Chapter Twenty: Avatar Aiwa
256 AG
The Spirit World

For a long time, Aiwa wasn't sure where she was. The transition back to tangible reality was slow and the only thing she was sure of was that she couldn't be sure of anything. At least she could still think logically. Were the surgeons even working on the part of her brain that dealt with logic? How was she even conscious at all? Was she even conscious?

"Clearly, if you're having these thoughts, you are conscious."

"Can you have thoughts and be unconscious?"

"Part of the definition of 'conscious' would, I'd have thought, include something about being able to have thoughts."

"Well, neuroscience says that you can only have thoughts if you're conscious, so shall we stick with that?"

Suddenly, and with quite a shock, Aiwa opened her eyes.

She was sitting upon a wide lily pad beneath an ornate wooden gate. Around her were bamboo thickets and giant trees covered in twisting vines. Brown mists floated over murky waters all around her, and the dense clouds above were pierced by yellow light.

"I've made it...?"

Immediately, Aiwa knew something was wrong. The feeling that permeated her being was akin to her experience of fading consciousness the last time she had visited the Spirit World. And of all the urges to strike here, the first was nausea. It was followed shortly by actual vomit. She retched into the water. Her sick tasted strangely of strawberries.

"What are you doing to my head?" she called out to no one in particular.

"Aiwa, we can hear you. Keep talking!"

"What?"

"Keep talking!"

The words were forcing their way into Aiwa's ears without her actually hearing anything.

"Aiwa, are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here!"

"Fantastic! Look, the operation's going well, but you're not doing anything."

"I've only just regained consciousness here – whatever that means."

"Aiwa, calm down, you'll be alright. We're just not getting the right response yet. You need to find Raava, or a past Avatar, or someone who'll help –"

"It's alright," Aiwa cut in, smiling, "someone's found me."

Aiwa stared down at the human form in the water before her. The old man smiled back. Then, with the rushing of water, he took material form, rising up to standing before her. It took her only a few seconds to recognise him, the images flooding in from memories of her favourite books.

"Avatar Roku, it's an honour to finally meet you."

Aiwa bowed, and Roku responded in kind.

"Aiwa, I'm sorry it took us so long to work out what was going on. As time passes, our sense of the physical realm fades, and it becomes more and more difficult for us to connect with Raava and the current Avatar. But we're with you now."

"I'm glad," Aiwa said, smiling broadly. "Roku, I've been meaning to ask about the mountain where you found me. I don't understand what happened there. Why did my mind fade away like that?"

"Aang could explain it better than me," Roku replied slowly, "but to explain it in brief: the Spirit World fades the further away you move from the surface."

"What do you mean 'fades away'?"

"Exactly what you experienced – a fading of the mind. Consciousness can dissolve under certain conditions. It is perhaps more correct to say that the contents of consciousness fade – hmm, even that's not quite right..."

Roku stroked his beard contemplatively, but Aiwa was impatient. This could wait.

"Aang will know better, yeah?"

"Yes. Now, as I'm sure you're aware, we struggled to connect with you. With Junto trapped and our inability to explore the physical world ever a hindrance, we could not determine who had been selected as the new Avatar –"

"Hold on, how do you know about Preservation's plan?"

Roku's smile faded a little.

"We are not so disconnected from the land of the living as that, Aiwa. But we knew their game, we understood the rules, and we believed their intentions were good, so we decided to play. Once we began to sense you entering the Spirit World, we tracked you whenever you did, and we finally found you. Only we could not come too near, as Junto's state would mean he'd attack."

"He did attack."

"That was not our doing. And in a way, nor was it his."

"What do you mean?"

Roku's expression soured. It was clear that he did not want to have this conversation, but recognised its importance for Aiwa nonetheless.

" Junto is not accountable for his actions, because..." Roku sighed. "Because we made him the way he was."

"What?"

Roku's smile had vanished altogether.

