CHAPTER 8:

KEFKA AND THE DOCTOR

Kefka was soon secured in the basement of one of the houses in Narshe, with Celes giving advice on what medicines to give to him to keep his magic reserves low. Terra woke after a fairly short period, and soon, the main figures of the Returners convened in Arvis' house to hear what the Doctor had to say.

The Doctor looked at them all. "Your world exists in a pocket universe, one of many I have encountered. After what I have seen, it is my belief that it is an artificial one, and that you all have been brought from Earth. That Jamie ended up here by accident is no coincidence. I believe that the architects of this world have siphoned people from Earth, and if my theory is correct, then they did so for their own entertainment."

"Who are the Gods of Ragnarok?" Jamie asked.

"Ancient beings from before our universe existed, Jamie. They, along with a selection of others, left their own universe before it died, and managed to enter our own, but because the laws of physics differed between universes, they had vast powers. Remember the Great Intelligence, Jamie? I believe that to be one of them. I've encountered many. The Animus, Fenric, Azathoth(1)…all ancient and terrible entities who do not care about mortal lives. The Gods of Ragnarok are amongst the worst, forcing people to entertain them, or die. They either feed from the entertainment, or feed off the souls of their victims. The Land of Fiction was a creation of theirs, Jamie(2). I'm not certain of their presence here, but that pendant, the last time I saw that was on Segonax, where I confronted the Gods of Ragnarok for what I thought to be the last time(3). And given that there are three deities in the Warring Triad…"

Banon frowned. "But the ancient tales told of conflict between the Warring Triad, Doctor. They created Espers to fight for them true, but they stopped their conflict when they saw how much they had destroyed the world."

"Not for altruistic reasons, I'd venture," the Doctor said. "The Gods of Ragnarok may have done so to prevent their resources from being destroyed too quickly. It seems they've learned patience since we last met. Or perhaps the legends got it wrong: perhaps the Warring Triad were actually sealed away by the Espers or the Magi, or even both. Maybe some of the Espers themselves know."

"…Doctor…I think I know where we can find more Espers," Terra said hesitantly. "While I was transformed, I heard the voice of another Esper called Ramuh. He resides at Zozo."

"The priority is Vector, though," the Doctor mused. "At the very least, we need to retrieve the TARDIS, as well as rescue any Espers still being experimented on."

"Getting into Vector will be tough, Doctor," Celes pointed out. "The Empire has effectively closed any harbours on our continent to all boats, save for those with military business. The only way over the ocean might be by airship, and those are very rare. I only know of one offhand, owned by the wandering gambler Setzer Gabbiani. I've heard rumours that he frequents Jidoor, which isn't far from Zozo."

"We'll head to Zozo first, then," Locke said. "If there are Espers willing to help us there, we should see what help they can bring."

"We'd better split our forces, in case the Empire makes another attempt on Narshe," Banon said. "I will stay."

"So will I," Edgar said.

"And me," Sabin added.

"I shall stay as well," Cyan declared.

"I will go with whoever wishes to go to Vector," Celes declared. "You may not trust me, but I know a lot about the Magitek Laboratories. Assuming my access codes haven't been revoked, I can help us through. And I want to ensure that Cid survives."

"I'll go too," Terra said. "I want to stop the Empire from exploiting the Espers."

"Wherever you go, I go," Jamie declared.

"I'll go too, as the TARDIS is at Vector," the Doctor said.

"I'm coming too," Rachel said. "And Locke's an experienced thief, he'll go."

"Not a thief, a treasure hunter," Locke protested, albeit in a sullen murmur.

"Very well," Banon said. "May good fortune smile upon us all."

A few hours later, the Doctor was in the basement where Kefka was being kept. Celes was with him, Jamie and Terra standing in the door, unwilling to get closer to the insane clown, who nonetheless appeared to be unconscious still.

"Don't pretend to be asleep," the Doctor said, his usually warm eyes now hardened. "I know when someone is pretending to be asleep."

A chuckle wormed its way from the clown's lips. His eyes then snapped open, fixing the Doctor with a baleful glare. "Ooh, this is new. I remember the reports about you. A man answering to your description, walking out of a blue box in Kohlingen that just appeared out of nowhere. Making a noise like two elephants fucking."

"I am the Doctor, and that blue box is my property," the Doctor said.

"Not anymore," Kefka said, sneering back. "It's now the property of the Gestahl Empire."

