A/N: Just so you know in this fic Maeve doesn't exist. I can't believe I finished this all in one night! Ah! 11 pages! Crazy, but I had to get it off my chest. You have no idea how much my wrists hurt. Okay anyways, I hope you enjoy!

"I'm in love with you! You're right, you guessed it!" The once serious and brazen girl had turned into a watery mess. Tears streamed down the pale and trembling face. She seemed so happy to finally have Spencer Reid know her feelings.

"You're also not yourself Gloria," Spencer's weak voice somehow seemed like a scream in JJ's ears. He looked so weak so broken. His fingers were shaking. JJ felt her lip began to tremble.

"You haven't been for a long time," Spencer was looking at Gloria with dark damp eyes. Somehow through his exhaustion and drugged state he was still managing to profile the young girl. "You've been sad and depressed, and you have a right to be. Your father was an awful man."

"Yes," The girl sobbed. "He was!" She was expressing a mixture of sadness about her past, and joy that Spencer understood how she felt.

"You brought me here because you love me right?" Spencer asked and the team could see the tactic he was using.

"Of course!" Gloria practically squealed.

"Then let me out," Spencer somehow managed a sweet smile for the girl. "We can be together, Gloria please." JJ shivered, the way he was begging this girl made her cringe. She could hear the strain in his voice. She could tell by the twitch in his fingers that he was in more pain than he let on. Being a profiler made her learn the typical signs of someone who was hiding pain, but being Spence's best friend made her learn his signs.

"I don't know," Gloria pondered. Rebecca wouldn't like it. "She might hurt you, she doesn't like when people are mean to me."

"Is that why she killed all those people?" Spencer asked. Gloria waved her hand as though this was nothing.

"She just gets mad sometimes," Gloria nodded to herself. "I didn't like what she was doing, but she said she had to, so I let her. I left a love poem at every person."

"It was a message to me wasn't it? You helped kill those people to get my attention."

"Only sometimes, I was trying to prove to Rebecca that you loved me. She said you'd know it was me writing those poems if you really loved me."

"I did know, that's why I came here, because I love you. Now let me out so we can be together," Spencer pleaded.

"Lies!" Rebecca moved toward Spencer faster than lightning, pressing her face against his.

"You are lying!" She screamed, the piercing noise made Spencer's head ache even more.

"I'm not lying," Spencer gasped. The way she was leaning on him made it hard to breathe. Rebecca was back.

"My sister has studied you from the day you saved her until now, she knows your habits, your interests, your friends." The girl was spitting on Spencer's face. "There is someone you love more than my sister, more than you love anyone," the last word was a guttural scream, so rough that Spencer felt as though she'd slapped him. Rebecca backed off his chest. She grabbed a knife from the counter, it was long and sharp. She placed the blade over his wrist.

"Tell my sister who you really love or I'll kill you!"

"I don't know who you're talking about," Spencer yelled back and Rebecca sliced his wrist. Blood poured from the tied up skin. More blood that it should've been, but Spencer's arms had been tied up, his veins had been brought to the surface. Now they were easy to access and had been cut badly. Spencer let out a muffled cry at the same time JJ did.

JJ's breath was labored again. Each breath was fire, she couldn't inhale. The laptop slid off her lap. She felt her heartbeat rapidly increase. She was in control enough to know this was a panic attack, but not enough to calm herself down.

"JJ!" Penelope gasped crouching beside her aching friend. JJ was gasping on all fours on the floor in front of the couch.

"He's going to die," JJ's throat felt like she'd swallowed a considerable amount of glass. "He will bleed out before we can find him!"

"I don't think that Gloria will let that happen," Hotch commented unsure of what to do with his scared agent.

"Oh JJ, we'll find him," Penelope promised.

"Derek can you help her," Penelope looked up to Morgan. "I just thought of something that might help us track the video signal." Morgan lifted up the frail frame of the weeping JJ. He got her cup of water. Thankfully Rossi had been watching the laptop, nothing of consequence had happened, just more questioning. He placed the laptop back on JJ's lap once she'd calmed a bit. JJ sipped the cool water and leaned heavily on Morgan as she watch the scarlet liquid pour from the wrist of the man she loved.

"Sorry, sorry," JJ repeated over and over. She felt so unlike herself, so weak, so unstable. Unfortunately Spencer had been in situations similar to this, but JJ hadn't been able to see it all, hadn't had to watch everything as it happened.

