrong with our understanding of the demon's form. But now… within the enclosure, the resonances will be dampened."

Franklin stood and confronted the Professor as Illyana groggily shook her head, she heard Franklin shouting about something.

"What bizarre logic resulted in you sending zombies to kill the KING!?"

Hmm, she found that she was restrained as she tried to move her arms, and then her feet. She opened her eyes to find herself in some kind of glass cabinet strapped to something behind her. She observed Franklin shouting at the professor. Flanking him was a blond ninja looking woman on his left, and an older woman on his right, with another armed man flanking the subject of Franklin's diatribe. There was a badly burned man was behind Franklin. In front of her, with his back to her, was the Professor, her summoner, who looked very singed for some unknown reason.

"Ah, I hear she has awoken." Was the Professor's mild reply. "Thankfully she is now within La Machine, which should prevent any further complications."

"You have not answered my question Professor Durard…"

"Quite Lord Commander, forgive my distraction. Tant de choses ont été dans mon esprit. Ahh, but forgive my distraction. Sally if you would be so kind."

With one stroke the blonde female ninja plunged her sword into Franklin's torso as the Professor stepped back, and then she drew the blade forth in a spay of blood as Franklins body dropped to the ground.

"Franklin!" Screamed the older woman as she, and the other armed man faced off against the blonde. Swift were the blows exchanged as the Professor likewise pulled forth a Japanese sword and joined in with the blonde. Underlings rushed into the room from two opposite openings and likewise engaged each other. In the confusion of the melee, a shuriken cut partly of the strap on Illyana's left wrist as one fighter, showing a high lever of skill, tried to get around the edge of the fight in the direction of Illyana.

Incidentally the Hursts had fled as the combat began.

Fast was the fight until, with bloody strikes, the Professor and the blonde hew down the Mr. Wick and Lady Catherine De Bourgh in a most bloody slaying.

"Drive them forth Sally, Mon amour!" Shouted the Professor as he wished no additional combat in the camber least the La Machine be damaged. Sally, and her compatriots did just that as they drove the remaining loyal Hydra minions into the tunnel from which Franklin's party had come from.

Once the combatants had been driven from the room, the Professor knelt and examined Franklin, only to find that the man was not yet quite dead. "Ah… Lord Commander, you let cling to existence."

"You… disappoint me… Durard." gasped Franklin after coughing blood. "Such… pettiness of… ambition."

"Ambition Lord Commander? Non. You do not comprehend. This is not some petty coup. I am not replacing you. Non Monsieur. My ambition, as you call it, is much more then petty power games."

A few blinks from Franklin, then. "What… how did you… convince Sally… to do… this?"

The Professor stood back up "We share a similar… call it a goal. A desire as to how the world should be." Then a groan from Mr. Grey distracted the Professor. "One moment Lord Commander…" The Professor pulled a flint lock pistol from his coat, he spoke as he carefully aimed. "Mr. Grey, in the future, not that you have one, do remember to better hide your painting." He then fires a round that splatters Mr. Grey's head against the wall, before discarding the pistol.

A chuckle from the Professor. "Il faut se rappeler les petits details. Non Mr. Franklin. Sally simply desires the same thing I live to bring forth. A desire she thought but a fantasy until I showed her what could be."

Now just bloody coughs from Franklin.

"Ahhh, but you are in distress. I shall be brief. Yes I served Hydra. Served until I died in Japan. Died, but brought back by the Hand to serve a greater purpose, their purpose." The Professor brought forth a long thin knife. "After all, who do you think unleashed this plague of undead upon the world? Tis was the working of the Hand. Life… is noise, a mistake. Now… Darkness shall return, leaving but silence. And La Machine shall ensure it. But my time is brief, and so is yours."

With that the Professor kneeled again and plunged his knife into Franklin's left eye and stirred causing Franklin to spasm and then lay still. The Professor stood and spoke to Illyana as he pulled forth a handkerchief to clean his hands. "Et maintenant nous nous tournons vers vous."

Illyana had no idea what he said, but she replied with "And then there was one."

"Pardon mon Cher?"

"You are the last of my summoners. And apparently I now have two organizations to exterminate." With that she resumed trying to free herself.

Raised eyebrows from the Professor has he thought upon her statement while he walked over to the control console of the La Machine. "Why… I do believe I am. The others all died when the La Machine erupted in fire. I suppose we could converse about so many things, and I could learn so much, but I have a world to kill and must regrettably cut short our discussion."

Hmm, thought the Professor as he stared at her… he could make out the faint outline of a sword in her right hand flickering in and out of existance. Well… Tant de questions possibles, si peu de temps.

With that he threw some switches and flames erupted from her body as Illyana's chamber filled with flames as she briefly screamed. And the machine manifested its power and true intent as all of the zombies of the world, instead of combusting, were filed with purpose, intent, and intelligence.

And the desire to kill everything.

Addendum: 1937: National Portrait Gallery, London. An exposition on the Lady of Fire.

Item 14: Pouncing Darkness by John Crome, a work with a most odd name that has never been explained. In this portrait we see the Lady Georgiana Darcy (maiden name) in a casual poise upon a short wall in the garden of the Darcy ancestral estate of Pemberley located in Derbyshire. She is being shaded by an old oak tree and upon her lap is a very content looking old grey Tomcat. Georgiana Darcy is gently stroking the cat with one hand while an unsheathed Katana is draped over her shoulder. Pemberley can be seen in the distance with a scattered multitude of party goers. The utilization light blues and greens predominates in the sky and vegetation, which was common in the works by Mr. Crome. A pleasant pastoral scene with no obvious dark implications. But if you look closer at the foliage of the oak a multitude of what appears to be sixteen additional cats can be counted. What looks like patterns of daylight upon leaves and wood are actually cat colors; with the remainder of the cat body in shade.

A pastoral piece, but what prompted this work to be included in the exposition? Lady Darcy is staring not at the painter, but at somebody off to her left. That somebody is unknown, but there is a blade that is shown at the ready position, on the edge of the canvas. A blade that has a flaming dragon etched upon it.

Believed to have been sketched at the christening celebration of the first born of Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth Darcy and later crafted into the full painting you see. Work on loan from the Darcy estate.