Story 1: "Surprise"

Summary: In which Lenalee and Lavi discover a certain secret.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

We were on our way home, but there was a problem with the tracks and the next train wouldn't be until tomorrow. It baffled me that Central wouldn't allow Allen to use the ark to get us home quicker.

We found an inn to stay at, but while we were settling in, something set Allen and Kanda off. I didn't see what happened, but the two couldn't be in a room together for more than five minutes without fighting unless there was food or akuma involved, so I didn't particularly care. The usual Moyashi's and Bakanda's were exchanged, then came the clashing of Innocence and stronger insults. I rolled my eyes and ignored them. As long as they could put their differences aside on the battlefield, and didn't actually kill the other off of it, I didn't care that they hated each other. I loved my nakama like family, and having siblings that fought like cats and dogs just made everything feel so much more real. And so I didn't think anything of it when, like usual, one of them took an insult too far, causing the other to activate their Innocence and chase them out of the room. It was routine, expected. Allen and Kanda would never get along. Even Link was used to it. He no longer tried to make them stop or chased after Allen when they ran off. And today was no exception. Instead of following after his charge, he pulled out a book and settled into a chair in the lobby, simply waiting out Allen's return.

With no akuma in the area to fight - Allen had done a scan when we first arrived - Lavi and I wandered aimlessly through the marketplace, but there was nothing to see and it didn't kill as much time as we had hoped. We headed back towards the inn, deciding it was time to check on Allen and Kanda and make sure they were still alive.

We were a couple blocks away when we caught sight of something strange.

At first, it was just a glimpse of long dark blue hair. Knowing of only one person who had that hair color, we moved closer silently, wanting to make sure it was Kanda before we drew attention to ourselves, mostly because if it was Kanda he would kill us for making a scene.

The second look revealed that it was indeed Kanda, and his hair was down, out of its usual ponytail. And I'm not going to lie: Kanda with his hair down was smoking hot. I might have said something about it, but what he was doing was so completely unexpected that I was frozen in place.

Kanda Yuu had a girl pinned to the wall of the dark alley. And he was making out with her.

We couldn't see her very well in the dim light, just a pair of dark knee high boots and long dark coat. Kanda's body had her pressed into the wall so firmly that we couldn't make out any part of her aside from the general impression of her clothes. And his hair, that curtain of navy blue that reached past his waist, obscured any chance of making out the girl's features. In fact, we could only tell they were making out from the, rather loud, noises they were making.

I could do nothing but gape, my jaw practically reaching the ground. Kanda, antisocial homicidal Kanda, was with a girl. It seemed too impossible. No one back home would ever believe this!

Lavi wasn't quite as shell-shocked as I was. "Hey Yuu-chan! Nice catch!"

Kanda and the girl froze in horror, the animalistic growl he let out fiercer than any he'd ever given to Allen. He didn't even look up to threaten Lavi. "Usagi. Fuck off. If you don't leave now I can't guarantee that you'll wake up tomorrow."

Lavi gulped at the threat, but didn't back down. Could he not see that this was not one of Kanda's usual death threats, and he actually intended to carry it out? Instead, he pressed the issue further. "But I wanna see! You've never expressed any interest in anyone ever. I wanna know what kind of girl gets your motor running."

Kanda growled again, but didn't move, keeping the position that blocked the girl from view. Odd. Usually by now, he'd have Mugen at Lavi's throat. The growl was followed by a whisper so faint that I could barely tell that the girl had said anything. Kanda grunted in response. "Not a girl, Baka Usagi. Now fuck off."

'Not a girl'? Then Kanda was ... making out with ... a guy? Lavi and I exchanged looks of disbelief. Kanda was gay? I had no clue how to process that information, and apparently neither did Lavi. "You're gay? What? When did that happen?"

"Che. None of your damn business, Baka. Now, run away while you still have your life." Kanda sounded ready to murder Lavi right then and there, it was terrifying knowing that this wasn't like his usual threats and he would actually go through with killing Lavi.

