Author Note: Okay. Since Deep Purple (my main story on FanFiction) is on hiatus, I will be writing this until I can gain enough inspiration to get it back on its own two feet.

Well, I watched KonoSuba a few days ago and I found it to be extremely hilarious. Especially Megumin's explosive antics. (=w=)

Since that's so, I decided to try writing a fanfic. By the way, I added some stuff to make the chapter longer because I wasn't satisfied enough with the length. Ah, enough of that. Please enjoy~.

Disclaimer: I don't own KonoSuba, and definitely not implying that I do. This is purely fanfiction and I am certainly not making profit out of this. Don't sue please.

"Explosion!"

Blinding crimson light was followed by a loud boom. This once tranquil and peaceful snow plains has turned into such a catastrophic sight... the ground beneath is visible due to the snow getting either melted or flung into the air by the force of that massive blast wave. Not to mention that giant crater at the center of it, which looked like some gaping hole where demons from hell would come out from.

Had the explosion spell been casted one season earlier, we would have started a wildfire! The thought of starting a wildfire in autumn concerns me quite a lot since hypothetically speaking, the monsters fleeing from the fire might seek refuge near the town of Axel. Which would make people suspicious since usually, monsters don't approach near a human settlement without a proper reason.

Thinking hypothetically, the residents of Axel would then connect the appearance of monster swarms to the burning plains just a few kilos nearby, and then they would connect it to fire, specifically fire magic since it was a place where many adventurers go to in order to grind their levels. The Adventurers' Guild would then send a batch of adventurers to investigate, and they would discover a huge crater with signs of a hasty retreat from a group of 4 people.

Seeing the crater, they would then think of what kind of magic could create such a huge damage to this plains. After a few moments of thinking, they would then think of one thing; explosion magic.

And when you talk about explosions, only one person came to mind. "Ah! The loli explosion maniac Arch-Wizard with a few screws loose!"

In the end, the angry villagers would attack the stable where we're residing with pitchforks and torches in hand and that would be:

"GAME OVER."

Good thing this is all hypothetical. It's certainly hypothetical. Yes, no doubt about it.

...

...

...

...I'll make sure that Megumin doesn't cast explosion near anything flammable when spring comes. Anyway, out of my mind and back to the present.

"Hahaha! Look! I raised a level!" The dark-brown haired Arch-Wizard announced proudly while waving her adventurer card around, even with half of her body buried under the snow.

Oh, did I forgot to mention that she is a useless one-time-use explosion maniac with barely enough mana to cast it and couldn't move from mana exhaustion after casting the damned spell? Ah, you probably already know that, dear readers.

"I can see it! The future! With this many snow fairies being killed, we would get so much money we wouldn't need to sleep on that cold and dirty horse stable anymore! Booze... that's right, alcohol. I'll spend all of the excess money to procure the finest wine appropriate of my stature as the Goddess and indulges myself in endless parties and festivals...!"

Idiot! This former G-something-or-another is an utter idiot who wastes money like water! Hm? Now that I think about it, didn't she said that all of her stats have been maxed out (since she's apparently a Goddess) and couldn't be raised anymore? Wouldn't that mean that her intelligence stat couldn't be increased and would stay the same forever?

An eternal dumbass.

Wow, I'm starting to feel sorry for her. Alright, I'll try to treat her better from now on…

"…? What's with that unnatural look of pity on your face, Kazuma?" The blue haired Aqua asked with a curious look.

"It's nothing. You don't have to worry about anything anymore." I patted her shoulder several times.

"I don't quite get it, but stop looking at me like I'm some hopeless worthless object! A hikiNEET like you don't have the right to pity others. Rather, you should be ashamed of yourself you worthless bum!"

"Why you-!" After pushing the former G-ness-something's delicate body down and struggling against her on the frosty ground for some time, I emerged victorious and made her apologize to all the NEETs and hikikomoris she had insulted (albeit reluctantly and somewhat forced).

Ah, if you're wondering about Darkness, she seems to be enjoying herself from the fact that we haven't been paying any attention to her at all since we arrived here. Just look at her beet red blushing face and the way she pants heavily while muttering, "S-Such intense ignorance play...!"

