I truly apologize for the delay in updating. I lost some motivation for a while, and since life was pretty busy I just didn't put a priority on writing. But I am back! Summer is here, and I have lots of spare time and feel pretty motivated. I plan to finish up this story and I have plans for another. Thank you to all who have stuck by me and are still interested in this fic.

Erin padded around Jay's apartment. Getting his meds set up next to the sink. Laying the doctor's instructions on the kitchen table.

She opened the fridge and let out a sound of disgust, "Ughh! We are going to have to clean this out. Everything is rotten."

Jay silently laughed. He held up two fingers and mouthed the words, "Two weeks." Erin grabbed a large trash bag from under the sink. She dumped a bunch of take-out containers that she didn't even want to bother opening, straight into the black plastic bag. She wrinkled her nose as she poured out some milk into the sink and threw the container away. Jay held the bag open while she dumped in old vegetables and rotten fruit.

By the time they were finished, the bag was bulging. Jay bent to pick it up, but Erin slapped his hands away. "You are not to do any heavy lifting."

Jay rolled his eyes, and threw up his arms. He gave her look that clearly stated he could handle carrying a garbage bag.

"It's heavy." Erin stated. "The doctor said no heavy lifting until he cleared you."

Erin picked up the bag and headed towards the door. She glanced out the window as she did, and she noted the sun had fallen and it was dark out. Her stride faltered a bit. Her hand on the door. "On second thought, let's go grab some fresh groceries, too."

Jay had just plopped himself down on the couch. Despite his assertion that he was doing fine and could handle things on his own, the exertion from checking out of the hospital, getting back to his apartment, and cleaning out the fridge had exhausted him. He looked up at Erin with an uninterested look on his face. He was surprised to see her gaze fixated on the dark window outside his living room. She had an odd look on her face. If Jay didn't know her better, he'd say she looked scared. Jay was confused. What could Erin be scared about? A thought creeped at the back of his mind. Not wanting to cause her any more stress, he pushed himself off the couch and grabbed his keys.

After dumping the trash bag full of food, they made their way to corner market. Jay had always felt lucky he had a decent market only a block and a half from his apartment. Since he wasn't too much of a cook, he was usually able to just grab a six pack of beer, some snacks, and a few basics. It was a warm evening, and Jay didn't mind the walk on a nice night like tonight. Especially after Erin looped her arm in his and snuggled up close to him. They strolled at a fairly slow pace as a concession to Jay's injuries. Jay noted that while Erin presented herself as intimately and casually walking with him, he could sense a tenseness to her shoulders. She kept looking around as they walked. Jay knew that Erin was definitely feeling uneasy. Truthfully, he didn't blame her. Whether or not she remembered it, Erin had been through a traumatizing experience. Jay suspected she must be experiencing some post-traumatic stress. Erin had mentioned that she stopped by Dr. Charles's office earlier that morning. Jay hoped she had opened up with the doctor. Jay hoped she would open up with him, too. He wanted to be there to support her.

Jay cursed his stupid injury. He hated that he couldn't just talk to her about what he was thinking. One more week of silence. He knew he had his voice back, but the doctor insisted that if he started talking too early, he could rupture his stitches or damage the healing wound on his trachea. As they strolled the aisles of the market, he also dreaded another week of a liquid diet. He could include a few soft foods, but mainly he was still on liquid meals. Erin was throwing in the handbasket a bunch of fruits and veggies that Jay knew she was going to puree into smoothies. Jay wandered down the ice cream section and grabbed a pint. By the time he found Erin again, she had added some pasta, oatmeal, milk, rice, and a few other soft foods. Jay was actually impressed with her choices. She had thought of several soft items that he hadn't imagined. They paid for their purchases and made their way back to Jay's apartment. In the market, Erin had been chatty and upbeat, but once they were outside again, she tensed up all over again. Jay tried to hide his worry from her, but he could see her give him furtive looks every few minutes as if she was gauging whether or not he had noticed her unease.

Once they had returned to the apartment and put the food away, Jay decided he wanted to see if she would open up to him. He grabbed the tablet and stylus he'd been using all week and scribbled out a message. Are you remembering the kidnapping? He held it up to her.