"When Avatar Korra died, too young by far, the world needed a new Avatar. War was coming, conflict over resources and ideas, a calamitous clash with the power to destroy everything that the Avatar had worked so hard to build over countless lifetimes. So, what remained of Avatars past made the collective decision to interfere with Junto to enhance his physical and mental abilities."

Aiwa breathed deeply and shook her head. Roku closed his eyes for a moment, before staring straight into Aiwa's.

"Yes, we were fools. We were scared, and our interference ultimately caused far greater harm than good. We gave Junto great power and intelligence, but we took away his ability to connect with other humans on so many levels." Roku sighed.

"You didn't intend it."

"No, but we should have known better than to take such a chance. Just as the surgeons operating on you now know the risks, so did we."

With Roku so dispirited, Aiwa felt she had to speak her mind.

"Well, I don't know if this helps, but I don't blame you for it. Like you said, you knew the risks and made a decision. But this is where our views might depart. I don't think I see blame the way you do... I really don't hold you responsible."

"Then who?" Roku shot back, but Aiwa could only shake her head. Roku decided not to pursue it any further.

"Go, find Avatar Aang. Leave me to brood on my mistakes. I was the one who first put forward the idea. I was not decisive enough to prevent the Hundred Year War, so I tried to put things right by preventing the next. Instead, my actions lead to the downfall of civilisation."

"But you couldn't have foreseen the consequences –"

"If that's what you think, then so be it. Now go. Find Aang!"

Aiwa followed the prompt, making her way through the murky swamp. Slowly, the ponds dried up to become cracked and blistered mud. The trees closed in, low and dense, but the clouds above began to part. There was a clear path through the bog, still filled with brown mist, but she knew where she was going.

Eventually, Aiwa came out upon a beach. A light breeze sighed in the treetops. Leaves skipped across the stones and sand of this desolate expanse. Incredibly far out, the green and orange sea faded into the mist. What was most interesting about this place was the lack of spirits. Almost everywhere else, spirits were present in large numbers, if you knew what to look for. Yet, here they were conspicuously absent.

"Aiwa."

Looking to her right, Aiwa saw Aang walking along the beach towards her. He was dressed in orange and yellow robes, with a short black beard and a pleasant smile. He stopped and sat down on a large branch that hung low across the sand.

"Hi, Aang."

"Isn't it strange that you already feel like you're on familiar terms with us, even if you've never met us before?"

Aiwa nodded and smiled as she walked over to sit beside him.

"It's good to be here, even if the circumstances are nothing like what I ever imagined."

"Indeed," Aang said simply. "As you've probably guessed by now, you need to connect with your four most recent incarnations in order to truly become the Avatar."

"Well, actually I wasn't really sure. But are you serious about all four?"

"Why? Are you worried?"

"Yeah, I am worried. The last time I saw Junto in the Spirit World, he attacked me!"

"And things have changed," Aang continued calmly. "Junto's no longer the Avatar – that's why you're able to communicate with us at all. He's been taken out of the Avatar State, and Raava now resides within you."

Aiwa was still nervous, but Aang seemed to understand.

"Look, you're handling this very well. Once, when I was almost killed by Azula's lightning in Ba Sing Se, I had to go through a similar process of reconnection, to make sure the Avatar Spirit remained within my body. I didn't remember it afterwards, but Roku tells me I was alright. So, you will be too."

"Actually...there is something else I'd like to ask you about."

Aang smiled.

"Go ahead."

"Ancient air nomad philosophy."

"Ah." Aang stood up suddenly, and Aiwa was a little disconcerted. "My greatest mistake. How much have you learned?"

"Enough to be incredibly curious. Xue once said to me that he thought I'd handed the Preservation a solution to the problem of human suffering when I gave him a certain book – a book, I later learned, was on ancient air nomad philosophy. And just why were your people referred to as nomads, anyway, when they all lived in giant temples?"

Aang chuckled, beckoning to Aiwa to walk along the beach with him.

"Well, like our modern philosophy, it's a relic that harkens back to older times, when all airbenders really were nomads. You met one of the last wanderers, actually – a monk named Laghima."

"He's still in the Spirit World. We sat together, we meditated...I don't remember much of it, only that it was just incredible."

