***Not A Chapter***

Author's Note: Because I have been so praised that this fic is truly quality crack, I wanted to show you how truly cracky it was BEFORE. This is the outline. Some things are directly in it, some are not. but it's ridiculous and this is how I write outlines soooooo

Ham: lizardsa blah blah blah

Hercules: nah man

Burr: Alex the fuC

HAM: ITS TRUe guys

Laurens: Prove it

HAM: I WILL

HAM: Liza sorry bae ill be back before the cake I just need to defend my honor to these asses

Eliza: Alex this is our wedding

Ham: I know that's why I need to be right its my-OUR night okay hun thanks TO THE LIBRARY

*at library*

Ham: MISS I REQUIRE YOUR FINEST LITERATURE ON RATTLESNAKES

Lady locking door: were closing

Ham: It WILL BE ONLY A MOMENT

Lady: *looks at camera like on the office* okay but if youre not done in five minute I'm leaving

*everyone is running down the nonfiction isles, looking for lizard books, Mulligan finds the very hungry caterpillar, Laurens finds Yertle the Turtle*

LAf: Ham just use the computer

Ham: you INSulT MY INTELLECT I USE BOOKS THANKS

*finally finds a goddamn book about rattlesnakes pls and thank god*

Ham: IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE IM RIGHT *smacks book closed* Bam how do you like that BURR

Burr: I don'yt even like snakes idk who started this with you but alex I do not give a fuck go home to your wife yiure DrunKKK

Mulligan: youre right bro lets go

Ham: *wants to fight more*

Laurens: man lets just go back and have that threeway you told me about

Ham: oh yeah k

Them: *are locked in*

Laf: merde

Ham: *loudly whispers to burr* he said SHIIIIIIIIT. In Freeeeeench. Cuz hes the frenchiest fry

Burr: alex staph were locked into the fucking library

Alex: but we have so many books we must reaD THEM ALL

Burr: *sigh* someone call angelica she handles shit

Laurens and Mulligan: *look down on him from their attempt to use laf as a battering ram* oh right good idea

-MEANWHILE AT THE WEDDING-

An: do you know where your husband and his hooligans are

Eliza: he took them to the library to win a fight about lizards

An: ? he had? A phgone? The internet?

Eliza: ikr

An: honey your'e the one who married him

Eliza: ….

-RETURN TO THE LIBRARY-

Angelica: *picks lock easily* WHO WANTS TO TELL ME WHY BURR HAD TO CALL ME TO BAIL YOU OUT OF A PUBLIC LIBRARY ON MY SISTERS WEDDING NIGHT? I HAD TO TALK TO BURR. BURR.

Laurens: IT WAS HAMS FAULT

Ham: *GASP* LAURENS. I LOVED YOU. AND YOU BETRAY ME? *passes out*

Angelica: oh my god. Someone get him in the car. You all get in the car. –not you burr no one likes you burr. Find youre own ride home. Im not your bitch.

{Le End}