Thinking we had left, the pair resumed their make out session, only this time it was louder. We stared as Kanda moved his leg, separating the other's legs with his knee. The knee slid upward along the wall until it was resting against the other man's groin. Unable to move I watched in a sick combination of fascination and horror as Kanda began to tease the man's crotch with his knee. The moans that escaped the man were breathy from the lack of air caused by the kissing. And I was shocked to realize that I recognized the voice. But that just wasn't possible. There was no way it would actually be him. Without realizing it, the name slipped off my tongue. "Allen-kun?"

"Eh?" Lavi's freaked out exclamation came at the same time as Kanda's angry, "Fuck!"

"Did I not make myself clear earlier? Go. The. Fuck. Away." Kanda's aura grew colder and more murderous than I'd ever felt it before. I flinched away, still trying to process what I was seeing.

Lavi's expression had changed from disbelief to panic, but a different kind of panic from what Kanda wanted. "I can't leave if you're doing unspeakable things to our innocent little Allen-chan."

"Che. I'm not doing anything to him that he doesn't want. Now leave us alone." To prove his point he pressed his knee against "Allen's" groin. The moan "Allen" let out was clearly begging for more.

"Allen" and Kanda. What? How? When? I could barely breathe. It made no sense. They hated each other. There was no way that they were actually together. Kanda had to be pulling one over on us. That or Lavi's fears were right, and Kanda was on the verge of raping our little brother.

But then "Allen" spoke, and even though it was just one softly spoken word, there was no denying that it was really him. "Bakanda."

Kanda clicked his tongue and took a step back, revealing a flushed and panting Allen Walker. His short white hair was sticking out in all different directions, and his silver eyes were clouded with ... lust? He actually wanted Kanda? He looked in our general direction, but from the glazed look in his eyes, I got the impression that he couldn't actually see us. "Could you please leave? I'd like to finish what we started in privacy, and I know that Yuu here doesn't give a shit and he'll continue whether you're here or not."

If I weren't already shocked beyond words, I might have caught the swear word that "innocent little Allen-chan" used. Or that he had used Kanda's first name without getting almost skewered by Mugen. As it was, I didn't even register Lavi pulling me out of that alley, or that this time Allen was the one pinning Kanda to the wall.

.x.x.

I'd been the old panda's apprentice for quite some time. I'd become a little jaded. I thought I'd seen everything. Until that day.

Seeing Kanda like that, seeing him making out with someone, was completely mind blowing. I knew he'd hate me for it, but I pestered him with questions, I had to get as much information as I could. And my brain just about exploded when he admitted to being gay. I wished Allen was there to see it for himself, he'd never believe me.

Except that he was there the whole time!

When Lenalee whispered his name, it took my trained eye less than a second to recognize the body pressed into the wall as Allen. Panic took over immediately. I had to stop Kanda from raping Allen. It was a stupid idea for several reasons; the biggest two were that it was a lapse of emotion that the panda would chew me out for, and Kanda was seriously ready to kill me. I tried anyway.

In retrospect, I'm not sure why my brain immediately jumped to rape. Lenalee and I had been watching the make out session for a good five minutes. And Allen was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. If he was truly in distress, he would have said something to us.

And the look on Allen's face when he finally pushed Kanda off... That was yet another sight that blew my mind. I had always thought of Allen as innocent and naive. But that look belonged to someone much more experienced than I was. The idea that Allen wasn't a virgin made my brain hurt, and even more impossible was knowing that it was Kanda who did it.

I fled. I couldn't process what I was seeing anymore. Lenalee looked like I felt, and didn't protest when I dragged her away. It was still early, but I went back to the inn. She looked ready to collapse and I knew that I wasn't much better. What we'd just witnessed was cause for an early bedtime.

.x.x.

I didn't see Allen or Kanda again until breakfast the next morning. Lavi had led me straight to my room after what we witnessed in the alley, and I lost consciousness as soon as I collapsed on the bed. On waking, I had assumed the whole thing was a dream, but breakfast proved me wrong.

Allen and Kanda came in together. They were bickering about something, but it was clearly different from their normal arguing. They sat next to each other, and the four of us (no one noticed or cared that a certain stalker was missing) talked about the weather and other menial things. It was much like a normal meal, except that Allen didn't fly off the handle at his nickname. And it was surreal to realize that the lack of ice I noticed in Kanda's glare had actually been gone for months.

