Hi everyone! It's the first time I post here.

I wrote this story because Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit are my favorite wrestlers, I have a Facebook and an Instagram page dedicate to them and I felt like I had to write something about them.

I'm not mothertongue, I'm from Italy and I originally wrote it in Italia, of course. I had to search some words and expression that I didn't know – I used WordReference, Google Translate, and Reverso context, so if there is any mistake go blame them lol

I hope you'll enjoy it! If you want to let me know what you think, I'll except any remark.

Chris Benoit carefully moved the fingers of his right hand, trying to make the numbness go away.

He didn't know how long he remained motionless, he didn't even know what happened exactly. The last thing he could remember was his house's gym, and then the darkness wrapped him.

"Finally!"

Chris was caught out by that unexpected exclamation and he suddenly opened his eyes, jumping up.

He staggered a bit, wonky, but two strong arms supported him, avoiding to him a bad –and probably ridiculous- fall.

"Easy, ese. I'm not going to carry you every time you make a step" a voice made fun of him with a mocking tone – a Mexican accented voice, that belonged to someone Chris knew too well. But that wasn't possible: that person passed away two years ago, he couldn't be there with him.

He slowly looked up and he met a familiar face: dark and disheveled hair, brown eyes and the same smart smile as always. "E-eddie?" he stuttered, in disbelief. "How- I don't understand-"

He kept staring at him as long as the other man lost his patience and opened his arms, waiting.

"So? Are you gonna hug your best friends or you want to remain there without moving?"

Eddie hugged him stronger when he felt him whining on his shoulder – too many times the opposite happened- Chris had been a constant in his life: they fought together and one against each other, they had been in ECW and WCW, finally arriving to the WWE. But most important, he found in him a friend, a brother, a confidant; if he had a problem he knew he could rely on him. When the frustration at not being able to get the craved success got the best of him, during the crises with Vickie, in the dark days of drugs and alcohol – even when everything seemed lost, Chris never gave up on him.

He pushed away the tears and he slowly relaxed the grip on the other man's body, who rubbed his eyes trying to put his self together.

"Where are we?" Chris muttered, looking around. Was he dreaming? Yet Eddie was there, he hugged him… or that was an extremely realistic dream, or he was missing something.

"I don't know, amigo. I thought I was in heaven and there was hell down there, but it seems there are no differences. I was a little disappointed when I found out it"

Chris smiled, and then he suddenly realized. "Y-you are dead"

Eddie nodded, inviting him to continue – he knew the other man was begin to understand.

"So I am- Ed, why I'm here? Am I dead too?"

Eddie hung his head as a silent confirmation.

"Oh my God…" Chris whispered. "How it happened?£

"Don't you remember anything?"

"Nothing clear. It's all so confused right now"

Eddie nodded – he must wait, he knew then sooner or later the memories would come back.

"What it's like to be here?" Chris asked.

"Boring, ese. I've got nothing to do, except watching what happens on Earth" he replied with a smile, shaking his shoulders. "No lowrider to ride or match to win by cheating"

"At least you can't use your lie, cheat and steal here – maybe you'll become honest" Chris made fun of him, putting an harm around his shoulders.

"Mi madre would be happy to know it"

They walked around aimlessly, remembering the beginning of their friendship, their trips, the problems they had to deal with. When they sat down, Chris staired into the space for a bit, a melancholy look on his face.

"What's up?" Eddie asked – when Chris shut down without saying a word for several minutes, he just couldnt' help but worry.

"I-I wrote you some letters, you know? When you passed away… it was the only way to believe you were still with me"

"I read them. I read every single word, listened to your thoughts and prayed that you could be strong and go on even without me"

"I could never have, Eddie. Maybe the pain would have reduced, but I wasn't the same anymore"

Eddie shook his head, suddenly feeling guilty. "I would have done more, understand that something was wrong and-"

"No" Chris interrupted him. "You always did everything possible and even more"

"Maybe if I didn't die-"

Chris left out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, maybe I wouldn't get mad"

A shadow of sadness crossed Eddie's face: he knew Chris wasn't accuse him, but he was aware of being one of the reasons that made him collapse.

"I-Iìm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No lo lamentes. Everything's fine" Eddie muttered, placing a hand on his shoulder. He could understand his reaction – he realized that he was really dead, and he was beginning to remember his last years, full of sorrow, problems and insecurities. "But I need to know: qué pasó, ese? What happened?"

"I don't – I don't know" Chris shook his head, imprecise memories filling his head. "When you died I felt empty, like nothing had sense anymore. I continued to do the shows, trying to keep myself occupie and not think about it – Vickie always had been there for all of us. Despite the sorrow, she tried to be strong, for your daughters and for herself, but for us two. We were devastated, but we tried to support each other - Chavo was awesome at this, I should thank both of them sooner or later"

He remember the pain he felt when he find out about it. It broke his heart, because Eddie had regained control of his life, he was on the top of the federation and- god, it couldn't have happen. Not to him, not to Eddie.

During the tribute show, wearing his "I'm your papi" t-shirt, he couldn't hold back the tears, like the other wrestlers. He had listened to Vince's speech, and to the crowd that was chanting "Eddie, Eddie, Eddie", to onor a great champion and a great man.

