This story evolved out of two different writing prompts from the archive-of-evil on tumblr: 1) Megamind's life is threatened by a man with a gun, and 2) Roxanne discovers a seriously injured Megamind. (Only here she visits him in the hospital.)

I had the hardest time getting the ending right, but I am finally somewhat satisfied with it. The title went through several changes as well, probably because there's so much going on. Let's just have fun with this, come on!

"Oh man, we're gonna be in so much trouble!" Hal whispered. "I've never done anything like this before. We're gonna get the first scoop for sure. This is like we're real private detectives. Like in Magnum P.I. You ever seen that? Hey, Roxinator, how'd you know we could get in this way? You got one of those, like, informants, or..."

"Hal," Roxanne whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Could you be quiet?"

Hal grumbled into silence.

Roxanne padded swiftly through the silent hospital corridor, past huge carts piled high with folded towels and sheets. Her heart pounded. Despite her reputation as a nosy reporter, she hardly ever trespassed, and never before in the hospital.

Megamind had been shot. That was all that anyone knew, other than that he'd just gotten out of surgery. She'd gone rigid when she heard, and then came news that he'd survived, and then she could breathe again. Which was a little strange, if she let herself think about it too much. One would think she might even feel disappointment that her repeat kidnapper had lived, free to badger and annoy her another day. But the thought of Megamind dead, all that excitability stilled, those brilliant green eyes closed forever, left her feeling cold.

Security was so tight they were screening all visitors, which to her seemed ridiculous. The only one who would conceivably try to free Megamind was Minion, and Roxanne doubted he would try a rescue attempt when the boss had just gone under the knife. And even if he did try to spring Megamind, did they really think he would use one of the main entrances? No police guarded the back of the hospital. Not a single cop.

She knew a way in, thanks to, ironically enough, Megamind.

He'd bragged about it once, about how simple it was to get into the hospital through their many back doors. "I generally take the morgue entrance," he'd said airily. "Least amount of traffic. Nobody wants to hang out down there, other than the odd coroner. And believe me, I mean odd. Those people have a weird sense of humor." He grimaced. "You'll want to avoid them. If Lois Pasternak offers to give you a hand, do not accept."

"And why did you find it necessary to break into the hospital?" she'd asked.

"If I'm simply walking in through an unlocked entrance it's hardly 'breaking in' now is it?" he replied with a smug grin. That was Megamind for you, master of the sidestep.

Once she and Hal were on a main floor without running into any coroners, odd or otherwise, she began to relax. She'd made him leave the camera behind. They'd be less noticeable if he weren't lugging equipment around. They were in; so far as anyone knew, they were just normal visitors here to visit a normal patient.

Unless she got recognized. As the reporter most likely to get kidnapped (indeed, the only one whom Megamind ever kidnapped), and who got more than her fair share of screen time thanks to said kidnappings, her face was well-known, especially to the police.

She'd better move fast.

She did have an informant, in fact, an LPN named Valerie, who'd told her which room they were keeping Megamind in until he was well enough to transfer to the prison.

They took the elevator to the correct floor, a distant wing of the hospital isolated from the majority of the patients.

She was about to peer around the corner when she heard a murmur of voices, and then footsteps. Pressing against the wall, she cast a warning look at Hal, who was fidgeting. He flattened his pudgy body against the wall.

Of course she didn't know who was walking this way, not really, but it was a heavy tread, probably a man. Wouldn't a doctor be walking faster? It could be a male nurse.

Her intuition paid off. A police officer walked past. He stopped by the water fountain and drunk noisily.

She didn't dare move. When he turned around he'd see them for sure.

He straightened up and went into the restroom.

She huffed out a breath in relief as the door swung closed behind him, and walked down the hall.

Hal giggled hysterically behind her, and she shot him an angry look. He clapped his hands over his mouth. She wished she'd left him in the van too.

The cop's empty chair sat outside room 441. She took a deep breath and went in.

Megamind lay in the hospital bed covered with a sheet. It was an older bed with metal railings, rather than one of the newer ones with plastic sidewalls covered with buttons. It was little better than a gurney, and conspicuously free of technology. One wrist was shackled by a handcuff to one of the sidebars so his left arm hung suspended. His right shoulder and upper chest were covered with bandages. She could see them bulking up the hospital gown.