Erin was startled by the question for a moment, and Jay could see alarm cross her face for a brief second. Then she forced a cheerful smile onto her face. "I'm fine." She grabbed his arm and led him over to the couch and gently pushed him down. She stood above him the false smile still on her face. "You need to rest. Do you want a blanket?"

Jay narrowed his eyes at her. Typical Erin, avoiding the question and hiding how she was really feeling. Not wanting to let her off the hook, he held up the message again. Are you remembering the kidnapping?

Erin looked at Jay's face. His eyes were looking at her with both frustration, sadness, and caring. Erin let out a shaky breath. She sank slowly down onto the couch next to Jay. She thought back to her conversation earlier that morning with Dr. Charles.

She had knocked on the doctor's door early that morning. Jay had been expected to be released at some point that day, but Erin had known it would probably be hours before the doctors actually signed everything off. It hadn't stopped her from arriving at the crack of dawn. But instead of making her way to his room, something had pulled her to the psychiatrist's door.

"Erin!" He exclaimed in surprise. "I didn't expect to see you this morning." He opened his door and gestured for her to come in.

Erin looked around the room uncomfortably, noting a coffee cup with steam still coming from the top. Erin assumed he must have just arrived at his office. "Sorry, to drop by unannounced. Jay's getting out today, and I just…I don't know. I was just thinking about some stuff. Thought maybe I'd stop by."

Dr. Charles took a seat at his desk, and Erin gingerly sat down at one of the chairs opposite him. Her hands in her lap, twisting with nerves.

Dr. Charles began, "I heard about what you two went through." Erin's eyes flew up to meet his in surprise. "Doctors, nurses, there's a lot of gossip around here. Especially when it is the brother of one of our own." Erin nodded understandingly. He continued, his voice softening, "I'm happy to see you both came out of this tragedy. It seems like it was probably a harrowing experience. "

Erin swallowed dryly. "Yeah. It was…close." She let her eyes drift around the room. She had come to maybe talk about what was on her mind, but she was having a hard time deciding where to start. "Did people say- did you hear about-" She let out a quick breath. "Did you hear about the suitcase?"

Dr. Charles tilted his head questioningly, "No. What suitcase?"

Erin felt the small office seem to get smaller as her mind tried to piece together what she remembered and what she had been told. She honestly didn't remember much. She wondered at this point if she ever would. "I was drugged and stuffed in a suitcase." She stated plainly.

She saw the surprise cross the doctor's face. "Oh. No, I didn't hear that."

She acknowledged his shock with a shrug of her shoulders and a quick nod. "Yeah."

Erin glanced down at her hands that lay tightly clenched in her lap. She allowed the doctor a minute to process what she had told him. It was hard to believe. She still didn't believe it, despite having watched the video and having talked with Mouse and Voight.

"How are you dealing with this, Erin?"

Erin pursed her lips in annoyance. "I'm not. I don't actually even remember any of it. I was in the restroom, checking to see if anyone was showing an interest in me, when I was…attacked." She wasn't quite sure how to phrase it. "I briefly remember a struggle, and then the next thing I knew I was waking up in the hospital and Jay had been shot." She threw up her hands in frustration.

"Okay," said Charles, there was an expectant sound to his voice, like he expected her to continue to talk.

She continued, "And there is nothing to really deal with. Since I don't remember anything."

Dr. Charles looked at her thoughtfully, "I think that you went through a traumatic experience and just because you don't remember certain details, doesn't mean that those events can't effect you."

Erin looked at him wide eyed and let the silence stretch out between them for a minute. "I know," she stated quietly. She took a steadying breath. "That's why I'm here."

Dr. Charles and Erin had talked for about twenty minutes. He had given her the number of a therapist he recommended that had worked with a lot of trauma victims. Erin wasn't quite sure how she felt about talking with someone new. It had been hard enough this last month to talk with Dr. Charles, let alone opening up to someone else. Dr. Charles had said that she was welcome to continue meeting with him, but he just felt that someone else might be able to help her.