"I don't want to have to hurt you again, for my sister's sake, but I will if you don't man up and admit that you're a liar and poor excuse for a human. Don't lie to her like this, tell her who you love."

"I don't -" Spencer was slightly dizzy. "Know what you're talking about." Slash! his other wrist had been sliced, the wound was slightly shallower this time, but painful all the same.

"Spence," the weak scream was all JJ could muster.

"Perhaps you need a little help," Rebecca snarled. "Let me give you a hint, Agent Jennifer Jareau." Spencer's reaction was too quick to cover up, his eyes betrayed his thoughts. JJ sat up straight when her name was mentioned. It couldn't be, Spence was in all this danger because some psychopath thought they were in love?

"Ahhhhh," Rebecca sighed in satisfaction. "I see, I've figured it out haven't I?"

"No," Spencer trembled. "No I don't care about JJ like that."

"You little bitch," Rebecca was on him again in a second, crushing his windpipe, and pressing the steel of the knife against his neck this time. He felt a warm trickle of blood fall down his neck and onto his chest.

"Tell that Jennifer bitch how you feel, right here in front of my sister, so she can see just how despicable you are, or I WILL kill you." Spencer nodded as best he could to signify he'd do as she said. The weight was alleviated and Spencer coughed violently.

"Tell her!" Rebecca demanded making whatever camera was filming zoom in on Spencer's face. Spencer lifted his heavy head still feeling the hands on his neck.

"JJ I love you," Spencer said quickly, in what seemed a sincere voice. JJ felt sick, this was not the way she wanted to hear those words. Silent tears escaped her eyes. Rebecca sucker punched Spencer in the stomach.

"Uff," Spencer's breath left his body. He felt like she'd paralyzed him.

"That isn't good enough! Make it special for your little whore. My sister needs to understand you aren't faking, you abandoned her, you lied to her. You don't love her, you love Jennifer, so tell her!" Tears filled Spencer's eyes from the pain, he was hacking, trying desperately to catch his breath.

"Alright," he rasped.

"JJ I love you, but this isn't something that-" he coughed, and JJ felt her heart break. "This isn't something that I just discovered. Jennifer I've known I loved you for so long," his voice was full of longing. "I still remember our first date, do you? I really wanted to kiss you, I wanted to so badly," he seemed to be caught up in his memories. His voice was full of longing as he reminisced.. "I never asked you out after that, I was scared. I was scared because you're so beautiful, and funny, and amazing, and just so out of my league," he chuckled now and glanced at Rebecca. She still held the knife dangerously close to him, but seemed to be pleased with his honesty.

JJ was aching, her poor Spence was there because of her. She hadn't thought it was possible to get this boy kidnapped a second time, she could never forgive herself. Fake or real she didn't deserve this proclamation of affection. She'd never had low self-esteem, but now she loathed herself. She'd put him in this awful situation. More tears flowed freely from her eyes.

"I was also afraid because, it didn't seem possible. It didn't seem possible that I could feel so strongly for someone I'd only just met. It doesn't add up scientifically you know, love at first sight and all that stuff, but I honestly couldn't explain what I was feeling, and it scared me. I even think I avoided you for a bit."

JJ remembered it clearly. She'd had so much fun on their date, she'd liked listening to Spence's statistics about sports, how he pretended he cared about and understood the game for her. Afterwards he'd been distant, she'd felt it too, the instant connection, so when he'd avoided her she'd been hurt.

"It only got worse after that, Gideon was really the only one who knew just how infatuated I was with you. He always said that he'd thought we'd be nice together after I told him you were the only person in the world who called me Spence."

JJ had often wondered if that bothered him. No one else called him Spence, not even his mother. However, since he hadn't asked her to stop she'd continued using it. It gave her a feeling of closeness with him, something that no one else had with him. She then thought of how he was really the only person who ever called her Jennifer in a non-work related way. He said it with a certain fondness, and only when he was worried about her. She was used to "Jennifer" being used by Hotch's ruff voice when introducing her to important people, or from her parents lips when they were mad, but when Spence said it, it sounded sweet like a song.

"When Gideon left I had no one to talk to about you. I felt very alone, especially when you started going out with Will, someone I could never compete with. So I put you out of my mind, I tried desperately to hide how I felt, I knew I didn't do it too well, but I tried. You were still always who I worried about first.. On any case, I was always nervous for you, not because you can't take care of yourself, but because the people we deal with are so unpredictable. I even enjoyed stupid things like sitting next to you on the jet, to this day I get butterflies when you choose to sit next to me in the conference room. Even though we work in such darkness, you are always like a light for me. Whenever I had a nightmare, I'd wake up calling your name, and I'd tell myself to stop because you weren't mine. I'd missed my shot long ago."