He looked small and overexposed, with nothing but the hospital gown and sheet covering him. She'd never seen his bare hands and arms before. His face was so pale he was almost as white as the pillowcase, though two hot pink spots lay on his cheekbones and his lips were gray. An IV was attached to the arm suspended from the cuff.

She thought he was unconscious, but then his eyes cracked open and his head turned slightly toward her.

"Hey!"

Roxanne jumped and Hal squawked.

Crap. A police officer was sitting inside the room, in the corner. He dropped the newspaper he'd been reading and scrambled to his feet.

"How'd you get in here? No press!" he said, holding up his arms in front of them. "You gotta leave!"

The guy looked pretty young, and he spoke like he was scared he was going to get grounded.

Roxanne drew herself up and ignored the arm trying to push her out. "I was told he'd be here," she said curtly, which was true enough. "I've come to interview him. Our viewers expect to get the full story, of how, why, and who." She gave him a bright smile.

He cocked his head, his eyes darting around uncertainly. "Who told you he'd be here?"

"I've spoken to Captain Gregory," she said, sidestepping the question. Again, this was completely true. She had, though she left off the part about how he'd refused her permission to come for an interview with the city's most notorious villain. "Maybe I could interview you next? We couldn't bring the camera, but afterwards we can go down to the news van and get you on tape."

The cop glanced over his shoulder at Megamind lying motionless. She could almost see the wheels turning in the cop's head. Oh, well, since she'd talked to the captain...and she was here, they must have let her in...

"Okay, but just a few minutes. Um." He straightened up. "Don't touch the prisoner or the bed, including the rails. Do not hand him anything, or accept anything from him."

She walked over to the bed. Megamind watched her from under lowered lids. Not quite hostile, but wary and apprehensive. His neck looked very thin.

She'd had her appendix out when she was thirteen, and not only had she had a bad reaction to one of the medications, she'd been horribly shy at the time, and was embarrassed by the large number of relatives who came to visit, some of whom she hadn't seen in years. She began to feel like an intrusive jerk, confronting him when he was in such a helpless state. Then she remembered the time he'd kidnapped her when she was in her nightgown. True, at least he'd let her cover up with a robe before putting her on display for the evil scheme he'd cooked up, but how many times had he inconvenienced and embarrassed her?

The memory stiffened her resolve. Now she'd see how he liked getting ambushed in a vulnerable state. She'd be detached and professional, ask a few simple questions, then let him rest.

The officer didn't sit down again, but hovered by the foot of the bed, his thumbs stuck in his belt. She wished she could tell him to go sit down but had a feeling that she was pressing her luck as it was.

Megamind's slitted eyes moved from Roxanne to the cop and back to her again. She took out her recorder, and glanced at her notebook to remember her questions. Now that she was closer she could see the sheen of sweat that covered his large blue head, and the tightness in his neck and jaw.

"Megamind, can you hear me?" she said.

"Course," he mumbled. "To what... what this plea...sure?" His once-brilliant green eyes were dull and sunken. "Forgive me...not get up." He waved his cuffed arm slightly, making the chain clink.

The slurred words chilled her. She'd never heard him sound like that before. She looked down at her notes, which seemed to shrivel on the page. What in the hell had she been thinking? He'd just gotten out of surgery, for God's sake.

The cop might send them on their way if she didn't start talking.

"May I ask you a few questions?"

A muscle moved in his jaw but he didn't answer.

She took that for a yes. "Do you remember how you got here?"

He blinked once, slowly. "Amb'lance." He actually raised one of his eyebrows.

Ha ha. "I mean, do you remember why you're in the hospital?"

"Shot." He sagged into the pillow, giving up all pretense of banter.

"Do you know who shot you?"

His eyes flickered toward the cop. "Police."

The cop shook his head. "If you'd surrendered, it wouldn't have happened."

"Din't show badges," Megamind mumbled. "Jus' shooting."

"That's not what happened," the cop protested. "Lady, that is not what happened."

