Notes

I'm not shying away from the grungy in this. There will be references to drugs, a small amount of anal sex, G!P, Dubcon, adultery, neglect, rough play and who knows what else. Yes, in small doses but there it is. As for triggers: As someone who has been through the program, I won't lie. Some of the chapters were a little triggering for me but it's nothing too extreme.

I've had a handful of betas for this story! It's been a whirlwind!

Thank you to CreatedTheSoundOfMadness and SQ BookQueen.
This is an AU universe. It seems as though it follows canon but the deeper in you get the more you realize it's not canon.

In this fic there will be a few side scenes of Maleficent and Regina, though trust me, it's anything but romantic or love filled.
Despite what you may have heard, this is a Swan Queen story through and through.

Dedicated to Snowy.
You broke me, but there was a time that you also taught me. Safe journey, friend.

Just a note before we get started. This is a story of addiction and and redemption. You're going to have to get through five tons of unhappy and hard to get there, but hopefully you find this story worth it.

Part One

Regina

"And this is?"

Regina looked into the Solo cup with skeptical distaste, swirling the unnaturally red liquid. The drink had not as of yet made it past her lips, but already it smelled as though it had been sickly brought back up behind a dumpster on someone's drunken walk home - sticky sweet and disgusting.

The pale blond man chuckled, shifting from foot to foot with pleasure, clearly sure he had caught his prey of the evening early and, therefore, might have enough time to 'bag' this one and still find another. "Awe come on, you've had jungle juice before, everyone has. It's a college party staple."

"I told you that you could get me a drink. I did not, however, say you could poison me." She handed him back the cup and stepped past him, dismissing him entirely. She didn't miss his angry scoff.

"Let me guess," he called after her, "you're a Harvard girl!"

She continued across the room not bothering to slow her pace. She knew that was meant as an insult, but she couldn't exactly see how. He was right. She was studying at Harvard and proud of it. The imbecile didn't realize that he had just paid her a compliment.

Another gleaming smile caught her eye as she landed on the opposite side of the room. She scowled. This one, at least, was well dressed in a designer button-up and tie but…he was lounging against the beer keg as if it were his date for the night, constantly refilling his Solo cup.

No, thank you.

She brushed out her outfit, smoothing non-existent wrinkles.

What was she doing here? This was so unlike her. Look at these people – they weren't her people. She was nothing like them. Dancing, drinking, vomiting in the corners that weren't occupied by people cupping and groping in ways that she wasn't entirely comfortable with seeing. She was a professional. Or at least, she was on her way to becoming one. She had aspirations to fulfill back in her little hometown. What had possessed her? She didn't do parties – it was not how she had been raised.

But of course, she knew without truly questioning herself what had brought her here. It had been those piercing grey eyes. Those piercing grey eyes that had stared at her, daring her to be something other than what she was. ... And those stupid lips, so full, always painted a light pink no matter how many shades of hungover those grey eyes were. Those stupid pink lips that looked as though they would taste of soft cotton candy and light cigarette smoke.
And Regina had gone, too stubborn to admit to her tutee that no, she didn't have a wild side. As a matter of fact, she had never possessed one or had any interest in possessing one.
Well.
Maybe that last part wasn't entirely true.

She turned from the man at the keg before he could approach, her frustration building. Surely, if you were going to dare a person to show up to a place like this you could, at least, have the decency to be there. Where the hell was she?

"You look like you're looking for someone." A new man had appeared beside her with two drinks in hand and looking annoyingly hopeful.

"How astute of you." She deadpanned, flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

"Well, what does he look like? Maybe I can help you find him."

"Actually no I–" she reluctantly turned to him but was instantly, and thankfully, distracted by the sight over his shoulder.
There she was.
She was standing behind a horizontal pyramid of red Solo cups with a small redhead locked possessively around her. The redhead was suggestively and openly caressing her while she studied her next move, her arm in the air ready to launch the small plastic ball across the table.

"Hey, come on, throw the ball already." The woman across the beer pong table called in a show of very bad sportsmanship.