"And so it should be," Aang spoke strongly. "Laghima's spiritual insights and meditative techniques were legendary in his own lifetime. Sadly, many of his teachings were distorted by the passage of time, as were all of the ancient tenets. Only a shell remained by the time I was born, but I knew that a few relics still existed. Early in my twenties, when my curiosity and my desire to find archives left behind by my people was great, I found an ancient vault, and contained within it were many incredible teachings."

Aang was speaking with what seemed to be trepidation, as though worried that simply telling Aiwa these things would somehow harm her.

"I'd rediscovered ancient air nomad philosophy – ways of thinking and of being that had not been experienced for thousands of years. I read them, I studied them, I thought I understood them – and then I locked them all away."

"Why?"

"Truth be told, Aiwa, a part of me didn't think the world was ready for it. We would need a unified, stable society, with all sources of violence and selfishness identified and countered before I would dare to share those teachings. But a part of me also couldn't accept what I'd learned. I suspect you already know bits and pieces, yes?"

"Bits and pieces. That book I mentioned? I read it while in a trance, and it...somehow, it saved my life. But I don't remember anything from it. I have the vaguest understanding of what was written in it, but not on a conceptual level. I feel like I encounter it from time to time, and sometimes I have experiences – I call them 'singularities' – where I lose my sense of self –"

"That, Aiwa, is what it's all about. The destruction of duality."

Aang stopped short of speaking any further, and Aiwa turned to look at him. They shared a gaze, and Aiwa knew exactly what he meant. No words were warranted – they would only get in the way.

"But it's not for you."

Aang's brutal honesty hit like a hammer, and Aiwa was sent reeling in shock.

"I'm sorry, but why?"

Aang sighed.

"It's a complex matter, but ultimately it comes down to what is best for the world. This is something that Avatar Yangchen taught me: the Avatar can never reach enlightenment. You are bound to the earth and to your Self, to human suffering, to what it means to be human. Enlightenment is seeing past all human meaning to experience the true nature of reality."

"Tathata," Aiwa said quietly. "I get what it means, now."

"Indeed: tathata. That word only exists in the literature of the ancient air nomads," Aang mused. "But do you understand me? It is crucial that you make this sacrifice to retain your sense of self. I understand how contradictory this sounds, but it's what we get for only being able to express it with human words and meaning. Your greatest act of selflessness can only be to retain your sense of self, to engage fully with it and to understand what it means to be human, for every second of every hour of every day of your life."

Aiwa's mind passed her another epiphany, and she immediately voiced it.

"Junto couldn't do it."

"No, he couldn't. We changed him too much. Something about his brain meant that he was, with respect to greater purposes, not human."

"Roku has already explained some of this. You did what you thought was right at the time. I don't think I hold you responsible –"

"If not us, then who?" Aang pointed a finger at Aiwa, and for the first time in their conversation, Aiwa felt uneasy. "If human lives are to have meaning, then you must decide where responsibility lies. How else will you repair the damage done by Junto in the Avatar's name?"

"Then, perhaps for the purpose of rebuilding trust in the Avatar as the shepherd of civilisation, the past Avatars will be responsible. How do you think the people of the world will take that?"

Aang looked both impressed and unnerved at this idea.

"You're settling comfortably into Preservation philosophy. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but..." He sighed. "Be careful of this notion of truth that the Preservation preach. Yes, I will call it preaching. What I understand, I agree with, but that which I do not understand worries me."

He fixed Aiwa with a powerful stare.

"The Avatar is still human," Aang spoke quietly, "and humans make mistakes. The Avatar should be allowed that much. But when dealing with matters like the truth, mistakes truly matter, and can cost lives."

"I think mistakes can be incorporated into this notion of truth," replied Aiwa calmly. "I'm not sure I understand it fully yet myself, either, but..."

As her voice faded with her certainty, Aang smiled gently.