Roxanne shot him a glance, hoping to make him be quiet, and looked into Megamind's eyes. "You've mentioned before that the properties of your villainous outfit include bullet-proofing. How..."

The cop smirked. "He was in his jammies."

Megamind's lip twitched into a sneer and his slitted eyes gleamed with malice. "How...you know? Din't see you there. Why don't you suck on my..."

"Excuse me," Roxanne said loudly, looking at the officer. "I really am in a time crunch here, got several more questions to get through, and I am not ready to interview you yet." Or ever, she thought. She didn't like the idea of leaving Megamind alone with this guy.

The cop flushed. Megamind coughed, almost laughing, and then he grimaced and tensed up so that every tendon in his neck stood out. He groaned, "Fuuuuuck." Gradually his spasm eased and he settled back onto the bed.

Roxanne's hands were sweaty. The hell with detached and professional. "Megamind, this may seem like a stupid question, but are you all right?"

His cheek twitched. "Pain meds. Wore off. Uuuhhhh." He bared his teeth and the cords of his neck stood out again. "Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck."

"Shouldn't we call the nurse?" she said to the cop.

"He gets a dose every four hours. It's not time yet."

"But he needs something now! Why is he in so much pain?"

Megamind mumbled, "My special physi..." He swallowed hard. "Physiology. Medicine goes through me. Extra quick." The chain jingled as he clutched the railing, knuckles going white. He squinted at the clock. "One hour forty-nine minutes to go," he whispered, and closed his eyes.

Villain he might be, but he didn't deserve to be in this kind of pain. "Where's the call button?" she muttered, looking around and under the bed. They couldn't have left him with no way to call the nurse at all, could they? There had to be a damn call button somewhere.

The cop put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, you can't do that."

"I'm not giving him anything, I just want to..."

The door gave a slight creak. A nurse, middle-aged and thick-set, came into the room. Her eyes widened at the sight of Roxanne and Hal. She had the look of a veteran who wouldn't stand for any nonsense. If she made a fuss about this unauthorized visit, there wasn't much Roxanne could do.

Roxanne's best defense was to act as if she had every right to be there. Besides, she had a different goal now. "He's in pain," she said. "Can't you give him something? If he processes medicine faster than normal, shouldn't that be in his chart?"

"They told me every four hours," the cop said stubbornly.

The nurse, who was still holding onto the door, drummed her fingers on it in a nervous way for a moment, and Roxanne noticed she was wearing a man's watch, large and with a broad wristband. That was a little strange, but it wasn't as if women had to wear dainty little watches. This one probably had special functions like timers and alarms, which she imagined would be very useful for nurses.

"I'll get the doctor," the nurse said, and hurried away.

The cop stationed outside stuck his head in. "What the hell's going on in here? Why you let these people in?"

The young cop flushed. "Well, they're press. They said, um." He looked helplessly from Roxanne to the other officer. "They said...um..."

The older cop had a set to his jaw that warned her he was ready to physically eject her and Hal from the room.

Fortunately, a tall man smelling of Old Spice cologne came in, followed by the nurse. "Is there a problem here?"

"Why have you been withholding medication from this patient?" Roxanne asked.

The doctor frowned. "There hasn't been any withholding. Nurse, when's his next injection?"

"His system processes medicine at a much faster rate than a human's. You have to account for that."

The doctor drew himself up. "He has engineered escapes multiple times in the past," he said. "From this very hospital. We can't allow too much contact with the staff. This could well be a calculated act designed to..."

The nurse interrupted, "It's on his record that he needs a dose every two hours. Dr. Lahiri always made sure the staff knew it, too."

The doctor looked at her in surprise, then his expression became belligerent. "Dr. Lahiri is no longer here."

The nurse said, "Every two hours, easing off to every three hours after a twenty-four hour period. Says so right here." She pushed the clipboard at Roxanne. She grabbed it, fumbling a little, but clearly the nurse recognized her as an ally. Roxanne scrutinized the chart as if it was the Rosetta Stone.

The doctor protested, "We're not going to cater to the whims of a...a..."

"Police suspect? Alien?" Roxanne said sharply. "A patient who is clearly in pain and in urgent need of care?"

