As Wade began to stir from the depths of unconsciousness, he could make out the sound of footsteps getting closer. "What in the ever loving fuck happened last night?" (Oh just the usual interdimensional hangover, nothing to worry about ya jackass!) "Wha," The crimson clad merc uttered before taking in his surroundings. It was like someone took the garden of Eden, Jurassic Park, and added steroids into the mix. At first it seemed as if Deadpool had been transported to some sort of jungle but upon further inspection one could make out tell tale signs of a man made structure through the dense foliage. It was at this point the infamous mercenary realized that he was currently in some kind of freakish greenhouse.

"God Harley, I don't know what I was thinking letting you drag that man back to our lair. I mean really? A pet?" A sultry and slightly familiar voice gripped from somewhere in the distance. "We still haven't found your other two beasts, what's going to happen to this one when they're home hmmm?" A lengthy pause was followed by a series of loud sniffles. "I'm not mad at you Harley. You know that. I just wish you'd look before you leap. We have no idea who this man could be, more importantly what he could be capable of."

"I'm sorry, but look at it this way, the hard part is already done Red! He's tied up and knocked out, all that's left to do is make sure he can't turn on us right? Well that's an easy fix baby. Ya just use your new formula and wham bam thank you ma'am it's done. We got a loyal pet!" A different voice piped up slightly giddy. "Aww for me, pretty please with a cherry on top? I swear I'll take care of him all by myself and everything! Just let me keep him baby? Please, please, please..."

The mercenary looked around for the sources of the noise, turning his head to and fro comically. It was at exactly this moment the idiot realized two very important things. The first being that he was tied up, and apparently whoever had done it was definitely a pro. The second, and more pressing matter was that he did not have any of his equipment. (Bastards!) "Fucking shit…" Wade murmured already cursing his luck.

"Okay, Harley. I'll do it for you. Just this once though, do you understand? You know how much I detest these swine." A soft thud could be heard nearby, as well as a girlish scream of joy. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! Mwah! You won't regret this, I swear! Girl scout's honor." Deadpool started struggling in earnest, realizing that his window of escape was quickly closing.

Rustling could be heard from behind and the mutate struggled, nearly thrashing around in his confines. "C'mon, Houdini ain't got shit on me!" This proclamation was followed by a series of disturbing pops. "God that's horrible. Almost there though just a little bit more..." A sickening crack could be heard, albeit muffled. "Christ!" This was immediately followed by more wiggling from the spandex clad man. "And there! Ah, now I just gotta get the other one out." The mangled arm was forcibly straightened out by the captured merc, his stolen healing factor making short work of the damage. No sooner than it was done did he manage to free his other arm. "Free at last, free at last! Ha!"

Wade's celebration was cut short as the foliage shuddered and parted like the red sea to reveal the forms of none other than Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. Each clad in their signature attire, the latter of the two armed as well. At this moment the events of the previous day came rushing back to Deadpool like a flood. "It was you two!" The wannabe hero exclaimed in an accusatory tone, pointing one of his gloved hands at the pair. "You brained me and stole Bea and Arthur, where are they? And where's the rest of my gear! C'mon man, ugh, woman, that's low. Taking a poor defenseless merc's shit? Ever hear of honor among thieves?"

The red headed bombshell rolled her eyes whilst casting a look over at the blonde standing beside her. "You are going to owe me big after this Harley," She huffed out before striding forward towards the strange man. At her urging, the surrounding flora seemed to surge and come to life. "Seize him!" She commanded. A veritable sea of varying greens and other exotic hues came rushing towards the escapee. "Oh come on! That's so unfair!" He squealed before executing a series of acrobatic maneuvers. (...that could've won olympic gold.)

"Take this and this and that!" Harley shouted as she reached into her bag of tricks and tossed out gadget after gadget at the escapee. Poison Ivy doing much the same with the abundant vegetation.

