I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Yes folks it's time once again for another pointless pet fic. This is based on a real news story I saw on CNN. I read it and this came into my deranged mind. Hey I have to do something until they start showing new episodes! Which by the look of things is not going to be a while. (Sob!) So I guess it's up to us fanfiction writers to pick up the slack! As usual!

Toad and the Two-Headed Turtle

"Hey Lance check this out!" Fred said as he flipped on the news station. He was watching TV with Pietro as Lance walked in.

"This is reporter Trish Tilby reporting live from the Bayville Aquarium," She spoke standing in front of a tank filled with exotic fish. "Recently here the aquarium was home to an unusual visitor. A rare two headed turtle." A shot of a small baby turtle with two heads popped up. "This loggerhead sea turtle was found by scientists in Naples, Florida."

"A mutant turtle," Lance shook his head. "Now where have I heard that before?"

"Boy when they say mutants are popping up everywhere they ain't kidding," Fred shook his head. "But here's the real interesting part!"

"Here with me now is Dr. Rosa," Trish explained. "The leading scientist of this museum. Dr. Rosa how did this possible?"

"A two headed turtle is most likely a natural mutation, not caused by chemicals or any outside influence," Dr. Rosa said. "We were planning to study it but it was stolen last night."

"Who would steal a baby two headed turtle?" Lance asked. "What kind of nut would do something like that?"

"Police are baffled at the theft," Trish Tilby reported. "The only clue is a strange green slimy substance found at the scene."

"Ask a stupid question!" Lance raised his hands.

"TOAD!" Pietro zoomed upstairs.

"Oh I can't wait to hear this one," Lance casually followed him upstairs.

Pietro burst in just in time to see Todd hide a box behind his back. "What is in the box?" Pietro asked.

"What box?" Todd blinked.

"The one you are trying to hide!" Pietro grabbed it from him.

"Hey give that back!" Todd shouted.

"Is it in there?" Lance asked as the others walked into the room.

"Oh yeah," Pietro rolled his eyes as he opened it.

"I knew it!" Lance groaned. "Okay Toad why did you steal a two headed turtle?"

"I had to!" Todd pleaded. "They were gonna study them in a lab! I couldn't let them do that! They're mutants too! Poor little Todd and Wanda Jr."

"Who?" Wanda asked.

"That's what I named them," Todd smiled. "I wanted a boy and a girl."

"Todd and Wanda Jr?" Wanda blinked. "I am going to be seriously ill."

"Okay Toad," Pietro grumbled. "Let's take a reality check here. What good is a two headed turtle to us?"

"They can be our mascot!" Todd took the box away. "Hey since they got 2 heads they can also be handy on lookout duty!"

"He's got a point," Fred said.

"I am not hearing this conversation," Wanda groaned.

"I can keep it in this aquarium I found," Todd told them.

"Toad it's a sea water turtle," Pietro said.

"So I'll put some salt in the water," Todd shrugged.

"Oh yeah that will solve the problem," Pietro rolled his eyes.

"Look they need me okay?" Todd told them. "I'm sorry Sweetums but I gotta cut back on our time together. You understand. They need me to take care of them right now."

"Let me see if I get this straight," Wanda said. "You are going to spend more time taking care of a two headed turtle than hassling me?" She turned to the others. "The turtle stays!"

"Well I guess that settles it," Lance gulped.

"That doesn't settle anything!" Pietro snapped as he grabbed the box from Todd. "I'm the leader and what I say goes!"

"Pietro," Wanda growled.

"And I say let Toad have his cute little baby turtle," Pietro said sweetly, returning the turtle to Todd. "Nice little Wanda and Todd Jr. Yes you are! Yes you are!" He put his hand in the box to pet it. "OWWW! IT BIT ME!"

"I'm liking it already," Lance snickered as he and Fred left the room.

"Yeah the little guy does grow on you doesn't it?" Fred smiled.

"This is great! Just great!" Pietro inspected his finger. "Does this look infected to you?"

"Poor little guys," Todd took the turtle out of the box. "We need to take care of that. They could have gotten a disease or something!" He went out of the room.

"Oh I'm fine! I'm fine! Thank you very much!" Pietro snapped.

"You are such a baby," Wanda rolled her eyes as she walked out of the room.

"Am not!" Pietro made a face at her.

************************************************************************

Later that day Lance was watching TV when Pietro stormed in. "Now where are they?" Pietro grumbled.

"Who?" Lance sighed.

"Blob and Toad!" Pietro snapped. "I sent those two geniuses to do some reconnaissance on the X-Geeks an hour ago! School let out an hour ago, they should have been back by now!"

"You're now spying on the X-Geeks?" Lance looked at him. "Man and I thought I had issues."

