A/N: Another Shinoto one-shot! It's really just a lot of fluff mixed in with angst fueled by my life. Of course, it's not on as an extreme level, but still. Anyway, it's also in 1st person cuz I've decided to try and branch off from 3rd. And it just fit this story better. I hope it is to your liking, and thanks to my beta, Warrior-san. He's awesome!
Disclaimer: I do not own SAO
~Shattered~
The sound of a car engine rumbling, tires running over the asphalt, came and faded away as I stood on the street corner, my eyes barely acknowledging the car itself as it passed me on the road. In fact, I barely paid attention to anything as I stood there, my eyes intent upon nothing on the other side of the street. Sounds came to me in muted sharpness—I could hear them, but I wasn't really listening. I existed in silence, in my own little world, separated from my surroundings by a pane of clear, pristine glass.
Through the droning of the world, I could hear people walking, people talking and laughing as they existed around me. I only remained impassive, neutral, and altogether nonexistent as I took my consciousness within my mind and waited…
"Hey, it's her."
"Why is she just standing there? I thought she walked home."
"What are you doing?! Don't stare at her, she might see you!"
"Let's leave before she pulls a gun or something."
The whispers continued, some sporadic and some in bunches before their speakers disappeared. Even then, their words just triggered my memories, making it hard to tell which ones were real and which were just conjured up by my mind. The meanings and tones behind them made something clench in my chest.
My world grew darker. The air grew thicker. My body trembled. I couldn't breathe—
And then that all went away in an instant. I forced a breath down my throat, inhaling deeply and slowly before letting it out in the same pace. My mind went blank, and I was once again drawn within myself. I was different, and they knew it. I knew it. My soul was tainted and there was no way I could ever truly enter into their world and fit in like I belonged, not when I lead such a horrible existence.
It was just easier this way.
"Shi-no A-sa-da."
With a blink, I found myself drawn out of my inner sanctum. Finally recognizing what was in front of me, I blinked another few times in surprise.
"Kazuto…"
The boy put his hand down, the one he had apparently been waving in front of my face, and raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Hey. You ok? I've been trying to get your attention for the past ten years."
My lips twitched up at the corner. "I'm fine. Just lost in my own thoughts."
Kazuto looked at me for a moment, as if thinking over my words before he spoke again. "Ok. Well, are you ready to go?"
I nodded, stepping with him to the curb where his motorcycle idled in wait. He handed me his spare helmet and I put it on, clipping it tight under my chin and waiting for him to get on first before following suit. I hefted my bag on my shoulder, securing it between my arm and my side before leaning forward and wrapping my arms around him.
The bike took off and I let out a sigh, my eyes closing and my cheek pressing against Kazuto's back. If there was anything I could say that I loved, it was this. Riding on the back of Kazuto's motorcycle truly was a taste of pure freedom. I would say that it was on par with how I felt diving into GGO. The wind rushing against my skin, the hum and roar of the engine, the open road… It just made any and all possibilities seem endless.
We rode only for about ten minutes, but to me, it felt even shorter. I was disappointed when the bike finally came to a stop and I heard Kazuto take the key out of the ignition. I just didn't want to move. I wanted to stay like that, forever, but, I got off anyway, not wanting to make things weird. I took off my helmet and handed it to Kazuto. I felt the breeze card through my hair and I looked around, taking time to appreciate what a beautiful day it was.
"So, is everyone already there?"
"They should be," Kazuto answered as he kicked his bike stand into place. Then he looked at me with a slight smile. "Come on. Let's not keep them waiting."
He started down the street, I not a few steps behind as he led me to what I knew would be Agil's bar. Once a month, Kazuto and the others made a point to meet outside of virtual reality, and most of the time, they met there. I thought it was a nice sentiment, wanting to stay in touch in more than just one reality. I was so surprised to be invited that first time all those months ago, but it was touching, and I couldn't make myself say no.
The walk there was short and silent, but in a pleasant way. It felt nice just to walk with Kazuto down the street, the warm summer breeze caressing past us and the occasional shopper walking by. The tranquility left me content.
When we finally arrived, Kazuto opened the door and we were immediately greeted by a loud chorus of "Welcome back!"
"Uh, we're home?" Kazuto answered, sounding uncertain.
"Onii-chan! What took you so long?! We were worried something happened!"
I watched as Suguha and Rika came up to him, both looking somewhat upset.
