Return from Avalon

I wonder where dreams are idling at
Everyone was gone before I realize it
I move back to this shore,
Believing that I will get used to the fragments of light

—Sora ha Takaku Kaze ha Utau, Haruna Luna

"Where are we going?"

Saber's question hung in the air as Tohsaka and I lounged freely on our side of the bus aisle.

"Shirou—?"

"Sorry. I don't know either. Tohsaka's the one who came up with this." I smile reassuringly at her from my seat beside the window. Between us, Tohsaka smiled mysteriously, her catlike eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Don't be so impatient, you two. You'd know soon enough."

Saber and I exchanged looks, and I smiled awkwardly at her. Turning my head to the window, I glimpse at the green fields rolling by. They reminded me of Saber's eyes.

We truly are on her native land.

It has already been two years since we moved here to Britain for the Clock Tower. Tohsaka's education was our main priority, but as her apprentice, I also benefited from sitting with her during lessons and other extracurricular activities. Our dorm was too small for three people, but we make it work. Tohsaka and Saber often occupy the beds, while I take the small sofa by the window. Sometimes when I find myself working late into the nights I just sleep on the floor. It brought back memories of a much simpler, distant past.

As Rin's familiar, Saber wasn't really required to attend classes. She was more content with wandering around the campus, a lonely figure, but not really a strange one here in the Clock Tower, where magi from all kinds of cultures mix and match. Her beauty still draws attention from onlookers, of course, but in this foreign land her blonde hair and sharp green eyes didn't really stand out as much as they did back in Fuyuki.

Of course, occasionally, someone would hit on her. Saber would always rebuff them with her clear and elegant poise—and usually, they were too awed with her majestic attitude to want to pursue the matter any further. So Tohsaka and I weren't really worried about that front. Besides, if a guy does push his luck farther, Saber is more than prepared to take down an assailant.

Absently, I reach out and touch Tohsaka's single pigtail—reduced from her twin tails of old. Sometimes I miss her old look, but this simpler hairstyle lends her with something reminiscent of the charm of a much mature woman. I'm saying this because however refined she may be to our classmates, Tohsaka isn't really that mature yet. Our neighbor Luvia-san who has occupied the rest of our floor may well attest to that.

"What is it, Emiya-kun?" Feeling my finger run down her pigtail, she looked up and smiled.

"Nothing. This is such a random trip," I remarked, with a sigh.

She smiled. "We all need a change of pace. The city can be too stifling. Besides…" She glanced at Saber, who was watching the scenery with a relaxed brow. "I think it'll be worth it in the end."

Our destination was some huge ruins, perhaps a sort of monastery, surrounded by peaceful meadows. Tourists were walking about the place, and the breeze was gentle and sweet. As we approached one of the crumbling arches, I gawked at the solemnity, and the strange loneliness, of the sight.

"What is this place…?" I heard myself say.

"Glastonbury." Tohsaka smiled at me, and then glanced at Saber, who was staring up at the ruins with the same half-awed expression that I probably had.

"Glaston—?"

"Some say that this place is the mythical Avalon." She reached past me and grabbed Saber's hand. "Where a certain king's grave was supposed to be." She winked at Saber. "But we now know that it couldn't be true, right? Because you're with us."

Saber turned from Tohsaka and back to the ruin with a quick movement of her golden head, her green eyes wide.

"Geez, you guys are so serious." Tohsaka grinned widely and held up the bag that she carried. "Let's have lunch, and then look around the place."

After a simple meal of Tohsaka's signature sandwiches, we strolled around the ruins, admiring the ghostly and abandoned look of the place that lent it much of its romanticism. But of course that wasn't all. We saved heading over to where King Arthur's grave was marked on the map for last.

Saber seemed slightly apprehensive as we finally turned around and headed for the marked plot of land that indicated our final destination, but I knew that had I been in her shoes, I'd have been like that too. It seemed really strange to just go and visit the place where you were supposed to take your final rest.

King Arthur's burial site was a simple quadrangle of land, with little flowers growing all over it. There was a plaque erected on one end, with an inscription about how the tomb was supposed to contain Arthur's remains as well as that of his wife Guinevere. Saber just stood at the foot of the grave and took it all in, and for a while bowed her head as if in prayer.

"I wonder if Gwen is at peace now," she murmured softly. "I have caused her and Lancelot so much pain… I…"

"Shh." Rin took her hand again and squeezed. I grabbed the other and we stood there in a row, holding hands with Saber.

"In a way, your wish has been granted, isn't it?" I said gently. She looked up, puzzled.

"Whatever might you mean, Shirou?"

"The Holy Grail might have been a disappointment, but…" I gestured to the plains that stretched before us. "You can't say that your struggles as a king had been for nothing. For whatever it was worth, you left something behind. Your name has become a symbol of hope for your people."

"The legend of King Arthur says that he'll come back to Britain once more when the time is ripe," Tohsaka puts in, wisely. "Who's to say that isn't true? You're here, Saber. Between me and Shirou. It certainly took you a millennium and a half just to come home, but…"

Saber's lips quirked into a small smile at Tohsaka's firm words, for the first time since the morning.

"You're right, Rin." She looked around. "But why now?"

"Because I've noticed that you've been a bit down these days." Tohsaka sighed. "I was thinking that maybe you were torturing yourself again about the choice that you made to stay here with us instead of going back. I was right, wasn't I?"

Saber flushed and looked down guiltily. "It wasn't that I didn't enjoy life here with you and Shirou, but…"

"I understand what you feel, Saber." At the sound of my voice, she turned to look at me. "I think that's what also drove me to pursue the study of magecraft… the nagging feeling that since I haven't saved them, those people that night, and now that I survived and chose to survive…" I gripped her hand. "But it's not wrong to choose life over death, Saber. If I learned something from Dad, it's that it's never wrong. To save just one life—even if it's yours. You've chosen the chance become normal, Saber. Don't regret that chance."

We stared at each other for a long moment. Behind us, I can hear the shouts of kids playing merrily and running around. Tohsaka just let her eyes wander between the two of us, tensed.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity… Saber nodded.

"You're… right."

She smiled slightly.

"It's what Ector would have wanted."

"Ector?"

"My father. My foster father." She laughed. "I never really knew my true father except from Merlin's tales. I'd imagine that Uther Pendragon was someone who was too rash for his own good, if that magus was to be believed…"

Tohsaka seemed to relax visibly at the sound of Saber's laugh. "Ah well. Seems that Saber is more like herself now."

"Yes." Saber squeezed Tohsaka's hand back. "Thank you for bringing me here, Rin. But I think it's time to head back. We're all tired from running around."

"I agree. I've accomplished my goal anyway." Tohsaka beamed at us. "And… Saber?"

"Rin?"

"This time around, you're not some kind of lonely king, okay?" She smiled. "You have the both of us to love you!"

Saber's face was so red at this sudden declaration from Tohsaka that we just had to laugh, even though I was a bit pinkish myself.

After saying our last prayers at the grave, Tohsaka, Saber, and I turned to head back. Behind us, I imagined hearing the wind whistle through the ruins of Glastonbury.

It was a strange and magical place.

There was a chance that it wasn't the real Avalon… but it's, in a way, something that's close to it. Something healing and spiritual.

Something that speaks of hope that's been lost and then found.