Almost done with this one but I'm too anxious to share it with you all to hold back anymore. I may publish once a week or slower than that, but I really like this one. A lot. It's different. I hope you enjoy!

**THEN**

Lizzy doesn't hesitate. She doesn't second guess. She does exactly what she promised, exactly what she's been itching to do for so long.

With every ounce of hatred she has in her for Dick Roman and what the Leviathan have done to her and her family, she thrusts the bone straight through his gut.

The surprised face Dick shows, undoubtedly there because he now realizes that the weapon was real and Crowley cheated him, has the triumphant feeling deep in Lizzy's heart grow quickly. She did it.

Looking him right in the eyes, still holding the hilt of the weapon, Lizzy growls out, "I promised you I'd kill you, you fucking piece of shit."

Waves of energy, pulsating hard, emanate from Dick's body. A loud heartbeat is heard accompanying each pulse, the speed of them picking up quickly.

Then suddenly it's quiet for just a second. Dick Roman's eyes connects with Lizzy's. He smiles, laughing as he knows what's about to happen and this won't be the last laugh for her. He's getting the last laugh. He's bring her along for the ride of a lifetime.

The explosion happens in a flash, Dick's form turning to black goo that splashes out and coats the entire room. Sam tries to cover Lou and Kevin, turning his back to it all last second.

And then… silence. Calm. Stillness. Once the explosion happens everything changes.

Sam straightens up and looks around the room. Black goo covers everything, including all the people in it. Sam Lou, Kevin… and that's it.

Exhaling hard once, panic hitting him as he looks around the empty room.

"What the fuck?" Lou quietly asks while standing next to him, both slowly starting to realize what's actually happened here.

Kevin finds his voice when he knows they have to flee. "Sam, we should go. Now."

"What the hell?" Sam asks, the full anxious alarm clear in his tone.

"Where the fuck is she!?" Lou falls into true fear.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"Is she in Purgatory!?" Sam panics, asking again as he steps closer to Lou. She doesn't stop pacing. He grabs her shoulders and forces her to look at him. "Is she!?"

Lou just nods yes.

"Oh god…." Sam huffs a few harsh breaths as they come to terms with the sudden situation. "We can't go get her. Or Cass."

"We can't open the door to that place," Lou agrees. "We're in this situation because it was opened in the first place."

"I know," Sam nods, his mind empty with solutions. "What the fuck do we do? We can't let her rot in there…."

"Yes we can. We have to," Lou's face changes.

Lou starts to crumble and he sees it happening. Sam moves closer and grabs her shoulders, getting her attention. "What do we do?"

"We lie," Lou begrudgingly says, hating this plan. "We lie to him. We have to."

Sam just closes his eyes, not ready to start lying to his brother about anything, especially something this big.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"Wake up."

The voice, one she hasn't heard sounding so stern in so long, cuts through the haze in her head. She comes to, eyes blinking open. The darkness surrounds her as she looks up to the sky, leafless trees peeking into her line of vision from the edges. Suddenly, Castiel's face appears above her, looking hard at her.

"Good. We need to get out of here."

"What?" Lizzy asks, still completely lost as to what happened.

Castiel reaches a hand down to her and she takes it. He hauls her to her feet as her mind flies. They killed Dick, she knows that much. He exploded, black goo everywhere… and then she woke up hearing Castiel's voice while lying on the ground.

Eyes sweeping their surroundings, Lizzy asks, "Where are we?"

Castiel's head cocks to the side as he peers around them, his eyes constantly on the lookout. He seems tense and on edge. "You don't know?

"Last I remember, we ganked Dick," Lizzy admits, her heart beginning to pound hard with confusion.

"And where would he go in death?" Castiel challenges, dropping her hand and sharply looking towards a sound made off to the right of him.

Her heart freezes over, icy in her chest. Fear unlike she's ever felt before envelopes her entre being. "Wait… does that mean we're...?"

"Every soul here is a monster." Castiel turns sharply again when something rustles the leaves of a tree right next to them. "This is where they come to prey upon each other for all eternity."

"Purgatory?" she sputters the word, afraid to actually say it. "We're… we're in Purgatory?"

"Shit, Cass. I think we better…." She turns back to the angel but finds empty air instead. "Cass?"

Her form is frozen. She's alone.

"Cass!?"

Nothing. He's gone. He ditched her alone in the land of monsters.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Dean's head sharply turns to Sam, eyes wild with need for explanation.

"We need to talk," Sam tells his brother, the entire thing already eating him up inside.

"Where is she?" Dean asks, his voice small and scared.

"Dean, let's just go inside and talk," Lou asks of him.

"Where is she!?" Dean shouts, already knowing something went severely wrong and the fear wins over.

"Dean…."

"Don't do that!" Dean yells at his brother. "No bullshit! Where's L!?"

"She killed Dick," Lou blurts out. "She did exactly what she said she would."

"Then why isn't she in the car with you?" Dean dangerously asks, tone low.

"She… didn't make it out," Sam says, his eyes glancing at Lou quickly. This was what they agreed on. Dean has to think she's dead in order to keep the entire world safe and keep Purgatory closed. "She fought hard but… she just, she didn't make it."

Dean's face gets angry. "Are you telling me that the two of you made it out but L didn't?"

"Cass didn't either," Sam mentions. "They both didn't."

Dean walks away a bit, making an aimless circle. He knots his fingers together at the back of his head, His back to the two of them as he attempts to process and understand what's happening.