She flipped her the middle finger and fired her ball. It traitorously bounced off of the rim of the cup and away into the watching crowd.

"That's bullshit!" She bellowed. As Regina watched, she took the cigarette dangling from the lips of the tall, dark and handsome man next to her in full eyeliner and foundation.

"You could have just asked, love." He sighed, lighting another one and whispered something to the smaller, stockier man next to him.

The small white ball flew toward the blonde's cup, hitting the inner rim and spinning. Quickly the woman plunged two fingers in, fishing the ball out and yelling triumphantly when it skittered away. The crowd around her broke into cries of 'hey', 'no way' and 'cheater'!

"Fingering and blowing, Mal," the husky man next to her opponent growled. "Men finger, bitches blow."

"Yeah well this bitch doesn't blow much of anything." She thrust her two beer soaked fingers into her mouth and slowly pulled them back, letting her tongue slip between them with a suggestive wink at her female challenger.

Regina flushed, a wave of heat covering her from head to toe.

"That who you're looking for?" The button up asked, bringing her back to him. He was staring with interest as the redhead openly cupped one of Mal's breasts, doing her best to distract the other team.

"Uh, I suppose." Regina cleared her throat, uncomfortably.

"Ahhh." The man nodded as if he suddenly understood everything. "Mal!" he cried, waving in Regina's direction. "You've got a live one."

From under the rim of her charcoal Fedora, the smoky grey eyes rolled toward the sound of her name. They easily found the man then quickly flicked to Regina beside him. For just a moment Mal seemed genuinely stunned. One eyebrow rose slowly and Regina's flush burned all the brighter in her cheeks. She squirmed in place under that gaze, unable to hold still. After a long, torturous moment, Mal stood, smashing her cigarette into a very full ashtray and dismissively pushed the redhead forward to play the next turn. Regina saw the redhead scowl behind the blonde's back.

Regina felt her back straighten instantly, ready for the woman's approach, her hammering nervously in her chest.
Only, Mal didn't come toward her. Instead, eyes locked onto Regina's nervous ones, she went to the small kitchen and greeted a few other women. She leaned against the sink and lit another cigarette. She adjusted the pant leg of her skintight hung-low-from-the-hip jeans and the grey mini vest, covering not quite all of her bare pale skin. She took a swig of her beer, finishing it off and then dropping the bottle into the garbage. All of this while blatantly holding Regina's gaze and as much as Regina wanted to, she found that she could not look away.
Finally, with a smirk, Mal poured and took a shot of an amber liquid, not seeming to care which bottle it came from, and started over in her direction.

The wait had only made Regina more anxious. Her heart skipped a few times, but she stood her ground, refusing to show just how out of place she knew she was. She couldn't stop herself from clearing her throat though, once, twice, her hands folding politely in front of her.

"You came." The amused grey eyes swept her body. "You look like you're ready to walk into fucking court, but you came." The limber eyebrow twitched and settled. "I would have put money on you being a no-show."

Regina's mouth opened, but she found she had nothing to say. "I uh," was all she managed.

Mal grinned, clearly enjoying Regina's fluster as her hand traced just inside the no-nonsense belt at Regina's waist. "Let's get you a drink, shall we?"

Regina's eyes narrowed for a moment but she nodded once, allowing herself to be pulled by the belt back toward the kitchen.

Mal poured two red Solo cups of the red slosh and handed one over to her. "Careful with that. Will makes a mean jungle juice. It'll get the job done."

In her nervous state Regina nodded, chugged the glass, and then frowned at the empty cup, unsure of where it had gone.

Mal just dryly smiled, watching her as though she were an entertaining sideshow. Carefully she took the cup from her and refilled it.

"Mal, come on, we're waiting!" The stocky man grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the beer pong table, hips shaking effeminately as he went. Regina followed because she had no idea what else to do and planted herself next to Mal and the redheaded stranger.
"Will, Regina. Regina, Will." Mal gestured vaguely between the two of them.