"Yeah, Ka-zu-to. If you're going to be late, at least send a message to let us know where you are," Rika scolded, her hands on her hips as she glared at him.
"Uh, s-sorry," Kazuto immediately took on a defensive stance. "Traffic was held up on my way to pick up Shino."
"That still doesn't mean you can't send a text."
"What about when you stopped to pick up Shino-san, hmm?"
"W-well, you see…"
I chuckled a bit at their conversation, but I felt it was about time I left them to it. I didn't want to intrude, so I discreetly stepped around them and went over to the bar where I saw Klein—or Ryoutarou—and Agil talking. I sat down, trying not to interrupt them, and waited for a pause in their conversation to come up. Out of habit, I surveyed the room, careful to keep my gaze from lingering too long in one place. I saw a lot of people I had come to know over the last few months, people that I knew were good people, and I liked them, but… sitting there, watching their conversations from my bar stool, I felt like there was a barrier between us. Even though I was in the same room as them, I felt isolated, alone inside my prison of glass. They all knew each other from experiences they had all shared long ago—over one year ago in the death game known as Sword Art Online. And I… I didn't belong with them. It was sweet that they had all invited me to be in their group, but to be honest, I didn't fit in. I came from a different world than theirs. I didn't belong with them.
"Hey, Shino!" Ryoutarou broke me out of my thoughts, waving a hand at me genially from the seat next to me. "Glad you could make it!"
I smiled slightly at his greeting. Klein had always been a nice guy. So was Agil, and it hadn't taken long for them to earn my respect.
"We were starting to think Ryou scared you off," Agil added with a sly smile. The man next to me instantly protested but the bartender simply ignored him as he continued to address me. "Want anything to drink? It's on the house as always."
"Tea would be fine. Jasmine, if you have it."
"Sure. It'll be right up," he said, moving away to fix my order. Just then, the unoccupied stool at my other side scraped back. I turned and found Kazuto scooting onto the seat, his face slightly downcast and a sigh escaping his lips.
I felt a smile twitch at mine. "Having friend issues?"
"You could say that," he mumbled, slouching over onto the bar and leaning his cheek against the hardwood. His dark eyes flicked up to meet mine, concern suddenly prevalent in his irises. "How about you?"
I blinked, not sure what he meant. "What do you mean?"
He studied me for a moment, making me feel almost like his eyes were seeing right through me. "You just… look sad."
"…I do?"
He nodded, his back straightening so that he sat up. Seeing him like that, I suddenly wondered if he had somehow gotten taller. I watched as he reached a hand up to my face, his fingertips ghosting over my cheek as he brushed hair from my eyes. I froze, barely able to breathe at the sudden contact. "You're eyes look darker than normal, like something's on your mind. Is something wrong?"
"N-no," I answered automatically, but I got the feeling he didn't believe me. To be honest, the idea of him being able to read me so easily made me feel happy, excited, and I almost felt the urge to just talk to him… but it also made me feel alarmed and suddenly cautious. Kazuto was my closest friend and confidant, but something about allowing someone so close made me freeze up. He was very dear to me… but I didn't want to scare him away.
He looked like he was about to say something, but a couple of glasses filled with amber liquid were placed in front of us, the sound of ice clinking against glass cutting into our conversation.
"Order up."
Kazuto immediately retracted his hand from my face like he had been burned, and turned to look at Agil with a startled expression. I suddenly felt awkward, my cheeks unnaturally warm, and I turned my gaze away from him.
"I want to ask if that has alcohol in it, but I have a feeling I already know what your answer is."
"Jasmine," the barkeep answered simply, that sly smile back on his face. He looked between the two of us, almost suspiciously, and I had to divert my gaze to the wooden patterns in the table to avoid any more awkwardness.
Kazuto sighed. "Thanks, Agil," he said, picking up his glass and taking a sip. I could have sworn he was trying to hide a slight pink tint to his face, but when I properly saw him again, I concluded I had only imagined it.
For a few minutes, all we did was drink our tea. I held my glass between both hands, resting it on the table between sips and stirring the contents with the thin, red straw Agil had provided. The tea was good, just as I had expected. I liked the way Agil made the drink, not sickeningly sweet, but sweet enough to mask the bitterness of the herbs and blend the two tastes together.