Lizzy didn't make it.

Lizzy's gone.

L is dead.

He shakes his head. "No." Dean turns back to them, tears threatening to spill over from his watery eyes. "No fucking way. Lizzy wouldn't do that. She said she'd come back."

"Dean, I'm sorry…."

"Shut up, Sam!" Dean points harshly at his brother. "She said she'd be back! L wouldn't leave Sammy like this!"

"She didn't want to," Lou tells him, her voice small and eyes wet. "You know she didn't. Dean… she and Cass did the impossible. They saved the fucking world. Sammy gets live a good, real life now…."

"Yeah… without his mother," Dean fires back, anger coursing through him. He stares Lou down as the first tear makes it way down his cheek. His chin quivers once and he storms off, aiming for the cabin.

Lou and Sam watch helplessly at the door gets yanked open, hitting the outside of the cabin with huge force. Dean marches inside and disappears.

"Shit," Lou cries out. "This feels so wrong."

"I know," Sam says to her, keeping his composure amid those that can't. He pulls her in and holds her tight as she cries again, the knowledge of what Lizzy's doing and where she is crushing her. "We're doing the right thing."

"I hate this," Lou tells him, jumping afterwards with the sound of glass smashing in a loud burst from inside the house.

**NOW**

"Alright, you fucking morons…" Lou says to the two gruff, flannel and canvas clad hunters sitting on stools at the old bar. She slaps a manila file folder that's overflowing with unorganized scraps of paper and pictures onto the bar top. She then slides it across to their side with narrowed eyes. "I just saved your dumb asses once again so you better make sure you pay your tab in full before you leave tonight."

"Saved our asses?" one of the two men asks with disbelief.

"Yeah, saved 'em, Roy. Because you two numb nuts aren't after a revenant," Lou smugly tells them, taking their empty beer bottles from them and tossing them into the glass bin behind the bar. "You're after a zombie."

"What!?" Walt disbelieves, flipping through the case file they made for her to look at. "I swear it's not a zombie…."

"It is," she assures with an air of superiority. She knows she's right and she's knows she's good. "And you should listen to me… or did you two not learn a damn thing from the last time I saved your hides?"

They remain quiet. She did in fact save them last time. They didn't know how to manage the case they ran into in the middle of Yellowstone just months before. Once quick call to Lou's outpost and they got their answer, escaping a finished hunt alive while only superficially roughed up by a wendigo.

"But a headshot didn't work," Roy mentions, still reading through his own research for what he didn't catch onto.

"And you need to stop watching so much Walking Dead," Lou laughs a little, leaning onto her elbows on the bar and looking straight across at the men. "Headshots only work if the dead have been risen a certain way. More often than not, a headshot does nothing but slow a zombie down for a little bit… if the bullet's silver."

"So… what do we do?" Walt wants to know.

"First, you start keeping a fucking journal! Everything you learn, whether from your own experience or from someone else, you write it down so I don't have to do all this work for you next time," she says with disdain for the lazy men, pulling out an old drawing she photo copied from Bobby's backup library from the manila folder. In it is a depiction of a man with a skeleton face being staked into a coffin. "Second, you get yourselves a couple silver stakes. You gotta stab him through in his own death bed."

"How do we know where this zombie's coffin is?" Walt asks.

Lou stares at him with a serious face for a beat. "What do I look like? Google? Do some fucking research, you deadbeats!"

They both sigh and groan a little with the idea.

"Now, last I checked…." Lou pauses and grabs a ledger from under the register behind the bar. She plops it onto the bar, flips a few pages, and announces, "You two owe me a solid two-twenty-eight in cheap beer and cheaper whiskey shots. How you racked that up in the few months we've been open I'll never understand but that's the number. Pay up before you leave."

"Hard ass," Walt complains as he pulls out his wallet from his back pocket.

"You know it, honey," Lou winks, grabbing her ass in a show of just how hard her ass is before walking away for a bar rag. As she starts to wipe down the bar after a long night that's coming to a close the phone on the wall by the old register rings. She runs to answer it. "Roadhouse."

"Hey."

"Aw, my favorite man," Lou cheers a bit when she hears Sam's voice. She leans sideways into the wall and watches Roy and Walt count their money for her. "What's happening? You coming to help close?"

"No, not tonight," Sam tells her. "Just wondering when you'll be home."

"Well, it was a quiet night so not too late," she says, looking around. Just Roy and Walt now getting up and waving goodbye to her along with three other local men in the back corner finishing up a card game after she told them it was last call a few minutes ago.

"Good," Sam says. "It's been too quiet around here today."

"Where's Dean?" she asks with worry.

"You know… doing whatever he does when he leaves for the night."

Lou bites her tongue. Dean thinks Lizzy's dead so he can do what he needs to in order to get by. She just wishes he'd stay home with his family instead. "So, you're playing babysitter?"

"Yeah, but Sammy's been down for a while," Sam tells her. "I was hoping for some more adult company."

She grins wide. "I can help with that."

"I'm sure you can," Sam laughs a little. "Nothing new over there?"

"Well… a couple hunters passed through, needed some help on a case."

"What kind of help?"

"Uh, they had a weird one. Thought they were dealing with a revenant but I knew better."

"What was it?"

"Zombie. Super obvious."

"How does a hunter not know how to deal with a zombie?"

"I blame Robert Kirkman," Lou smirks. "Though, honestly, I'm surprised Walt and Roy are still alive at this point. Those idiots should be long dead by now."