Brown eyes swept over Regina, taking in her polite red button up and black slacks. Seeming to decide that he liked what he saw, he smiled and kissed her cheek. "This is my boyfriend, Killian." The smoldery eyelinered man just looked down at her from under his lashes, appraising.

"What is this?" she gestured to the table before them.

"Never played beer pong?"

"Excuse me? Of course not. Why would that be something I would ever do? Why would that be something anyone would ever do?"

Mal rolled her eyes and forced the ball into her hand. "Because it's fun. You know – fun? Or do mommy and daddy not allow you to have any of that?"

Did she ever speak out of that monotone? Regina watched her face, scowling. Every word seemed to hang slightly dead from her lips – god, it was attractive, pulling at the deepest part of her.

Okay, so Regina knew she was gay – she had recently wrapped her head around that much. But the idea she would find someone so undeniably attractive so quickly after that realization had rocked her, especially in realizing it was this rude, barely passing girl she was tutoring.

Her mother would never approve.

Mal spun her, forcing her hips toward the table and began raspily whispering instructions in her ear. Regina couldn't concentrate with the girl this close to her; she couldn't think, she couldn't breathe. Another cup made it into her hand and she downed it quickly, simply so she didn't have to turn her face toward the beautiful grey-eyed girl. When Mal was done explaining she had caught almost nothing – something about elbows and throwing the ball into the other person's cup – okay, she could do this. Aim for the cup.

She concentrated hard on the middle cups, but just as she let her arm spring to throw she felt a hand wrap around her hip, clutching sensually at her lower belly. Regina yelped and the little plastic ball shot straight at the face of the woman across from her. Mal roared with laughter, cigarette bopping between her lips.

"Very funny, Maleficent. Aren't you supposed to be on my team?"

"Sorry dear, couldn't resist."

The brutality of the game hit home as they quickly began to lose, white balls soaring into their red cups as if they were magnetically attracted to them. The sulky redhead had disappeared, that or Mal had gotten rid of her; Regina didn't know.

"Isn't the entire point of the night to get drunk?" Regina asked as she coughed, the second to last cup on the table having just poured itself down her throat. "Therefore, can we really say that being forced to drink is losing?"

Mal laughed as the last ball found the last cup. "Depends on your point of view. Here," she took the remnants of the other team's cups, split the four into two and gave her one, "can you get this down in under a minute?"

Regina's eyes narrowed, seeing the challenge.

She did. The sticky sweet liquid coating her throat like foul cough syrup in her effort to get it down.

She coughed and spluttered but she got it down.

They played another game, this time with beer and by the end, Regina couldn't tell her ass from her hat. She was drunk. They had also lost this game and her stomach swirled with a mix of beer and the iconic Jungle Juice.

"Enough of that." Mal turned away from the table when they had finished the cups and led her, by the belt, into the crowd of people dancing. "Come on."

Surrounded by strangers, Mal's hips began to swing.
Regina froze.
"Oh, don't tell me you're shy."

Will and Killian appeared on either side of her, their hands forcing her hips into action. Regina laughed, loving the attention and gave in.

She stumbled, blissfully giggling as they danced with Will and Killian for a long while, slipping between the arms of the gay men and Mal's embrace.

She hadn't arrived at the party until late so it was turning into early morning when Mal pulled her outside.
"Haven't you been smoking inside all night?"

"And now I want to smoke outside."

Regina snorted but leaned heavily against the railing of the patio facing the woman that had become her sort of date for the evening.

"Are you having fun, Regina, dear?"

"Strangely," she nodded, trying to clear her foggy head, "yes. I never do things like this."

"Hmm, perhaps you should more often."

Regina chuckled, plucking up her courage and taking the cigarette from Mal's lips. She didn't know why she had done it. She had smoked a cigarette only once while away at boarding school and she had hated it. She took a deep pull and tried not to turn purple at the burn.

Mal crossed her arms, intrigue evident on her face. "That went from my mouth to yours."

"And?"

"So. Basically. We just French kissed."