She handed the chart to the doctor and raised her recorder. "So which is it, Dr..." She glanced at his coat, but there was no tag. "You don't have a name tag. Don't want to be identified? Who do I have to talk to in order to get the real story around here?"

The doctor, increasingly flustered, said, "No, of course not. Nothing to hide. Name's Phil Drummond." He flipped through the chart.

Roxanne watched him, inordinately pleased that he was sweating. The power of the press, you couldn't beat it. Everyone in the room was staring at her, transfixed, even the cops had accepted her presence.

The doctor cleared his throat. "Nurse, prepare half a dose of morphine. It's the prescribed dose recommended by the prison doctor," he added quickly as Roxanne opened her mouth. He glared at the nurse as she left.

A few minutes later a different nurse came in with the syringe. The matronly nurse hovered near the door. The doctor went over to her and began whispering at her in a hiss. She looked at the floor and clasped her hands in front of her, accepting the rebuke meekly. Roxanne felt bad, and wondered if there was anything she could do for her.

It was pretty crowded in there. Roxanne hung back as the shot was administered. The cops wandered back to their stations. The doctor finished scolding the nurse and stormed out of the room.

Megamind had one more spasm of pain, which seemed even longer than the last one. His breath came in short, harsh pants, and he tried to sit up. "Son of a bitch," he muttered, and sagged back again.

Gradually, the tension around his mouth and eyes relaxed, and the gray pallor left his lips. His skin looked a little less washed out. The nurse came to stand by the bed. Megamind croaked, "Water."

A huge plastic mug with a cover appeared in her hands as if by magic. She adjusted the bed so he was more upright, and held the straw to his lips. He drank for a surprisingly long time. Roxanne wondered how he was able to breathe. There was a loud sucking sound as he hit bottom and he sank back. "Thank you, Minion," he mumbled.

The nurse briskly pulled the sheet up to his neck. "Delirious."

Megamind's head lolled to the side and he gave Roxanne a dreamy look. "My sweet angel of mercy."

Hal snickered.

Roxanne felt her cheeks get hot. She'd almost forgotten he was there. She probably should try to ask a couple more questions to justify her presence, though it seemed increasingly unfair, to question him when he was incapacitated like this.

The door opened again and for a moment she thought Dr. Drummond had come back, but it was another older man with white hair and a mustache. His shoulders were slumped, but he stiffened at the sight of her.

Megamind made an irritated noise. "The day just keeps getting better and better."

The man's red-rimmed eyes moved between her and Hal. "Get out," he snapped.

Roxanne tensed at the man's hostility. "I'm Roxanne Ritchi. I only... I meant to..." Guilt and fear warred within. One look at this man and she knew he wasn't going to listen to any bullshit. Besides, she'd pretty much used up all excuses for being where she shouldn't have been in the first place.

The man got even redder. "Get out!" he shouted. "I want you vultures out of here!"

Roxanne hurried for the door, Hal almost stepping on her heels. The nurse came out too, and bustled down the hall. Behind her she heard Megamind's petulant mumble. "Give it a rest, old man."

Roxanne, heart pounding, feeling a little unbalanced by the stranger's outburst, headed for the elevators, and then realized she really ought to interview the nurse. The woman had challenged the doctor, and endured a rebuke. Would it affect her job, get her in more trouble? A very dedicated nurse indeed, to put herself on the line to help such a high-profile criminal.

Maybe that was even a motive for her behavior, Roxanne thought uncharitably. To have a bit of a connection to someone famous, or infamous. She didn't seem like the type, though. She seemed genuinely concerned with Megamind's condition. Well, Roxanne would find out.

But the matron was already disappearing around a far corner. Roxanne ran to catch up. "Hey, wait! Ma'am, please wait. Do you have time to..."

Roxanne went around the corner. The hallway was empty. She pushed open the door to the nearest stairwell and listened, but she didn't hear footsteps. She sighed and went back toward the elevators. She met Hal halfway there. He leaned against the wall, puffing, then hurried after her again.