There's a pause on the other end. "Who?"

"Walt and Roy? A couple older dudes, been doing this for a while…."

"Are they still there!?" Sam sounds angry out of nowhere.

"They just finally paid their long overdue bar tab and left. Why?"

"Shit!" Sam exhales hard. "Remember I told you about a couple hunters that tracked Dean and I down years back? They killed us and Lizzy because they knew about the whole demon blood thing. We went to heaven but not before Dean threatened revenge on them?"

"Uh. Kinda…."

"Yeah, well, that's them."

Lou inhales hard, the audacity running through her system. "Those assholes! They fucking know who I'm with!"

"Probably," Sam agrees.

"And they still came into my bar and got my help!? Those mother fuckers!" Lou growls furious into the phone. "I'm gonna kill them!"

"Lou!"

"No one tries to fucking kill my husband but me!" Lou grits out and drops the phone, not even bothering to hang up. She rushes to the loaded shotgun under the bar and cocks it once. She then sprints for the front door.

Bursting out into the night, she watches as taillights from a beat-up old pickup start to fade in the short distance.

"You fuckers!" she shouts after them and aims. She takes a shot and manages to shatter their back windshield. "You think I wouldn't find out!?"

The driver, either Walt or Roy, hits the brakes for a second with the shocking turn of events and she takes aim again while marching for their car.

"You come into my bar, ask for my help… and you're the assholes that shot my family!?" she screams after them, shooting again. She gets their left brake light, shards littering her parking lot entrance. She doesn't want to shoot them from behind and kill them, no. She wants them out of the car so she can kill them face to face. She knows the story of what they did and revenge sounds pretty damn good about now. "Get out of the fucking car!"

Instead they peel out and don't confront her. They wouldn't be the only ones to fear Lou. She's got a reputation in the community these days. She's the bad ass bitch with the dive bar that all hunters are welcome in… as long as they act according to her rules.

"Cowardly pussies," Lou says and spits on the ground. "I'll fucking find you. Someday. Mark my fucking words…."

Quickly walking back into the bar, Lou looks to the men in the back corner as she retakes her place behind the bar. "Hey guys. You might wanna bounce." She reloads her shotgun and puts it back in place. "Cops'll be here in a few minutes."

"What'd you go do this time, Louie?" one of the men asks lightly with a smile, clearing up the cards.

"Just trying to clean the scum off the streets as always, Ern," she smirks and winks at him. "Pony up before you go, huh? I keep running tabs for your broke asses and I won't be able to keep the lights on anymore."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Pete brushes her off jokingly as he places the card pack and the cribbage board on the shelf on the wall by their usual table. They then make their way to the bar to pay her.

"Thanks, boys," she says, picking up the phone receiver she left on the bar. "See you Friday?"

"As always," Ernie grins, slapping money onto the bar and the three men walk out.

Lou raises the phone to her ear. "Sorry 'bout that, honey."

"What did you do?" Sam wonders.

"Nothing," she innocently claims.

"What did you do, Lou?" he asks again, knowing she's lying.

"Alright, so I might have tried to shoot them…."

"Lou!"

"They deserved it!"

"And the cops are just gonna get pissed at you!" Sam reminds her. "They're gonna shut you down if this keeps up."

"Hey! I wasn't the one firing off rounds last time!" Lou excuses. Some hunters had played a game of poker, handguns put into the pot to raise the stakes. The winner wanted to test his new Colt out… indoors.

"But it's still your bar!" Sam reminds. "Just… take it easy, ok? We've invested a lot into that place for you to just lose it. No more guns."

"Unless I have to," Lou adds in the caveat.

Sam just sighs at that. "What are you gonna tell the cops?"

"If it's the lovely Officer Jepson then I'll tell him the truth," Lou reminds him of the police officer on their side.

"And if it's any of the other officers from the sheriff's department?" he challenges her.

"You mean the other two?" Lou laughs. The town they live in is so small that the entire police force isn't all that large.

"Lou…."

"Ok, ok," she rolls her eyes again with his warning tone. "I'll come up with something. I always do."

"This town hates your bar already."

"Because they're small townies."

"No. It's because you always bring trouble."

Lou sighs. "Well, too bad. If it wasn't for this bar some of those annoyed townies wouldn't be alive."

"We should have moved to a bigger town… or a city," Sam comments.

"Very true," Lou agrees totally while catching the sound of sirens in the distance, growing closer quite rapidly. "But here we're smack in the middle of the country. What better place for a hunter's outpost?"

Sam just sighs.

"I gotta go," Lou tells him, the police car arriving out front.

"Don't get arrested," Sam asks of her.

"Get my bail money ready," Lou jokes and hangs up, heading for the front door right away. She walks out front and relaxes once she finds Officer Jepson getting out of his cruiser. "Mike!"

"Crap on a God damned cracker, Lou," he complains immediately. "What now?'

"I was just getting rid of some pests," she shrugs innocently. She then crosses her arms over her chest and deepens her cleavage. Tight jeans and a low cut shirt do wonders for more than just her tip jar.

"And I'm sure that will go over well as an excuse with the sheriff after a call comes in about shots fired at the Roadhouse," Jepson bitches. "I mean, I can only lie so many times for you before it becomes obvious, Lou."

"I know, and I'm sorry," she says, grabbing his arm. "Honestly, I had some unsavory characters come through here and they needed to get out of town. For the safety of the community."