A cloud of smoke erupted from Regina as she choked, looking as though someone had just caught her on fire.

Mal took the cigarette back, holding Regina's eyes as she put the tip back into her mouth and seductively sucked.

Regina's insides squirmed.

"How many women have you been with, Regina?"

"What?" Her eyes were still streaming from the smoke. She definitely was not ready for that question. "Who says I have been with or want to be with a woman?" Mal just stared; eyes level and Regina found herself spitting a number. "Three."

She was lying, of course, but there was no way she would admit her innocence.

Mal shrugged acknowledgement. "And you want me to be number four."

Regina choked on her drink, spilling a small amount down her chin. "Blunt. That was blunt."

Mal leaned in close, wiping the juice from her lips with her thumb and then pointedly placed her thumb in her own mouth.

Regina quivered as Mal's body pressed close, so close she could feel the heat pouring off of her. "Who says - who says - I want to sleep with you?" Everything about her betrayed her, her palms sweat, her breath caught, a white-hot chill flashed across her skin as Mal continued to press, daring, challenging her to deny it. She had never felt this before, this intense longing; she wanted to pull the woman to her and run away at the same time.

"Tell me…" Regina's body shook as Mal's smoky breath tickled hotly across her cheek and chin, "that you don't want everything I could offer you."

That did it, she reached for her needing to quench her thirst, throw water on the flames else they would consume her.

"Hey, Mal."

Mal pulled back, away from Regina's lips before they could touch, a look of teasing pleasure in her eyes. "Just a moment, dear."

She turned and watched as a brunette man conga'd a train of people their way, laughing as his head rolled on his shoulders, his eyes a strange orange.

Regina stared.
"Little gift from me to you." He dropped something that Regina couldn't see into Mal's palm.

"Yer a saint, Johnny. A fucking saint!" Mal winked pulling Regina back to her. "Bottoms up."

She only had a moment to see the little white pill before it disappeared past her lips.

"What is that?"

Mal laughed, fingering the second little tablet. "Just a little X-rated party favor."

"Ecstasy?"

A small chuckle rose from Mal as the girl slowly rubbed her nose over Regina's jaw, sending shocks of static straight to the apex of Regina's leg, nimble fingers leafing gently up and down her thigh. "Not – exactly."

"But it's drugs?"

"It's…Magic." Mal pulled back and Regina could see a lightly mauve glow beginning in Mal's irises.

"Wha-"

"Lighten up, Regina. Have some fun with me." She gasped as she felt Mal's cold fingers pull her blouse from the waist of her pants and gently slip under, ever so slightly toying at the skin of her stomach.

She wasn't sure she was comfortable with this, but the pull of Mal's skittering fingers was intoxicating - or perhaps it was simply that at this moment Regina would have done anything as long as Mal's body stayed pressed against hers like this.

Besides, she found herself wondering, what if it's fun? She had been good all of her fucking life, doing exactly what mother and father had wanted her to do. Maybe it was time to have some fun instead? Pleasure filled her as she decided to do something that her parentage would disapprove of.

"Hmm?" Mal asked, placing the little tablet on the tip of her tongue.

Regina's breath shuddered from her as those hands popped the middle buttons of her shirt and began to slowly slip through the gap; a small "oh god" falling from her lips as cold fingers slithered into the cup of her bra.

Mal grinned knowingly.

Regina froze, sensations on overload as Mal leaned in close, pausing just before her lips to deliberately make her wait. Regina's breath caught and then picked up pace in anticipation, palms locking tightly on the back of Mal's neck as her eyes closed, mouth parting of its own volition, waiting and ready.

It wasn't Mal's lips that touched hers but instead, her tongue independently slipped past Regina's lips, making her breath slam from her chest in a low moan and her palms clutch tighter.

A small chuckle brushed her as the tongue slipped softly past her own, depositing the tablet underneath and then pressed ever so lightly on top, holding it in place for a few beats as the pill melted. Then Mal's lips were on hers, tongues caressing and Regina gasped, closing the distance between them hotly.