"Junto's past, the responsibility for the state of the world, and all other matters will be yours to take on – your burden. Even the Preservation, shadowy and secretive, must become like an open book to you. Interrogate its ideals and its means until you reach the core of the philosophy, and scrutinise it. Always remain sceptical, always retain an open heart and mind. But just remember, however complex the world seems: we will be here for you."

Aiwa was deep in thought as she made her way back inland, following the path Aang had recommended. She thought she understood Aang's resistance to the ancient teachings: they were meant to be lived, not understood with respect to a context that changed with each passing moment. And with each attempt at intellectual comprehension, Aang would have grown more doubtful, more confused...

As she reached a large clearing in the forest, Aiwa brought her attention out of her mind and back to the world around her. Paths and buildings of ancient stone lay before her, with vines and ferns choking the ruins. Huge trees dotted the overrun city here and there, so tall that their canopy was hundreds upon hundreds of metres above in the thick clouds. The Spirit World was peaceful here, tranquil. Aiwa could sense the difference.

She made her way through the ruins, past crumbling balconies and statues defaced by the passage of time, wondering who had built this place. She had once read of Wan Shi Tong's Great Library, and thought of the builders of that deep and timeless place. Were they the same architects as this ancient marvel, now fading into the mists of passing epochs?

At last, she came to a wide, stone disk in what had to be the centre of the ruins. The ground here was clear of vegetation, and a musky mist hung in the air. Aiwa watched as the mists coalesced, solidifying and taking shape, until out of them strode a familiar woman.

"Korra," Aiwa began immediately, sharing no more than a smile with this Avatar before plunging into discussion, "why don't all the Avatars simply meet me at once, in the same spot?"

Korra laughed. "Call it…standard procedure. It's nice to meet you, Aiwa."

"And you."

"Would you like to sit down?"

"Not really," Aiwa replied. "I don't really get tired within the Spirit World. It's interesting."

"I know!" Korra enthused. This manifestation of Korra was younger, with short hair, simple clothes, and plenty of energy. "I became so fascinated by the Spirit World when I was younger. It's one of the reasons I gave permission for research into spiritual energies to take place – or to continue, rather."

"It was you?" Aiwa exclaimed incredulously? "You pushed the science forward?"

"Yes, and no," Korra cut in firmly. "Scientists all across the world encountered the idea of channelling raw spiritual energy several decades before Kuvira's weapon, and the progress they'd made – knowledge that not even people like Varrick had access to – had progressed further than building a simple weapon. That, so they told me, was easy!" She laughed savagely.

Aiwa had a thought.

"Did you provide...you were the one who...?" She was struggling with the words. "The Jishu scientists must have had knowledge of the exact structure of an Avatar's brain, and how it differs from others'. Did you provide it?"

Korra frowned.

"I assented to being studied. It wasn't an easy decision, and clearly it wasn't the right one after all, but I did what I thought was right at the time."

"I'm sorry," Aiwa replied thoughtfully, "I'm not trying to create tension, just connect the dots."

"I was talked into it," Korra continued, glaring at Aiwa. "They talked up the benefits of the technology very well, even with Varrick now their greatest adversary. Even the most basic applications were incredible! I was in my mid-twenties when a group of technicians proposed to analyse me while I meditated by a Spirit Portal. They attached some funky devices to my head, and the next thing I knew I was reconnecting with my past lives. I'd never dreamed of that! What was potentially even more consequential, the researchers explained, was the philosophical debate that it had started. So many ideas were squashed when the first switch connecting brain circuitry to electromagnetic chi-motors was flicked, and so many more sprang up. I'm no scientist, but I recognised its importance, and I saw the effect that this was having on all fields of science – it was just incredible! Many were still opposed, and remained so for a long time. I think that was necessary. Social red tape, if you get my drift, but..."

"You died," Aiwa said quietly. "Too young. Would you tell me how it happened?"

Korra sighed.

"It was a consequence of blind humanitarian aid against the best advice. But I did what I did –"

"You lot keep saying that," Aiwa cut in, "and I get it: you're unhappy about what happened, and would go back and change things if you could. But does anyone hold it against you?"

"Well, no they don't, no one even –"

"More to the point, do I?"