He had also recommended that she share what was on her mind with Jay. Erin had agreed with Dr. Charles when she sat in the office, but now that she was here with Jay staring at her expectantly, she felt nervous. His eyes pleaded with her to tell him what was going on in her mind. Erin reached out and grabbed Jay's free hand in hers. His hand was warm and gripped her own with his strong fingers. It was such a relief to feel that strength after the last two weeks. So many moments when she wondered if he would live or die. So many hours where she had grasped his lifeless hand waiting and hoping for him to wake up. All she had wanted was to see his blue eyes and hold his hand. Now he sat there with those eyes, the warmth and concern bleeding into her.

She reached out and caressed his cheek. Her fingertips dancing along his jawline. "I like your beard. You look scruffy." He hadn't shave while in the hospital. Probably wouldn't for a few more weeks. He still had bandages in his neck area. Erin didn't mind though. She thought he looked handsome when he was clean shaven, but he looked sexy with a beard.

Jay brushed her hands gently away from his face and gave Erin a knowing look. Erin knew he thought she was trying to change the subject and avoid answering the question he had posed to her.

Erin tucked her feet up under body and leaned sideways on the couch, studying Jay solemnly. "I can't decide if it is easier to talk to you when you can't talk back or if it's actually harder."

Jay just smiled at her and shook his head slightly.

Erin took in a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to steady herself. "I am scared, Jay." She saw his brow furrow in concern. He shifted himself to be a little closer to Erin. "I just feel unsafe all the time. Every stairwell, doorway, or alley I pass makes me panic. I'm afraid to be alone." Erin dropped her head in embarrassment. She was a Chicago Police Detective. She had tracked serial killers, arrested drug kingpins, and dealt with murderers and gang members on a weekly basis. She shouldn't be afraid of things that go bump in the night. She shouldn't be seeing menacing shadows in every dark corner. She should be afraid to take out the trash, but she was…

Jay reached across the space between them and cupped her chin in his hand, gently lifting it up so she was forced to meet his eyes. Erin was surprised to see a smile on his face. Jay leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers softly.

Erin savored the brief touch and felt the loss when he pulled away. "What was that for?" She asked.

Jay gave her an annoyed look, silently reminding her that he couldn't talk. He grabbed the tablet and stylus and started writing. Erin tried to read over his shoulder, but he elbowed her out of the way. Erin leaned back in a playful huff while Jay wrote…and wrote. "What are you writing a novel?" She craned her neck one more time to try and see what he was writing. Jay just tilted the tablet away, so she couldn't see it.

"Whatever," she said, although she was smiling. She shook her head a bit. This is why she loved Jay. Two seconds ago, she was ashamed, sacred, and embarrassed, but then Jay has this effect on her. To make her feel happy and safe. She tapped her foot impatiently. "Seriously… are you almost done-"

Suddenly, Jay moved his arm, and dropped the tablet into her lap. He had a satisfied look on his face, but she could also see a bit of apprehension on his face. As if he didn't know how she was going to react to what he had written.

You are the most courageous and brave woman person I have ever known. You have already overcome so much in life to become the amazing and loving person that you are. This is merely one more obstacle that I am confident you will overcome. I will stand behind you or beside you, or even wait in the car if you want me, too, as you work on moving past the fear. Just know, you shouldn't be afraid. You are kickass, and you know it. It means everything to me that, you opened up and shared this with me. I love you.

Tears swan in Erin's eyes as she read the words. Dropping the tablet to the floor, she scooted across the couch to wrap herself around Jay, careful to not jostle him too much and to avoid the arm that was in the sling. He wrapped his good arm around her and squeezed tightly. A few tears dampened his shirt as she lay there, sniffing quietly. He stroked her hair softly, trying to soothe her.

Lifting her head, she met his anxious look. "I'm not crying because of sadness or fear. I am crying because I love you. You are so good to me, and I just….I just need you in my life." Jay just nods, as if to agree. Erin continued, "That's what has always scared me when I am with you." Erin lays her head on his chest and just relishes in hearing his steady heartbeat under her cheek. "I think before, I was afraid that needing you so much made me weak. That not being able to get through things on my own, without you, made me somehow less. I didn't want you to be with someone who wasn't strong."

