A/N: To the reviewer asking if I'd do a side story/chap (or something along those lines) in regards to Doug's character – I can't promise that he'll make an appearance in this fic, since Miles & Lauren really are the focal point and the only thing remaining from the drama of the movie is the painful memories, not further association. However, I do have a crossover idea of sorts in mind that does relate directly w/ Doug's character. When I get inspired for that one again, I'll be sure to start it up.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

*beta'd by sendtherain and re-posted ( on 8/31/18)

Chapter 2 –

Her resolve lasted until she got inside her room and shut the door. She locked it for good measure, even though the locks in this particular dorm were rarely reliable. She set her school books down after that, then she paced her small quarters. She tried standing still, but her hands shook and her legs moved restlessly. Her hair was suddenly too hot on her neck, even though and the short strands barely grazed it. She took her headband off, but instead of setting nicely on her dresser, she flung it across the room because she couldn't control her motions.

She tried to think of what to do – anything that would help her get through this situation. Because there was nothing to do but get through it.

Two and a half years later, everything that happened in that one semester still burned her. Hearing his voice today, seeing him look directly at her, actively conversing with him – something she'd sworn she'd never do again – being close enough to touch him…

It made her furious.

And it wasn't just because of how he'd hurt her, of how he'd taken advantage of her, of how he just didn't care enough to think about what his actions might do to her. It hadn't occurred to him that the riot club might be a bad idea, even though she'd told him over and over that it was. He'd brushed it off as her being a girl who couldn't handle what guys did for fun. But even though she was mad at how easily he dismissed her, she'd let it go, and she'd gone to him. And then…

She swallowed back the food she'd eaten earlier, which was threatening to rise in her throat. It burned and repulsed her, reminding her of how she'd felt for days, weeks, months after he'd betrayed her. It didn't matter that he had tried to stop the abuse eventually. He'd waited until it was in motion. He'd made an effort too late. Why they hadn't just raped her right in front of him was a mystery she'd probably never know the answer to, but her best guess was they considered her too far beneath them in social standing. That made her feel even more sick to her stomach.

As unbelievable as it was though, the events that had ended their relationship weren't what put her in a rage right now. This rage wasn't just pure fury. This was anger, heartbreak and confusion all rolled into one. What pushed her to the boiling point after their first interaction in years was everything that came before.

Before the disregard, before the abuse at the hands of his "friends", before he didn't think enough to care, before he thought he was better than them just because he didn't act violently as they did.

"I'm Lauren."

"Miles."

She collapsed onto her bed and leaned back till her head hit the wall. She closed her eyes, but refused to let herself cry. She wouldn't let him have that power over her. He shouldn't still be such a source of raw emotion for her. Not after she'd forced him to keep his distance. Not after she'd spent the entire summer out in the country with Allie forgetting him. Not after she'd developed a real social life and still found time for studies. Not after she'd finally started to feel normal again, to feel like she did before she even met him – except now she was more cautious, and she was brave and strong.

There had been flirtations with other guys, but she never dated. A few drinks at the bar – no sex, no dates, just friends with all of them. Sometimes they disappeared entirely when they realized how she had no intention of lifting her foot off the brakes. That didn't bother her. After her encounter with all those raucous boys and the one that had her heart racing only to completely smash it into pieces, she was in no hurry to try it again. She hadn't seen his fatal flaw early on, so how was she supposed to detect it in others before it was too late?

Even at her most confident, she knew deep down he'd scarred her in ways she couldn't even begin to comprehend. She didn't try out for the plays, because she worried he might be in the audience. She didn't join the band or any sports team, because she worried that on some far-fetched turn of events, she might get awarded for something – the school might recognize her in a pamphlet of sorts – and he might see it. Who knew if he would cross the line then to congratulate her?

She'd let the fear of their next interaction, should it ever happen, consume her, even as she told herself she was getting better. She'd let it keep her from doing the things she loved.

This was Oxford. She should want to try out every new opportunity when it arose. Who knew when such a vast array of things would be available to her again?

The part she feared most wasn't any physical harm. As crazy as it was, she knew Miles would never hurt her. He was too much of a coward to try to stop violence happening right in front of him, but there was enough goodness in him to know what was right and what was wrong in its basest form. At least she wanted to believe that - that there was goodness in him, that he hadn't been playing her the whole time. It bothered her how desperately she wanted to believe he wasn't.

She had to take into consideration after all how there was so much at stake if she followed through with her threat. Not just for him, but for his family, for his reputation, for his family's reputation… In her weakest moments, she relapsed and hoped he followed through with her rules because he didn't want to hurt her further. Only then did she cave to dreaming about what their future could have been like if things had been different. It was foolishness to expect too much of the guy who talked a good game, but didn't follow through in the end and in fact failed so spectacularly that there was no chance for redemption. There never would be when it came to him in her opinion.

But he had a hold over her still.

If she'd had any doubt of that before now, it had become blatantly clear when the first thing she felt on seeing him in the hall was butterflies, not seething rage.

She was in over her head, just as she had been from the very beginning.

…

Later that evening, after the supper she told herself she had no appetite for but knew she had to consume, Lauren went on her regular eight o'clock run around campus. She tried to keep her mind blank but it kept returning to the past hours she'd spent sulking and liable to throw things. The only thing she was grateful for that day was the absence of further classes. She didn't know if she could take Miles being in another class with her that neither of them could get out of.

When her rage and her heartbreak cooled a little, she had managed to call her best friend and release some of her frustration to the only other person she knew she could trust with the information.

"It happened," she'd said.