"Who does he think he is, anyway?" Hal said indignantly. "Man, it's a good thing that old guy was, like, old, or I woulda told him where to stick it. I thought he was gonna punch me. Woulda totally sued him." He giggled. "Man, I never saw anybody get so red. Probably gonna have a stroke. Megamind looked like shit. He..."

"Hal," she said, coming to a stop at the water fountain. Hal almost bumped into her.

"Huh? Yeah?"

"Could you get me a snack? A vending machine's down that way."

"Uh, sure thing, Roxaroo. Whatever."

He grumped off, but she refused to feel bad about making him a gofer. She couldn't handle his rambling just then. She wanted to collect her thoughts and think about what she would say in her next broadcast. All she had to go with was Megamind's claim that he had been shot by police. Unfairly, it sounded like. Had they panicked? Thought he was about to attack? In his pajamas?

The police wouldn't be able to deny who had done the shooting, though no doubt they'd put their own spin on the event. Well, she would have some very pointed questions for them.

The door to Megamind's room opened and the man with the mustache came out. She almost ducked into the restroom, then stood her ground. She wasn't going to run and hide. She felt her shoulders tighten up when he spotted her. He turned away, staring at the floor, and then seemed to make up his mind. Keeping his gaze lowered he walked toward her, slowly. He stopped when he was still several feet away, his manner bashful. "I have to apologize for my behavior. It was inexcusable. He told me what you did."

"Well, anybody would have."

He shook his head. "No. No, I don't think anyone would."

Now Roxanne felt really embarrassed. "Excuse me, but who are you?"

He looked at her in surprise, and let out a dry humorless chuckle. "Oh. We've never actually met, have we?" He stuck out his hand. "I'm the one tasked with keeping our prison's most notorious criminal under lock and key."

Roxanne shook his hand. They'd only ever talked on the phone, briefly. "Nice to finally meet you, warden. Mr. Parker."

"Call me John."

Roxanne pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "I'm sorry for intruding, John. But if you'll excuse me for saying so, you seemed unusually upset over his condition. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I...I couldn't help but notice."

He stared at her for a moment. "I'm his father."

"Oh." She'd had no idea. She really hadn't done much digging into Megamind's background. "It must be hard to see him like that."

He looked at the floor. "When I first got the call, they told me he was in the morgue. I couldn't... I just... went home for a while. Then when I get here they tell me he's in recovery."

Roxanne put her hand on his forearm, remembering how she'd felt when she heard. At least she'd gotten the real news that he was alive pretty quickly. How long had the warden believed his son was dead? "That's terrible. I'm so sorry that happened."

He wiped his nose with a handkerchief. "Thanks for challenging them on the pain meds. I sometimes have to make a nuisance of myself to get him the right medication."

"No problem."

"It was very kind of you, especially after all the shi...stuff he's put you through." They stood there in silence for a little while.

"Mr. Parker, he said he'd been shot by the police, with no warning. Do you think you and I could sit down and talk about that?" She hated asking for an interview, since his comment about vultures had hit a little too close to home, but if it was true about the police, she wanted to find out.

She watched his face, and it was as if a window had shuttered. "He's in no condition to talk, Miss Ritchi," he said. She had a bad feeling he was beginning to think that she'd gotten the pain medication for Megamind so that he'd be able to answer her questions. "Thank you again, and good day."

"Wait," she said, laying a hand on his arm before he could leave. "Here's my card. Even if you need someone to talk to, just to talk, off the record, I hope you'll give me a call. You have my word it won't make it into any news outlet." She was overstepping, big time, but the warden looked so alone, the least she could do was offer him a sympathetic ear, even if he never wanted an official interview. I should have asked if I could call someone for him, he shouldn't have to deal with this by himself. But I doubt he'd let me, now.

He was still frowning at her a little suspiciously, but he nodded and stuck her business card in his pocket. She watched him stride away down the hall. Hal came around the corner and flinched almost comically at the sight of him.

Hal handed her a bag of corn nuts. "Hey, was he bothering you? 'Cause I'll totally take care of him if he's..."

"It's fine, Hal. Let's get back downstairs."

"I have to say, Sir, it's so good to see you back to your old evil self again."