Jay tilted her head up at that and gave her a less than impressed look.

Erin smiled up at him, "I know, I know. I wasn't thinking very rationally at that point. I just felt like I was making you sad. That I wasn't what you signed up for in a girlfriend. My baggage weighs a ton." Jay smirked at her and held up his good arm to make a muscle. Letting her know he was strong. Erin chuckled and dropped her head back onto his chest. "You are such a dork." She could feel his chest rumble with laughter that he held in.

"I think with you it doesn't have to be that way though." She stroked her hand up and down his arm. "It's not weakness to be vulnerable with you. When I let you in, I don't feel weak, I feel stronger. Like it's the two of us against the world and we kick ass." She could feel him nod his head in agreement.

Suddenly, Jay shifted Erin unceremoniously aside and stood up from the couch. With just a quick kiss on her forehead, he disappeared into his bedroom. Erin sat on the couch slightly confused at his abrupt exit. She was just about to follow him to investigate when he returned. Erin sucked in a breath when she saw the black jeweler's box in his hand. Erin recognized the box immediately. It was the velvet box that he had kept hidden in his sock drawer since Valentine's Day. Erin hadn't thought about it in months. Jay sat down next to Erin and flipped it open to show it to Erin. Her eyes widened in appreciation at the sparkling diamond bracelet that lay on the black velvet. It was a vintage style that had always appealed to Erin in jewelry. Not that she usually wore much, but she appreciated it. Jay's eyes were fixed on Erin's as she appreciated the beauty of it.

Suddenly impatient after waiting months for him to get it, she looked up at him. "Well, are you going to put it on me or are you just showing it to me?"

Jay dropped his mouth open in mock shock, and snapped the box shut with a loud crack. Unable to keep up the charade for more than a moment, Jay awkwardly opened the box again with one hand. He slipped the bracelet out of the box and then dangled it over her wrist uncertainly. He had realized that with only one hand available, he would not be able place it on her wrist. His brow furrowed in frustration. Erin reached out to grab the other side of the bracelet clasp with her hand. She looked up into his eyes, "Together. We can do it together." Erin wrapped the thin bracelet around her own wrist and held it in place while Jay carefully joined the ends together. She then lifted it up to allow the diamonds to sparkle in the light. "It's beautiful." She whispered in awe. She'd never had a guy buy her a piece of jewelry before. It kind made her happy that Jay would be the first…maybe the only one to ever buy her jewelry. Erin let out a little laugh at where her mind had wandered to. She loved him and wanted to be with him, but she still wasn't quite ready for that step. But still… it was a nice thought.

Erin wrapped her arm around Jay's neck and pulled him close, kissing him firmly on the mouth. He immediately responded, moving his lips against hers. Erin sighed with pleasure against his mouth. She leaned further into him, pressing her body against his. Unwillingly, Jay let out a low grunt, as Erin had brushed up against his wound.

Erin instantly sprung back, eyes wide. "None of that, Mister! Doctor said no physical activity for at least two weeks."

Jay's mouth dropped open in surprise and he threw his hand up indignantly, indicating that she was the one who had started it. Erin's eyes crinkled with laughter. Jay's heart swelled seeing that joy there. So many times she looked like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Hearing her laughter, seeing her smile. Nothing made him happier.

"I love you," Jay said.

Erin's eyes widened in alarm. "No talking. Doctor's orders." Jay nodded, but leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers again. He leaned back and pulled Erin along with him, until they were laying comfortably together on the couch, Erin careful not put any pressure on his healing wounds. They lay there in quiet, with the silence surrounding them. Erin allowed herself to drift into sleep, content in this moment, with the world.

This isn't the total end. I have an epilogue planned to wrap up a few plot points, but I hope you feel that there has been somewhat a resolution of the story. If there is anything specific that you feel it is lacking, or that that I left hanging, let me know. While they still have some things to work on, I tried to show that they are happy and in love.