"A swing," Wade shouted as he dodged another mass of leafy tendrils as well as some of the sexy clown's projectiles. "And a miss!" The crimson clad merc rolled away from his landing zone and noted the predicament he was currently in. Surrounded on all sides by possessed plant life, with two crazy hot, emphasis on crazy, ladies waiting for him to slip up. "Well I'd hate to say it, but it looks like it's time for some good ol' maximum effort." Deadpool grunted as he cracked his neck and readied his stance. "It's too late you half wit. The fight's over."

"Fuck you mean you cun-"

It was at this exact point a monstrous plant slithered out of the brush and pounced on the unsuspecting mercenary. It swallowed the nuisance bothering it's mistress whole. Unbeknownst to Wade, the attackers had actually been herding him towards an abnormally large pitcher plant that resided further in the greenhouse. The muffled sounds of shouting and cursing could be heard by the two lovely ladies in attendance.

"Good job, my precious baby. Now show mommy what you found, come on honey." Pamela spoke in a loving voice to which the plant shivered and purred to. The mutated plant somehow unfurled itself, like a blossom in bloom. Inside it revealed the prey it had captured, covered head to boot clad toe in digestive enzymes. "You did such a good job my pretty little flower, but mommy needs this one alive." A loud whimper was the response. "I'll let you keep the next one to play with, okay?" The purring resumed followed by a shiver.

"Now hold the bad man still, that's it." At this the undeniable queen of undergrowth moved closer to her bound target. Her delicate hands reaching for his face, and lightly caressing the stranger before sliding her hands lower. "I wouldn't do that if I was you sweetness. I don't think you could handle me in all my glory." Wade chimed in. "If I wanted your opinion I'd have given it to you, now shut it." Her tone booked no room for arguments as her deft fingers finally found the edge of his mask. Ivy rolled it up slowly only enough to reveal his mouth, intrigued more than disgusted at the sight of his gruesome scaring. "Pucker up..." She murmured softly as her lips met his.

"Well did it work?" Harley asked impatiently as she bounced up next to Ivy. "Did it, did it, did it," The buxom blonde repeated as she leaned closer to inspect their victim. His breathing was slow, nearly unnaturally so, and his head was slack. The body was completely limp from what they could see and only supported by the mutant plant that had captured him. "No man can resist me." Pamela insisted smuggly.

"Honey, please keep him bound." The plant gave something akin to a bark as it seemed to straighten up at the attention. Ivy leaned towards the ensnared male, addressing the crimson clad stranger in a new, more authoritative tone. "Harley here has decided that she needs a new pet project, at least until we find her precious babies. You are to obey her every command as if it came directly from me. Is that understood?"

"Yes Mistress." Deadpool replied without hesitation. His voice lacked any trace of his usual snark. As a matter of fact, it was nearly devoid of any sense of personality period. Instead replaced by a monotone just this side of the dead.

"Let's go." The self-proclaimed champion of the green ordered as both the entranced captive and the harlequin followed her out of the greenhouse. The small group trekked across the expansive jungle like area and exited out onto a rooftop that held the large conservatory. Ivy was quiet as they walked, but the same could not be said for her partner in crime.

The bubbly blonde skipped circles around her new prize happily. "So, as your new mistress, why does that sound so dirty? I want you to tell me some more about yourself. Do ya' got any powers? Any special skills? How come we ain't eva' heard of ya'?" The busty clown girl asked, highly interested in what her new pet's response would be.

"I have an advanced healing factor granted via government experimentation. The experiment also granted me increased durability, superhuman strength, and agility as well. I am a certified expert marksman, swordsman, and hand to hand combatant. As for why you have never heard of me, it is because I am not from this universe." The masked maniac rattled off clinically, following at a respectful distance from his mistresses.