"Don't act like you're doing my job, ok?" Jepson tells her, pulling her hand off his arm as he looks to the bar, checking around.

"Relax, Sam's not here," she laughs at him.

Jepsen just eyes her hard. "Alright, what do I tell the sheriff?"

"I was shooting the rats on my property," Lou suggests.

"That's what I told them the first time."

"And they came back!"

"Lou…."

"I have a permit for the gun," Lou reminds him. "And this is my property. It was after hours, I was the only one here… what can they do besides tell me to not do it again?"

Jepson shakes his head. "Fine."

"Thanks, Mike," she smirks and kisses his cheek before walking for the front door of the bar.

"I know you saved my life once before and all, but soon you're gonna run out of favors from me!"

"Okay!" Lou ignores the warning and heads inside, knowing he'll never stop helping her. The vamp nest that came through town nearly used him for dinner. She stopped them. He'll always have a place in his heart for her now.

Another crisis averted and Lou stands in the front doorway, looking over her bar. It's dirty, she needs to wipe down the table tops and pick up the empties littered about, but it's hers. Her bar. Her way of being still attached to the hunting world without being a hunter. Her husband was a smart man when he bought her this place for cheap.

The refinished wood, the repairs and coats of new paint, and the old place isn't half bad. It's still a bit of a dive, no families are coming here to hang, but it's her little piece of the pie. It's her compromise between hunting and living the straight and narrow.

Before going off to clean and shut down for the night, Lou looks to her left. On the wall are several framed pictures of all the hunters she and the Winchesters have lost through the years. Ellen and Jo are marked prominently by the door with the biggest photo of the bunch, the bar being in honor of what Ellen once did for the community.

But the one she always looks to is the one of Bobby in front of the sign at his salvage yard and home. She misses him so much and still thinks of him every single day. They all do.

"I did good, sensei," she bows jokingly to the picture before grabbing her bar rag and getting to work.

This is the fifth time he's done this and Dean's not about to give up.

Settling into the motel room one small town over from Smith Center, the place Dean, Lou, Sam, and Sammy have called home for a year now, he prepares to brew up the very special cup of very disgusting tasting tea.

"L, you better be sleeping this time," he mutters to himself mostly as he pulls a few long strands of hair from one of Lizzy's old hairbrushes. "I'm running out of parts of you."

Once she was gone he kept everything she had been traveling around with in her duffle. He barely went through it, kept everything in it just as she left it, and he's brought it with them everywhere they go out of habit. For some reason it gives him comfort, he still doesn't know why.

The electric kettle he bought with him boils up some water while set on the old, dusty desk in the room and he pours it into the chipped mug with an 'UMass Amherst' logo on the side that already has some very specific roots in it. He then drops some of Lizzy's hair into the mug and takes a seat at the foot of the queen bed in the dingy room.

"Fifth times the charm," Dean hopes to himself as he swirls the cup and steeps the awful tasting yet powerful tea. He found a shop in Illinois that had an unadvertised, under-the-radar deal on dreamroot. Ever since, he's gotten Sam to watch his son for a night now and then and he disappears. His brother and Lou probably assume the worst, like he's going out to bang strange for the night in order to dull the pain of his loss, but he's not.

Instead, he's trying to contact his lost wife.

He says 'lost' a lot these days, not dead. He doesn't think Lizzy's actually dead anymore. Sure, Dean knows what Sam and Lou told him once they returned from killing Dick. Lizzy died. The weapon exploded, she and Cass were too close to it, and they went up with Dick. There was nothing left of either of them.

But he knows, deep in his soul, that there's everything left of his wife. He can just feel it.

When Dean and Lizzy had first been together they'd found that they had an odd connection. Lizzy could literally feel him at times, feel his emotions when they were really strong, feel his pain when he was very hurt. It was all a part of the Nephilim bloodline paired with the fact that they are soulmates.

But now Dean's felt her pain on rare occasions. One day it hit him hard, right in the side, and he thought he was dying. Nothing on his skin, no wound to be seen, he felt like he was cut wide open and bleeding out. It lasted days. And at a few points he's felt her emotional pain when it gets too strong, the loss and longing and utter sadness. He's even had bouts of missing his own son to such a desperate, frightening point… all while Sammy was in his lap at the time, or in the next room. It didn't make any sense… unless he was feeling his wife's emotions.

Dean can just sense it deep in his heart that Lizzy is alive and that these odd experiences are just her reaching out to him, connecting to him. And now he's desperate to reach out to her in return.

He has no idea where she is. Heaven, Hell… who knows? But he has to find her, talk to her, find out where she is, and bring her back. He just needs to time it out right and pray that wherever she is she still needs to sleep.

"Here goes nothing," Dean tips his cup a bit before slugging it all down in one go to avoid as much of the bitter, horrid taste as he can. "Ugh. Worse every time."

Quickly, Dean places the cup onto the nightstand and pulls a picture out of his back jeans pocket. Looking down at the picture, smiling a little when he gets a load of himself with Sammy sitting on his lap in a park, both grinning brightly and happily, Dean concentrates on the photo as he starts to go under, knowing that if he focuses hard enough on it he can bring it with him in his dream walk.

Blinking slowly once, Dean lifts his eyelids to find the motel room gone. Instead, he's surrounded by thick woods. The scene is calm, quiet, almost serene. The leaves rustle with a slight wind and he looks upward. It's daytime, he knows that, but the sepia, old tone that cloaks the place gives it an eerie and unwelcoming feeling. He's immediately on guard, jeebs running down his spine.

