title: hiraeth
summary: Getting dropped into a fictional world was the worst way to spend a Saturday morning. Elsie didn't even like Japanese cartoons.
epigraph: 'hEr-rIth' (n.) homesickness for a home you cannot return to, or that never was.

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I. INTO THE ABYSS

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Elsie Aldridge was a realist.

Or rather, for a lack of better terms, an unimaginative atheist, according to Cooper McCleary, Elsie's self-proclaimed partner-in-crime. Of course, it was always Cooper executing all the felonies, while an exasperated Elsie was left to clean up after her mess.

Looking back on it, Elsie realized how much of an idiot she really was by letting herself get tangled up in Cooper's misdemeanors. If it weren't for her quick wit and spotless reputation (which, at this point, had been reduced to rubbish), Elsie probably would've ended up being cell neighbors with Cooper in their county's local youth detention center—that, or get her ass kicked to military school.

The point is, Elsie wasn't a bad person. Sharp-tongued and pessimistic at times, perhaps, but not amoral. Never amoral. She never littered on the highway, submitted her homework in on time, and always turned in her library books before the due date.

She did not deserve to be tossed into a Japanese cartoon.

So why, pray tell, was she currently plummeting through the air at the velocity of a meteorite?

Elsie decided that somewhere along the line, karma had fucked up, confused her for her notorious, pink-haired counterpart, and it was all Cooper's damn fault she was about to die. Then again, acknowledging the possibility of karma suggested that she believed in the existence of some higher being, which sort of clashed with her lack of religious affiliation.

But for the sake of our audience, let's start at the beginning, shall we?

It was a peaceful Saturday morning, and Elsie was content on remaining swathed under three layers of blankets—that is, until her phone blared a rendition of Kanye West's Bound 2.

It was safe to assume Elsie's weekend was ruined.

"Hey, loser," an overly-sunny voice chimed from the other line, unaffected by the snarls erupting from Elsie's throat. "You're coming over. We're going to anime con today."

"Cooper, tell me you didn't change my ringtone to that abomination just so you could wake me up at six-fucking-thirty on a Saturday morning and talk me into going to your weeaboo gathering."

"Too bad, I've already got your outfit ready. Do you prefer Orihime or Nami?"

"I'm going to annihilate you."

"Sweet, Nami it is. See you in five."

Elsie was ready to hand out applications for the position of new best friend. Cooper had abused her privilege for far too long. Nevertheless, with a disgruntled noise that was faintly reminiscent of a cross between a baboon and the hyenas from Lion King, Elsie rolled out of bed, fished out an outfit that would hopefully make her look human, and mourned over the precious Saturday that could have been wasted doing absolutely nothing.

Elsie really needed to start paying attention to the "subtle" signs life threw her way.

The moment she stepped out into the streets, she was greeted with the dreadful, pit-of-your-stomach feeling that you only experienced when you knew something went horribly wrong.

Elsie inhaled sharply, picked up her left foot, and inspected the disaster in all its glory—a thick, sticky wad of mint bubblegum had encroached itself between the grips of the unabashedly pink sneakers her grandmother had gotten her for Christmas, and no amount of forced pacing was going to do away with it.

Elsie had half a mind to turn around and barricade herself back in her room, but a little voice in the back of her mind reasoned that it'd be a waste to turn back after she'd mustered up the resolve to get out of bed.

(Which, in her defense, wasn't often.)

But after a run-in with a flock of angry geese, reenacting a 1920's movie scene where she was promptly showered in dirty puddle water (courtesy of drunken asswipes who probably thought they looked hot as shit driving in their mother's battered Sedan), and nearly getting mobbed by the local drug dealer who took refuge at the Chinese restaurant down the street, Elsie began to wonder if she had made a huge mistake—but crushed the thought as soon as it transpired.

And it wasn't just because she half-expected Marlon Brando to swoop in and save the day. Nope, not at all.

Cooper's neighborhood was wedged between a gaseous construction site and the sketchier side of Denver, compromised of a dozen apartment complexes sandwiched across a single street. Theft was common, crime rates were substantially higher, and the chances of Elsie dying had multiplied by approximately 1.3 percent.

And no, Elsie did not just pull that number out of her ass.

Elsie was afraid. Very, very afraid. You would be, too, if you were a small, gangling ginger teetering on the sidewalk of your hometown's seediest district, armed with nothing but empty mint wrappers and an arsenal of sarcasm at your disposal.

In hindsight, she probably should've paid more attention to the enraged screaming emerging from above her. Perhaps then she would've dodged the fatal accident that would ultimately drop her into the fictional world of a goddamn anime.

Elsie didn't even like Japanese cartoons, dammit.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S ON HIATUS?"

