Summary: everyone has a soulmate, but their marks are sealed as they enter the academy. The seals are only to be released when one passes the jonin exam, or when one turns the legal age of twenty.

She could still feel the cold burst of chakra seeping into her bloodstream.

They'd promised that it wouldn't hurt. And Sakura supposed that they were right – there was no pain. But when she saw the seal inking her skin, there was a terrible loneliness.

"This is stupid," the blonde boy muttered behind her. "I don't even have a soul mate."

At twelve, she decided that he was selfish. He was only saying these things to weasel his way out of the mandatory procedure.

At sixteen, she realized the truth. They were a day out of fire country. The stars were bright. Sai was asleep and Kakashi was reading by the fire. The moon was hanging lazily in the night. She held her arm up to the sky, staring at the black circle on her pulse.

"Do you think about it a lot?" His voice thrust her back into reality – away from her desires, where she had her fingers tangled in hair the same color as the mark on her wrist.

"Go to sleep Naruto," she whispered. "You have second watch."

She heard him rustle around in his sleeping bag, then felt his hair tickle her ears.

"We have the same one," he said triumphantly, placing his wrist next to hers. She smacked her fist against his head.

"Everyone does," she sighed. "This seal prevents our actual marks from showing."

She saw his grin falter. "Isn't that nicer though?"

"If we didn't have soul mates?" she asked softly. The first time she entertained that thought was three years ago, when she woke up alone on the stone bench. She had been so convinced that Sasuke was hers. But maybe he didn't belong to anyone.

The second time was when she raised her kunai to drive it through his heart. But maybe she belonged to him.

"Yeah," Naruto replied. There was a somberness in his tone that she'd never heard before. "I mean, if I had one, why have I been so alone?"

She stole a glance at his face and immediately wished that she hadn't. There was only innocence in his expression, not even a hint of revenge clouding his blue eyes. She wondered if she could love him if he was broken. But maybe she already did.

Sakura wanted him to see her. She wanted him to look past the boy who had abandoned them both. But they were all so tightly intertwined; she was convinced that he could never love her without the reflection of Sasuke. She was the same. Perhaps they all were, and this was the only way in which they were equals. She may have been able to cause earthquakes with her fist but Naruto would lead their world some day.

And she would never be able to see the world through his perspective. He knew how to see the good in people, while all she knew was how to chase shadows. He was stronger than she could ever hope to be, and this knowledge weighed heavy on her heart.

Because Sakura was tired of reaching for the moon. But when she finally turned toward a star, she realized it was the sun: she couldn't touch him without destroying herself.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto said finally. And this was the way she would always remember him. His eyes were bright, strong with conviction. "If I were to have a soul mate, I wish it would be you."

She waited until his eyes closed and breathing slowed before replying.

"I hope it's not me," she whispered. The girl had begged for darkness but when the universe finally came around, she didn't want it anymore. But it was too late. Her fingers ghosted across the identical seal on his wrist. "Because you deserve better."

She was eighteen when Tsunade presented her with a choice.

"Do you want to release the seal?"

Technically, Sakura had the necessary chakra control to release it years ago. She had stopped herself every time. When students entered the academy, they received the seals for a reason. Cases of having a soul mate in another village were slim, but not unheard of. Seeing your mark on an enemy was the kind of distraction that could be lethal so precautions were made to seal the marks on shinobi, only to be released when they turned twenty or when they became jonin.

And she had passed her test with flying colors.

"Don't feel pressure to make your decision now. You know I think that this concept of soul mates is outdated," Tsunade said. Sakura caught the hardened expression on the older woman's features. It was one that came from losing too many people she loved. Sakura wondered whether she would ever look the same. Perhaps she already did.

"It really only matters to the clans anymore, but it's an important tradition. Take your time."

"Shishou," she murmured hesitantly. "Is it possible to not release the seal all?"

"Like teacher like student," Tsunade mused. Ignoring Sakura's confused expression, she opened a new bottle of sake then gestured toward the door. "Talk to Kakashi."

She found him reading under the sun.

"Kakashi-sensei, could I talk to you for a minute?"

He placed his Icha Icha Paradise carefully on the ground before turning to look at her. She decided she would never become used to seeing two eyes instead of one.

"I always have time for my favorite student," he said lightly.