She wanted to shout to him that he hadn't in fact missed his shot. She still loved him dearly. She still wanted to be with him. She remembered the denial she'd been in as well, telling herself Spencer and her had no chance, that Will was the right answer. After Henry was born she was tired of secretly pining after Spencer, and thought that marrying Will would fix everything. Because that was who she should love right? Will, the father of her child. He may have fathered her child but JJ had never felt like she and Will were meant to be like her and Spence. All these feelings were filling her up so that sobs wracked her body as Spencer talked. The conversations going around her were nothing, the rapid typing from Garcia's computer was unheard, it was just her and Spence in this moment, and she couldn't stop crying.

"When I found out you were pregnant, I remember feeling like I was about to die. I had selfishly held some hope in my heart that you and Will would break up and I'd get another chance, because I was sure this time I would use my chance well. When you told us you were pregnant I hugged you, you were so close to me, but I felt like you were slipping away."

Spencer was crying now not because of the pain of the physical wounds, but because of the memories, of how all these moments had felt. He'd started pouring out his heart and now he really couldn't stop. His brain was telling him it was just his OCD, forcing him to feel like he needed to finish this story, though probably what he'd already said was enough to convince Rebecca. Spencer knew better, but nothing that normally made sense, made sense when JJ was around. Normal explanations didn't apply when JJ came into play. He knew the real reason he felt like he couldn't stop speaking. He'd hid this in his heart so long, and now he could finally tell JJ how he felt, and he had to, because unfortunately this could be his last chance to do it.

"Do you remember when you made me feel your stomach? You asked me how it felt, and I said it was scary. Well JJ," He cut off to laugh at himself. "I only said that because the scary thing was imagining a life without you, and feeling the kick of the baby in your stomach made everything so real. When you asked if I wanted children I hesitated, because the only person I could imagine having children with was you, and you were taken. That night I bought about fifty pregnancy books, I stayed up every night reading them. Because then I knew, no matter who was the father of that child, his mother was you, and you were more important than my hurt feelings. I needed to know how to protect that baby, because he was yours, and you are everything."

JJ didn't think it was possible for her to love Spence more, or to have her heart break anymore, but both happened. She felt as if her heart had shattered and the sharpened pieces were floating around, stabbing her chest. It was such an odd mixture of emotions. She was hearing what she'd always wanted to hear, but at what cost. She'd rather have never found out if it could've saved Spence.

"Now I'm so glad I never acted bitterly about Henry, because he's one of the best things in my life. I love being his Godfather, I love anytime I can spend with him," Spencer sighed, wishing he could rub the tears from his stinging eyes. This next part was going to be the hardest to talk about. "When you and Will got married," His voice faded off, he cleared his throat and tried again. Trying to be light and funny, so he could actually speak, and not be choked with tears. "When you got married I couldn't help thinking how cliché the situation was, the best man in love with the bride. Like something straight out of a romantic comedy, except in the end I didn't stop the wedding and tell you how I felt. You know, I've always thought that was a selfish move in every movie I've seen that utilizes it. Who am I to ruin your day? Who am I to make things awkward and complicated? I am only telling you now because I have to, but it was one of the hardest days of my life."

JJ was blushing, imagining an alternate universe where Spence had done that. She wished she could say she would've stood firm, that she would've stuck with the mature idea of marrying her son's father. She wanted to say she wouldn't have metaphorically spat on Rossi's work for her wedding, and that she would've turned Spence down. JJ knew this was all lie. She would've been overjoyed, it would have hardly taken her a second of deliberation, she would have run into Spence's arms.

"So now that you and Will are no longer together, I still haven't said anything, I still haven't made a move, because I'm a coward. Now I am here, only telling you how I feel at the threat of death, because JJ if my stupid feelings were ever to ruin our friendship, or cause you any distress I wouldn't forgive myself, ever. I just wish we were in an alternate universe where I could've told you so much earlier and not under threat of a knife."

"Oh Spence," JJ finally whispered touching the screen tenderly.

"GOT IT!" Garcia screamed. "Sir!" she hollered to Hotch. "I've got it! I know where he is," Garcia showed the team the floating red blimp over a location that wasn't actually too far away.