I began surveying the room again, absently taking in subtle details. I guess that was an effect of having a sniper as an alter ego. I saw several people that hadn't come often since I started to tag along, like that couple… Yulier and Thinker—I couldn't remember their real names—sitting at one of the tables talking to Suguha. I briefly noticed the rings on their entwined hands and smiled before moving on. Keiko and Rika were huddled around the new pinball machine in the corner, yelling a bit louder than necessary as Rika was apparently beating Keiko's high score. Everyone just seemed so lively today…
But something was missing. I finally found what that something was in the corner. It was Asuna. Seeing the normally socially active girl sitting there by herself huddled with a computer surprised me. My attention caught on her for a long time, and I took to studying her actions, my brain automatically attempting to make deductions on what was bothering her. I assumed the computer was Yui's mechatronics interface from the way Asuna was talking to it, attempting to smile, but I could tell she was forcing it by the way her lips twitched at the corners. A few times, I saw her glance my way. She was looking at me.
A pang of panic struck through my chest. Had I done something wrong? Had I upset her somehow? I tried to remember if I had done any harm to her… but suddenly I remembered who was sitting next to me. I glanced at Kazuto, watching as he kept his eyes glued to his glass, his finger tracing the lip. Now that I thought about it, Asuna hadn't come to greet him when he came in.
"…Kazuto?"
Immediately, he turned to look at me. "Hmm?"
"Is… is something up between you and Asuna?" He simply stared at me as I continued. "Are you guys fighting?"
Our gazes stayed locked for a while, his eyes boring into mine, like he was searching for something. Finally, he shrugged, looking back at his drink forlornly. "Nothing's really up, it's just…"
I lightly bumped his shoulder with mine. "You don't have to talk about it, but I'm here if you want to. I understand if it's something only between the two of you."
"It's not that," he sighed, a hand running through his hair and pushing his bangs back. "Asuna and I… we don't really have anything between us. Like at all."
His statement confused me for a minute, and for a while, I simply sat. If nothing was going on, why were they acting so distant?
"'Nothing at all'… Wait." I suddenly turned to look at him, not believing my sudden conclusion. "You guys broke up?!"
"Yeah…"
I suddenly felt pity for him, but I felt like I didn't pity enough. "When?" I asked, trying to keep my voice quiet in consideration.
"Several weeks ago," he muttered. "I was planning on telling you, but I needed to sort some things out first."
I looked at him for a while, thinking over his words, but in the end I nodded and simply sat next to him, offering my presence. I could understand why the two of them breaking up was so hard, but then I couldn't wrap my head around why they would even do that. Kazuto and Asuna were the golden couple, the ones that had found each other in an impossible situation and fought to be together no matter the odds. I had only heard the story, but the idea of them separating seemed impossible even to me.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked quietly, looking down at my drink so as not to pressure him.
"…Maybe later."
When it began to grow dark out, I excused myself from the bar and said I had better get home before it got too late. Kazuto offered me a ride, saying that Suguha was planning on a sleepover with the other girls. They invited me, but I turned them down, saying I had to study for a test on Monday. But whether or not that was true, they never asked. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but the idea of going over to any of their houses to hangout gave me the feeling that I would only feel like an outcast.
Kazuto and I rode in silence, no words being said as I trusted him to remember where my apartment was. Before I knew it, we had already arrived, and I was getting off his bike, about to head inside. Suddenly, I remembered our conversation from earlier.
"Hey," I said, stopping him before he drove away. Kazuto turned to look at me, curious eyes catching mine through his helmet's visor. I gestured to the complex with my thumb. "Do you want to come in for a bit?"
He hesitated, his gaze flicking up to my apartment and then back at me in consideration. "…Sure."
I nodded, turning and heading for the stairs as I heard the ignition click off. Soon, I was at the door of my apartment, unlocking it and leaving it open for Kazuto as I stepped in. I placed my bag down by my desk, glancing around to make sure my room was actually decent before grabbing a shirt and pair of shorts from my wardrobe and heading to the bathroom. When I came out, I found Kazuto standing in my entryway, his black jacket hung up by the door, leaving his unsurprisingly dark clothes behind.
"Sit anywhere you want," I encouraged him, moving to hang my uniform up. "Do you want anything to drink?"
"No. Thanks, Shino," he said, smiling slightly as he moved across my room and sat in my desk chair. I watched as he went, suspicious of his stiff movements and unusual awkwardness. It wasn't weird for him to be that way, but this was my apartment. He normally seemed so at ease when he hung out here. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I attributed it to his recent break up with Asuna and moved to sit down on my bed, looking at him expectantly. It was silent for a while, as I watched him and waited, wanting to give him enough time to gather himself.
