Smooth Talk

The concept of language is quite interesting. Developed in order to communicate with others, we use language or see it being used everyday. Whether it's a simple "I'm home," or a long post on the internet tearing apart Zaimokuza's latest attempt at a light novel, language conveys our feelings to others.

Rather, it attempts to. Words cannot convey exactly what we are thinking or feeling. One of the limitations of language is that there are only so many words and phrases. Not every feeling or thought can be expressed because of this obvious limitation. And although language continued to evolve to try to overcome this problem, there is little possibility of it reaching that point.

Moreover, the knowledge of the person speaking or writing limits their respective use of language. A five-year-old would (in most cases) be worse at conveying their feelings than a grown adult. And even between adults, the level of education greatly affects the use of language. Or in the case of Zaimokuza, his use of obscure kanji make it so that no one can understand his writings.

Another limit is the connotations that society imposes on certain words. Synonyms, while having very similar meanings, are often associated with very different things. "Combat" seems very official, like military combat or combatting a disease. On the other hand, "fight" seems more personal, like two brothers fighting.

However, the biggest limitation on our use of language is human imperfection. Accidentally using the wrong word or misunderstanding what someone means could be fatal to the conversation and, potentially, the relationship. Saying things we don't mean, or mishearing something can also prevent us from achieving perfect communication.

Even more to this point, people can use language to lie. Lying greatly affects relationships and knowledge. If we can't tell someone is lying, then we will believe what that person is saying as truth. If we know someone is lying, that thought lies in the back of our heads, making us doubt everything that person says.

Language doesn't instantly transmit feelings. Language doesn't always convey facts. Language can be misused. Language greatly differs from person to person. Yet we still use it. We rely on it heavily to communicate with each other.

While imperfect in many ways, language remains and continues to grow. And everyday, people misuse it in one way or another. Sadly, there's only one way to avoid misunderstandings and lies conveyed through language, though I cannot condone it.

Never communicate with anyone at all.

The heater in the clubroom was rumbling, sparing us from the cold of winter. The tea on the table also gave off warmth as I took breaks from my light novel to sip it. But despite all of this, there was one source of cold that was still activated in this warm room, and she was sitting across from me.

"Hikigaya-kun."

"Hm?" I looked over at Yukinoshita, who had brought out the laptop Hiratsuka-sensei gave us to answer requests. She was currently wearing the glasses I gave her for her birthday, which made my heart skip a beat.

"We have a request. Could you get your eyes out of that trashy book for once?" Now normally, I would let that comment slide. However, I happened to like this light novel. No one insults Claire Rouge [1] on my watch! So with the idea that I should retort her, I spoke without much thinking.

"Sorry, it keeps me from falling in love with the two pretty girls across from me." Even though I was across the table from the two girls, I could see their faces turn red instantly. Huh? What did I just say? After realizing, even I blushed.

"H-Hikki?!" Yuigahama looked at me curiously while still flustered. And in an attempt to amend what I had just done, I proceeded to say, "I'm sorry."

But that apology never came. Instead...

"I'm just saying what's been on my mind this entire time. You two really are pretty." Ah... I did it again. I should act like Tsugumi [2] and pound my head on the wall for saying that.

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama looked stunned. Unable to take the awkwardness in the room, I decided to come up with an excuse to leave the room. Ah, maybe I just need to drink MAX Coffee to stop doing this! I stood up and informed them of where I was going.

"I'm gonna get drinks. You guys want anything? Other than me?" Well, that went horribly. I had never seen Yuigahama and Yukinoshita more red in my entire time with them. Moreover, they both looked like they were about to faint. I'd probably faint out of disgust, too, if someone like me complimented me.

"Nothing? Well, you'll just have to settle for me, then." Okay, I really can't talk at all or else everything will come out like that. I saw Yukinoshita tremble a little before she looked at me. Hopefully, she won't ask me something that I have to respond to. If so, I might blurt out something embarrassing again.