Eventually Lavi brought attention to the elephant in the room. I'm kind of surprised he waited, he looked like he wanted to pounce on them the second they came in. "Sooo... Can we ask about what happened yesterday?"

Kanda and Allen exchanged a look, holding a silent conversation. Kanda broke away and devoted his attention to his food. "Che."

Allen rolled his eyes with a whispered "Bakanda", and then turned his attention back to Lavi and me. "You can ask, but don't expect us to tell you anything." His tone was defensive, and it seemed out of place coming from that sweet boy.

Lavi immediately jumped on the permission to ask the questions that had been bouncing around in his head all night. "Was yesterday a one-time thing or are you actually together? How long have you been together? Who started it? Do you-"

He cut off abruptly as his chair tumbled over backwards. Kanda, whom I assumed had done the kicking, was smirking at Allen, whose face was the picture of innocence. Once Lavi had ceased grumbling and returned to his seat, Allen spoke. "If you want answers you're going to have to give us time to talk."

Lavi either didn't catch the danger in Allen's voice or he ignored it. "Fair enough." He laughed. "So how long have you two been a couple?"

"Six months?" The question in Allen's voice was directed at Kanda.

I spoke before catching Kanda's nonverbal response. "You don't know how long you've been together?"

Kanda clicked his tongue and Allen blushed a little. "That wasn't what Lavi asked." He looked down at his empty plates. "We've been together since I first came to the Order. But I don't know if we're a couple or not."

"Why'd you say six months? You've been at the Order a lot longer than that." Lavi brought up a good point.

Allen's blush deepened. Kanda laughed, or rather chuckled at Allen's expense, and then spoke bluntly. "Because prior to six months ago all we did was have sex."

My eyes bulged out of my head. Lavi seemed as blown away as I felt. Allen looked mortified for a moment, then immediately rounded on Kanda. "Bakanda!"

"What?" Kanda's smirk was very smug. "You weren't ever going to say it, Moyashi."

Allen was momentarily speechless. "Bu- I- No- I- Fine. But you didn't have to say it like that!"

"Would you rather I-" Kanda's retort was cut off by Lavi.

"What happened six months ago?"

"Kanda confessed." Allen's response was swift and to the point. And said with a smirk aimed at Kanda.

"Eh?!" Lavi and I freaked out in unison. "Details! Details!"

Kanda glared at us. Allen laughed at him. "Mo-ya-shiiii..."

When Allen finally focused on us, his tone was deadly serious. "No. No details. That memory is precious to me and I'm not going to share it with you."

"But-" Lavi whined.

"No."

Lavi huffed. Then his pout turned to a smirk. "So who's on top?"

I choked on my water. I couldn't believe he would ask that. Sure, I wanted to know, but to ask straight out like that... Allen looked ready to kill Lavi. So did Kanda, but that wasn't anything new. It wasn't surprising that Lavi and his chair tumbled to the floor again. When he righted himself, Mugen was pointed at his throat.

While Kanda threatened some sense into Lavi, I tried to process what I'd learned. As ridiculous as it seemed, Allen and Kanda were a couple. And they were in love. Or at least Kanda was in love. But with everything they'd said and done that morning, Allen must return the feeling. But they said that happened six months ago. And yet they'd been together since Allen joined the Order? Kanda had said it was just sex, but there had to be more to it. I was missing something.

"Umm. I have a question." The bickering between Kanda and Lavi ceased, and Allen took the opportunity to push Kanda back into his seat.

"What is it, Lenalee?" Allen spoke like we hadn't just been making a scene in the middle of a crowded inn.

"Well, I can kind of put together the whole confession part; after all we all almost died that day on the ark. I can understand wanting to confess love after all of that. But what I don't get is how you got together in the first place. How do two people who hate each other as much as you did end up in bed together?"

"I don't know. It just happened. One minute we were beating the crap out of each other, and the next we were making out. After that it just became part of the routine, we'd fight and then fuck each other's brains out." Allen sounded so nonchalant about the whole thing.