Dean stands up from the motel bed, the only thing that's come with him from the motel room through his dream, and his heart starts beating wildly. This is the first time this has happened. Every attempt before now was a failure, Dean's own mind just simply dreaming and never connecting to Lizzy. But this is new, it feels new. It feels real.

"Lizzy!" Dean shouts immediately, knowing she has to be close by. "L! Lizzy!"

He hears running feet coming up from behind him. Dean turns around just in time to see what looks like a werewolf, yellow eyes paired with sharp teeth and claws out, heading right for him. He doesn't have time to move out of the way and the werewolf runs right by him, Dean feeling a breeze as he nearly gets bowled over.

"Whoa," Dean awes at the moment. The werewolf ignored him. Didn't even see him. It's clear now that he's there but not really there… wherever there is.

It's then he sees the picture in his hand still, having brought it with him. He's very thankful he was able to keep it close.

From the same direction another monster comes jogging up. He has a stone, handmade, quite crude weapon in his hand with a very sharp edge. Looking him over, his teeth descended, Dean knows instantly that he's staring at a vampire.

"Best be on your way now," he mutters to himself with a southern accent, relaxing when he knows the werewolf is gone. He lifts his vintage sailor cap to wipe his brow with his sleeve. He grins a little and walks away, looking on the prowl the entire time while never once even peeking Dean's way.

Dean shakes his head. No one seems to see or hear him. What if Lizzy can't see or hear him either even if he finds her?

No, she will be able to see him. He has to be positive. He has to find her. This is her sleeping mind after all… or maybe just resting mind?

"Lizzy!" Dean calls out a few more times, roaming the area with eyes scanning. "Come on, L! Where are you?"

"Dean?"

He freezes. That voice, the one he began to forget the very beautiful sound of, says his name with sheer confusion.

"Lizzy!?" he tries again.

"What the fuck… Dean?"

He follows the sound, walking around an exceptionally wide tree and finds hers. She's sitting on the ground with her back to the massive tree trunk, her face covered in dirt and blood. Her hair, the bottom half blonde still and the top half of new growth being her brown color, is tied up with what looks like a strip of leather. Her clothing is tattered and there's another weapon much like the one he saw in the vampire's hold on the ground next to her, her fist tightly around it.

They pause, both unsure of what to say as wide eyes connect. The shock of actually seeing each other after so long is too much to function at first.

Lizzy's the first to truly react.

"Fuck you," Lizzy shakily says to him to break the silence, lifting her weapon and springing to her feet shockingly quickly. She lunges for him and takes a swing, Dean jumping back and dodging the swipe just in time.

"Lizzy!" He holds his hands out in surrender. "It's me!"

"Bullshit, you shifter asshat!" she screams at him.

"Shit!" Dean yells when she tries to slice him again, ducking from her makeshift blade. "Lizzy! It's me!"

"No," she attacks again, Dean happy he remembers how to handle himself in a fight right now. "You're. Not. Him!"

"You're Elizabeth Winchester!" he tells her, backing up into a tree and cornering himself. She holds the blade to his neck and he keeps talking. "You're my wife. We've been married for over three years. We have a son…"

"And a shifter would know all that," Lizzy challenges.

"But a shifter wouldn't have this," Dean holds up the picture in his hand, the photo now wrinkled with the fight. He holds it in front of her face so that she has to look at it.

Lizzy looks and her weapon slowly lowers as she takes in the image. Her eyes lock onto the little boy in it, her brain needing to work slowly to really recognize who is in the image. With her free hand she pulls the picture out of Dean's grip and looks it over.

"Lizzy, it's me," Dean tells her while she never stops peering at her boy. He sees her chin quiver and her eyes water. "I took some dreamroot. I'm not actually here, but… I had to find you."

Her teary eyes look up at him with sudden awe. "He's so old."

"He just had his second birthday," Dean explains, trying to keep his own emotions in check as her tears start to fall. "He's talking like crazy. We, uh… we hang out every day, read books together, even work on the car… and we say goodnight to your picture every night. He misses you."

"He doesn't remember me," she corrects him, the tears running down her face as she looks at her boy, his face older now. He looks like a person, not the baby she remembers every day of her miserable, damned life. She's missed so much.

"He knows you," Dean nods. "You think I'd let him forget you?"

Lizzy looks up at him, exhaling a sob as she looks into the beautiful green eyes she's longed for every damn day since she was taken to this place. She drops her weapon onto the forest ground and places an open palm to his cheek. She watches Dean lean into her touch, his eyes fluttering closed as a tear of his own trails down his cheek with how thankful he is to have her back even for just this short amount of time.

"Oh god, it's really you," she cries hard as she pulls her arms around his neck and hugs him with every ounce of strength she has.

Dean immediately yanks her in, desperate to feel her in any way possible. His hand at the back of her head, he can hear her crying in his ear with relief. His entire world lightens, the boulder of dread and guilt and uncertainty that has been on his shoulders from the moment he found out she was gone is suddenly no longer there.

"I missed you so much," she sobs into his shoulder.

"God, L," he starts, keeping her in tightly. "I'm a mess without you."

"I always knew you were," she half laughs, half cries as she looks up at him.

"Yeah, you know me so well," Dean nods, leaning down to kiss her. When their lips meet, it having been so long since they could do this, it's solid. It's as if no time has passed. They both still need one another just as much, if not more, than ever.