"H-Hikigaya-kun... Please leave." I walked out without saying a word, following Yukinoshita's order.

The hallway was pretty empty, as usual after a certain time, but there were still some people hanging out at school. Many of them were chatting without a care in the world. However, with my ability to say what I mean impaired, I couldn't do the same. Naturally, I avoided all contact with the normals, but today I took extra care not to bump into anyone I knew. Ah, if I run into Totsuka I might confess to him on the spot! Wait, that might not be too bad...

Usually, most of the people who knew me would not be here still. Well, with the exception of Zaimokuza. I imagine that Hayama, Ebina, Miura and Kawasomething each have something planned for the day. If I run into Zaimokuza it should be fine… Especially since I usually ignore him anyway.

As I was thinking of that, I turned the corner and saw Ebina and Miura near the girl's bathroom. Huh, why were they still here this late? I immediately backtracked a little, then looked around the corner to see that they disappeared. Thinking that it was safe, I moved forward. As soon as I passed the corner, I heard someone call out to me.

"Hey, Hikio!" That's not my name... I realized I had made a grave mistake. Hopefully it was just going to be us waving at each other in passing... I turned to see Miura walking quickly towards me. I gulped at the sight.

"What did you do to Yui?" I couldn't defend myself from that question. After all, there was nothing I could say to justify what I did. "She was acting weird over the phone and said it was your fault. What happened?" Panicking, I quickly opened my mouth to speak.

"Hayama is an idiot for not falling for a babe like you." Miura walked up closer to me and grabbed me by the collar. Oi, you're stronger than you look. My scouter didn't show that you had such a high power level! [4]

"What did you say about Hayato?" Please don't make me speak. We're both going to regret it if you do. "Well?"

"Being this close to you made me realize just how beautiful you are." Ah… there it goes again. I really don't have any control over this, you know. As I was thinking that, Miura's face flushed.

"W-what?!"

"Most guys would love to be in this position with you." The Fire Queen only got redder, living up to her nickname. Because of the close distance between us, I could almost feel heat emanating from her. Looking at Miura like this… she was definitely pretty. Thinking of that made my heart race. I had to get out of this situation somehow… "Well, are you gonna keep holding me like this? Or do you want me to make the first move?"

… Why did it have to come out like that?

"H-huh? Oh…" Miura let go of me and walked away quickly. Well, I was glad that it worked and she let me go. Unfortunately, I was headed the same direction she stormed off in. I watched her turn a corner. Okay, it's safe to move forward now. As I neared the corner she turned into, I started to hear heavy breathing, as if someone had just stopped running and was exhausted. I looked around the corner to find Miura leaning on the wall with her hand to her chest. Luckily she was facing downwards and in the opposite direction, so she didn't see me.

"W-what was that about… Was Hikio always..." She trailed off and continued to breathe heavily. I had never seen Miura act like that before. Oh, I get it… Forgive me for making you sick, Miura. I wish it was in my power to stop saying these things, but I really am unable to keep my mouth shut. As I walked further down the corridor, I watched her stand up straight and walk away from where I was walking. Well, luckily that ordeal was over. I continued walking forward, only to be stopped by someone else calling my name… Well, something close enough to my name.

"Hikitani-kun!" I turned to see Ebina walking towards me and waving.

As Ebina neared me, I tried to think of a way to escape. However, after further thinking, I realized it would be awkward to run away now, as we had already made eye contact. Wait, wouldn't it be more awkward for her to hear whatever I might say? I can't run down the nearest corridor because I don't think seeing Miura again would be pleasant for anyone… As I was panicking, Ebina had reached where I was.

"Hey, Hikitani-kun. Have you seen Yumiko-chan? I was just with her, but now I don't know where she is." Ah, crap. It's a question I have to answer. I'll just point to direct her. "Huh? I don't get what you're pointing at. Do you know where she is?"