She ignored his attempt at flattery and sat down beside him. His body was surprisingly warm beside hers, and she wondered how long he'd been there lying in the field. It was strange to see him in such a neutral location. Throughout her life, she'd only ever seen him during training, missions, in the hospital, or by the cenotaph. Now she found herself struggling to confine him into spheres. He wasn't her teacher anymore. He really hadn't been for years now. Neither was he her teammate. Team Kakashi had officially been disbanded and recently, the familiarity she'd always felt with him was wearing thin.

Sakura couldn't articulate what specifically had changed, but something had shifted. There were unnatural thoughts racing through her head: maybe she was sitting too close to him, maybe it wasn't appropriate to be invading his personal time, maybe he still saw her as weak.

Maybe he wanted her to leave.

But his voice was gentle as he asked her if everything was okay, and suddenly she was twelve again, crying by the river because the sun had set and the moon was hidden behind dark clouds. Only lightning would come to guide her home.

"Shishou told me to come speak with you."

"Is it about becoming Hokage? Because I already told her my response."

"Not this time," she said. "It's about our seals."

The untrained eye wouldn't have seen him flinch. But he was the one who taught her to look underneath the underneath.

"Ah," he breathed. "What about it?"

Her eyes automatically searched his left wrist. The space was covered with his glove. She'd known him for six years and had never seen it. Then again, she barely knew anything about him at all.

"I don't want to release it."

Kakashi adjusted his gaze, forcing himself to look past the little girl he used to would have jumped at the opportunity to find her soul mate. Love was the only thing she cared about, after all. This Sakura was different. For her, love might have been the furthest thing from her mind. He wondered when she had become such a mystery.

"Are you scared?" he asked gently. But this was the wrong question. Her hands clenched into fists, and a burst of uncontrolled chakra caused a crack in the earth beneath them.

"No," she snapped. And after a pause, "I don't know."

He observed the myriad of emotions flickering across her face. There were certain regrets in his life, and she was one of them. There was a space that lay between them – one he had never even tried to fill.

Sometimes he would catch her serene gaze toward the gates and failed to recognize to whom those green eyes belonged. Other times she would meet his stare, and he forgot how to breathe. It wasn't her overwhelming strength or beauty; the traits that intimidated boys who would speak of her in hushed tones as she passed them in the streets.

No, it was an overwhelming guilt that she triggered within him. He told himself that it was the same guilt from almost a decade ago, stemming from his abandonment of her as a student. He refused to entertain the idea of it being something else.

And Kakashi had always been good at playing pretend.

"When I turned twenty I asked the Hokage to keep it sealed," he said finally. "But the Sandaime denied my request. Rules are rules."

Sakura wasn't surprised by his refusal to release the seal. It would only force an opportunity to create another connection he would lose. One thing she knew was that his old team had died, leaving him scarred – literally. The night shishou drunkenly told her of Kakashi's past, she finally felt a semblance of understanding for the man she called her sensei.

"Have you found them?" she asked hesitantly. "Your soul mate."

He didn't reply. When she turned to face him, she saw his eyes were focused on some place far away. She could count on one hand the number of times she'd ever had the opportunity to claim his full attention. Now, she supposed, was one of them. Over the years she had learned that just because she wasn't in his vision didn't mean that she wasn't in his thoughts.

This was a twisted, broken man. But he strangely didn't evoke any pity. Perhaps it was because he carried himself in such a strong manner. Or maybe it was because she'd seen enough of him to know that someone like her couldn't pity a man like him. Naruto, Sasuke-kun, and Kakashi-sensei were three people that she could never be on equal footing with. She was still trying to find peace with that.

"I'm not searching," he said. "It seems pointless to find someone and limit them to me when I might die tomorrow."

"But maybe you're not limiting them. Maybe you're finally completing them," she said. Her cheeks were flushed, and he could see the embarrassment in her expression. But he could also see the strong defiance, and his eyes creased in an involuntary smile. It was rare – especially recently, he knew – to catch a glimpse of what was simmering within Sakura's heart.

"I don't want to complete them," he shrugged. "It's nice to feel needed but not in that way."

He could see surprise flit across her features. She hadn't been expecting him to be so frank with her about such this subject. All she'd known from him in the past were lies, lies, and more lies. But there was something in her serious gaze that compelled him to respond appropriately.