Finally, I felt it safe to ask. "Do you want to talk about it now?"
He was sitting backwards in the chair, his arms folded on the back and his chin resting on them as he nodded.
"…So what happened?" I pulled my knees up to my chest, keeping my eyes on him to show I was listening. He was quiet for a second, but I didn't push, knowing that he was only thinking.
"We didn't have a falling out, and we weren't fighting or anything, it just sorta happened." He paused again, his foot swinging rhythmically by the wheels of the chair. "We were actually doing pretty great. I was even planning on going to a university somewhere near where she lived, but then… I realized I didn't want that."
He paused again, and I confusedly tried to put his words together. He broke up with her because it was too difficult to stay close? That didn't sound like him at all. There had to be more than that.
He must have seen my thoughts in my expression, because he went on. "I don't hate Asuna, she will always be important to me, but I realized that I didn't love her anymore so…" he trailed off, watching my face as if hoping I would get it.
I barely paused before nodding. "You didn't want to lead her on." His face visibly relaxed a bit, showing relief. "…What about Yui?" I added, remembering Asuna talking to her in the bar.
"We explained it to her afterward. She was upset obviously, but she understands. She was initially a program engineered to monitor human mentality and emotions after all. She knows that those things can change."
I nodded again, resting my head on my arms in thought. I didn't want to push him anymore, knowing that he had told me a lot already. He wasn't obligated to give me every detail, and I felt honored simply by the fact that he had shared some of it with me.
"Asuna was pretty upset when I told her." I looked up, slightly surprised that Kazuto was telling me more, but I didn't complain and simply settled back to listen. "We had been together through a lot, and had practically promised to stay together forever, but… I feel like we may have rushed into it all too suddenly, especially for the occasion. We rushed our relationship… and I couldn't really keep that up. Not like that."
I stared at him, noticing how his eyebrows scrunched slightly and his eyes drifted off to some distant place—both indicators of the pain and regret he felt, even if it was just a little bit. I considered telling him that he didn't have to say anymore, but he didn't look like he wanted to stop. His jaw was set with determination.
"But there's more to it than that." Suddenly, he was looking at me, startling me with his intense gaze. It made me freeze in place, unable to look away. "It wasn't just the circumstances of our relationship that made me need to break up with her. I wasn't in love with Asuna."
That perplexed me. Hadn't he said that already? Why was he stating the same reason as two separate ones?
I didn't notice he had gotten up until he was halfway across the room. I looked up, surprised, and watched as he stopped, coming to stand in front of me beside the bed. His eyes locked with mine intently, his fingertips twitching with nerves, tempted to clench into a fist.
"This is kind of why I waited so long before I said anything. I wanted to make sure I told you when you would believe me."
I stayed silent, a small part of me suddenly jumping in some form of happiness, but it was immediately quelled by fear and a strong sense of denial. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say, but I didn't believe it. There was no way.
He gave me a small smile, moving to sit on the edge of the bed where he could still look at me. "I broke up with Asuna because I wasn't in love with her." That phrase again. I noticed one of his hands moving, reaching out for one of mine and taking it into his own. His cheeks had turned pink, just like I had thought I had seen in the bar, and his eyes flicked away from mine, as if he were having trouble keeping eye contact. "A few months ago, I realized that I liked someone else…"
It felt like a hole opened up in the bottom of my stomach. This… this couldn't be happening. He couldn't actually be saying this. Kazuto didn't like me… did he? That couldn't be true. And yet… he was sitting there, holding my hand, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he glanced away. That was just like him…
Abruptly, I pulled away, Kazuto looking at me in surprise. I shook my head, staring at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. "No—no, you can't like me. That just doesn't happen."
"Why not?" Kazuto asked, confusion clear on his face. "I do like you, Shino, as more than just a friend. Why is that so wrong?"
"B-because… because…" I could feel my voice trembling. I clutched my hands to my chest on instinct, wanting to ensure he wouldn't hold them again. My filthy hands…
"It's because I'm a horrible person!"
He froze, his onyx eyes widening and staring in surprise. "Shino… what are talking about?"
"I'm different, Kazuto. I'm not like everyone else. And I killed a man," I whispered, looking down at the bedsheets and feeling tears well up in my eyes. I didn't feel worthy, didn't feel clean enough to have him—or anyone, for that matter. "I murdered him with my own two hands when I was a child. Who other than a horrible person does such a thing?"