It was strange to hear the boy we referred to as 'innocent' talk about sex like it was no big deal. But then I thought that if he truly had spent months engaged in casual sex with someone he hated, then he really did think of it that way. Which brought up an entirely different question. "But if you're really together, how come you still fight all the time?"

Kanda broke the glare that had been keeping Lavi silent and turned his usual 'how stupid can you get' glare at me. "Che. Just because we're together doesn't mean we don't still drive each other crazy."

"Oh. Right."

"But there's more to it than that, isn't there?" Lavi asked.

Allen and Kanda gave Lavi identical looks that said 'Duh.' Allen explained with a shrug. "Fighting all the time gets people to leave us alone."

"And more importantly, it keeps a certain bothersome inspector from finding out." Kanda finished for him.

I didn't understand. "But why do you need to keep it a secret?"

They looked at me like I was a moron. And given what they said next, I felt like one.

"In case you haven't noticed, we're both male." Kanda's sarcasm was lost on me.

It was Lavi's quiet explanation that hit home. "Homosexuality is considered a mortal sin by the Catholic Church. They would literally be executed for it if they got caught."

I stared at Allen and Kanda in horror. Kanda growled murderously, and Allen sighed. Their expressions said that they were prepared to die for their love, but they would fight it every step of the way. It was sort of amazing to see that they loved each other that much. I decided then and there that when we got back home I would be having a long chat with my brother.

Allen broke the silence that had fallen over our table. His gaze had dropped to the table, and he looked terrified. "So... Can we trust you to keep this to yourselves?"

He wasn't just asking us to keep their secret. He was asking if they could count on us to watch their backs like we do on the battlefield, to keep them alive. And my answer was an immediate and emphatic "Of course!"

Lavi had remained silent. I looked at him expectantly. He seemed torn. He sighed and spoke slowly. "As far as Central and the Order are concerned, you can consider your secret safe. But I don't know if this is something I can keep from Bookman."

Kanda's glare remained unchanged, but I think I saw a flicker of that murderous aura from yesterday. Allen looked like a kicked puppy. "Oh. Right. I-I understand."

Lavi sighed and shook his head. "Don't give me that look, Allen-chan. If he thinks it's relevant I won't have a choice. But you don't have to worry. He won't tell anyone either."

The atmosphere was tense. Until Lavi spoke again. He looked smug and he practically sang his words. "You answered my question!"

"Which question was that?" Allen asked warily. I think we were all scared of what Lavi would say next.

"You know which one." He smirked at Allen, and then focused on Kanda. "You let him top you? I'm surprised. Doesn't that go against everything you are?"

I wondered how Lavi had reached that conclusion, wondered how he knew Allen had topped Kanda.

Lavi's chair was kicked out from under him again, but this time he was prepared for it and stood instead of falling. What he was not prepared for, however, was to be facing Allen's black side. One glare had Lavi apologizing repeatedly.

"What? You thought I'd be submissive to all of Kanda's whims? You must not know me very well. He hated me back then, and I never once had to tell him that if he wanted to give it then he'd have to be willing to take it."

Allen was pushed back into his seat by Kanda, who appeared to be trying not to laugh. "Moyashi..."

"My name's Allen, Bakanda!" The reaction was surprising, a sudden reminder that Kanda had been using that nickname all morning without Allen protesting against it.

Allen sighed and leaned back in his chair, his dark side gone. He gave Kanda a look, and Kanda started laughing. That was by far the most surprising thing to happen in the last 24 hours. I had thought seeing Kanda kissing someone would be the strangest thing I'd ever see. Apparently, I was wrong.

.x.x.

After breakfast, we headed to the train station. We found Link there, he was pissed we took so long to catch up with him. He also chewed Allen out for returning to his room late the night before. It was hard to listen to. The knowledge I'd gained at breakfast only made Link's presence in Allen's life more unfair than it already was.

.x.x.

I stormed into Nii-san's office, making a scene as I slammed the door behind me. He had been sleeping, but was startled awake by the noise. He blinked at me expectantly. "I have a question for you, Nii-san."