Lizzy pulls him in with a hand at the back of his neck, deepening the kiss with desperation. It's the first time in who knows how long that she's felt good in any way. It's been pain, blood, fear, and never ending fight. This… well, this is what Lizzy's been fighting for.

When she ends the kiss she doesn't back away. Dean's forehead pressed to hers, he asks her, "Where the hell are we?"

When her eyes meet his, she tells him plain and simple. "Purgatory."

His face drops. "Purgatory!? How? You're human."

"Dick exploded and took me and Cass here with him," Lizzy explains, hugging him in and pressing the side of her head to his flannel. "Been here ever since."

"Jesus," Dean shakes his head. "We thought you were dead."

"What?" Lizzy asks with outrage, letting him go and taking a step back. "Why would you think that?"

"Because Sam and Lou saw it," Dean explains, his forehead wrinkled in confusion for her reaction. "They told me you died."

The fire of pure fury alights in her eyes. "But Lou should have known."

"What?" Dean asks.

"She should have known," Lizzy repeats. "She went here herself. She knows what happens when a monster dies and Dick was a monster." She shakes her head in bafflement. "How did she explain it to you?"

"She and Sam just said you exploded with Dick. Cass, too. There was nothing left…."

"No," she strongly denies. "No. I've been here and she knows it. She knows all about this! Cass and I have been stuck here, clawing our way out… and she told you I died!? None of you were even looking for me!?"

Dean's face shows the hurt within him at this. "I've been looking for you from the second I knew you were really alive."

Lizzy's heart melts, her anger calms. "How did you know?"

"I could feel you," Dean admits. "Seven months ago you got hurt, or at least I think you did. On your side." He points to her left side below her ribs.

Lizzy presses a hand to the old, healed up injury. "How did you know that?" she almost whispers with surprise.

"When you got hurt… I got hurt," he says to her. "I never bled or anything but I felt every ounce of pain that you did. I thought I was dying."

"So did I," Lizzy nods, wiping her eyes, the places the tears touched now clean on her otherwise dirt-stained face. "But I made it. I had to."

"What do I have to do to get you out?" Dean asks quickly. "Anything. Name it." He grabs her free hand and squeezes it.

"Nothing," Lizzy assures him. "You can't open this place up. You saw what happened when Cass did it."

"But you can't stay here," Dean says painfully. "L, I can't leave you here. How do I ever look Sammy in the eye again if I know where you are and I did nothing about it?"

She sighs heavily with that. "I love you so much."

He just smiles sadly, heart bursting with the words she says.

"And this is all you have to do," Lizzy tells him, grabbing harder to his hand. "You take my little man and you head to the cabin. I'll meet you there soon."

Dean's face screws up in confusion.

"There's a way out of here, a backdoor for souls that aren't meant to be here," she explains quickly. "I'm working on getting there. Me and Cass, we'll be out before you know it."

Dean shakes his head. "I don't understand…."

"It's a long story, one I can't wait to tell you when I'm back," Lizzy tells him, leaning up to kiss him again. "Baby, I'm coming home. I told you I'd come back. Just head to the cabin. I'll do the rest."

"Lizzy, you look exhausted…" Dean airs his concern about her doing this on her own.

"I am. But that will never stop me," she tells him, looking once more at the picture she has in her hand. Her beautiful boys. Her life. Her everything. She tears up all over again. "I missed so much of his life. I'm not missing anymore of it." She sighs. "God, he's so handsome! Is he okay?"

"L, he's great," Dean gets choked up. "He's running around, getting into everything. He wears me out." Dean laughs a little, so does Lizzy through her crying. "And he's smart. Damn, the kid's gonna be smarter than me before I know it."

Lizzy covers her forehead with a hand and sobs, her heart breaking. "I knew it. I knew he'd be so smart. I miss him so fucking much."

Dean watches as a tear falls onto the picture and he can't help himself. He pulls her in and wraps her up in his arms, knowing how this has all but killed her to be away from Sammy. "You gotta get outta here."

"I'm going to, I swear," she sobs into his chest.

"L… I can't keep going without you," Dean admits. "I've been trying to contact you for so long… I need you."

She looks up to glazed over green eyes and can't stop herself. She kisses him again, long and seriously. That feeling of home hits her just like every time she's around her man. Dean, even after seven years, is her home. And she hasn't been home in so long.

"Go to the cabin and wait for me," Lizzy tells him, her lips still touching his, and the sound of a freight truck blaring its horn wakes him up.

Dean sits up fast from his reclined position still at the end of the motel bed in the crappy truck stop stayover. He breathes hard, blinks rapidly as he tries to register what just happened.

He can feel her on his lips still, hear her voice. It felt so real. It had to be real.

Looking to his hand he finds the picture of he and his two-year-old son still there, now wrinkled. He notices a single drop of water on the top corner.

He touches it with his thumb, smearing the drop as he realizes its Lizzy's tear. It was real. All of it.

Lizzy's out there. She's trying to get home.

And his brother and sister-in-law lied to him. He knows they did.

Gathering everything into his bag as quickly as he can, Dean rushes out the door and doesn't even bother checking out. He peels out of the lot and heads for their house.

"Long day," Lou says as she flops onto the couch next to Sam, leaning a head onto his shoulder. He passes her a beer can and she grins. "Uh, I love you."

"Funny how easy that is to say when I give you beer," Sam jokes.

She nudges his shoulder with a warm grin but cracks the can and takes a sip. "How was he tonight?"

