Defenseless

Hermione sat cross legged in front of the fire, a book open on her lap. Yes, she had definitely read that sentence about five times now. Hermione sighed, unfurling herself from the cozy couch. With a flick of her wand, the fire was out. As she made her way to the bedroom, she tried not to make a metaphor out of that thought.

/

Severus was currently stalking the halls, his customary scowl even more pronounced than usual. It was 2 am, and his nightly patrol had been over for three hours. He rubbed his eyes; he was tired but lately he hadn't been able to sleep. No, it wasn't related to dreams of his past or the war, innocent people's tormented faces floating into view. This was a terror of a different kind.

As he made his way around the Black Lake earlier in the evening, Severus had come close to giving up on everything, but he knew he was a fool. And giving up would make him an even bigger one.

Sighing, Severus turned his steps back to the dungeons. He may as well crawl back to bed, and steal what warmth he could from the woman sharing his bed.

/

Hermione felt listless and her usual girl's day out with Ginny didn't help. Especially as Ginny was currently floating on cloud nine, showing off her ring to anyone who hadn't already heard the story about how Philip had proposed.

When she returned, she sat down with a coffee in the staffroom and began marking some papers. Luna came in not long after and sat down opposite her. She tilted her head and studied her friend.

"So what has he done?"

Hermione lifted her head. "Who?"

"Severus. You haven't been seen together for a week. He practically lives in the hallways and you live in the staffroom." Luna pulled out a sugar quill from her satchel and sucked on it thoughtfully. "You know, I've been thinking of adding a relationship advice column to The Quibbler." She mused, offhandedly.

"Oh no, please Luna. I don't want to be your first problem child."

"Then tell me what's wrong and I promise I won't write it down. If you don't tell me what's wrong, I'll make up some story that will really embarrass you." She smiled a friendly smile when Hermione chuckled.

"I would tell you if I could, Luna. I don't know what's wrong!" Hermione gave an exasperated sigh. "Maybe he's bored of me… Maybe he's discovered he doesn't really want a relationship after all. I mean, he seemed to do okay on his own his whole life before I came along and ruined his solitude."

"He 'seemed to do okay'…?"

Hermione sighed. "Okay, maybe not. I don't know Luna…. Maybe it's just a phase." Hermione went back to her pile of work as Luna pulled out a draft of the next Quibbler and began to make changes.

/

When Hermione returned to the dungeons, Severus was sitting in his favorite armchair, staring into the fire.

After a week of, well of whatever this was, Hermione had had enough. She would much rather know what was going on than suffer through any more of this. She missed her Severus. There was no point continuing if it was making them both miserable.

"Severus?" She asked quietly. He didn't respond. Hermione took a deep breath. Just like a band-aid, Hermione… "Severus!"

His head snapped up. "Mm?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

Hermione lifted an eyebrow, a trick she had inadvertently learned from him, and stood a bit taller. "Something is clearly wrong. You avoid being around me as much as possible, we haven't said more than about five words to each other in the last week, let alone spent any quality time together."

Severus was watching her, dread starting to manifest in his chest.

"Look…." Hermione trailed off, afraid she wasn't as brave as she had thought. Quietly, she finished her thought, "If you don't want to be with me anymore, please just tell me. There's no point-"

But she couldn't finish her sentence because Severus had jumped up and grabbed her hand. "That's what you think…that I don't want to be with you?"

Hermione nodded, looking down at the space between them.

"Hermione… I…." Severus sighed. "I'm sorry."

Hermione looked up at him, her eyes large and brimming with unshed tears. "So…so you don't want to be with me?"

Severus dropped her hand, and turned away from her. He ran a hand through his hair.

Hermione sniffed and turned to go, thinking she would have to pack a bag and stay with Luna tonight. Her heart was on the floor in front of her, and she figured she may as well walk over it on her way out of the room. But she was halted by Severus speaking from the other side of the room.

"Hermione… I don't know… I don't know how to handle these things. And I don't know why you want to be with me…."

"There's no need to explain. I'm not going to make a scene."

"Hermione, please, just listen. Just…" He sighed, frustrated with his inability to figure out his emotions and his lack of conversation skills. Instead, he walked back over to Hermione and gently guided her into his vacated chair. He pulled a hanky from his trouser pockets. "Dry your eyes, my dear."

Hermione did as he bid and blew her nose. If he had something important to say, then she supposed she would hear him out.

"You see, no one has ever managed to get through my defenses. Not Albus or the Dark Lord. Not Lucius… not even Lily." His dark eyes stared down at Hermione. "But you, every defense…every wall… you just marched right through."

Hermione knew she had gotten too close to him; he was running scared now. Perhaps Ron was right; Severus was too emotionally damaged to keep up a meaningful relationship. She had scoffed at Ron then but now…. But Severus was still talking.

"So, I think… if you've managed to come this far, you may as well stay."

Hermione frowned. "I…I'm sorry?"

Severus turned and walked over to his desk in the corner, pulled out the top drawer, and walked back. "Hermione, I truly don't understand what I've done to deserve you, and I'll never believe that I could make you happy….but, would you marry me?"

Hermione swallowed, her eyes wide as he produced a small black box, and opened it, revealing a shiny…. Well, she assumed it was a ring, she didn't look. Instead, she flew up into his arms and hugged him so tight he thought he might not be able to breathe ever again.

But he didn't care. Hermione was in his arms, kissing him all over, crying, and whispering yes over and over, and he suddenly wondered why he had even spent a second worrying about this moment.

Hermione finally pulled back and smiled at him. "So this was the reason you were…."

"I'm such a fool, Hermione." Severus whispered contritely.

"Yes, I know. But you're my fool." As Severus slipped the ring on her finger, she smiled at him. "Forever and ever."

Happy Valentine's/Galentine's/Singles Awareness Day to all my lovely readers. This fic was written for my bestie, drakien.