"He didn't," Allie had responded, and Lauren was so, so grateful that she had a best friend who was so in sync with her.

"He did." She'd paused. "I mean, he didn't speak to me, but it's only a matter of time."

"Are you going to…?"

And then Lauren had sighed. "Can't. Literally neither of us can get out of it. It wouldn't be fair to him, since—"

"Now you care about being fair to him," Allie had spat.

"He's not doing it on purpose!" she'd defended and knew she was in trouble. "Besides," she'd continued. "As I said, he didn't say a single word when I informed him how things were going to work. Obviously that can't continue, since we're stuck as partners in that class for the rest of the semester."

Allie had sighed and demanded all the details. When she got them she wasn't of much help aside from an offer to kick his ass and be a crying shoulder for her whenever she needed it.

Lauren didn't go to dinner with the other friends she'd made at Oxford. She went late and to a place that was rarely filled with people she knew – it was impossible to every know everybody at Oxford, the place was so huge. She ate and she came back to her room and she tried to put herself in a place where worries and frustrations and Miles couldn't reach her.

Then she changed into a light t-shirt, gym shorts and running shoes, slipped on a stretchy neon headband and went on her run. She took special care to avoid places she and Miles had spent together the short time they'd been dating. But there was one place she'd nearly forgotten about, one that made her stop right in her tracks when she reached it, one that had meant so much to her that it was scary to think she'd forgotten it.

So endearingly romantic. So reckless. So them.

The clatter of shin against wooden table and stacks of chairs made Miles swear under his breath, causing her to collide into him from behind.

"Oof." She braced herself with her hands on his back. "Are you alright?" she whispered when he didn't ask how she was doing.

"Just fine," Miles ground out.

The moon streaming through the sole window on the far side of the room finally made out his form and she smiled.

"We can leave if you broke a nail," she offered.

He looked back over his shoulder, shocked and then amused.

"You would bail now. Already? Have you so little faith in me?"

She only smiled wider. "I don't know. Is your poor leg alright, baby?" she teased.

He turned around and was caught completely off guard when stood up on her tip-toes and kissed him. She'd meant for it to be a quick peck, but he pulled her to him in that split-second and lingered on her lips.

When he set her down, her eyes were a little bit hazy, even in the dark. She could tell that by the smug look on his face.

"Careful or I'll be tempted to ravage you right here, and all my romantic intentions will be for nothing."

She raised an eyebrow. "Ravage me?" She laughed at the word choice, as she often did with him.

His eyes glinted with lust, but in the next moment he took her hand and pulled her through the room until they'd gone through three large cafeterias into one with windows lining every inch of square space on the walls. It was a wonder they were individual windows and not just one long panorama of glass.

"Don't-" he said when she started to reach for a light switch.

"I thought you said no one can see us from this side of the building. We're on the other side of campus already."

He pulled her to him and she thought he might kiss her again, but his mouth only hovered above hers.

"The fun is in almost getting caught, but we should still take precautions."

She smiled then and relaxed.

"Alright, Mister Richards, show me your romantic intentions."

He grinned. Releasing her for what had to be at least a minute, he disappeared into the darkness of the other side of the room, miraculously not hitting a single table or chair and turned on some nearly silent music. A gorgeous piece from an artist she couldn't remember.

"Music is less risky than lights?" she dared when he came back to her.

He grinned. "You'll have to take my word for it."

"Ah, but I don't have your word. All I have is cursing and shushing and disappearing into the dark – and no lights."

He laughed but took her hand and brought her to the middle of the room. He soundlessly brought a couple chairs over to the sturdy tables they stood beside and made the trek till he was on the surface.

"I'm not coming up there," she laughed. "No way it'll hold us."

"It holds me," he assured her.

"Not for long…"

"I'm offended."

"I'm serious, Miles."

"You're also light as a feather, so no way your weight is going to crash this table to the ground."

She sighed, deliberating, but his hand as still held out and his urging was relentless, so finally she took hold of him and carefully joined him on top of the table. Then he placed one of his hands in hers, the other on the small of her back and started to sway her to the music.

"Is this table very big?" she murmured. "I can't tell."

"I'm not sure…"

She jolted back. "Mi-"

"Big enough for us," he assured. "And also next to many other tables. If we trip over this one, we land on another."

She laughed. "Well, that's very reassuring, Miles. Thank you."

He chuckled, but held her closer, resting his cheek against the side of her face.

"Just trust me, Lauren. I've got you."

And she had.

For the next twenty minutes, she'd let loose, completely trusted him, and allowed herself to be swept away by the romance. They never fell, and when the moon shone through all the windows she could see how very right he had been. There had been no risk of falling at all.

"See," he'd teased, and she'd rolled her eyes. A beat later, he'd goaded her, "It was a little thrilling though, right? Thinking you might fall at any moment?"

She'd punched his shoulder, and he'd laughed. When the music ended, they'd snuck out undetected and ended up back in his room. Naturally after all that romance she'd succumbed to his seduction, though he hardly had to try. It was heaven being with him, no matter what they were doing. And when she woke up the next morning, wrapped up in his arms, she skipped her morning class to stay there and relish every moment.

She stood at that old building now, frozen in time as the memory washed over her. Her legs were numb, despite the warm breeze swirling around her. Eventually, she forced herself to move and ran straight back to her dorm. She took a quick shower and went to bed, forcing herself not to dwell on other memories and hoping her night would be restful and dreamless. To her great disappointment and very accurate predictability, neither were granted to her.

A/N: Thank-you for reading. Happy reviews are love.