Yeah, let's just leave her alone. She's happier that way anyway.

Suddenly, Aqua stood up and gained some distance from me. Don't think that you can escape-...

As I was about to chase after her, my Sense Enemy skill suddenly went off which is strange considering that all of the nearby snow fairies had been exterminated.

Soundlessly, a large form shadowed over me.

Turning my neck and staring upwards from the ground where I'm lying down on, my head was overflowed by awe.

Such a grand, mighty figure. I thought out of nowhere. But you couldn't really blame me for thinking so.

Its head is covered by pure white helmet, and the armor it wears resembles the one I've seen many times in Japanese historical dramas I watched on TV when the internet connection was lagging. Clenched within its grasps is the hilt of a dazzling katana, a weapon unfamiliar by this world's standard. This is... the existence I don't think I would ever encounter when hunting snow fairies on a certain chilly winter day.

Simply speaking, a menacing, snow white shogun.

"It's here, it's here, it's here!" Darkness (who was subjected to the ignorance play until now) chanted the sentence while swinging her sword around excitedly.

Megumin, who was acting very energetic just few seconds ago, is now lifelessly lying down while trying to conceal her breathing. Isn't she playing dead?! She is, right?!

"…Kazuma. Let me tell you why the adventurers don't take on quests in the winter." With a melodious voice befitting that of a Goddess, the immensely useless Arch-Priest of our 4 member adventurer party took a slow step back synchronizing with the snow white shogun's heavy step as it moved its feet forward.

"Jack Frost; one of the special monsters with a high bounty set by the nation. Jack Frost is the fairy of winter… Fairies don't have a material body. It manifests itself according to the unconscious descriptions and images of the people it meets. The fairy of fire would turn into a violent salamander according to 'the desire to engulf everything in flames'. The fairy of water reminds people of the young, beautiful and sensible goddess of water, so they would manifest themselves as a young girl… But the fairy of winter is a bit special alright? In the winter with dangerous monsters all around, even adventurers won't leave their homes, so few people have met the fairy of winter… That's right, except for the bunch of cheaters who were transported here from Japan."

"Wait, waiiit. So you're saying that the fairy of winter took the form of a shogun because some idiot you send from Japan was thinking something along the lines of, 'If it's winter, then it isn't perfect without the mighty katana wielding Jack Frost that could 1-hit-KO weak adventurers'?! Dammit, why didn't you told me that such a high-class monster would appear in the first place?!"

Shrugging my complaints with a simple wave of her hand, Aqua told me that I never asked. T-This bitch…! I shouldn't have taken that suspiciously easy-sounding job with a huge amount of rewards!

What should I do? Try to defeat it? Just looking at the sharp katana it wields with killing intent bring chill to the back of my neck. Let alone beat it, I don't think I can even survive a blow from that thing!

"Grahhh!" Along with a loud battle cry, Darkness swiftly slammed her sword at the Jack Frost, who countered with an upper slash of its drawn katana.

With a cracking sound, surprisingly, Darkness sword broke. What's with that attack power?! It could even break Darkness' sword!

"Kazuma, listen to me! Jack Frost is a merciful being! If you apologize properly, it would let us go!"

Aqua said as she knelt in the snow covered plains in a hurry.

"Prostrate! Prostrate yourself quick! Everyone throw your weapons away! Apologize! Hurry up Kazuma, apologize!"

The depraved Goddess threw away the last ounce of her pride and pressed her head against the frozen ground while motioning for the others to follow.

As I followed suit and grinded my forehead against the cold, hard ground, I realized that I'm still clutching onto my sword.

I threw the sword in my right hand away in a hurry.

I was panicking, so my head left the snowy ground—

What I saw was Jack Frost holding the sheathed blade with its left hand.

Jack Frost pushed the blade out with the thumb of its left hand, revealing a glimpse of white steel.

This was known as the 'Iai stance'.

Jack Frost's right hand which was empty swung out in an instance.

I heard a clinking sound.

That was the sound of a blade being sheathed.

As I listened to that sound, I was baffled by why my gaze which I accidentally lifted up was falling towards the snowy ground-...

A room. I am sitting in a dark, yet illuminated room. This seat I'm presently using... it gives me a very comfy feeling.

