Hey everyone.

Like so many of you, I too am a big fan of The Flash. I've been wanting to write a fanfic about it for quite some time, but never really had time or inspiration for such a story. Now however I've come up with something and I've recently finished my last true 'open' story. My story will, as the title indicates, describe how our earth one Caitlin Snow will become Killer Frost and it is from her perspective, that this story will be written. Before you proceed reading my first chapter below I feel the obligation to warn those of you that haven't seen up until the fifteenth episode of the second season. If you have, no worries, but if you haven't, please heed my warning when I say that spoilers are imminent if you continue to read on. That is all. I hope you enjoy my fanfic!

Kind Regards,

J. Caesar

1. The trigger

My eyes were glued to the speed canon. Previously it had been housing the last shimmering portal to earth two, the last connection with a distant realm, a whole other world. Now, there was nothing. The scientific treasure it had continued had vanished into thin air as the cork matter had sealed it permanently. Yet along with this other reality something equally valuable had perished. A person's life. But not just any person. A friend. My friend. The first person I had felt a real connection to since I had lost Ronnie. The one that had given me realistic hope of a new beginning, a second chance to have a normal life.

A strange tingling feeling got hold of me. A cold, stretching out to all corners of my body. As if my heart had stopped beating, my blood had stopped running. For an instant I thought I was going to have a heart attack, although this wasn't the case. The sensation I experienced was purely emotional, not physical. I couldn't say how I knew it, only why. Jay.

It all had to be a bad dream. It had to. After losing Ronnie, I couldn't lose Jay as well... No! He was a speedster, just like Barry, wasn't he? There was no chance that he was surprised by that attack. No, he made it out. He's not dead.

"He's not dead." I stammered. "He's not dead."

My chest tremored as I drew breathe irregularly.

"Caitlin..." Barry said in a compassionate tone.

I didn't want to hear it, I wanted to hear that Jay was alright.

"He's not dead. He's not!" I said louder.

The more I said it, the better it sunk in that I was in denial. But I didn't want to believe that he was gone forever. I didn't want to lose another good friend. How could I survive it?

It had been hard enough for me that I had to let go of Ronnie when he became firestorm and his death thereafter had been an even bigger blow. But just when I had begun to move on, to start over, to love again, it gets ripped away from me. Literally. How can this happen twice in one lifetime? The odds were tiny, astronomical!

"This isn't happening, this isn't happening again!" I wailed in disbelief.

"Hey! Hey, I got you." Cisco said, putting his arm around me.

Still shivering from the shock, I let him guide me upstairs. My pitiable state made the rest afraid to look at me when we passed them by. Why? Had they not seen loss before? It irritated me a little, causing an itching in my fingertips.

Upstairs, Cisco kept trying to comfort me. He said things were going to be alright. That Jay had escaped Zoom before and that he might have done so again without us knowing it. I may have thought that myself before, though I knew better than that. And so did he by the way.

Of course, he only tried to make me feel better, which was sweet of him, but I didn't want to be fed with fairytales right now. The only reason he continued was because he couldn't see the disapproving look on my face through all the tears.

"Cisco, please. We both know that he's..."

My throat sucked together. I couldn't say it out loud. Cisco looked at me. He seemed to realize that I wasn't a child anymore. I noticed in his eyes that he was trying to think of something else to say, yet didn't know what.

"C'mon." He said eventually. "Let's get you home."

"What?!" I sparked.

Cisco got so spooked by my reply that he made a little jump backwards.

"Why?" I said, calmer this time.

He gazed at me with suspicion before answering.

"I think it's best if you take some rest."

"I don't need rest."

"You sure 'bout that?"

"Yes!" I snapped, once again feeling my fingers titillate.

Like before, my answer sent him a few steps back. His pupils investigated me from head to toe. What an exaggerated reaction, I didn't talk that loud.

"Okay, then at least lie down." He bargained.

I sat down on the bed to obey his request, if only to terminate this useless discussion. He picked up the nearest glass

"Wait I'll get you something to drink first." and he walked away.

Alone in the room, Jay's image popped back into my mind. The last look on his face when Zoom's claw pierced his chest will likely haunt me forever. Tears sprang into my eyes. It was so unfair! First Ronnie, now Jay. What did I do to deserve this!

Unknowingly I had clenched my fists. I relaxed them and stared at them. For some reason they tingled like crazy as they had been doing repeatedly for the past twenty minutes. Was this due to my anger? Or did my grief made it happen? I had never endured it when I had lost the first time Ronnie, nor the second which had been even tougher. It had to be the cause though. I had no history of blood circulation issues, nor did I take any kind of medication that might produce such side-effects. I fluttered with my hands, but it didn't change anything. Could my sorrow really lead to such intense physical effect? I've known that stress could cause arrhythmia, so the idea of intense sorrow (which felt like a real understatement) interfering with my blood flow was not so farfetched.

Perhaps I was just cold. Hands can also become prickly if you've have been out on a winter's day without mittens and enter a warm room afterwards. I pressed the palms of my hands against my face. I was shocked by their low temperature. They were much colder than I had anticipated. On the other hand, it confirmed what I had just suggested.

I heard Cisco return and I quickly acted as if nothing was going on. The jitters would surely pass and he didn't have to worry more than he already did.

"Here you go." He said, handing me the glass.

I wasn't thirsty, yet to avoid another discussion about my wellbeing I took a few sips and lay down. He was about to ask something when beat him to it and asked him for a blanket.

"Yea, sure. Just a sec." And he rushed himself off again.

My hands had stopped acting weird, but they still felt cold. Strange, maybe it wasn't the cold after all. I yawned. It made me realize that I was more tired than I thought I was. I guess it had been an exhausting day. I closed my eyes and heard myself breathe fairly constant, not choppy anymore, which had been the case half an hour ago.

I felt a warm stroke on my side. It was Cisco putting the blanket over my side. I mumbled a thank you and turned over. I heard him sit down behind me. After that, it didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

That's it for now. I hope you liked it!