"It can't be true," JJ registered that Gloria had returned and was a tearful mess. "Tell me is isn't true," she begged Spence.

"I'm sorry Gloria," Spencer apologized.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY THOSE THINGS TO ME," Gloria screeched swinging the knife towards Spencer's neck.

"No!" JJ screamed, she then rushed out the door with her laptop, grabbing a gun and a vest. She jumped in the first vehicle she saw, turning on the siren. Her laptop was lying haphazardly on the passenger's seat. She could still hear Spencer's weak voice, he was okay for now. She raced off at a dangerous speed. She soon realized the rest of the team wasn't too far behind.

JJ arrived, she shrugged on her vest and loaded her gun. She shut the doors of the jeep quietly not wanting to tip off Gloria. Regrettably she had to leave the laptop in the car, she was now unaware of Spence's situation. As JJ snuck up to the window of the dingy house that was sunk halfway into the ground, other police officers came up.

"Do not go any further until I give my signal," Hotch radioed her. He then motioned for different officers to surround the perimeter. They were taking too long, JJ was on edge. She watched every move of Gloria and Spencer, she was itching to save him. Suddenly she noticed a difference in Gloria's stance, the once trembling girl was now standing steadily. It wasn't Gloria anymore, it was Rebecca again. Rebecca was much more likely to kill Spence than Gloria. No one else was in a position to notice Gloria's change in character. JJ made a decision right then and there.

Spencer could feel himself fading, the blood loss was significant, and he was only losing more with the knife pressing so hard to his throat. A crash resounded through the small cabin. JJ burst through the rotted door, shooting Gloria or Rebecca before she could make another move. The young girl fell with a heavy thud. JJ could vaguely hear Hotch cursing at her through the radio, telling her how reckless she'd been, but she couldn't care less.

"Spence," She practically squeaked. Weak with relief, she almost fell trying to get over the body to her friend. She apologized before pulling off his bindings. The hair on his arms was ripped off. She shot the padlocked chain and dragged the heavy metal off Spencer. Finally she used the knife previously in Gloria's hand to cut his wire and string bonds. Gloria really was very disorganized.

Spencer could feel the blood trying to fill the his starving veins. Welt like indentations covered his skin where the wires and string had cut his flesh. He could hear Hotch yelling outside and an ambulance wailing. JJ still hadn't looked at him, she was too busy attending to his restraints. Finally everything was loosened and he was able to stand. He stood up a bit too fast with the intention of hugging JJ, but instead sort of slumped against her, crying in her arms. Weak and broken, Spencer clung to her.

"Shh, Spence it's okay, I'm here," JJ comforted. She used most of her strength to push him up. She then took the bottom of her shirt stretching it thin, and using the knife to cut it. Around them officer's secured the house, making sure it was safe. They then came in, picking up the wide eyed Gloria from the floor. Spencer thought it was probably possible that the rest of the team was standing around him, but all he could see was JJ.

Once JJ had strips of her shirt cut off she bound his wrists lightly. She hoped it would stop some of the blood. She looked up at him gently placing her hand on his face for a moment. He leaned into it, shutting his eyes. She took her hand away and circled one of her arms around his waist. She slung his arm around her shoulder. He was so tall it was doubtful she'd be able to help him walk very well, but she had to try. Outside Morgan ignored whatever Hotch was saying and ran over to support Spencer's other side.

"You really got beat up pretty boy," Morgan said, trying to make the situation lighter. Spencer turned to him as if he were still drugged, neck barely supporting his head. He still hadn't registered much other than JJ. "Seriously Reid, we were all very worried." Spencer nodded at Morgan, feeling too tired to answer.

…

Three Days Later

"You broke all protocol!" Hotch yelled. JJ nodded slowly. It was early no one else was here. She'd been called in for lecture. She didn't even know yet if they had a case today, or if they were just doing paper work.

"I understand that Reid is a team member, but you could've put him in even more danger!" Hotch was pacing.

"I know," she responded. Hotch gave her a hard look, they both knew she wasn't sorry for what she'd done. She wanted to leave, to spend her hours before work trying to get a hold of Spencer. He'd been in the hospital since the event, always sleeping when she visited. She'd left him flowers, Doctor Who trinkets, movies to watch. Hardly anyone else had talked to him either which made her feel a bit better. Apparently he was exhausted, and didn't want to see anyone. However, his seeming avoidance of her made her uneasy. Dark thoughts entered her mind if she pondered on it too much. Everything he'd said seemed so completely sincere, but was it possible it had all been invented by Spencer as a time waster, and a lifesaver. Either way JJ was glad the story had given Garcia the time she needed to trace the camera's signal. However, now that everything was over JJ was left to wonder whether or not he'd been telling the truth.