"Satou Kazuma-san." Raising my head, I come face to face with a beautiful girl long silvery hair, and bright blue eyes akin to the vast sky.

Ah, I think I figured it out. This place...

...is the afterlife.

It was severed.

I saw it clearly, and I don't think that I could ever erase that scene out of my memory even if I had someone cast memory manipulation spell on me.

It was severed and is lying on the ground a few meters away from his body.

That's right. Kazuma's head was severed by the Jack Frost.

Kazuma died.

Died.

He died.

Kazuma did.

He did.

He actually did.

Kazuma were killed right in front of my eyes. His life was cruelly taken by the monster wordlessly and yet… I couldn't do anything.

I abruptly learned of the how significant, and weightless a life in this world is. Many people die every day, be it your friends, family, lover or complete strangers. Life isn't cheap, but they are unexpectedly fleeting. Like an extravagant ship sailing on the sea. It might be expensive, but it doesn't mean that it couldn't sink.

I was supposed to be the number one magician of the Crimson Mazoku clan. Defeating a boss-class monster or two shouldn't be all that much trouble for me, I remember boasting cockily at Kazuma just yesterday and yet… what use does that pointless pride of mine has?

The answer is none.

This is all my fault. If only I hadn't casted that explosion magic on those snow fairies just now. If only I learned advanced magic that could be used multiple times instead of the unreasonably bloated explosion magic. If only I listened to Kazuma instead of being stubborn and learnt more useful spells, then the situation might not turn out like this.

But it is useless. Futile. There is no purpose to this silly monologue. Can you guess why? Because Kazuma is already dead, of course. I can't turn back time no matter how much I wished I could.

"People die when they are killed." I remembered my neighbor back at the Crimson Mazoku village who was always saying that. I think it his name was Emiya-san… he called himself, 'The Blacksmith Hero of Unlimited Blade Works'. Leaving aside my praise for his cool and awe-inspiring name, I didn't realize how true his words were until I saw it with my own eyes. How naïve of me.

I may not be able to save Kazuma. I may not be able to cast another Explosion. And there's no way that I could defeat the Jack Frost.

But…

...With tears running down my face, even without enough mana to stand on my own two feet, I forced my hand forward and reached for my staff.

"This is... the afterlife, is it not?" I asked silently. Seeing the Goddess (I presume?) in front of me nods, I'm suddenly filled with an indescribable emotion. Is this what they call melancholy?

"Satou-san, you've lived through such a harsh live. I've been watching you from this room for quite some time, and compared to others that have been sent to that world, your life are the most miserable." Well, with those girls messing around and making troubles for me, of course it would be.

"...Say, I already died once. Now I've died twice. What are going to happen to me?" I stared at the graceful figure of the silver haired Goddess with... hope? No, that can't be. There's no way that I want her to say that I can be revived back into that world-...

"According to the Heaven's law, people who had already reincarnated once cannot be brought back to the world they're transferred into once they've died. This law applies without exception to everyone, including Satou-san unfortunately."

"Ahhh. I see. That's a relief then. I don't know about others, but there's no way that I'd go back to that world. Every day is like hell, suffering just to get a few hundred Eris to eat and pay the rent of that dirty stable filled with horse apples. Fighting monsters are extremely had due to me bringing that good for nothing Goddess Aqua instead of asking for a cheat item like a rail gun with infinite ammo or the holy sword Excalibur. She attracts undead just by being around, and despite being an Arch-Priest, I've never actually been healed by her! Not. Even. Once. Seriously, why do I have to clean up after your mess every day?! That useless good for nothing alcoholic and party goers should just scram! My other party mates are mostly useless too. That Darkness, or should I call her Eroness! Despite being a Crusader, she can't even hit a stationary log right in front of her eyes! She's clumsy, and a masochist to boot! The only redeeming quality about the girl is her slutty body! Don't make me talk about that loli chuunibyou! Despite being an Arch-Wizard, the only spell she could cast is explosion! Explosion, explosion, explosion... would you thought about the one who would have to carry you back because you can't move after casting it for once?! Sure, it's destructive enough to defeat a boss-monster, but what's the use if you don't even have enough mana to cast it twice?! Also, did I mention that I have to put extra effort in running from monsters compared to the other two useless member of the party since I have to carry extra baggage?! Argh, this is so frustrating!"