Ebina got closer to me as she asked that. And folding under the pressure to answer, I opened my mouth to speak.

"You know I only have eyes for you." This really has to stop soon. Otherwise I might have to isolate myself from everyone! I'll become a NEET and live off Komachi's cooking! Wait, that second part didn't sound so bad…

"Fuhuhu… You should really save saying those things to Hayato, right?" It's a good thing Ebina is rotten. That would have been embarrassing for me if it was anyone else. Thanks for being a fujoshi [3], Ebina! Suddenly, I had the impulse to speak to her.

"You're the one I want to say that to, you know."

"Ahaha. Say more lines that you would use on Hayato! Because you definitely wouldn't be using them on a rotten girl like me."

"You're not rotten. In fact, you're perfect." Hearing that, Ebina's nose exploded, reminiscent of a certain ninja pervert [5]. Wow, this girl really is rotten. I walked her to the nurse's office, which was nearby.

We entered, but as per usual (well, in anime at least), the nurse was not there. I guess it's slightly better than having Caren here... I helped her into one of the beds and grabbed tissues from the nurse's desk. I gave them to Ebina, and she cleaned up her nose. I opened my mouth to ask if she needed any more help, but…

"I'm willing to stay with you. Forever, in fact." Hearing that, Ebina's nose erupted once more. I hurried back to the nurse's desk and grabbed the whole box of tissues. I gave them to Ebina.

"Thanks... Stop talking like that. If you keep saying those things… I might really-" Feeling the sudden impulse to speak once more, I opened my mouth again.

"Shh, you need your beauty sleep. Although, you're already plenty beautiful." Ebina's nose became a fountain of blood, and she fainted. Well, I guess what she was going to say was, "Might really pass out," because that's what ended up happening. I left the sleeping Ebina in the nurse's office, making a mental note to check on her after I get my MAX Coffee.

After dealing with all of that, I finally had the chance to get the MAX Coffee I had been craving. Wait, wasn't it just an excuse to leave the clubroom? Well, I am craving it now I suppose. Hmm… did I make up an excuse and end up believing in it? That's a pretty good example of the power of words. Maybe I have the power of Bettenou [6]? Wait, that may end up bad considering what I had said today…

However, what worried me was my inability stop myself from speaking. I hope everyone realizes that this is all just a misunderstanding… Though, I may not get the chance to explain to them. I might die of embarrassment if it happens again!

I peeked into the nurse's office to see if Ebina was okay. She was still passed out on the bed. I'll just tell Yuigahama to tell Miura about her... That is, if I can get my words out correctly.

I took another sip of the MAX Coffee before turning around to see a silver ponytail swaying as Kawasomething walked pass. I turned back around in order to hide from her. It's a good thing Stealth Mode is one of my 108-

"You… What are you doing?"

Hey everyone. Reviews are, as always, appreciated!

So, I was inspired to make this after reading a guest review on one of my other fics (I forget which one. Probably the Vday one). I think the request was that 8man had to say what was on his mind. Anyway, I took that and twisted it. So thanks for that!

Okay, I'm not much of a smooth talker... But I tried to make up some lines that sound kinda flirty...

Oh, for people on tumblr, I started a tumblr blog. The blog name is bcheddar13. Oh, and if you want, you can send me requests. The quarter is almost over and I'm super bored and have a lot of time on my hands (not really but I like procrastinating).

Alright, thanks all!

Bchets

[1]: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

[2]: Seishirou Tsugumi from Nisekoi

[3]: Girl into BL. Translates literally as "rotten girl".

[4]: Dragonball Z (A/N: Insert over 9000 joke here)

[5]: Kouta Tsuchiya from Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu. He gets nosebleeds. A lot. (A/N: They call him Muttsuriini in the show.)

[6]: Un-go. Bettenou has the power to make what she says come true (sort of). (A/N: Slight spoiler? Idk.)