Dorkipedia

-Karakura Dorks one!shots-

Happy White Day people! I hope you guys enjoy this little chapter. Consider this as a 'I'm sorry, please forgive my previous insolence' fic for last chapter. I honestly didn't mean to push angst to ya way. This isn't a companion chapter/ficlet to chapter 1, but I'll leave it to your own judgment, as always.

So please enjoy and review!

Warnings: grammar errors, hilarity, craziness, potty-mouthed students, Tatsuki, Ichigo and Karakura High's students in general…

Disclaimer: Kubo Tite is the sole owner and creator of Bleach. Studio Pierrot deserves a chair in the face for ruining perfect series with their fillers…

…&…

Episode 4

white day shenanigans; aka, third years have nothing else better to do than keep messing with their damn sanity.

…&…

White day had never been that special before.

Sure boys hollered and boasted, but the girls ever the more serious and normal from the lot acted natural. The day was beautiful; it wasn't raining for a change unlike the week before, the sun shone and the birds chirped happily. If you ignored the animals that were the male part of Karakura high, it was a perfectly good and normal day.

But of course, nothing is ever normal in this god forsaken town.

Not to mention the god damned school.

"Ne, ne. Did you see? Ishida is carrying a gift."

Valentine's was over a month ago and the ever so popular student council's president had received plenty gifts and chocolates. Many girls jumped at the chance of it, giggling and blushing, fairly ignoring the withering looks and glares they received from the boys.

And speak of the devil; he came in the classroom, Kurosaki bickering with him as usual while Sado followed them quietly. He pushed his glasses up his nose gracefully as he shot a retort to Kurosaki. The girls swooned, the boys bristled.

Inoue and Arisawa barged right after, both huffing and giggling as they trotted to the boys.

"Good moooorning~!" she yelled and grinned and all of them nodded back.

"You were late. One more minute and I'd have to report you as absent." Ishida said and pushed his glasses again. Once more the girls swooned and the boys bristled.

"Lay off, you four-eyed bastard. They are here aren't they? No need to be a prick." Kurosaki scowled while leaning on his desk. Ishida merely scowled back.

"Hehehe. It was my fault, Ishida-kun. The little blue men hid my shocks today and I couldn't find them anywhere!" Inoue explained with a sheepish expression.

"We had to go back to my place to get one of mine." Arisawa sighed, and every boy in the classroom glanced at the red head's legs.

Nosebleeds and heavy blushing followed.

Like a trained bloodhound, Arisawa turned her head over her shoulder and glared, "Look at her legs once more, you maggots, and I'll make sure to rip your spines from your throats."

Everyone gulped and hurriedly looked away.

"Well, if that was the case, then it is fine. I'm glad I don't have to report either of you." Ishida said again, a soft look on his eyes. Again, the girls swooned. The boys were too terrified to react.

Of course, that didn't stop them to create more rumors.

…&…

"Ne, did you hear? Ishida's gift is for Inoue-san."

"What? I thought he was giving it to Arisawa-senpai!"

"Are you serious? Wuah… What a player."

"Does that mean we'll be hosting a cat fight at lunch?"

"I'll raise the bets. You give away the flyers."

"But what about Kurosaki? Wasn't he and Arisawa like–"

"Are you serious? Hell, we'll have a bloodbath…"

"Don't be an idiot! Kurosaki has the hots for that transfer student!"

"Are you a bigger idiot? That transfer eloped with that red haired Yakuza! Besides I thought he was gay!"

"Wait… does that mean that he and Ishida…"

"They're spending more and more time together after school. I saw them yesterday at the park. And then one night by the river. They were being weird again. Are they in the Drama club?"

"No one gives a fuck, Yamamoto…"

"Are you serious?! Then we'll have a battle-royal with Arisawa, Inoue and Kurosaki? Who you think it'll win?"

"Arisawa, hands down."

"Dude, have you seen Kurosaki fight? He's an animal!"

"Yes, but both have a soft spot for Inoue. I doubt they'd try and hit her."

"Yeah, and hasn't Arisawa trained her already? I heard she was black belt level."

"Shit, really? Damn, that'd be the brawl of the century."

"Sado would be the referee. Stripes are so his thing."

"Dude. What even–"

"No, but seriously, he'd be the referee. No one opposes Sado."

"Again. Have you two seen Kurosaki fight? Am I like the only one that has seen him?"

"Do you guys think he'll join the fight? He does have a soft spot for cute things, and knowing Kaicho his gift would be cute. And handmade."

"Don't ignore me, you bastards…"

"Well, shit. That'd be a bloodbath alright. Don't know if Kurosaki would win now."

"Sado is the power house, man. Nothing can stand between him and something cute."

"Unless it's another cute thing? Like Inoue?"

"…"

"…"

"Well, I'll be damned; Inoue-chan is the final winner."

"No way, I'd doubt she'd hit her friends! Inoue is the gentlest person I've ever met!"

"Dude, she wouldn't even have to pull up her fists. A puppy look and batting those lashes of hers are all she needs to do and all of them would be on the floor."

"Gentle and powerful. That's my type of woman."

"Ooh ho… trying to prove a point here, Asahi?"

"Heh. Looks like we'd be having the bloodbath after all. Kurosaki and Arisawa would mince you to the ground."

"Wow, Asahi is taking on Kurosaki over Inoue-chan? How brave."

"How stupid. It was nice knowing you, Asahi."

"Can I take your card collection when you're gone?"

"Can I date your nee-chan when you drop dead?"

"Bastards, don't talk like I'm already dead! And like hell I will!"

"Asahi. Let me clarify something. Kurosaki will plainly blink at you and you'll drop faster than rain."

"…shit."

"Still, can't get over how Ishida is playing everyone like that. Like, I regret ever voting for you, dude."

"His game is strong."

"He's a player."

"How dare you talk down Kaicho! He has Inoue, Kurosaki and Arisawa pining for him! He is my new hero!"

"Not to mention he has Sado for a bodyguard. Damn, you are dead, man."

"Again, stop talking like I ain't here, dammit!"

…&…

Veins erupted all over their faces.

"Are they even aware we can hear them?"

"I doubt that, Kurosaki."

"Muh..."

"I say you take one half, and Hime and I take the other."

"Eh? Where are we taking them, Tatsuki-chan?"

"To the hospital… With the pain-express."

"But Tatsuki-chaaaan! I just washed my uniform. I don't want to ruin it again!"

"Inoue, they basically said you'd beat up everyone for Ishida's stupid gift."

"It's not stupid, Kurosaki. It's handmade and very delicate."

"Again, I don't care."

"You should, it's for Yuzu-chan."

"Oh good. Come by the house, to meet the family properly. My old man will be so ecstatic meeting his future son-in-law."

"And that's exactly why I'm giving it to you to pass it."

"I ain't taking the stupid gift."

"Why?"

"It's pink, it clashes with my hair."

"Again, it's not your gift. Now you'll take it, give it to Yuzu-chan and say I liked her scarf, but the edges were a bit off, she'll have to work on that more, and you'll wipe that annoying smirk from your face or I'll bleach white your idiotic hair."

"Bastard, I'd like to see you try."

"Are you really up for it, Substitute?"

"Oh, it's fucking on, Quincy."

…&…

"See? So weird…"

"Again, no one gives a fuck, Yamamoto."

…&…