Harley took in his response and quickly analyzed his answers. She knew that when under the influence of Poison Ivy's pheromones or whatever, that only those with the strongest of wills could resist commands. So any information gathered was almost certainly guaranteed to be one hundred percent true. Apparently she pondered this too long as the enslaved merc halted his steps and turned to her. "Is this information satisfactory, mistress?"

The harlequin had stopped her childish antics to regard the costumed man seriously. She stepped into his space, poking a finger into his muscular chest. "Only if what you're sayin' is true. Now you wouldn't lie to little old me? Would ya'?"

"No, I would not."

"So Red it looks like we got a discount Deathstroke to do our bidding. How about that?" The acrobat queried as she began skipping towards the green vixen.

"Hm, well this is certainly a fortuitous turn of events, the moron may be of some use." Pamela muttered to herself before turning to the enslaved mercenary "And what might they call you in your universe?"

"Wade Winston Wilson. Though to most government agencies and Interpol I am known as Deadpool." He droned listlessly.

At the mention of Wilson, both women tensed slightly. "Wait a second, ya' wouldn't happen to be related to a Slade Wilson would ya'? Cuz' the last thing we need is that one-eyed monsta' comin' at us for messin' with ya' mind and all." Harley nervously blurted out, her eyes wide with fear as she quickly glanced left to right. Poison Ivy's cadence faltering at the mention of the infamous super powered soldier of fortune, if only for a moment.

"I am an only child. I have no living relatives. The Weapon X program rigorously checked that fact. They did not want anyone asking questions in the event that I 'disappear'." He replied. A sigh of relief escaping from both villains at the answer.

"Well that's pretty fuckin' sad, but look on the bright side. Ya' gots me and Pammy now!" The jester offered brightly, spinning around with a flourish to face the misplaced merc. "Ain't that right Ivy?"

"I wouldn't get too attached." Ivy replied callously. The red head tossed a glance over her shoulder to meet the other woman's eyes. "Remember at best he's just a tool, a weapon, and an expendable one at that. Once you get your hyenas back I'm most likely going to dispose of this flesh bag."

"But,"

"Harley." Poison Ivy's tone softened a bit as she interrupted the blonde. "Nothing is written in stone, and he could prove to be worth all the trouble or he could prove to be just the opposite." She produced a small tulip, the tiny bulb sprouting from her fingertips before blooming. "We'll just have to wait and see. I just want you to be prepared for anything. You do understand that don't you?" At this the flower withered and died.

The clown princess of crime nodded in understanding, her face reflecting how serious she regarded the whole situation. "I get it, believe me Ivy, I really do."

The green skinned femme fatale sighed at the response and turned back around. Continuing the trek down into the depths of the building that served as their base of operations and home. As they descended down the flights of stairs, Harley turned her attention back to her new source of entertainment.

"I guess we're gonna have ta' find some way of showing her ya' worth keeping around. Hmmm? There's gotta be somethin'."

"Wilson, come here." Ivy called out as the trio reached what would look like the residential area. The red head perched herself up on a stool, with Harley following her example and carelessly plopping herself onto a nearby couch. The masked man dutifully moved towards his mistress until she signalled him to halt. He stood straight as he awaited further instruction. "Sit."

Wade moved into a crossed leg sitting position, his head tilted to the side slightly. The image made Ivy snort in derision.

"So before I leave you in the hands of Harley. I want to make two things crystal clear. Under no circumstances are you to ever harm or disobey either of us." At this she paused, waiting for a sign of understanding before continuing. "And at the first sign of danger, you should protect our lives at all costs. Even your own." The mind controlled merc nodded again and Pamela smirked at his obedience. "That's all, now go be a good boy for Harley."

XxXxX

Harleen continued to wonder about her current conundrum late into the night. When the answer struck her like lightning. "A heist!" She exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands together whilst jumping up and down. A crazed fit of giggles taking over as she threw herself onto her mattress. The buxom blonde sighed in relief and relaxed into the plush pillowtop, cuddling into a nearby stuffed unicorn of ridiculous proportions. "Now I just gotta think about which bank to knock over and when we should do it."

