I know, I know. Starting a new story when What's Lost is Frozen is nowhere near done. But I just have no self control! But anyways, this is the I passed out on your balcony that is five stories high sorry fic you didn't know you needed!
Chapter 1
Anya
Tired and just done with everything, Anya made her way home at three in the morning. Why she had chosen to walk, she would never know. However it was slightly more bearable considering her partner, Lexa was by her side. Lexa was one of those people you could be silent with, who wouldn't badger you with nuances as they tried to fill the quiet.
They were both FBI agents and they made a great team. Not only had Anya been Lexa's trainer but they had bonded and formed a friendship. Now they even lived together.
Yesterday they had performed a huge drug bust and were then lucky enough to spend their entire night writing reports. At least they weren't police officers. Those unlucky bastards had to deal with all the drunken college students last night. Some of the local bars had offered free beer to celebrate the beginning of the Christmas holidays for the college kids, all the while promoting their business.
Her arm brushed Lexa's as she walked and she felt proud to know Lexa would not pull away. Lexa was a very private person who preferred books to people, and it was a privilege in Anya's mind to get close to her. Anyone who hurt her would have to suffer through Anya's own wrath.
Finally their building came into view and Anya lengthened her stride, Lexa keeping up with ease. Her coat flapped in the brisk wind and Anya could just tell it would snow soon. The thought of a white Christmas was nice but the fought of fighting through snow was not.
Slipping through the front door after keying in the code, Anya gave one longing look at the elevator before heading towards the stairs. It helped with her fitness. She trudged upwards at a steady pace.
"Do we have any food?" Lexa asked.
Anya paused and groaned. Sure, they had money and sure, they lived in a fucking nice apartment that Anya owned, but the actual act of grocery shopping was something neither Lexa nor Anya were interested in.
"We ate the last of the leftovers yesterday," Anya stayed still and looked at Lexa.
Lexa sighed, glancing down the staircase. She then said, "Pizza or Thai?"
"Pizza," Anya said with finality, starting back up the stairs.
It didn't really matter what she ate anyway, her exercise regime would make the average athlete crawl into a ball and die. Possibly the only person who could keep up with her was Lexa, and even she struggled on occasion.
Finally they reached their door. Anya pulled her key out her pocket and stuck it in the lock before swinging it open. Too lazy to hang up her gun or any of the knives she probably shouldn't be carrying up yet she walked over to the kitchen, boots smacking against the tiles.
She saw Lexa whipping out her cell phone as she leaned against the breakfast bar, also neglecting to put away her gun. She swung open the fridge door and pulled out the milk cartoon, taking a few swallows straight from the bottle. She ignored the pointed glare she knew Ms Lexa the Anti-Germ Freak was sending her. Wiping her mouth and setting it back in its place she looked at the dismally empty fridge and knowing the cupboard was in a similar state, resigned herself to shopping tomorrow.
She heard Lexa rattle off their usual order and then hang up the phone. She shut the fridge a bit too forcefully before turning to look at Lexa. Lexa's eyes were wary as she gazed at Anya. More specifically, Anya's evil little smirk.
"We," Anya began dramatically, "Are going shopping tomorrow."
It was Lexa's turn to groan.
"Anya, there's basically only a week until Christmas! You're insane!" Lexa looked dumfounded.
Anya laughed. "Just because I can get away with eating junk food until Christmas is over doesn't mean I want to, Lexa. And if I'm suffering so are you."
Lexa huffed in displeasure as she turned the heater up. Anya just laughed again and walked over to the iPod dock and plugged her phone. She could do with some music. It may be 3AM but she wanted music and food, and she needed that to relax before she could even think of sleep. On the bright side, she had managed to get the next three days off for her and Lexa.
She scrolled through her music for a few minutes before flicking into the latest album from Panic! At the Disco, Death of a Bachelor. Victorious started playing and as the image of men sobbing on the floor as Anya beat them shitless in last night's brawl at the drug bust she decided it was a fitting song.
Lexa rolled her shoulders out and glanced at Anya across the room. Anya raised an eyebrow in question.
"Twenty minutes until Pizza arrives," She informed her.
"Good. I might go get some fresh air." She stretched her arms over her head, actually looking forward to the view of the city and the few stars you could see.
"You just walked home," Lexa pointed out. "Do you really need more fresh air?"
"Shut up, smartass. You know I like the view," Anya's voice was the perfect combination of dry and scolding.
Lexa just laughed. Anya smirked and flipped her off as she strode from the kitchen into the lounge. The big dark green curtains were drawn and Anya, like always, was pleased by the colour. It reminded her of happier times, when she was being raised in a small town surrounded by forest. Lexa had been raised in a town just like that to.
Anya flung the curtains back and froze as the light from the room spilled out onto the balcony. It caught on a mess of blonde hair and glinted off the metal and plastic of a heavy duty leg brace.
What the actual fuck.
Anya swore in her head and under her breath. Passed out on her balcony were two girls, one blonde and all soft curves, and the other dark haired, tan and lean. The blonde was dribbling.
She could easily tell that they were young enough to be college students. And based on the events of the night and college just letting out, they were most definitely drunk.
Anya knew they must have somehow scaled the fucking building, since she would have known if someone had broken into her apartment from the lock alone.
How the hell did they climb five stories? And with one of them in a fucking brace at that!
Anya's confusion and what the fuck moment quickly gave way to anger. She had had a long, long day quickly followed by hand cramping report writing. She just wanted pizza, music and sleep. But now there were two city rats, two vagrants on her balcony at three in the fucking morning.
Perhaps she was being harsh. Maybe she should appreciate the athletic feat they had committed. But she wasn't. She was so, so angry.
Her hand flitted to a knife before she decided the gun would scare them a bit more in this situation. Or at least be more easily recognizable when she woke them up.
"Lexa!" She called.
Hearing Anya's tone, Lexa made her way over immediately. Upon arriving she let out a quiet breath at what she was seeing. She looked at Anya's gun with a raised an eyebrow.
Anya simply said, "I'm going to scare the living shit out of these two assholes."
Lexa grabbed her arm, "Should we call the police?"
"Please," Anya scoffed, "We are going to do a much better job than any cop, and enjoy it a hell of a lot more."
Lexa nodded. She was none too pleased about the situation. Anya grabbed the handles of the doors and ripped them open, letting her anger fuel her actions. Not so much of an asshole as to attack someone in a brace, she kicked the blonde's calf hard.
"Wake up assholes!" She yelled, not caring about the neighbours. She knew they slept like the fucking dead.
How did no one see them climb the building?
"What! What?" The brunette wearily groaned, her words slurring slightly.
She could feel Lexa push past her to stand menacing over the now waking blonde and made her move towards the brunette.
"Why is it so bright?" The blonde groaned.
"Maybe because you broke into our home!" Lexa seethed in that quiet, dangerous way of hers.
She didn't have her gun out, but Anya figured she didn't need it from the petrified look on the blondes face.
She turned her attention to the brunette, who was looking at the gun in Anya's hand with wide eyes.
"I'd just like to add, you didn't break into just anyone's home. I am Federal Agent Anya Woods and this is Federal Agent Lexa Trikru." Anya's voice may as well have been a bullet since it seemed to have the same effect one would on the two girls.
They went deathly pale as the words registered, their minds suddenly sobering up.
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