AN: For anyone who isn't familiar with my tumblr or my AO3 account, every Monday I have a Smut Monday post (PWP). As this installment is more innuendo than anything else, I thought I'd share here. This one is directly inspired by user itasaku and user somebodylost-chan's "Sakura as Hokage" AU post on tumblr. Rating M to be cautious. It is quite tongue-in-cheek. winkwink.

Enjoy!

Head in her hand and massaging her temple, Sakura barely skimmed the S-ranked mission report on her desk. Kakashi had written it in haiku this time. In crayon.

All seventeen syllables of it. (Five syllables read, "bouncy bouncy bounce". Five. She counted.)

Demoting her former sensei down to a D-rank for the weekend just because she could, Sakura stamped his report with her custom made, patented "Approved, barely"-stamp and tossed it behind her in the To Be Filed pile.

Whatever. She had staff to deal with that.

There was a knock at her door. Speaking of…

She straightened her hair, checking it in the mirror she kept in her desk drawer in the split second before she summoned him.

"Enter!"

Damn, she thought as she felt Inner swoon, just a little, at the tall, impressive man who strode through.

There was something to be said about a man in uniform, Sakura decided, adopting her Official Hokage Business composure as Uchiha Itachi closed the door behind him. His black and white uniform immaculate, his hair a triumph, his demeanour one of serenity and intention.

She looked him up and down again, just to ensure he was whole.

He was very whole.

"Report?" she barked.

Folding his arms behind him in his ready stance, Itachi nodded. Then removed his porcelain ANBU mask.

...Slowly.

Tease, Inner Sakura purred, even as Hokage Sakura did her best not to give away the fact her toes were curling in her not even trying to be innocent black heels.

"Pussy inspection complete, Hokage-sama."

Sakura's knee jumped in reaction to his smooth voice, so suddenly it whacked the underside of her desk and cracked it.

She gave no other sign of reaction.

"Pussy inspection, you say?" she inquired in a bored tone.

"Yes. A thorough pussy inspection was performed upon retrieval. Our concerted attention would have made you glow with pleasure and satisfaction, I am certain, Hokage-sama."

Effing right it would have—

Shut up, Inner.

"And how was this accomplished?" she asked. She gripped the arms of her chair as casually as she could muster, preparing herself for his report.

His dark gaze met and held hers, mesmerizing her.

"With deliberate care we stroked the pussy to ensure complete trust with her. At first she was shy, holding herself back from our ardent efforts to seduce her, but she learned to enjoy and then welcome our touch. Soon she was curled in our lap, languorously splayed and boneless from our ministrations. The sweet pussy was utterly sated from our relentless attention and consumed focus." A muscle in his jaw ticked. "Hokage-sama," he tacked on, chest rising and falling faster than it had been a minute ago.

The left arm of Sakura's chair creaked in warning, and she forced her white knuckles to release it, slowly.

"It took you longer than expected to complete this pussy inspection, Captain," she remarked. She couldn't help rubbing her legs together beneath her blessed desk. The hair on the back of her neck stood at attention from his tantalizing energy. This man...

"To the contrary, we took a slow, careful approach to mount our attack. Her habits were taken into account, as well as her wants and desires. We catered to her every need. We took our time in order to ensure the adorable pussy knew she was loved and cherished, to make her enjoy our attentions and pursuits." Then like an afterthought again he added, "Hokage-sama."

Sakura nodded once. "And the condition of the pussy, when you returned?"

"There was a loud noise which startled the pussy, causing it to leap and thrash before arching its back and falling down, most unfortunately, into a puddle. The pussy was soaking wet when we finished, Hokage-sama. It was still purring up a storm as I carried it home and put it to bed amidst its silken sheets, however, and we consider the mission a success."

"Mmm-hmmm," managed Sakura, grinding her toes into the carpet after having abandoned her shoes somewhere under her desk. Words weren't working at the moment.

But Itachi is definitely work—

Shut up, Inner.

"Tanaka-san was most grateful on the return of her housecat," finished Itachi, staring hard at Sakura's flushed cheeks. "Mission very complete."

"Well done, Captain. It isn't often we have a shinobi of your calibre willing to take on such a lowly, C-ranked mission, or with such dedication or… fervour," she said, swallowing. "You're a man among men. A true leader."

"Anything to serve my esteemed Hokage-sama," he declared, his voice like melted chocolate. That Sakura wanted to lick.

Clearing her throat, she nodded to him. "Dismissed, Captain."

He gave a bow, somewhat deeper than necessary, before lifting his eyes to hers again.

"Always a pleasure," he murmured, and turned to leave.

Sakura gradually leaned forward over her desk to follow his fit backside as he closed the door behind him, until she heard a noise.

"Bouncy bouncy bounce," sing-songed Kakashi, grinning behind his mask as he landed on her windowsill.

"You ruin this for me and I swear I will bounce you back to Genin," sighed Sakura, biting her lip as Itachi's seductive silhouette passed down the corridor.

Kakashi chuckled.

TBC