"We need to know what they're planning!" Pietro snapped. "I've already learned that Rogue wasn't at school after the concert attack last weekend! I wonder why Sabertooth and Juggernaut went nuts at that concert? Gotta ask Magneto about that."

"They've been in the back yard the past hour," Lance told him.

"WHAT?" Pietro snapped. "Those two…"

They went outside to find that they were doing something with some toy racecars. Wanda was watching them. "Hey," She waved. "Wanna watch these two? I've been babysitting them for an hour."

"What are you morons doing?" Pietro snapped. "I told you to go spy on the X-Geeks!"

"We were getting around to it," Fred told him.

"When? After you kiddies play with your racecars? Where did you get the race cars anyway?" Pietro asked.

"We swiped 'em duh!" Fred rolled his eyes. "Okay Toad I'm gonna beat you this time!"

"No way!" Todd played with the controls. "My little guy's gonna beat you!"

"I'm gonna beat you over the head if you two don't stop goofing off!" Pietro snapped. He grabbed Todd's controls.

"Leggo man!" Todd tried to yank them away.

"You let go!" Pietro snapped.

"Oh this is much better than watching TV," Lance snickered as they fought.

That's when Todd's racecar went out of control. "Oh no! My turtle's in there!" Todd cried out. Just then it spun around wildly and crashed into a tree. "TODD AND WANDA JR! OH NO!"

"Way to go Pietro you just killed Toad's turtle," Fred snapped.

"Hey how was I to know? What was it doing in there in the first place?" Pietro asked.

"I wanted to give it a ride," Todd told him looking at the wreckage. He used his slime to put out the small fire.

"It got one," Wanda remarked.

"Well it lasted a whole day," Lance sighed. "That's about average for a Brotherhood pet."

"Come on guys let's find the body and prepare for the funeral," Pietro sighed.

"Funeral?" Wanda blinked.

"Yeah we got our own little pet cemetery," Lance told her. "You'd be amazed how often this happens."

"You've had pets before?" Wanda blinked.

"Oh yeah. We've had frogs, hamsters, a tarantula…" Lance listed them.

"Toad ate the tarantula," Pietro frowned.

"Goldfish," Lance continued.

"Freddy ate that," Pietro grumbled.

"I like sushi okay?" Fred snapped.

"Didn't you guys ever have a dog or a cat like normal people?" Wanda asked.

"No but we once had a giraffe and a penguin," Todd told her.

"A what?" Wanda blinked. "I knew this place was a zoo but this is unbelievable!"

"Hey help me find the body yo!" Todd said as he looked at the wreckage.

"I don't see him," Fred looked around. "Maybe he jumped?"

"Turtles don't jump lamebrain!" Pietro snapped.

"Well it ain't in the car," Todd told him. "We gotta find it!"

"I don't believe this?" Lance grumbled looking around. "How hard can it be to find a dead 2 headed turtle?"

"Apparently it's…" Pietro looked under a bush and put his hand in it. "YEOOOWWW!"

"I think Pietro found him," Fred said.

"You stupid shelled freak!" Pietro snapped as he pulled it out. Both heads were clamped on his finger.

"Hey he's not dead!" Todd piped up happily.

"No but he will be soon!" Pietro snapped. "Listen you have two seconds to let go of my finger or else!"

"They're just a little cranky Pietro," Todd told him.

"Yeah well maybe a swim will relax 'em!" Pietro ran off into the house.

"Where are you taking my turtle?" Todd ran after him. The rest of the Brotherhood followed. "What's he gonna do with him yo?"

"I hope he ain't thinking of doing what I think he's thinking…" Lance said.

"What?" Todd asked. The sound of a toilet flushing rang through the house. "He didn't…"

"He did," Lance groaned.

"Ha! Ha!" Pietro grinned and brushed his hands as he came downstairs. "No more turtle!"

"You flushed my turtle!" Todd whined. He clung to Wanda. "Wanda comfort me!"

"Pietro you are so dead!" Wanda growled after shoving Todd off her. Then she started chasing after her brother with various objects flying after him and hitting him.

"You wanna watch TV?" Lance asked the others after a few minutes.

"Yeah okay," Fred shrugged. "I've seen this before. You comin' Toad?"

"Yeah why not? Poor Todd and Wanda Jr.," Todd sniffed. "Well…I hope now they're in a better place."

"WANDA PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! YEOOOOOWWW!"

"Anyplace but here is a better place," Lance remarked. "At least for Pietro."

Not long after, somewhere across town…

Kelly sighed as he entered the bathroom. Ten seconds later a blood-curdling shriek could be heard from there. "THERE'S A MUTANT TWO HEADED TURTLE IN MY TOILET!" Kelly screamed. "NOT ANOTHER MUTANT! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!"