"I beg to differ," the Doctor said. "Is it at the Magitek Labs?"

"Ooh, Doctor Cid's Devil's Lab," Kefka leered. "You'll never be able to get it."

"I've broken into secure facilities more often than you've had hot dinners," the Doctor retorted. "You're not the first person to try to take the TARDIS from me. And I doubt you'll be the last."

"TARDIS? What a stupid name!" Kefka laughed jeeringly. "Don't you mean a TURDIS? Is it like a portable toilet(4)?"

"Shut up, Kefka," Celes snapped.

"Traitors can't give me orders!" Kefka sneered back.

"If the Emperor condones the poisoning of Doma, then I will sever ties with him for good," Celes said. "Better to be a traitor, than to be a mad dog who should have been put down long ago."

Kefka laughed. "If you were going to put me down, you goody two-shoes would have done it after you captured me." His eyes flickered over to Terra and Jamie. "Ah, my sweet little songbird, Terra. And her would-be guardian."

"His name is Jamie," the Doctor said. "He's an old friend of mine. And speaking of Terra…what goes on in the Magitek Laboratories? Do they extract magic from Espers?"

"Ooh, sharp one, aren't you? Yes, we do. We managed to capture a bunch of them some years ago…as well as Terra here," Kefka hissed. "She was but a babe in the arms of her mother, who had suffered injuries when she was caught just outside the entrance to the Esper Realm. Gestahl took you wailing from your mommy's arms as she died, painfully and slowly. I was there at the time, a lowly grunt sent to capture the Espers. I remembered one crying out your name…a rather horny guy, well, horned. Maduin…he was crying, 'Terra! Terra!' over and over again. Oh, it was tiresome. Even now, I think he still does it while in the Magitek Labs."

"You're a monster," Terra said emphatically.

"I'M a monster?" Kefka laughed jeeringly again. "Like I haven't heard that one before! Besides, at least I'm a monster who is honest about what he is. Whereas look at you, Terra. A monster in a covering of human skin. You're a freak, just like me, a miscegenated half-breed creature whose only use in life is as a weapon, either for the Empire, or for the Returners."

"You bastard," Celes snarled, slapping Kefka, who merely laughed.

Terra, however, glared at Kefka, gathering her courage, before saying, "Maybe the Returners are using me…but at least they didn't force a Slave Crown onto me, like you did, you evil, twisted little man. If you didn't have the Magitek process used on you, what would you be? Nothing."

"So would Celes," Kefka sneered.

"Celes is worth a hundred of you," Terra retorted. "At least she doesn't destroy people's lives just to laugh at their passing. People have died because of you."

"That's what people DO(5)!" Kefka enunciated that sentence like someone trying to explain things to a dense child, only to scream the last word. "They died because I wanted them to, screaming in agony! I kill them because it pleases me! And if the Emperor is pleased, then that's a welcome bonus! I kill, therefore I am! There is no sweeter music than the agonised screams of people en masse!" As they glared at him, he laughed. "The thing is, I am a monster. But I'm an honest monster. It is humanity who is at fault for not realising that their true nature is monstrosity. I can see it in your eyes. All of your eyes. Especially yours, Doctor Whoever the Hell You Are. Oh yes, I see it in your eyes. You've killed a lot more than anyone else in this room, even me. How many? Oh, wait. I can tell how many. So many, you've lost count. I can smell the stink of blood on your hands. So much, it'll never wash off. You're worse than me."

The Doctor glared down at Kefka, before asking, "I may have killed more people than you ever have, Kefka, but I have tried to save so many more. I. Am. The Doctor. I chose that name as a promise to myself. And I have never gone out of my way to be cruel or cowardly." He turned and left the basement, but not before offering a parting shot as Celes followed him. "And you have worse taste in clothing than I ever did."

"Oh, I am mortally wounded!" Kefka wailed dramatically. But his jeering laughter followed them as they left the basement.

As they walked along the streets of Narshe, Celes looked at the Doctor. "Kefka really rattled you, didn't he?"

"He isn't wholly wrong," the Doctor admitted grudgingly. "It's true, I have caused more deaths than he ever has…but I've tried not to. In any case, I'm over 900 years old. That's more than enough time to cause more deaths than he ever could hope to match in a human lifetime. But…I've tried my best to save people too. As I get older, I find it harder and harder not to be haunted by those I failed to save…and those who I sent to their deaths."

