Sleeping Beetle

A Beetlejuice fan fiction by Lady Norbert

A/N: I'm going to guess that my readers figured out the same thing that Donny and Vince did at the end of the last chapter. This may be a somewhat predictable move on my part, but there is actually a point to it. (After all, remember the prophecy.)

How Lydia decides to bring her husband into the loop is revealed in this, the final chapter of the current arc. Many thanks to my fandom buddy Rach, who was the one to suggest this. I'll be taking a bit of a break from this series in order to try to work on some other projects for a bit, but rest assured that the next story - which has its roots in Snow White - is in progress and will start to be posted pretty soon. Meanwhile, thanks for reading and reviewing this one!

Chapter Twenty-One: I Just Love Happy Endings

Lydia had balked, initially, at the idea of seeing the doctor. She protested that she was a little under the weather, she'd just picked up a bug in Romania, it was nothing serious. Beetlejuice had respected this; after all, he figured that the wife knew her own needs well enough. Donny, however, had been increasingly acting like a worrywart. Granted, this wasn't exactly out of character for his brother, but still.

By the time he'd gone home, Donny had managed to get Beetlejuice a little worried. He did have a point - they'd been back in New England for a few weeks now, and she didn't seem to be getting any better.

"Maybe he's right," he said carefully, not wanting to antagonize her. She was just a wee bit pricklier than usual, which was really only noticeable because Lydia was almost never prickly. "I mean, it couldn't hurt to see a doc, could it? Just to be sure nothing's wrong."

She gave him a grumpy sort of look, which was hilarious on her normally placid features. "If I go to the doctor," she said in a forcibly even tone, "will you and your brother quit nagging me?"

"Hey, I ain't a nag!" He briefly transformed into an old horse, like the one they'd met in Tombstone all those years ago. "This is a nag." Turning back into himself with a faint pop, he continued, "But yeah. You see the doc, she clears you for takeoff, I won't say another word."

"Fine."

Nothing more was said on the matter, but Lydia made an appointment which came and went, and she didn't have a whole lot to report once it was over. "I'm healthy," she said, "as far as the doctor can tell. I gave a blood sample and she's going to run a few tests just to make sure she's right about it all, but there's no reason for alarm."

"You sure?" Beetlejuice asked, before he could stop himself. She fixed him with a steely gaze, and he backed up a pace. "Just askin'!"

"Everything's fine," she insisted. Rather than chastise him for fussing, and maybe to remove the opportunity for him to fuss more, she changed the subject. "Our anniversary's coming up," she reminded him. "The old one, I mean - eleven years since the day we met. It's next week."

"Whaaat? No, it can't be. I distinctly remember, our anniversary was last year."

She laughed, which was what he wanted, and his grin was dripping with self-satisfaction. "Well, now that we've got two anniversaries to remember, I was thinking for the friendship anniversary we could just stay home and relax. I'll make something special for dinner. Then we'll do something bigger for the first wedding anniversary."

"Whatever you say, Babes." He folded his arms and leaned against the wall. "I ain't about to argue with your cooking."

He arrived home from work and inhaled deeply as he crossed the threshold. "Something smells incredible."

"Buns."

"...I beg your pardon?"

"There are buns in the oven. You know, cinnamon buns? For dessert?"

"Aw, Lyds, you haven't made those in ages!"

"Well, it's a special occasion."

"What's the main course?" he asked, mouth watering a bit.

"Baby back ribs."

His eyes widened. "Are you for real?"

"Well, I didn't make them. I'm just doing dessert - I'm having the main course catered." She eyed him in a way that made his insides feel somehow very twitchy. "You like the idea?"

"Uh, yeah. But I thought you were making dinner."

"I was planning on it, but I didn't feel well again today. It just made more sense to order them." She shrugged. Her tone was almost too casual. "The doctor's office called; all the blood work just confirmed what she already said. But I'm fine."