"Now darling, calm down, it's only a cartoon—"

"SHUT UP, MOM, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME." A squeal, not unlike the sound of nails on a chalkboard, caused Elsie to pause mid-step and swing her head at the direction of the noise. "Fuck this shit!"

"—don't—!"

Too late.

The last thing Elsie saw as the two-hundred-something pound TV descended down from an open window on the fifth floor was the image of two bug-eyed cartoon characters—one black-haired, the other white—turning opposite directions, their expressions twisted in sweet agony—

And then, the screen began glowing, surrounding itself in a mist of faint white, and Elsie barely had the chance to whisper, oh, shit—

Too late.

Just as Elsie realized she was about to get flattened to death, a burst of rage bubbled inside her stomach.

Her last sight on Earth would be the pixelated image of fucking Japanese cartoon characters.

Before she could launch into a lengthy monologue about the absolute shittiness that was her life, a blinding light enveloped her (rendering her temporarily blind in the process, mind you), and with a dramatic whoosh, the television had swallowed her whole.

Literally.

When Elsie realized she was, in fact, not on the brink of death and bleeding out on the sidewalk, she opened her eyes and—

First mistake.

Now, Elsie wasn't much of an acrophobiac, but when faced with a situation where one was plummeting to their certain demise from approximately one-thousand seven hundred and eighty-four meters in the air, well, let's just say it made riding the Tower of Terror look like a walk in the park—

Which sounded rather appealing right now.

Amidst the thought of holy shit mother of Buddha (because, well, Elsie still hadn't come to terms with Catholicism), I'm going to die, the rational half of her brain wondered why the hell there was a mile-long tree stretching skyward from the ground.

Luckily, the gargantuan sapling boasted arms of generous length to assist in breaking her fall, drawing residual 'oomph!'s and ceaseless thwack!'s as Elsie's now mutilated body trundled closer to the ground.

Now, at this point, Elsie was desperate. The flash prior to being dropped in God-knows-where left her with a mind-numbing migraine, the muscles on her arms and legs hurt from being bashed with rock-hard branches, and she really, really wanted to puke.

So, Elsie resorted to her last option.

She decided to pray to whatever God was out there to save her, dammit.

It seemed as if her prayers were answered when a particularly thin tendril caught a stitch in the back of her sweater, suspending the Earthling mid-fall; Elsie gasped, clutched at her heart, and whispered a silent thanks to the deity that had rescued her.

"Piyo!"

Alas, the good fortune of a newly-enlightened convert bore little fruit—Elsie's next plight came in the form of mutated baby chicks, eyes wide and soulless, gaping at Elsie in...

No no no no NO.

Elsie refused to become the meal of a carnivorous chicken.

So, she did what any other fourteen-year-old dumbass hailing from Earth with zero knowledge of self-defense skills would do—

She extracted the bunched-up peppermint wrappers stashed in her back pocket and flung them at the demonic anomaly.

...

"PIYOOOO!"

Elsie shrieked, propelling herself backwards in an attempt to dodge the sudden onslaught of snapping jaws, unknowingly tearing the thin stitches that tethered her to the tree.

And then, she was falling.

Again.

And unlike last time, there was nothing separating her from splattering on the ground like an egg—

Wait.

Elsie's eyes widened.

"Watch out!"

The turbaned man tilted his head, his mouth half-full with the remnants of an apple.

His jaw dropped.

Then, the two collided, producing ash, dust, and a spindrift of dirt in their wake.

Somewhere in the vast realms of the universe, Elsie swore she heard God laughing.

A/N: This is the product of high sugar intake and questionable sobriety. As always, I'm a slut for talentless OC's, offensive humor, and slandering religion.

Alright, I'm sure a lot of you didn't understand wtf was going on because I'm trash at descriptions. Basically, Elsie, our protagonist, sets out to waste her precious Saturday per the request of her (shitty) best friend, gets eaten by a TV playing an episode of Hunter X Hunter, and ends up falling from the top of the World Tree.

I'msosorryforwhatyouhadtoreadbye.

On a more important note, I didn't revise this for any mistakes (yikes), so if you spotted any feel free to let me know! Criticism/feedback is always welcome!

Sidenote, romance won't be heavy in this fic (lmao when is it ever). Plenty of friendship and drama and awkward situations, though. Also, I've only watched the 2011 anime (fite me), haven't read the manga, so everything that happens will only be based off of 2011 version. While I'm not opposed to romantic pairings, I don't really wanna steer that direction with this (?) or maybe I do, idk. All I can say is romance won't be happening for quite a while, but I'm uncertain af so everything is subject to change.

Hope you enjoyed reading!