When they had formed team seven, Kakashi remembered her harnessing the most determination to see his face. He supposed it was fitting that out of his students, she was the one that he would allow a glimpse of what lay beneath his mask.

"So what happens now?"

"Now you release the seal," he said while raising Icha Icha Paradise back to eye level. "You have time, and you have the necessary skill to choose when."

She stood up and adjusted her skirt. He could hear the rustle of fabric, and the difference in sound as her fingers brushed the skin of her thighs.

"Thank you Kakashi-sensei," she smiled.

He watched her walk away with a tight feeling in his chest. He didn't know where it came from or what it was, but it lingered long after she was gone.

Maybe he wanted her to stay.

It was the night before her twentieth birthday when he found her drunkenly stumbling out of the bar.

"You're not old enough to drink yet," he said.

She blinked rapidly before finally managing to focus her gaze on him. "I'll be legal in three hours."

Kakashi would have questioned her further – why she was out alone, for starters – but he was suddenly forced to grasp her arm to prevent her from falling to the ground instead.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

There was too much concern in his voice and her green eyes turned to ice as she snarled, "Don't treat me like I'm a child."

"Then stop acting like one," he responded. She made a move to escape his grip but he held on tight. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

He heard the hum of her chakra and dodged her fist just in time. Sakura's punch collided with the concrete behind him instead. The moment the wall turned to rubble, her knees gave out and she sat down. Her eyes were unfocused on the ground by his feet, and he decided to sit across from her rather than attempt to forcefully carry her home. He didn't want to be remembered as the Hokage that was killed by his old student.

"If you needed a drinking partner all you had to do was ask," he said lightly.

She hummed softly in return and began drawing patterns in the dirt with her gloved hands. Kakashi stayed quiet, knowing that with Sakura, silence could be the greatest weapon.

"I'm turning twenty tomorrow," she said finally. "It's mandatory to release the seal."

His eyes turned to her hands. Sakura hadn't worn gloves for years now. With her chakra control and medical abilities, having bare hands proved to be more effective. But her hands were clothed in black gloves now, covering her wrists.

"You did it on your own," he realized.

"Kakashi-sensei," she said his name like it was something to hold onto. "I'm so stupid."

As he reached out to pat her head with his own gloved hand, tears fell freely from her eyes. Those eyes that he recently had trouble recognizing were now so familiar. Suddenly they were back to the day she was twelve and team seven was training in the forest. Naruto and Sasuke were absorbed in their own rivalry and had left her behind; only he was left to guide her home. She had cried then and she had cried since. But there wasn't a single instance in which he thought her tears were a sign of weakness. Sakura had the strength to be vulnerable.

All he knew was how to grieve for the dead.

"There was a part of me that always thought ours would match," she murmured. He watched her draw out the Uchiha clan symbol. "But they don't. And I thought it wouldn't matter, that it wouldn't hurt to know the truth. I was so wrong."

Her shoulders were trembling and it wasn't from the cold.

"Soul mates are an outdated concept," Kakashi said firmly. "People don't care about them anymore. It doesn't matter that yours don't match."

"Of course it does," she hissed. There was a venom in her stance that he'd only seen in war. But perhaps this was a battle for her. "Since I was a child, I've been chasing after him. My whole life has been defined by his existence and I thought that if we were soul mates, that if we were meant to be together – "

"That it would be justified," he finished.

The broken look in her eyes reminded him of his own past. There were details about his life that would never be written down concretely in files, and this was one of them. Rin was only a chunin when she died. Her mark should have remained an unsolved mystery. But no one mentioned that the seal would fail to function in death. In dreams Kakashi couldn't remember her face, but he could always remember the lightning that had marked her wrist.

"I only wanted there to be some kind of fulfillment. That sounds selfish doesn't it?" she laughed dryly. "I wanted some kind of reward for saving him. But I wasn't the one who brought him back from the darkness. It was Naruto. It's always Naruto."

"Sometimes being selfish is the only way we can stay alive," he murmured.

She watched the distant look in his hooded eyes. He wasn't here with her anymore; he was reliving the past, living in the kind of memories that caused him to visit the memorial every day.

"What have you done?" she asked. "Tell me, Kakashi-sensei. What was your most selfish act?" The words were a bold challenge, fueled by an innate curiosity and the alcohol that still tainted her tongue.