He watched her move around the kitchen, scratching his head. There was something just the littlest bit off about the whole thing, but he couldn't put his finger on it. "You all right, Babes?"

"Yeah, of course. I think I hear the delivery truck - go get the food, would you?"

It was a delicious meal, if an uneventful one, and the cinnamon buns were absolutely perfect. Beetlejuice, however, was still scratching his head (on the inside, though, not where anyone could see it).

Something funny's going on. It feels like I'm trying to put together a puzzle and I'm missing one or two of the pieces. And I swear she's got 'em hidden in her camera bag or something.

"So... Wifey-Babes... whatcha wanna do tonight?" he asked, finishing his ribs. "It's supposed to be a rainy one - perfect weather for one of our film fests."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," she replied, wiping her mouth. "A nice quiet night at home watching scary movies. I put a pile of DVDs on the coffee table. You go see if any of them catch your interest while I clean up."

That seemed a bit more like the usual Lydia, so he wandered into the living room to have a look at the selections. "All right, let's see here... Rosemary's Baby... The Omen... The Good Son... Lyds, we've seen all these! You didn't even like The Good Son, you kept complaining that all you could see was the aftershave scene from Home Alone." Grumbling, he continued to paw at the stack. "Son of Dracula, that's a better one... oh, and Frankenstein's Daughter, now that's some classic schlock. Much better."

"Well, what do you think?" Lydia inquired, joining him.

"Let's go with Son of Dracula first. I know you like the vampires."

"Is... is that all you're thinking?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind." She shook her head. "Son of Dracula it is."

She was sound asleep much later when Beetlejuice decided to wander downstairs and investigate the prospect of a midnight snack. "Pretty sure there's some cinnamon buns left in the fridge," he mused, opening the door. "Let's see here... almost outta milk... I'll take those leftover ribs for lunch tomorrow... bowl of baby carrots... sliced cheese... where'd she put the... baby carrots?"

He seized the bowl and stared at its contents, almost not believing his own eyes. "Wait a minute. Cinnamon buns in the oven, baby back ribs, those movies..." He sucked in a breath, spinning his head around and shrieking for a moment before reaching up to grab it. "LYDIA!"

He vanished at once, reappearing in the bedroom with the bowl still in his hand, staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the figure in the bed. She was sitting up, rubbing her eyes and glaring. "What are you yelling about, Beej?" she muttered.

"Baby carrots!" He thrust the bowl at her, as though it contained all the mysteries of the universe (or at least those missing puzzle pieces he couldn't seem to find earlier). "Baby carrots!" he repeated. "Baby!"

"...seriously? That's what tipped you off?"

"Are you kidding me, Babes? You mean to say that when you told Vasile -"

"No, when I told Vasile I was pregnant, it was a lie," she replied calmly, settling back against the pillows again. "It only became true later - and a good thing too, seeing what I went through while we were in his castle." Glancing down at her stomach, she chuckled. "Like I said, I apparently picked up a bug while we were in Romania. I was right about that. It just... wasn't the kind of bug I thought I picked up."

Beetlejuice felt his expression relax from shock into one more like dopey fondness. "Daddy's little monster," he said after a moment. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy. This is gonna be great."

"It gets better." Lydia chuckled again. "I'm due the week of Halloween."

"Of course! What better day for my son to start terrorizing two worlds?" He cackled. "Oh, man, the Neitherworld is going to freak!"

She smiled blearily. "You know," she said, "last year when you gave me a surprise wedding for my birthday, I thought I would never manage to top that. But the way you're dancing around the room, I think I just did. Happy anniversary, Beej."

"Happy anniversary, Mommy-Babes." Beetlejuice paused, and then started to laugh, tumbling about in midair clutching his belly. "Oh, Lyds. You're gonna be a mummy!"

"...I'm going back to sleep now. You're an idiot."

"Yeah, and...?"

She sighed. "You're my idiot."

"Damn right."

~Fin~