With rest not coming to her as fast as she thought it would, the acrobat continued to voice her thoughts to herself, having always found it somewhat therapeutic. "First National? Nah, that's where Gobble-farts stashes his 'legal' cash and I don't wanna deal with that shitstorm. How's about Gotham Trust? Eh maybe, Roman don't do much business there since Dent and his crew pulled that job a few years back." now twirling one of her pigtails she huffed and rolled over onto her stomach.

"Agh, since when was planning a robbery so effin' hard!" She screamed into her oversized plushie. 'I haven't even got to the finer details of my bright idea… but then again that's what friends are for!' rolling back over she turned her gaze to her poster plastered ceiling. 'So it's settled, I pick the place n' time and she fills in the blanks. Great! Now back to the first problem.'

"Wait a second I think I got it!" She exclaimed as she jumped off her mattress and began skipping in circles. "The Falcone family was rumored to have stashed their cash in one of the many banks in Gotham." she rattled off as her pace slowed and a more analytical expression formed on her face. She spun on her heel and made a bee-line for her laptop and quickly pulled up as much history as she could about bank robberies in Gotham City.

"Now thinking back to the most notable jobs pulled off in the last three decades, and eliminating any location used by a different crime lord or organization… that would leave only the lower Eastside branch of the Gotham Savings & Loans untouched." 'I wonder why?' She thought sarcastically before she gasped and remembered that she had to tell her bestie Pam.

Bursting from her room like a bat out of hell, the clown managed to trip over a stray vine, however before she could faceplant she seamlessly entered into a handspring instead. Harley bowed twice to the empty room before continuing on her way. In no time at all she found herself in front of Ivy's door, not seeing the point in knocking Harley barreled through the door shouting excitedly. "RED! I got a plan I think ya' might like!"

The surprised plant/human hybrid quickly schooled her features before ever so gracefully responding. "Harley, if this involves another one of your pranks I swear I will feed that masked monkey of yours to my children." Standing up from her bed and crossing her arms in front of her torso. "Well, out with it." she replied shortly, understandably annoyed as she was nearly asleep.

"Heh, sorry Red," Harleen bashfully apologized before continuing "but I figured out a good way to test my new pet's skills."

"And this couldn't wait until morning?" the goddess of the Green yawned as she lowered her arms and placed one on her cocked hip.

"Nope." Popping the 'P' at the end, the harlequin quickly continued. "How's about we rob a bank to test his skill? And not just any bank, no ma'am, but the Falcone Family Fortune! I think I figured out where they stashed it. But I'mma need your help-"

"Obviously."

"Rude. But as I was sayin', I need your help with the finer points on this." the blonde bombshell finished.

Ever suspicious of a job offer so lucrative Pamela couldn't help but voice her thoughts. "So, just to make sure I'm on the same page here, you figured out where one of the most sought after scores in recent memory is stashed," at this the acrobat nodded "and you want to take an unknown and unproven 'mercenary' with us," another nod followed "and not only do you want to drag me into this mess, but you want me to concoct a somewhat decent plan for this?"

Doing her best to ignore her roomie's increasingly annoyed tone Harley smiled brightly and responded with a slightly smug "Ya' got any better ideas?"

The poisonous seductress had to admit that the former psychiatrist had her there. "Hmph, for once, I don't."

XxXxX

Author's Note: Holy shit guys and gals. It's been a minute, huh? First off we'd like to apologize for the years of absence, secondly we'd like to reassure any readers out there that this here story will be finished. Now we'll be posting a lot more frequently and we just want to thank all of those who fav'd, followed, or reviewed during our abrupt hiatus. We got a lot planned for this story and hope to take y'all along for one hell of a ride!

As we get back into the swing of things, we just wanna stress that this story will be finished and that we are thankful for every view, review, fav or follow.

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