He met her gaze once more, and she could feel him measuring her. Not in the way a predator would size their prey. It was something else entirely, causing goosebumps to raise her skin.

"I've never looked at my mark," he said. "They released my seal but I refused to see it. I've always kept it covered with my glove."

His greatest fear was that the mark on his wrist would match Rin's. He'd been careful not to see Obito's seal. It was irrational, he knew. They were both dead now. Whether they were soul mates was irrelevant. But he had already stolen her heart and destroyed it with his Raikiri, just as he did with Obito's. He couldn't – wouldn't – be cause for their separation both in life and in death.

"What if they're waiting for you?" Sakura demanded. "Your soul mate might be waiting to find you. They might be wasting their life chasing after you, a man who has barely ever thought about them."

She knew that the anger laced in her words was unfair. It shouldn't have been directed at him. She was lashing out because she was hurt and frustrated. Because she knew that out of everyone, only he would be able to embrace the force of her blow.

"That's why it's the most selfish thing I've ever done," he said lowly.

He was defeated. The weight of his explanation had drained him, and Sakura was forced to remember that this was a man. Kakashi was not a God as, the legends made him out to be.

"We're only human," she said.

And for the first time – only as he creased his eyes to return her hesitant smile – did he forget the burden weighing heavily on his wrist.

The next time he found her drunk was at Naruto's wedding reception. She was sitting at the open bar, nursing a drink too strong for an occasion so celebratory.

"They're soul mates," she said as he slid into a seat beside her. "They both have a red scarves as marks."

He heard the trace of bitterness in her tone but decided not to question it. All he wanted was a warm bottle of sake, and to hopefully be a better balm for her old wounds than alcohol. Kakashi was not a particularly compassionate man – he grew up in ANBU after all – but this was his favorite student. And she always had a habit of finding her way underneath his skin. It was a fact he could acknowledge, but would never explore.

"Are you looking?" he asked.

"No. And I don't really care."

"That's interesting," he said lightly. But she saw right through him.

"I know you think I'm faking it but I really don't," she snapped. "Even if I wanted to look for them, I wouldn't know where to start. Besides, what's the point if it doesn't match with any of the people I really care about."

Kakashi glanced at the dance floor, where Hinata was leading her husband through a traditional dance. He contemplated whether they would have found each other if the concept of soul mate markings didn't exist. She had never really been in his line of vision. But those were not thoughts meant for a wedding, he decided. They were thoughts suited for traveling alone in uncharted territories – much like the other member of team seven was doing. He wondered if the two truly understood how much space they occupied within Sakura's heart.

"Ah," he sighed. "So you don't care about me?"

Her reaction to the joke was as expected. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, gracing him with a small smile.

"Of course I do," she murmured. "But how would I know if we match? I've never seen your mark."

"That makes two of us," he said. She finally rewarded him with her laughter, and he creased his eyes in return. She was the only one he'd ever genuinely wanted to be happy. Kakashi told himself that it was a parental instinct that existed within him because he'd known her since childhood. It couldn't be anything else.

Naruto came to call them over for the group picture, and as the photographer arranged them, he found himself almost suffocated amidst the crowd. He shifted to move towards the back, but there was a hand holding him firmly in place.

He turned around and caught a glimpse of pink hair.

"Sakura – "

"Can you stay here?" she whispered. "Please."

There was something about him that calmed her, made her feel confident within her own skin – his presence had the ability to make her become the best version of herself. Sakura told herself that it was because he had been her teacher since before she knew how to walk on trees. It couldn't be anything else.

But as she searched for the strength to smile, she found herself reaching for his hand. She would rationalize her actions later as an attempt to seek comfort. In the moment, all she knew was that the feel of her fingers intertwined with his was the only way to steady her thundering heartbeat.

He pulled their hands behind his back as the photographer continued to take pictures. There were two thoughts on his mind: one was that this was inexplicably wrong, and the other was that nothing else with her had ever felt so right.

He first saw Sakura's mark while she was healing him.

He was returning from a diplomatic mission to Suna when they were ambushed. Kakashi knew he could have escaped unharmed if he had followed the instructions of the ANBU guards. And although he was never meant for the passive role of Hokage, it had been so long since he had faced battle.