"It's good to be back, Minion. Or should I say bad." They chuckled. Megamind swished his cape. Slight pulling across the right pectoral, otherwise he had fully healed, with a nice new set of five scars on his upper chest and shoulder.

The cops who'd shot him so unsportingly had been suspended with pay, pending the investigation. It was probably the best that could be hoped for. They might not have been suspended at all if it weren't for the pressure that Roxanne Ritchi had put on the police force. That hadn't escaped his attention. He didn't quite understand why she'd gone to the trouble. Her reporter-istic desire to get to the truth, most likely.

"I wish you'd stuck around when the warden was there." His memory was a little hazy about that meeting. He hoped he hadn't spouted any more sentimental goop.

"Sorry. I was already out the door before I realized he didn't mean me."

Megamind nodded. Understandable. When the warden bellowed "get out!" Megamind nearly made an attempt to get the hell out of there, too. Awfully difficult, overcoming old childhood habits. Not that he'd been a particularly obedient child, but when the old man got that angry it was time to move it.

"Just to refresh my memory, did I really say... did Miss Ritchi... did I really call her..."

"Your sweet angel of mercy? Oh, yeah. You did."

He winced. He'd been desperately hoping that particular bit had been a dream. He also thought he'd used some incredibly foul language, which he normally wouldn't have done in Miss Ritchi's presence. Low class vulgarisms. But that cop was such a prick, and Megamind had not been feeling well at all.

At least he hadn't woken up on the operating table this time. Load of laughs, waking up half way through surgery.

Minion went over the cape with a lint brush. "Sir, have you thought about maybe postponing? You only just got back on your feet."

"Nonsense, Minion. After that deplorable outing? Caught flat-footed, in my pajamas, no less."

"Why didn't you send me on the snack run, Sir? Or one of the brainbots?"

"It was four a.m. You were asleep and I felt like walking."

Minion scoffed. "Since when do you walk?"

"I just felt like walking," Megamind said. "Isn't it allowed?" He'd been very pensive that night, and had been brooding about Roxanne and the whims of fate. A sense of 'who cares?' prompted him to leave the holo-watch behind, which had proven to be a nearly fatal mistake. "That's not important right now. It's imperative I get back in the saddle as soon as possible, to let the riffraff know I'm alive and kicking."

Minion was silent, though he kept brushing. "Don't want to see you laid out again so soon," he murmured.

Megamind tsk-ed. "I won't. In the next glorious battle, it is Metro Mahn who will be laid out, and I will be victorious! Besides, this is just a test run. To make sure that Miss Ritchi is up to speed."

"So as you see, Miss Ritchi, I am back, with even more unspeakably horrific plans for this helpless city."

"Yeah, it's nice to see you up and about."

"Naturally. You can't keep an ee-vil man down."

She nodded. "Yep. You look particularly evil today."

He sighed, and stopped stalking around the chair to which she was bound. "Okay, now, see, that's what I'm talking about. You're humoring me. You never humor me."

She shrugged. "Thought you'd want to ease back into the swing of things."

"But I am fully recovered, Miss Ritchi, as I explicitly stated." He crossed his arms. "This is exactly why we need a test run. You've seen me flat on my back, and now you feel pity or something. I won't stand for this coddling. There's been all this touchy-feely nonsense, and now there's some awkwardness here." He pointed at her, then at himself, several times. "I mean, what's it going to take to get past this?"

She smiled. "A real head scratcher, isn't it?"

He drew himself up into an ee-vil stance. What had been her true intentions, anyway? Once he uncovered her motives, she wouldn't be so calm and assured. "Your little errand of mercy failed, I'm sorry to say."

"I don't like to see anyone in pain, when I can do something about it."

"Ah HA! So you did have an agenda. I admit I was impressed by the way you brazenly invaded the hospital and slipped by the police. Very resourceful. But your attempt to finagle gratitude out of me was an utter failure. Ee-vil is immune to kindness."

"I don't expect anything from you, Megamind."

"Oh no? You didn't sense an opportunity to wrangle a favor out of me?"

"Like what?"

"You thought you might use the incident to pressure me to exact some rev-ahnge against an enemy of yours. A rival newscaster, say, or someone else who stands in your way of advancement."