"Easy as ever until bath time," Sam nods, this being the usual routine. "What does he have against being clean?"

"Who knows," Lou shrugs, not getting it.

"I got this out of the whole ordeal though," Sam tells her, opening his phone and pulling up a video.

Lou takes the phone and watches a video of Sammy running around the house bare-assed naked and screaming with laughter as he hides from Uncle Sam, the evil bath time monger.

"Oh my god," Lou smiles, laughing lightly. "Jesus. He's lucky he's so damn cute."

"Yeah," Sam huffs a solid laugh, pocketing his phone when the video ends. "He's exhausting though."

Lou looks at him. "Aww, you tired?"

"Yeah," Sam huffs and nods. "Sammy's tiring these days."

"And where did Dean say he was going tonight?" Lou wonders, sipping her beer.

"Uh, as I recall… out," Sam answers, imitating his brother's voice.

"So…?"

"I don't really want to know," Sam admits.

Lou sighs. "Me neither." They both do assume the worst. They remember old Dean well. "But… we do have a quiet night to ourselves now."

Sam grins. "We do."

"What do you wanna do about that?" Lou wonders, winking at him.

Putting his beer on the coffee table, Sam leans over to her. "I might have an idea."

"Yeah?" Lou plays back.

"Oh, definitely," Sam assures her, adding her beer next to his, and closes the space between them. He kisses her slowly, knowing they have time for once.

And Lou giggles a little, leaning back on the couch until she's lying on her back, pulling Sam over her.

They remain like that, making out and enjoying their quiet little lives in a quiet little town… until the front door bursts open.

Sam's head pops up over the couch to look to the front door, just catching the sight of his brother marching through the hallway and up the stairs of their quaint yet cute two story home.

"Dean?" Sam calls out and the only response he gets is some slamming around on the second floor. One quick glance to Lou and they both get up, knowing something is very wrong here.

When they get to Dean's bedroom they find him shoving clothes and toiletries into his bag with fury.

"Dean, what the hell?" Sam asks, walking in first.

He doesn't answer.

"Seriously, Dean. What's happening?" Lou tries now, standing next to Sam.

Still, Dean won't say a word. He just packs his things up like the old days. As many clothing items as he can, the bare necessities, and he's rushing out of the room, pushing between the two of them gruffly.

Sam huffs. "Come on, Dean. You gotta talk to us." They follow him.

Dean flicks on the light in Sammy's room and he starts doing the same for his son. He throws items into the empty duffle he grabbed from his own closet. He packs diapers, some books, toys, clothing, everything Sammy will need to be gone for a while… however long it takes Lizzy to get back.

"You're gonna wake Sammy…." Sam tries to stop him.

Dean grits his teeth and looks at Sam, pausing his work. "You were never gonna tell me, were you?"

"Tell you what?" Sam asks, completely confused.

Dean nods. He's done talking. He finishes packing up and slings both bags over his shoulder. Walking to Sammy's racecar bed, he kneels to the floor quickly. He eases up his tone. "Hey, buddy," he says to his son, a hand to his back and rubbing lightly to wake him. "We're gonna go for a ride, ok?"

"Dean, what the hell?" Lou asks, getting angry. "You're taking your son for a ride at two in the morning?"

Closing his eyes with the lecture that's coming, Dean says screw it. He picks up his son and pulls him in tight. Sammy's head on his shoulder, Dean keeps marching. He makes his way down the stairs and to the front door before Sam rushes up behind him and pushes the door shut before he could leave.

"Back off, Sam," Dean dangerously warns to the door, not even bothering to turn around and face his lying brother.

"Not until you tell me what this is about, Dean," Sam pushes back, waiting for an explanation.

Dean snaps around, eyeing his little brother with ire. "You know where she is. You both do. You lied to me."

Sam and Lou can't find any words to respond to that at first. It's too much of a shock that he's figured it out after all this time.

Dean turns slowly around, a very confused Sammy in his arm. He eyes the two of them. "You knew she was alive this whole year. And you never did anything about it."

"How did you…?"

"Doesn't matter," Dean tells his brother. He shakes his head with still running disbelief. "How could you lie to me like that, Sam? For a whole year?"

The sadness is what's killing Sam. He knew this day would eventually come but he'd always hoped it'd come the day Lizzy returned and all was explained at once. He assumed Dean would find out when Lizzy was back and that would trump the deceit. So much for that. "We know you too well. We knew you'd... run off. And done something maybe… stupid."

"Of course I would've done something!" Dean yells. "I don't want her rotting in fucking Purgatory! I care about her!"

"We care about her too!" Lou immediately shouts, fired up with the accusation.

"No. You don't," Dean assures her. "Because if you did… you would have told her family where she was. You would have done something."

"But we knew…."

"I don't want to hear it," Dean stops Lou and walks out the door, marching for his Impala.

Lou glances at Sam with a helpless face right before Sam runs after his brother.

"We did what we thought was best!" Sam tells his brother, catching up in time to watch Dean buckle Sammy in. "At least wait until morning to leave if you have to. Let Sammy sleep the night."

"No," Dean tells them quickly, no other explanation needed.

"You can't be this pissed at us," Sam tells him.

"Oh no?" Dean challenges, standing up straight once Sammy's strapped into his seat. Dean eyes his brother less than a foot away, fire in his expression. "I've been without her for a year. I told you I thought she was still alive!"

"And if I said you were right?" Sam challenges. "What would you have done?"