He fought, trying to do his best – he felt like he owned it to the fans and to Eddie.

When he came back home, he just went to bad, thanking that Nancy understood his need to be alone. He felt tired as he never had been in his entire life; he wondered how he could go on, how could life continue when he lost one of the best human being he ever met.

He fell asleep late, and when he woke up the morning after his pillow was tear-stained and he had an awful headhache.

He tried to pull his self up, because he knew he had to fought and to be a present husband and father- so he returned to his routine, even if he couldn't ease that hanging from his chest. Even if he tried to fill his days as best as he could, it was always there, and when he went to bed all the thoughts he tried to control came back, causing him to break down.

"After a while I started to become paranoiac, I changed path every time I had to come back home. I was depressed, but I didn't think I was sick- I thought it would have resolved. I've been stupid, haven't I?"

"Not more than other people, not more than me"

Eddie remembered the dark days of the painkillers, of the alcohol, the promise to stop before falling back like an idiot at the first opportunity. He had been there, he knew what it meant losing control of his self and isolate from the rest of the world. It was hard ask for some help – the first time he failed, disappointing everyone. But he finally made it, counting on his own strength and on the affection of those whom sorrounded him; he got his life on the track, he did everything he could to stop drinking and regain his serenity. It was a long road, full of hidden dangers, and he knew not everyone could do it – Chris, evidently, was one of those person. He didn't want to ask for help –maybe because of his pride, maybe because he really thought he didn't need it- and the obsessions and the problems he told him before were a clear sign that probably he passed the point of no return without ever realizing it.

"How did you come to do ... what you did?"

"I was arguing with Nancy, I had told Daniel to go to his bedroom so he wouldn't hear us screaming"

"Why did you two argue?"

"She wanted me to stop wrestle. She's been telling me that for years, but you know I would keep to fight until my body would have endured the pain and the fatigue"

Eddie nodded. "I would have do the same"

Ever since he began to wrestle, he thought he would end his career in a glorious day, maybe with one last match and then a acceptance speech to his family, his friends and his fans. He would have party with Vickie, Chavo, his brothers, Chris, Dean and all his friend – all his sacrifices would have been paid off.

But instead he died just when everything seemed to be in the right place.

"We started to yell at each other things we didn't even think, and at some point I blacked out. I didn't know what I was doing, I-" he took a deep breath before he went on. "I loved her, I've always loved her, ma I don't know what happened. I felt like I was lost and my mind was empty - I strangled her and god, I never meant to do it, I don't know how I could"

Eddie took a hand in his own, feeling he was shaking. "Go on – I know it hurts, but please, you have to tell me everything"

"T-then I did the same with Daniel, and in the end I thought I hadn't any reason to live anymore, so I went to the gym and I killed myself. Y-you have to believe, I didn't want to hurt them"

"Chris, it's allright-"

"Not, it's not allright! I promised you I would have made you proud and I didn't" he sobbed, hiding his face on his hands.

"Mirame" he gently hit his chin with the fingers, forcing him to look up. "I never doubt you; even in the worst moments you had the strength to react. You've been by my side despite everything, even when you were the one who needed help"

"But I killed my family, Eddie – only a terrible person would do that!"

"Shh, you have to listen to me, ese.The person who did it wasn't the Chris Benoit I know, wasn't that kind and a bit shy guy that always had something positive to say about everyone. He wasn't my best friend, my brother, mi familia .He wasn't that guy who gave everything to do what he loved, nor wasn't that man who dreamt about being on the ring in Madison Square Garden since he was a little kid." He smiled, remembering their hug that night. "He wasn't none of this. He was a person who needed help, a man with some problems who became the very shadow of a man- I know you're proud and you thought you could handle it, it had always been that way. And I always admire you for this"

Chris took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "This isn't an explanation"

"No, it isn't" he agreed. "But what I'm trying to show you is that you weren't yourself anymore. I'm not blaming you for not asking for help, I know it's hard when you're in those situations- especially if others begin to realize you're not good, you don't want to seem weak. I'm just sure that the Chris Benoit I've known loved his wife and his son, and he would have never do that. Sadly it happened, but I don't want that you blame yourself, at least not at all – you weren't clear headed and you know it, your brain was completely messed up"

"You always knew everything, didn't you? When I came here you already knew how it went"

"Sì" he admitted frankly. "But it was necessary to you to recall everything all alone, without me telling you anything , to get rid of this burden"

"I wasn't alone" Chris smile for the first since since he found out what he did. "You were with me, you always has been"

"As you has been always there for me" Eddie replied, smiling.

"I feel lighter" he admitted. "I still don't believe what I did and I know I'll never forgive myself for it, but I think I could deal with it. But I'll need your help"

"Have I ever refuse to help you?"

"Never"

"Neither I'll do this time"

They hugged, because despite all it happened the fate wanted that they found each other again, in the same place, to face that new adventure together, as they always did. And it was all they needed – just can count on each other and keep their friendship alive.

Chris smiled again. "I've missed you, Eddie"

"I've missed you too, querido"