The Goddess who have been silently listening to me complain gradually closed the distance between us and...

...wiped the tears that apparently have been flowing out of my eyes without me noticing at all.

"W-Why am I... crying?"

Dustiness fon Lalatina, the one and only daughter of the high and noble Dustiness family. Or rather, the Crusader Darkness as I am known by my adventurer party mates. I-It's not like I hide my true name because I'm bothered by people calling me by my name L-Lalatina and calling it c-cute or anything like that, okay?! People just acts differently when they found out that I am of noble blood, is all.

Unlike other noble daughters, I am granted with an unnaturally high amount of freedom by my father, which leads to my desire to become an adventurer and the development of my... somewhat peculiar fetishes.

I have a strong class, which is Crusader. However, I found it difficult to aim or hit at my enemies and most adventurers shunned me and gave me the title, 'Durable Woman with Zero Accuracy'.

Nevertheless, I keep on trying and eventually found an adventurer party that was willing to accept me. For the first time in my life, I managed to make multiple friends in a row. There's the irresponsible and mischievous Aqua, the down-to-Earth Megumin and finally that pervert Scumzuma. Despite not contributing much in the fights (though I'm too embarrassed to admit it myself) I was happy to stand in front of everyone and tank the attacks of monsters… because it feels really good.

That said, a memory of a certain day inside the Church of Eris, flashed in my mind.

Back then, I was just a rookie adventurer who just registered, but then found out that I met the requirements to choose the class Crusader. Thus, I was brought to a church where I frequently visit and was bestowed the title of Crusader.

At that moment, I thanked the Goddess of Fortune Eris and swore an oath:

"For as long as I live, I shall devote myself to protect the innocent and powerless and most importantly, the people dear to me."

...That oath, why did I promise something that I couldn't keep? Don't bother with the innocent and the powerless, I can't even protect Kazuma who is right in front of me. What a useless thing, these hands of mine.

These hands that couldn't even hold the thing I thought as dear properly... wouldn't it be better if they were cut off and thrown away?

...No, not yet. There is still something I must done using these filthy hands first.

I threw the hilt of my broken sword away and hastily picked up the sword Kazuma threw before he was beheaded.

Then I charged at the Jack Frost.

"You actually liked the adventures you've experienced with together with those girls, didn't you?" The clear words coming out of the Goddess' thin and sensual lips struck my heart like needles. She's right... despite me complaining about my life as an adventurer short moments ago, I don't actually think that the live I've experienced so far is bad.

Actually, it's... pretty fun.

I want to experience more adventures with my adventurer party, raise my level, collect more money, go to raid a dungeon... wait, wouldn't it be bad if Megumin casted Explosion and the dungeon collapsed? I actually let out a chuckle out of my mouth while imagining such stupidity, before the feeling flowed away quietly and my mind is filled with deep sadness.

"Since I can't go back to that world, where would I be sent to now? Please don't tell me that I'd simply disappear."

"No, no. You won't disappear. Rather, you should be reincarnated back to Japan as the person you wish... be it a baby in a wealthy and harmonious family or as Satou Kazuma back at your old family. You could receive your most desired life, and Heaven would grant it as long as it's not too excessive." Hearing that, I feel a bit relieved. At least, the reincarnated me won't be going through as much trouble as the current me.

Hmm, I wonder about that too excessive part. Like being the dictator (lol) of a nation filled only with women or something like that? Oh well.

Well then, it's about time. I raised myself up from my seat and approached the Goddess.

Aqua, the Goddess of Water. The object of worship of the Axis cult. One day, a black haired man appeared inside the Goddess' room. He seems to be lost and have died with a silly cause; shock from thinking that he was hit by a truck. I laughed at him.

I played him for a fool, but somehow… he managed to bring me, a Goddess, with him to a fantasy world.

I panicked, not sure what to do since I couldn't go back to Heaven before defeating the Demon King. A lot of things happened plus we gained companions on the way and also encountered troubles, but I think it all worked up in the end.