The result was a deep gash in his chest from a poisoned blade. The medic with the envoy didn't have the necessary knowledge to expel the toxins from his systems, and thus he had been delivered to the operating table of Konoha's best medic-nin.

"…so careless," she snarled while applying her hands glowing green to his wound. "Do you have any idea how important you are?"

In his haze of consciousness, Kakashi wondered whether it would be inappropriate to ask how important he was to her. Not as his position of Hokage, but just as himself. It was a dangerous thought.

"I'm fine now, thank you." He attempted to sit up but she pressed her hand against his left cheek and forced him back down on the cool metal surface.

"I'm not finished with you yet," she snapped.

"You're not wearing your gloves," he said while tracing his fingers against the mark he discovered on her wrist: the earth shattering, presumably under her fist.

"Just concentrate on resting."

"It's fitting," Kakashi continued, ignoring her. "Demonstrative of your strength."

He said the words with such gusto that she felt her lips curve into a smile. Nothing really swelled her pride more than hearing him acknowledge her strength. She wondered if it stemmed from his abandonment of her while she was his student. Or was it something else entirely? It was a dangerous thought.

"I think the pain killers are kicking in," Sakura said softly.

Although the sensation of having foreign chakra in his system normally rendered him uncomfortable, the feel of her chakra flowing through his bloodstream was soothing, working like a drug to loosen his lips. At least that was the only explanation for what he would say next.

"You're too good for him," he breathed. Kakashi himself wasn't entirely sure who he was talking about. It could have been Sasuke, Naruto, or her soul mate – whoever it would be. All Kakashi knew in this moment, through the haze of bright lights and overpowering scent of medicine, was that he could not accept a world in which she was not smiling beside him.

But perhaps he was not good enough either.

He could see the surprise etched in her features, and he flinched under the sudden uncontrolled burst of chakra that entered his chest.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. He could feel her quickly working to heal the muscle damage. He could see the hooded look in her eyes as she moved her hands to his. He could hear the world fall silent as she asked, "Can I see yours?"

Her fingers traced the edge of his gloved hand.

"Why?" He was suddenly aware of their proximity. She was so close; the distance between them barely existed. But perhaps it had been this way for a while now and he simply hadn't noticed. Perhaps he'd been pretending for too long.

"You've seen mine now. It would only be fair," she said lowly. Her hair brushed his forehead, and he found himself staring into green eyes that had only looked at him like this in nightmares.

It was an act of defiance. Because there should have been a million reasons to refuse crossing his mind, but there was only one he could think of one: the fear that their marks would not be a match. She awakened something terrible in him, a sensation he associated with dreams he could only call nightmares because it was so wrong. Showing her his mark would be an end, he told himself.

Maybe she would finally stop haunting his sleep.

Kakashi kept his gaze on her, as he pulled away his glove. His career was based upon him being observant, but he could see no change in her expression. She quietly covered his mark with the black cloth once more and returned his stare with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"That wasn't that hard, was it?"

And as she turned away, he thought he saw her hands shaking.

The first time he saw his own mark was a mistake.

He had been training with Naruto in the place they had conducted their second bell test. It was a location associated with a variety of memories, but most strongly, memories of her strength. He remembered smugly hiding beneath the ground, being caught completely off guard when she had parted the earth above his head. This was the first moment that he was forced to finally acknowledge her strength. And at the same time, he was forced to face his failings – because he had ignored her potential in favor of the boys. It was a mistake he would never forgive himself for, and Kakashi wondered if she ever would.

Maybe she already had.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

He heard Naruto's warning but barely had time to react. The rasengan was coming at him full force, and his only strategy of defense was to use the skill he was most familiar with: chidori.

But Kakashi was unprepared, and he could feel the electric chakra burning his skin and consequently burning through his gloves. He was propelled backwards and against a tree. The impact caused him to lose his breath.

"Are you okay?" Naruto was leaning over him, his blonde hair framing his face and eyes a deep worried blue. For a moment Kakashi was nine again, and these were Minato's fingers probing the back of his head for injuries. The odd familiarity of the situation caused him to laugh.

"You're acting weird sensei," Naruto said. "You might have a concussion. I should probably take you to see Sakura-chan."

He hadn't seen her in months now. She was busy in the hospital starting a new project. He only knew this because she'd sent her assistants over with paper work for him to sign. It seemed as if she might have been purposely avoiding him, but he didn't blame her. Kakashi knew that he had said things that blurred the lines lying between them.