The two Avatars shared a smile.

"Please keep going," Aiwa prompted gently. "There's still so much for me to learn."

"After Kuvira tried to take Republic City, I became a much more interventionist Avatar than I wanted to be. At their behest, I was in frequent contact with Aang and the others, and they were always advising me and warning me against new dangers. I thought I did fairly well for the most part. There were many uprisings, rebellions which threatened the peace, but I put them all down bloodlessly. I set up the Earth Continent Intergovernmental Congress and weighted it so that the smallest states still had some power. I even..."

Korra's arms fell slack to her sides and her eyes were melancholy.

"I get it," Aiwa cut in, smiling, "I do. You did your best. You and Aang and Roku – it's alright. Now go on."

"Well, the first tremors of the growing tension between the Shilun Alliance and the Wushi Federation were felt almost twenty years before the war began. But then, still a decade before the conflict blew out, the plague arrived."

Korra took a deep breath, shaking her head.

"Can you imagine it? The entire city of Ba Sing Se, quarantined! Whatever it was, the plague seemed optimised for killing humans – a long incubation period without symptoms, infectious the whole time, and then a sudden and sharp decline in health and energy, frequently resulting in death. Incredibly, it didn't get very far, and over half of the citizens survived!"

"That's still a lot of dead people."

"What made it worse to bear was that I wasn't even helping." Korra cracked her knuckles. "I took a team of willing volunteers into the city to try and stem the spread of the virus. We might have held it back a little, but the cure ultimately came from a Jishu biology lab. Reverse engineering or something. Of course, this happened after I'd died."

The simple way that Korra stated it was unnerving.

"You contracted it."

"I did. And so, I died. And, as you know, the White Lotus had great trouble finding the next Avatar."

"Ba Sing Se recovered, you know," Aiwa urged, still seeing the regret in Korra's eyes. "It bounced back so fast you –"

"And then it died again, this time the in misery of the Great Winter."

"But all's not lost! Humans have survived, and we'll always come back. Ba Sing Se will be rebuilt like it was in the olden days."

"Is that really a good idea?"

Aiwa laughed.

"You tell me! You're the one in favour of the status quo."

Korra smiled, but her gaze was still clouded by sadness.

"Perhaps, though I wouldn't say it like that. Alright, I've told you what you wanted. Now, you want to go up there." She pointed through an opening in the trees, through which Aiwa could see a distant mountain. "Yangchen's peak."

Aiwa wasn't sure if she had tracked time correctly. It felt like she'd been in the Spirit World for weeks, but distance and time ran somewhat differently here than in the physical realm – at least, that was her perception. It was certainly a lengthy journey to the foot of the mountain, and an arduous task climbing it, but Aiwa never grew tired. On the way she was always surprised and delighted by new sights and marvels. If you knew what to look for, the Spirit World contained beauty without limit.

It was night as Aiwa reached the top of the mountain. All around, thick white cloud blanketed the Spirit World, with only the nearby peaks of other mountains breaking through to point to the stars. It was a little cold up here, and Aiwa shivered. She did not have her firebending to warm her.

"There's a thought: when you wake up, you'll have access to the other elements!"

"If it works. If I even survive the surgery."

"You know as well as I do that you'll see this through."

"You and I? Why do I continue to distinguish between these two absurd little voices in my head?"

"Because it serves a purpose. Having me around is useful, so my existence is true."

"Annoying, though."

"Annoying, but true."

"Aiwa."

Someone real had said her name, and there was only one person it could be. Aiwa turned and smiled at him.

It was Junto as a healthy young man, free of guilt and inner turmoil – at least as far as she could see. Aiwa could see his father's jawbone and short, severe haircut. Junto was dressed in the simple garb of an Earth Continent citizen, devoid of any finery or reflections of his status. His hands were clasped before him, and he wore a peaceful smile.

"Hello, Junto."

He smiled.

"It's nice to finally meet you – when I'm not a psychopath or a raging, disembodied spirit."

Aiwa laughed.