She laughed. "Are you offering to break someone's kneecaps for me?"

"Nothing so crude as that. Say the word, and your enemy's credit is slashed." What was he saying? Why did he blurt out his assistance? He'd as good as agreed to do her a favor. But he seriously needed to get over this wretched feeling of obligation.

She huffed out a breath in a long sigh. "Haven't you ever done something just because it was the right thing to do?"

"No, I haven't," he said promptly. "I always know what the right thing to do is. I simply choose not to do it." He lifted his chin. "That is, I believe, the very definition of ee-vil. Admit it, you thought if you got me the meds, you'd be able to convince me to let you out of my glorious plans. Trying to dodge the kidnappings, eh?"

She chuckled. "Megamind, I'm not the one feeling awkward. You are."

That stumped him. Damn it, she was right. He ran his hand over one of the computer keyboards. Good God, how was he going to get out of this? He'd have to do something pretty bad to convince her of his evilness.

"I used to wonder how you could keep kidnapping me," she said. "I was sure it meant you were callous and unfeeling, that you didn't know what it was like to be held against your will."

He froze, feeling her gaze on him, but he didn't turn around. She said, "But you do know, don't you. You're held against your will all the time."

He clenched his hand into a fist. "At someone else's mercy. Your life in their hands. Your dignity."

"I guess you've gotten used to it."

He looked up sharply. "I never get used to it," he said. "I just... just deal with it." He realized he was breathing hard. Was that how she felt? Those terrible feelings of helplessness, of powerlessness? That sickening dread that the asshole assigned to guard you might get it into his head to be clever and torment you?

Was that how he made Roxanne feel?

"Minion, release the captive."

"Uhhh, when you say release..."

"Remove the ropes. And give Miss Ritchi a ride home." He clasped his hands behind his back and kept his gaze fixed on the monitors. "And for ee-vil's sake, remember the blindfold. Honestly, do I have to remember everything around here?"

He turned and drew back a little. Roxanne stood before him, hugging her elbows. "Same time next week?"

He glanced around uncertainly. In the background, Minion shrugged. "For what?" he asked, wondering if she was taking him up on his offer to exact rev-ahnge against an enemy. Surely she didn't mean a kidnapping.

She shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Anything. How about a movie?" She looked at Minion. "You guys ever see the new Les Miserables?"

"Have we ever!" Megamind burst out indignantly. "Aptly named!"

"You didn't like it? The music is phenomenal."

"And depressing as... as a really depressing thing! Musicals are supposed to have women in flowery hats and horses flitting about and spontaneous how-downs in the middle of main street."

"Hoe-downs?"

"Yes, those. Musicals aren't supposed to be about relentless, brutal police inspectors, and they're definitely not supposed to feature single mothers forced to sell their teeth and dragged into prostitution and dying of the plague or whatever horrendous medieval disease that was and never getting to see her kid again." He hugged his chest. "What was up with that? It should have a warning label."

"But what about the rest?"

"I stopped watching. I'd seen more than enough."

Minion said, "I wish you would've seen the inn, that 'Master of the House' part? I know you would've liked that, Sir. You should give it another chance, 'cause there's..."

He clapped his hands over his ears. "I'm not listening, I'm not listening! Lalalalalalala..."

Roxanne gently pried one of his hands away, and he lowered both of them. She looked like she was trying not to laugh. "I had no idea you had such strong feelings about musicals. We can pick another movie. Sound good?"

Her hand was still lightly touching his wrist. "Uh, yeah. Yes. Okay. Here? Only you'd have to be blindfolded."

"As long as you don't shove my head in that stinky bag, I think I can handle it."

She even smiled at him over her shoulder as she walked to the invisible car. Sort of a long, lingering look that made his heart flutter. It took a great deal of willpower to give her a casual nod and turn his back. He pretended to study the monitors again, but couldn't make heads or tails out of any of it. His ears strained to hear the sound of her footsteps, and the sounds of the doors opening and closing.

He wondered if she would try to uncover his secrets. He really should be on his guard against that. The only problem was he didn't think he'd mind if she did.