For several long seconds, he sat there, at a loss for words. He was probably in shock, being previously convinced that I was over this already, that I didn't think I was some monster—that I had saved lives—but I just couldn't get that image of blood out of my head.
"I-I know that…" I had to take a moment to swallow before continuing, still not being able to bring myself to look at him. "I know you showed me once that my actions saved a girl and her mother, but that doesn't change the fact that I have that man's blood on me." I lifted my hands, staring at the palms and seeing the red tainting them. "It would be different if I had saved those people without killing him, but I didn't, so I must bear the weight of my actions for as long as I live. I don't belong with normal, whole people. It would be better if I stayed by myself."
It was quiet again after that, the two of us sitting there in silence. I could hear the rain dripping outside and cars passing by in the street. After the silence persisted awhile, I let out a shaky breath. If Kazuto wasn't saying anything, then maybe he had changed his mind. Maybe he decided he didn't like me anymore and was trying to find some excuse to leave as soon as possible. The thought made my heart clench painfully. I couldn't deny that I liked him too, but it was better this way.
Suddenly, I felt a warmth envelop my hands. Jerking my head up in surprise, I saw Kazuto, his face looking pensive and solemn as his hands grasped my own. He was looking down at them, his warm, slightly rough skin sliding over mine and rubbing small circles with his thumbs.
"I guess… I see what you mean. I killed three people so long ago, and even after convincing myself it was for the greater good, their faces still come to haunt my dreams at night. It makes me feel isolated sometimes, like I'm separate from everyone else."
I was speechless, and could only watch as he pushed his palm against mine until our hands were flat against each other in front of us.
"I don't believe that you're a bad person, Shino, but if you really think you are…" He paused for a second, a small smile reaching his lips as he rotated his hand and threaded our fingers together. "I don't mind being horrible people together."
I stared at him, my eyes wide and my mouth barely able to form words. Him? Horrible? I had never once thought that when I learned about his past. "B-but… Kazuto. You're nothing like me, I'm—you're a good person."
"And I could say the same to you," he interjected, suddenly looking at me with his piercing, obsidian gaze. For a long time, he simply stared at me, looking so intent and determined that I couldn't look away. "We both have been through a lot, and we both have blood on our hands as a result, but that doesn't make us any less human." A small smile touched his lips at the end, to reassure me, before his face was blocked from my view. He leaned his forehead against mine, his hands moving gently so that his fingers cradled the back of my neck. "You're never alone, Shino. I hope you know that."
And then he kissed me. His lips were soft, tender against mine in a way that could only be him. It was like he was telling me his thoughts in a way that was deeper and more meaningful than words. He was saying that he was here—right here—and he was with me even if I was far convinced that I wasn't worth the effort. He was saying that he wanted to be with me, that I didn't deserve to be alone. He was telling me that I was worth staying for.
I felt my eyes stinging, heating up with tears. I had been alone for so long, and now, the only person I ever remotely considered wanting at my side was telling me he wanted to stay. It overwhelmed my chest with emotion—relief, happiness, desire—I wanted to be with him more than anything.
I let my eyes slide shut, and I felt something hot trail down my cheek. I sat up as I leaned into him, kissing him back, wanting nothing more than to stay this close to him forever. I think that surprised him, because for half a second, he paused. But I barely even noticed before he leaned into me again, his hands moving away from my neck only to slide around my waist and pull me into his lap, his body flush against mine. It sent my stomach into a flip, an addicting one, and I found my arms looping around his neck, trying to press us even closer, aching for any part of him that could make me feel that again. My fingers began to run through his hair on their own, my subconscious marveling at how soft it was. I felt his hands running over me, sending pleasant tingles through my body as one crept under my shirt to rest on my hip, trace my skin and play with the waistband of my shorts while the other trailed up and down my spine. It felt like we were moving as one, that we were one entity as our lips moved together. I loved the feeling and couldn't hold back a sigh, attempting to pull him closer, our lips pressing together even harder.
That seemed to set him off. Suddenly, he sat up and moved forward, pushing me until my back hit the wall, trapping me. The sudden movement surprised me, a small gasp escaping through my lips, but Kazuto didn't seem to hear as he moved away from my mouth to trail kisses along my jawline. I could feel him move against me, like his body was trying to memorize every inch of mine. But nothing he did surprised me at that point, only sent pleasant shivers down my spine. In that moment, it felt like I was in his mind and he in mine. I knew his every move, his every thought like it were my own—it was the closest I'd ever felt to anyone in my life, and suddenly, the only thought I had was of my craving for him.