Mal's hands glanced over her body and Regina found she didn't care that they were in public, she just wanted her clothing off. She just wanted to feel this girl's lips on every part of her.

"Come on." Mal grinned a dry, pleased grin and pulled her back onto the dance floor where Will and Killian still bopped and whirled together. Regina giggled happily as she found herself sandwiched between the two boys, hips shaking as Michael Jackson swore Billie Jean was not his lover.

"Hey, Will," Killian whispered as the foursome slid together perhaps a little more suggestively than Regina normally would have allowed, "you know what would be totally hot?"

"What?" Deep interest sparked across Killian's face as he brushed his lips across Will's shoulder.

"Watching these two touch each other. I think tonight might finally be the night."

"Oh, my god, it would!" Will giggled, winking to a shocked Regina.

Mal's eyebrow popped, enveloping Regina possessively in her arms and burying her face in her neck. Regina gasped. "I don't know. I don't think Pollyanna here could handle it."

Regina looked between them, shocked. "A four-way?" Regina frowned, "Aren't you - gay?" She felt Mal's hand travel up the back of her thigh and breathlessly turned to her. "Aren't you gay?"

The group shared a small laugh at the girl's naivety. "We don't want to touch you, love." Killian rolled his eyes as though she were the silliest little thing on the planet.

"We just do our...thing...while they do theirs." Mal explained, biting Regina's bottom lip just hard enough to cause pain. "It's exciting, kind of a share in the energy thing. We're all still gay." Mal turned back to her friends. "You've been talking about doing it forever. Did you grow some - balls?"

Regina couldn't decide what she was feeling. She was repulsed…of course, that went without saying. She did not behave in such a manner. Still, she felt a shiver of something else float through her as Will and Mal kissed deeply, then grinned at their playful behavior. Her mind was beginning to grow fuzzy, her skin starting to burn. The pounding music around them seemed to echo deep in her core; her thoughts, their words were becoming more and more difficult to process.

Grey eyes flashed to Regina's and Mal didn't ask, she could see the intrigue in her face. Silently she pulled Regina by the hand into the anonymous bedroom of the party thrower. Without hesitation, she pressed her to the wall and Regina sighed.

"Are you sure?"

Regina opened her mouth but her thoughts were fuzzy and what slipped out instead was a loud snarl of a groan as hands cupped her ass aggressively, hungry lips finding hers again. She felt – different.

Will shared in Regina's moan of pleasure as the women kissed, behind them Killian's lips pressed against his boyfriend's chest. The soft moans of the other couple safely across the room - the couple that had no desire to touch or to taste her - energized Regina. She sucked in a breath and tasted something she had never tasted before, something that reminded her of Maleficent's scent. It was forbiddingly exciting and invigoratingly terrifying. There was no way she would be the one to back down.

Mal leaned back, smirking as Regina's lips tried to hungrily follow and frowned when they separated. Mal bit her lip and popped the buttons of her vest. Regina gasped, hands going instantly to the large tattoo of the dragon covering the woman's ribcage. She touched it softly and the dragon stretched, purring as it was pet, a small puff of smoke escaping its snout. Regina felt her mouth drop open in surprise.

Mal began to unbutton her shirt as Regina stared, transfixed. Her small gasps became long pants as a psychedelic wave of pleasure rolled over her, setting her skin to pins and needles. Mal softly bit into the flesh at the top of her cleavage, her hand finally finding the apex of her pants and rubbing.

Behind them, eyes dark, Killian crawled over Will's legs and quickly, ravenously began to unbutton his jeans.

A/N

Gonna warn you now, this story has a lot of small and stupid errors from over-editing. What I mean is there are a lot of spots where a word was accidentally dropped or I changed a sentence somewhere along the way from talking about a group of women to a single woman and forgot to change the E to an A.
Feel free, if you notice a moment like this, to comment and give me the messed up sentence if you feel so inclined. I won't be offended. Or, hopefully sometime soon I'll be able to go through this and give it a good edit myself.