"Yeah, thanks for that. You did some damage, though. A few men and women are dead..."

Junto's brow furrowed.

"Yes, tell me again how that's my fault."

"Did I say it was? What is with all of you and going on about blame?"

Junto's frown shifted to a look of uncertainty.

"All of the past Avatars feel responsible for the state of the world, Aiwa."

"I've realised something," she said suddenly. "I think you should stop talking about blame. Why? Because it isn't helpful – it isn't useful, so just stop."

Aiwa pursed her lips. She was beginning to see the cracks appearing in Junto's facade. He was still hurting inside, still a frightened child, terrified of being beaten as a consequence, as punishment for his crimes. Yet she would only try to help him.

"Look, the world is pretty messed up. And if we want to talk in terms of the old truths, then you're right: you're responsible, a monster who did terrible things because of a misguided sense of what is right. But listen to me now: If responsibility means that you committed those acts, fine. If responsibility means that you need to be locked away to prevent further action or to deter others from following your lead, so be it. But if responsibility means that you must suffer because of what you did, then I deny that this 'responsibility' is yours. You don't deserve to suffer. It isn't useful. That's what it all keeps coming back to..."

Junto's gaze was now neutral, and Aiwa finished her speech on a pensive note. She lowered her tone, trying her best to be sympathetic.

"Don't make yourself suffer. You did what you did. Could you have done anything differently? No. Can you change what you did? No. But can you learn from what you did in the past, being mindful of everything that's been and gone, and act for a better future?"

Junto managed a wry smile.

"Yeah, I can do that," he said quietly. "Aiwa, you're going to make a fantastic Avatar: an Avatar for Peace."

Aiwa returned his smile, grinning broadly.

"I'll do my best."

Junto closed his eyes momentarily, as though preparing to leave, but then he opened them again, a thought having crossed his mind.

"Are you worried about the Preservation? Their distortion of the facts in pursuit of an agenda?"

Aiwa thought for a moment.

"A little," she replied, "but I believe they are good people with good intentions and the means to carry out their agenda. And if we throw away the facts trying to make the world a better place, then so be it."

Junto laughed.

"Tell me you're not certain of that?"

"Definitely not," Aiwa shot back immediately, before taking a deep breath. "But I'm the Avatar. The responsibility of the future of the world will be on me, so you can count on me to hold the Preservation accountable."

"Good." Junto replied simply. "That's good."

And without another word, he vanished.

Aiwa felt incredibly pleased with herself.

"What now?" she asked of the Spirit World as a whole, speaking into the night sky.

All of a sudden the clouds and the mountains were gone, and she was surrounded by stars. The earth was far below, a pale blue dot in the depths of space. Aiwa was standing upon a white pathway leading off into the depths of space. As she stared ahead, a glimmering form began to emerge from the blackness, a vast, cosmic reflection of herself.

"Aiwa," a deep, female voice spoke, "at last."

"Hello, Raava."

The energy was flowing through her body, as Aiwa looked down to see Raava's form glowing within her.

"This is unorthodox, this transferral into your body," Raava spoke.

"It had to be this way," Aiwa said, beginning to walk forwards down the path. Her cosmic self was growing brighter with each passing second. "Junto was dying, and he would have taken you with him for ten thousand years. I was willing and prepared. What else would you have done?"

"Nothing, child," Raava replied simply. "I was with Junto the whole way, watching helplessly as he fought against the world and against himself. I met his friends and grew to understand him as a man. I have fully forgiven him for everything that came to pass, and now look forward to our future together."

"Together," Aiwa repeated. "We've much to do."

"Indeed. Now, Avatar, step forward."

As Raava's form faded, Aiwa walked forwards, her confidence growing. The Realised Avatar was ahead, held between the hands of the cosmic power. Aiwa began to run, excitement filling her whole form and blotting out all doubt.

She was swamped with energy, flooded with blinding light, and filled with the most wondrous sense of fulfilment. As she was thrown once more into the void, out of space and time, she realised something properly. She understood it.

She was the Avatar.

Avatar Aiwa.