And she had seen his mark.

There was something so intimate and vulnerable about the act – he felt as if he had allowed her to see something more significant than his face below the mask. Did this unnerve her as much as it scared him?

Perhaps she wasn't the only one doing the avoiding. His familiar nightmares were back, stronger now that he'd gotten a taste of her closeness, and he couldn't face her without the overwhelming guilt. He could admit them now – these feelings. And that meant Kakashi could no longer look at her without hating a part of himself. She had become toxic to him. The wrong things about her felt so right.

On restless nights, he imagined abandoning his duties and running away from her, as far as possible. He had never been a brave man after all.

"I'm fine," Kakashi reassured him. But Naruto's eyes had traveled elsewhere and there was a new excitement brightening his expression.

"Look at your wrist!" he exclaimed.

Later, Kakashi would ask himself how he could have been so stupid. But in the moment, it was pure instinct. He followed his old student's gaze, and his first thought was a question: "Why is Sakura's mark on my wrist?"

Naruto's sharp intake of breath was all the time he needed to pull everything together.

The world around him fell silent, and the only sound Kakashi heard was his own heart beating louder than his thoughts.

He could feel his hands shaking as he turned away.

She opened the door with a glass of water in her hand.

"Kakashi-sensei," she breathed. She still said his name like it was something to hold onto. "What are you doing here?"

"You knew." He held his trembling wrist up for her to see. He wondered if it was fueled by rage or something else entirely. Shock overtook Sakura's features, and then her lips curved into the saddest smile he had ever seen.

"Yes," she said softly. Her refusal to meet his eyes had him suppressing the urge to slam his fist through the wall. Look at me, he wanted to shout. Tell me how you've felt, tell me how you feel.

"You knew for months," he said instead. "And you never said anything. Why?"

"What was I supposed to say?" her voice cracked, the glass shattered in her hand, and he instantly craved more. He needed to break this façade. She was not calm and collected. She was fire and passion. And Kakashi refused to stand here and accept anything less than her everything.

"I trusted you," he hissed. She looked like someone twisted a kunai in her gut. He had taught her since she was twelve; of course he knew how to hurt her. Sometimes he thought it was the only thing he knew how to do.

"I wanted to tell you!" she cried out. "But I couldn't."

"Why?" he demanded.

There were two decades worth of anger pulsing through his veins, spilling out of his mouth. He had spent years tortured with the fear of being Rin's soul mate, with the fear of separating her from Obito even in death. He had spent countless hours in front of the cenotaph repenting for a crime that he hadn't committed.

Rationally, Kakashi understood that he could not blame Sakura for his past. He had chosen to punish himself for these imagined sins. But he could not stop himself from lashing out at her, as his world was falling apart at the seams.

"It had to be your choice," she said. And she understands why he would walk away from her and never look back. Because this is a pathetic explanation, but it is the only one she has.

"I never would have chosen you," he murmured. He regretted the words instantly, although they were the truth. This time, he was the one who had hurt her. Without the knowledge that they were soul mates, he would have spent his life wracked in guilt, desperately ignoring whatever he felt for her. But he never would have pursued her.

And strangely, knowing that they were meant for each other did not change a thing.

Tell me what I should do, he begged the dead. But they had never replied before and they would not now.

"Would you have chosen me?" he asked. The look in her eyes was telling.

He remembered the theory of multi-verses. Someone had once mentioned that there were multiple parallel universes, and thus there were endless possibilities of their lives.

Kaksahi wondered if there was another universe in which the concept of soul mates did not exist. Would they still find each other then?

He does not know who closed the distance between them. He thinks it may have been her, attempting to create something concrete that she can hold onto. But it may have been himself, reaching for the opportunity to finally make her his own without the fear of sin.

And as Kakashi pressed his lips to hers, he knew only one thing: redemption was not meant for men like him.

NOTE:
In my universe, Rin and Obito really were soul mates. They both had the symbol of lightning as marks because Kakashi had used chidori/raikiri on both of their chests.
Also, Tsunade and Dan were soul mates. But I like to think that Jiraiya allowed her to realize that being soul mates with someone wasn't a requirement for love (which is why she really doesn't care for the concept).