"It's possible you could get suspended," Hotch continued, voice more steady now.

"I understand," JJ spoke respectfully, but she honestly didn't give a shit what happened to her. She'd saved Spence, that's all that mattered. She could lose her job entirely for all she was concerned and it wouldn't make a difference, because he was safe.

Hotch stared at her for a long time. He knew no matter what he said, if put in the same situation, she'd do it again, so he didn't see much of a point to this lecture. He just needed to blow off some steam, and tell her what her consequences might be before the bureau got the report.

"You're dismissed," he sighed running a hand through his hair. JJ nodded grabbing her bag and going towards the door

.

"But JJ," Hotch called. She turned to him. "If you love Reid enough to risk you life and your job, you should probably tell him. I think he's pretty smitten with you." JJ nodded with a small smile and left the office. She had walked five paces when she bumped into someone.

Spencer stood there, sweater vest on, coffee in hand, staring at her with a kind of longing that made JJ's heart ache all over again. Maybe he had meant those words. However, now she was concerned about why her friend was up out of the hospital, and here of all places.

"Spence!" She cried surprised. "What- what are you doing out of the hospital?"

"I felt better and they said I could leave," he shrugged.

"But what are you doing here?" She demanded.

"I um," he stopped, his hands were shaking so much his coffee almost splashed out of his cup. JJ covered his hands in hers, taking the cup and placing it on the nearest desk for both of their safety. "I needed to talk to you," he finally said.

"Sure of course," JJ pulled him into an empty office. She didn't know how she was being so calm when her heart was beating like a drum, radiating throughout her body.

"What did you need to tell me," she asked Spencer. He was leaning uncomfortably against a desk, a finger drawing spirals on the wood. His eyes were lowered, deliberately not meeting hers. She could still see the odd patches of missing hair on his arms, and though his neck was healing, but the marks from the blade were still a ragged red. JJ eyed the soft cotton wraps on each of his wrists making him look like he was wearing white half gloves. She wanted to cry just looking at the bruising on his arms and neck from his restraints, she was sure she'd break down if she saw his abdomen or other areas where the bindings had been much too tight. She thanked God in that moment that he hadn't had any broken ribs, just bruises. This man didn't need any more pain than he'd already experienced.

"About what I said on the webcam," he started and JJ's eyes snapped up to his. She'd expected him to beat around the bush a bit more.

"Yes," JJ asked hardly able to breathe. Spencer rubbed his eyes in distress.

"So you were listening," he mumbled. "I was hoping you hadn't quite heard everything."

"Why?" JJ questioned almost angrily, and he finally met her gaze.

"JJ, if anything I said bothered you, or made you feel uncomfortable, I just wanted you to know-" JJ cut him off.

"Why?" She demanded. "Was it a lie?" She might've looked fierce on the outside, but inside her heart was teetering on the edge between elation and despair.

"I um-" Spencer was obviously flustered.

"Was it?" JJ sounded more desperate now.

"Well no JJ of course not, I couldn't just make up those feelings," Spencer began.

"Good!" JJ was ecstatic.

"And of course if you feel weird, or want me to keep my distance, or-" He stopped whipping his head towards her and staring. "What?" it was hardly a whisper.

"Spence," JJ almost laughed. "I feel the same way about you, everything you said, I feel the same, ever since day one," She told him earnestly, moving closer to the young man who was practically trembling.

"I love you Spencer Reid," JJ said softly, smiling up at him, tears in her blue eyes. Spencer didn't say anything, he leaned down and kissed Jennifer softly.

Spencer was filled with the warmth he always associated with JJ's presence, but this time it was deeper, bigger. An all consuming warmth at filled him from head to toe, a completeness he never thought he'd experience. A joy spread through the couple as they were finally able to hold each other the way they'd always wanted. Finally they separated, but hardly moved apart. They learned their foreheads together, eyes still closed, breathing in each other's air.

"Is this a dream?" Spencer asked, feeling lighter than a feather.

"I hope not," JJ murmured, closing the gap between them once again, and wrapping her arms around Spencer.