I moaned, one hand trailing down his back, the other down his chest, both gripping in the fabric of his shirt. I felt him move down my neck, leaving a burning trail along my skin, and it took all my willpower not to whimper in pleasure. A part of me never wanted him to stop, but he was dominating me, I knew it, and another part of me cried out in disapproval. I didn't even think about it as I ducked my head and moved away from him. He grunted in frustration and disappointment, but just as soon stopped as I caught his lips with mine. My tongue darted out and pushed against his lips. He let me in in a heartbeat, a startled sound coming from him as our tongues collided. He didn't taste like I would have expected, sweet and musky, but something more on the salty side. It was almost like tasting table salt but more… intoxicating. It was like his taste was teasing me, and I only wanted more.
It felt like we stayed locked together for a long time—and yet, no time at all—but just as I felt my lungs burning, begging for air, we broke apart. My eyes shot open, immediately meeting Kazuto's. We stared at each other, our breaths labored but in sync. I could feel his heart beat in his chest, rapidly but steady beneath my palm. His presence was so solid right then, grabbing my full attention and refusing to let it go.
I wanted to keep going, to lose myself in him and never look back, but my more rational side knew that would be going too fast. And I knew that Kazuto was thinking the same thing; I could see the compassion in his eyes. He may have been as introverted and antisocial as I was, but that didn't mean he wasn't expressive. I figured that out when we first met.
His hand moved from my waist and to my cheek, his finger wiping away at the tear tracks I had forgotten about. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him as he smiled at me, not even when my throat constricted or my eyes began to sting again. I swallowed tightly, trying not to break down as my arms wrapped back around him, my face burying in his neck. I felt him pull me closer, one arm tightening at my waist and the other going around my back, his fingers running through my hair, assuring me of one crucial fact:
I wasn't alone anymore. In this desert that was my life, he had become my oasis.
No more words were said that night, and not much else happened either. At some point, we both silently agreed to go to bed. The lights were turned out, and I was suddenly experiencing what it was like to not sleep alone. Kazuto stayed with me, his arm draped over my waist, his soft breath at my ear. I could feel the warmth of his body at my back, a solid, comforting presence constantly reminding me of what he had promised. I felt calm, content, and before long, I had fallen asleep to the rise and fall of his chest.
When I woke up the next morning, I almost didn't want to move. But once I realized I was facing the wall, a previously occupied space as I remembered, I shot up in panic, my heart constricting in my chest.
Had it all been a dream?
Suddenly, I heard the sound of the bathroom sink running.
Oh. He's just in the bathroom.
I sighed, a wave a relief washing over me at the realization. I crawled back under the blankets, curling in on myself and closing my eyes against the coolness of the sheets. When the bathroom door finally opened, I opened my eyes again. Kazuto stood in the doorway to turn the light off before making his way back into the main room. Once he saw me awake, he smiled and moved closer to the bed.
"Good morning, Shino."
A soft smile touched at my lips. "Morning," I answered, my fingers curling around the edge of the blanket. I didn't want to say anything, but actually seeing him there made me remember when I fell asleep with him right beside me. I was tempted to ask him to come back.
I didn't ask. I didn't need to. He simply read my thoughts in the way only he seemed able to do, and pulled the covers up, cool air reaching me only to be replaced by his body heat. We weren't touching, but laying like this somehow seemed intimate regardless.
"What time is it?"
"Hmm. Almost noon," Kazuto answered, that smile still faintly pulling at his lips. "I was just thinking about that actually." I raised my eyebrows questioningly, and he glanced away. "I have some things to do before Sugu gets home later today, and I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch and then… go shopping?"
…This was his way of asking me out on a date, wasn't it? It was actually kind of endearing. Normally, I would have thought about it longer, or would have made up some excuse not to go, but then, the corner of my mouth tugged up in a smile, and I answered:
"I'd like that."
And normally, I would have wondered why I had even agreed to go with him, but the answer came so easily:
For the first time in a while, I felt at peace. I knew I didn't have anything to fear with Kazuto. He was the only one brave enough to look through the glass, to stand there on the other side and look me in the eye, to smile at me like I was a real person. He hadn't been afraid, hadn't even hesitated as he shattered my self-induced prison, broke through and reached out to me. He wasn't afraid to grab my hand and lead me out to share his precious world with me.