Komui looked like he was scared of me. If I hadn't had other concerns, I would have wondered if he had built another robot while I was gone. "What is it, Lenalee?"

"I heard something disturbing from Lavi, and I want to know if it's true." For all my anger over the issue, I really had no idea how to ask what I wanted to know. Komui waited patiently for me to continue. "He said that homosexuality is punishable by death. Is that really true? Is it true that someone could be killed just for loving another of the same gender?"

"Why do you want to know about that?!" The panic in his voice made it clear that he thought I was talking about myself.

"Just answer the question, Nii-san!" I slammed my hands down on the edge of his desk. I was too upset to deal with his issues. My friends were a much more pressing concern.

"It's true." He sighed and took off his glasses. "But it's not that black and white. Not where the Order is concerned."

"Explain."

"We're a special branch of the church; the rules don't apply to us in the same way they apply to others." He leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "If we're talking about scientists or finders, then it's hard to say. It really would depend on the circumstances and who's involved. But you're asking about a fellow exorcist..."

I stared intently at him as I waited impatiently for him to finish the thought.

"Unless it's someone like Allen-kun, who's already under suspicion, then it's safe to say that the issue would be overlooked."

"And what would happen if it was Allen?" I could barely get the words out. I was terrified of the answer.

Komui's eyes locked with mine as he looked up. They were wide with shock. Nii-san was smart; he didn't need me to tell him that the question wasn't hypothetical. And now he was struggling, much like Lavi and I had, to grasp the idea that Allen was gay. When he finally spoke, his voice was shaky. "Who?"

I knew what he meant, but I couldn't bring myself to say the name. "Who's the last person you'd ever suspect of saying out loud that he's in love with Allen?"

Komui seemed confused by the question, but he remained silent and pondered the answer. His eyes widened once again when it clicked, and he stood up so fast his chair nearly fell over. "Kanda?! Kanda and Allen slept together?!"

"Nii-san! You're being too loud!" I hissed, not bothering to point out that he had jumped to conclusions because they were right.

He laughed a little as he sat back down. "Somehow that makes perfect sense." After a slight pause, he spoke again. "What's the status of their relationship?"

"Nii-san! This isn't what I came to talk to you about!" Komui was just as bad as Lavi!

He shook his head then gave me his serious stare. "It's important. Your answer to my question changes my answer to your question."

"Meaning?" Komui gave me a look, so I elaborated before he could interrupt. "I promised them that I would keep this a secret. I need you to explain better before I can decide if I can tell you."

"You've already given them away." He pouted then sighed. "But I see your point. Basically, how much trouble they're in depends on what their relationship is like. If they're actually together is going to have a different consequence than if they're just messing around."

I wanted him to continue, but I could see that he had nothing more to say until I gave him the rest of the story. "They're together."

Komui gave a pointed look at my reluctant answer, and waited for me to continue. "They confessed love six months ago. And I know they're sleeping together."

"And how do you know that?! Did you see them-?"

"They told me!" I did not have enough patience to deal with Komui's worries about my purity. "The only thing I saw was a very intense make out session. And Kanda nearly killed us just for that. I don't want to know what he would have done if we'd seen more than that. Can we get back on topic now?"

I waited on pins and needles while Nii-san collected himself. "I don't want to get your hopes up, but they'll probably be fine. So long as they're discreet. But I can't see either of them enjoying public displays, so that's a bit of a moot point. The trick is going to be to get everyone used to the idea..."

He drifted off, but I could tell he wasn't done. I had relaxed knowing that Komui thought they'd be ok, but I was still anxious over what came next. When he began talking again, he almost sounded excited. "The first thing to do is adjust the mission schedule. I'll need to be sneaky to not arouse suspicion... I know! I'll call it an experiment! I'll say that I'm trying to see if having Allen and Kanda do all of their missions together will make them get along better."

That had to be one of the most psychotic things I'd ever heard my brother say. "I know you're trying to help, but all that's going to do is piss the two of them off."

He didn't hear me. He was too far into his plan. I backed away. Maybe if I escaped now I could deny my involvement. Things were about to get very scary at the Order...