That is, until that stupid Kazuma got his empty head slashed off by the Jack Frost. Seriously, you're such a pain.

"Sigh, it couldn't be helped. I'll revive him later after it left…you better be grateful to have such a useful Goddess with you, hikiNEET Kazuma. Hey, Darkness, what are you doing…? Stop! Why are you running towards the Jack Frost?! Listen, I can revive Kazuma with magic-... I said hold on! Hey, listen to me for once!"

Darkness ignored my words, probably deaf to reason because of rage and charged straight at Jack Frost and gave a heavy thrust using Kazuma's sword. The sword was reflected easily and immediately break, and Darkness herself were thrown a few meters away by the blow but at that small chance...

"Ex... plo... sion...!" Megumin, who should be out of mana, is on her knees and chanted the explosion spell.

I could feel something being channeled into her magic staff, and I'm pretty sure that it's not mana.

No no no, that's definitely not mana... i-it's her life force!

"Megumin, no-!"

With the most dazzling explosion I've ever seen in my entire life, the petite girl of the Crimson Mazoku clan burned her life away as fuel in order to melt the Jack Frost, the snow, the earth, I dare to say that it even tried to melt winter itself.

It was such a brilliant sight, but nothing lasts forever. Even the most beautiful spark, will slowly, slowly... fade away.

The light gradually dimmed away. No sound could be heard in the desolate plains. As silence took residence once more, I stared at the crater where the Jack Frost and Kazuma's corpse used to be.

I found nothing but ashes. I could revive Kazuma if there were at least his corpse, but if his body was incinerated...

My eyes shifted to Darkness, who seemed to be fine besides some minor burns and glanced at the last person I have to check.

Megumin...

Usually, when someone died out of unnatural causes like monster or bandit attacks, they could be revived if their body is intact and not too much time have passed. But burning your life force is similar to quickening your aging.

Simply said, Megumin quickened her aging by fueling her life force to the point of being an old granny… no, she used all of it out and her body have already crumbled into dust. I am unable to revive her because of that.

Why is this happening I wonder. If only they listened to me more...

Kazuma...

How am I supposed to go back to Heaven now...

"I will open the gate back to Japan now. Just think of your most desired wish when crossing the door, and Heaven shall grant it." I nodded at her words, and paused for a short moment.

"Now that I think about it, I never asked for your name." The Goddess laughed wryly and scratched her right cheek then answered with a smile.

"It's Eris." Seeing her scratching her right cheek sheepishly like that, my heart just skipped a beat.

"E-Eris-san, huh. I see. Thank you for sending me off." I-I even stuttered while calling her name. Is this the so-called 'love-at-first-sight'?! That can't be, right? I'm not that kind of cheap guy who would get his heart won over by a woman who showed some signs of affection to him… now that I think about it, she actually sympathize with my death and miserable life. No one have ever cared about me so much before, she's a real Goddess… unlike that fake one in my party.

"No no, it's simply my job. Farewell, Satou-san." She waved her right hand gently at me and uttered softly.

I wonder what's happening on the other side… are they fine? They didn't get wiped out by the winter shogun, did they? I hope not. Wait, why am I worrying about those girls?

"…" I decided to stop thinking about that and faced Eris-san once more. Seeing her lovely smile calmed my mind down.

"Please lead a happy and peaceful life." I was touched by her words. I hope I can meet her again, but that's impossible from the look of it. I'm about to be reincarnated after all.

"Thank you."

I wish to live in a rich family. I want three sisters. The first one nice and gentle, the other cool and collected, the last one being a cute imouto. I want to have a pretty osananajimi who would wake me up in the morning, a petite kouhai and an erotic teacher. I don't know if this is getting too excessive or not, but I also wish for two hot step-mothers-!

As I wished strongly and was about to cross the gate, at that crucial moment, a shrill voice I've gotten used to hearing resounded from behind me.

"Kazuma! Where is this? Hey, where do you think you're going?!" I heard a series of hasty footsteps and felt something small pushing me from behind. My body tilted forward and as I passed through to the other side, I forgot about the wish I had just now. Instead, I thought of this:

"Uwah, now that I think about it, I've always wanted a loli girlfriend-..."