Dean clenches his jaw and doesn't answer. He knows he would have been a risk, wanting to take drastic measures to get Lizzy out of Purgatory. But that doesn't mean he'd do it. He still has to think about his son and his future, doesn't he? And the world he has to live in?

Dean takes a deep breath before speaking. "I thought, after all this time and all the shit we've dealt with… that we didn't lie to each other anymore."

Sam doesn't know what to say to that. He stands his ground and looks right at his brother, but inside he feels like that small, scrawny kid he used to be when his brother would get mad at him for fucking something up.

And Dean just points a finger in his brother's face. "I would have told you." He then gets into his car, ending the conversation. The Impala peels out of the driveway and speeds off, to where Sam and Lou have no clue.

Sam knows how hard he screwed up.

"Is that it?" Lizzy questions Benny, looking up the cliff in front of them at the bright blue light that seems to be pulsating and growing.

"That's it darlin'," he tells her, sure of it.

"It's reacting to you," Castiel informs her. "We need to move quickly."

"Why?" Lizzy questions.

"We won't be alone for long… I can sense them coming," Castiel admits, eyes everywhere.

Benny turns to Lizzy with a slight grin. "You ready?"

"Just like we planned, sweetie," she winks with a little smile of her own, already able to taste the freedom.

"I'm putting a lot of faith into you," Benny reminds her. "You're lucky I trusted Lou so much."

"Hey, you've earned it… and not just because Lou trusted you," she tells him, pulling a large silver knife out of her jacket pocket and slicing her forearm open. "Benny, you're good people. Let's get the fuck outta here."

"Good people," he huffs a laugh at her as she pulls his forearm to her and she slices him.

"You sure this isn't gonna turn me?" she asks one last time before blood to blood contact happens with him. She's been fearful of this whole spell from the jump.

"No… but even if you do turn you'll be able to get my blood when we get Earth-side to reverse that anyways, right?" He cocks an eyebrow at her.

"You're lucky I like you," she comments quietly, grabbing his arm near the elbow and Benny doing the same so that their cuts line up. "Conjunti sumus, unum sumus."

The warm pain hits her arm quickly as Benny's entire body stiffens. The bright white and red light starts in his arm and travels its way through his form. Once it consumes him it breaks down into an amorphous shape of light that quickly gets absorbed into Lizzy's arm. Once it's entirely under her skin the cut heals itself and she's left with a light under skin moving around and causing a dull ache.

"Well, shit," Lizzy huffs out. She then looks to Castiel. "You sure you don't want the same ride out?"

"I wouldn't have a vessel to return to. It isn't possible," Castiel answers, focus darting everywhere as he looks nothing short of horribly worried.

"Cass," she says his name and he manages to look at her. "We're almost home. We just have a little further. Believe in us. We're getting out."

Castiel simply nods once. They don't have time now for her to decipher what the hell is wrong with him and why he seems so blasé about the momentous finding. They just need to move.

Lizzy takes off, looking back once to be sure Castiel is with her. They get to a clearing just under the cliff the portal is opening on when Castiel grabs her arm and makes her stop.

"Cass!" she gets mad.

"Wait!" he tells her and immediately two black streaks rocket from the sky and impact into the ground right in front of them. The small craters made by the harsh landing fill with black goo. The goo quick solidifies into human form, letting both human and angel know that they are in the presence of two Leviathans.

"Fuck," Lizzy shouts, absolutely furious with this timing. She's so close and these two dickbags have to stand in her way. Nothing will stop her from getting to her son and her husband. "Not now, assholes," she says under her breath and twirls her makeshift weapon in her grip.

Castiel watches Lizzy charge at one of the Leviathan without a shade of fear. She quickly dispatches of him, his head rolling away, and Castiel makes his move. He grabs the Leviathan from behind and ducks his head, Lizzy ready and sharp, her quick reflexes and overall abilities are honed and fine-tuned after so long in Purgatory. She lops the second Leviathan's head off without hesitation and continues running.

"Come on!" she yells to her angel as they keep marching.

Castiel dutifully follows, needing to be sure she gets out safely. Of the two of them, Lizzy doesn't deserve to be here.

Climbing the cliff, the wind picking up as the portal opens further with her proximity, they struggle. It's steep, the dirt and rocks are loose, and the wind becomes stronger and more unbearable as they go. But Lizzy makes it to the top.

Turning around, she looks down at Castiel barely holding on. "Grab my hand!" she leans down and reaches for him.

"Get in first!" Castiel shouts back to her, still clawing his way upwards.

She listens. Lizzy steps into the portal and reaches over the edge again on her hands and knees. One hand still gripping her weapon, she managed to grasp his hand as hard as she can. She starts to pull. "Hurry! Cass, it's closing!"

"Elizabeth!" he yells her name, trying harder but still failing.

"Cassie, please!" she starts to fear as their grip loosen. She's losing him.

"No! Elizabeth!" he yells her name again and their hands slide out of each other's hold. "Elizabeth!"

Castiel falls some feet down the cliff as the portal closes and takes her with it, the terror in his eyes the last Lizzy sees of her guardian angel.

The answer is yes, I am skipping a year. I will do flashbacks like the show did. I'm not saying I loved the way the show did it, and no I won't have nearly as many flashbacks as the show, but I wanted to try my hand at the style. Why not, right?

Always feel free to let me know how you feel about this chapter. A lot going on here. I am so curious as to what you all think! Thank you for continuing on with this series with me!