"Och, but those were monsters like the Daleks or the Cybermen," Jamie said.

"Not all of them, Jamie," the Doctor said. "Remember Shockeye o' the Quawncing Grig? I killed him with cyanide."

"Aye, but he wanted to eat me and Peri," Jamie protested(6).

Terra's eyes widened, and Celes raised an eyebrow. "It sounds like you did the world a service, Doctor," Celes said.

"Even so, he was an intelligent, if rapacious and sociopathic being, Chessene even more so. I don't actually regret their deaths, but I feel the weight of them. I also wish I could've saved Dastari from his own creation," the Doctor said. "Kefka is a canny opponent. He may be a madman, but he's got a brilliant brain behind the madness, and he can discern what buttons to press. We need to head to Vector soon to retrieve the TARDIS. I didn't get what I wanted, and I doubt Kefka would surrender the information anyway."

"You said you have been to other worlds, Doctor," Celes said. "Is the TARDIS like an airship that can go to another world?"

After a moment, the Doctor said, "It's a time machine. The name is an acronym for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space(7). It can go to any world in the universe, and to any point in that world's existence. And before you ask, there are certain limitations on how much I can change history. I can't go back in time and, say, kill Kefka or the Emperor, not without severe damage to the timelines of this world. As you can imagine, leaving it in the hands of the Empire could be potentially catastrophic. And with the Gods of Ragnarok involved on this world, the danger is only greater."

"They're that bad?" Terra asked.

After a moment, the Doctor said, "Imagine a trio of Kefkas, albeit with less aspects of a monster clown. Imagine the utter lack of empathy, the desire for people to die for their entertainment. And imagine those with the powers of gods."

After a brief pause, Celes remarked archly, "Thank you, Doctor, as I had gotten tired of being asleep at night."

"Horror is a sane response, Celes. I promise you, once I get the TARDIS back, I won't be abandoning this world to the Gods of Ragnarok. This world may have been their little playground, but no more. I refuse to let them play games with your lives, or the consequences of their actions allowing monsters like Kefka to rise. Maybe they were sealed away by their victims, or maybe they are acting as spectators on this world, watching it unfold. Whatever influence they have over this world, I will end, I promise you that. You are people, not toys for their entertainment."

"Is this what you do, Doctor? Go around, fighting gods and monsters, as part of a personal crusade?" Celes asked.

"It's a promise I made to myself," the Doctor said. "I made it when I took up this name, even though it took a couple of humans for me to truly realise it. Barbara Wright and Ian Chesterton. There are times when I have to let people die for the sake of history…but today's not that day. We'd better get ready to head to Zozo. Time is of the essence…"

CHAPTER 8 ANNOTATIONS:

Well, another chapter down. Hopefully, the next one, which will be set at Zozo, will focus more on Terra and Jamie. The Doctor does have a tendency to interfere with the story. He's good at interfering.

1. The theory that these entities were from another universe was first posited in Andy Lane's novel All-Consuming Fire, recently adapted by Big Finish. All-Consuming Fire, incidentally, is a crossover between Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes, believe it or not, and remains, if not the best novel done of the series, then a firm favourite for me. Azathoth was the villain of that particular story. The Great Intelligence met the Doctor and Jamie in The Abominable Snowmen and The Web of Fear, and returned to the TV series in the 2012 Christmas special, The Snowmen. Fenric appeared in The Curse of Fenric, while the Animus appeared all the way back in the second season of the classic series in The Web Planet.

2. Something mentioned in passing in the novel Conundrum.

3. The pendant, indeed, proved vital to the Doctor defeating the Gods of Ragnarok, by reflecting their own attacks back at them. Segonax was the planet that the events of The Greatest Show in the Galaxy took place on.

4. While this joke has been made more than a few times in real life, in the audio story The One Doctor, conman Banto Zame tries to copy the appearance of the TARDIS based on verbal anecdotes (and a mistaken definition of a Police Box), and makes his own fake TARDIS…modelled on the appearance of a portaloo. I am not making this up, and it's a surprisingly good story, despite it being a very lighthearted, comedic one.

5. Kefka, of course, is channelling Moriarty in Sherlock: The Great Game.

6. The Doctor and Jamie are talking about the events of The Two Doctors.

7. I personally prefer the Dimensions version of the anagram, rather than the Dimension one. Why? It makes more sense, because the TARDIS would go through dimensions in space.