Herobrine slammed the door behind him, remembering Steve at the last moment and unsuccessfully trying to catch it. Steve didn't wake up. Herobrine threw his sword down. Well, that was over—why were there unicorns everywhere?! There was an unobtrusive sound from the door and he whipped around to see Forysthia sneaking out of the room, smeared all over with charcoal. She gave him a sheepish gap-toothed grin before shutting the door. There were charcoal unicorns and pegasi and cupcakes all over the floor and lower halves of the walls. Herobrine sighed, and shoved Steve over in bed. He realized that Steve had cat whiskers drawn onto his face. He rubbed them off with the washrag and climbed in next to him. "Hey," said Steve, stretching. Herobrine looked at him in surprise. "Now you wake up?" "Yeah," said Steve, looking at a faint glow on the ceiling. "It's morning." Herobrine burrowed under the pillow with a groan. "Are you alright?" "Fine. Did you hear any of that?" "Any of what?... I think there was shouting. What happened?" "I'll tell you later. Go back to sleep." but instead he felt Steve tucking the blanket around him, and then he got up and left. Several hours later he was shaken awake. "You'd better get up if you want any breakfast before we leave. It's a beautiful morning." "We're leaving?" said Herobrine from under the pillow. "Yeah. I saw dad, he said he'd pick up the ring himself." Herobrine mumbled something unpleasant about Lord Heron. "He was actually quite nice today. Talked about me being part of the family and stuff. He's never done that. It was quite touching. Wonder what put him in such a good mood. Oh, and he told me to tell you that the two of us were in agreement and that you could sulk if you wanted to because he wasn't going to bring it up again. What was that ab—" Herobrine sat bolt upright with a grating shriek and hurled the pillow against the wall. "….I guess he was referring to whatever caused the shouting last night?" Herobrine hid under the blanket and muttered imprecations in several languages. "Yikes. What happened?" "Don't make me tell you on an empty stomach."

They were halfway home, riding through a birch wood. Herobrine decided Steve ought to know what was going on and told him. Steve looked blankly at him. "….." "Oh for the love of God, don't tell me I have to explain it to you!" "He… thinks we're…." "Yes!" "You and me?" "Yes." "…." "Yes. I know." "…He does know we're siblings, right?" "Well I hope so. I believe he had quite a lot to do with it." "That's…." Steve spent some time making increasingly bewildered faces as he searched for words. "Yep," said Herobrine. "But.. but..!" "I know. That's what the shouting was, me trying to tell him how messed up it is." "Why..." "Because he's weird, Steve. He's messed up and he doesn't understand how friendship works and he has a sick mind and I don't think he likes you." "Huh." "Actually I'm not sure he likes me either." "Sure he does." "Pff." they rode on in silence. Glancing at Steve, Herobrine was startled by angry he looked. It was hard to make Steve angry, but it was scary when it did happen. He wondered if he should tell him more about what his father had said and see if he could get him really furious, but decided against it. He'd already given his father enough of a beating that even he was feeling a bit guilty about it. Not that he'd be seriously hurt, but Steve had had a point, it was disrespectful. Then again, he had definitely been provoked, and Herobrine was not inclined to repentance.

Lord Heron reappeared a few days later. Herobrine found him in the kitchen making himself a cheese sandwich. "You're back." "Yes." Herobrine took a deep breath and prepared himself for something that he had never been good at. "Uh, I'm.. sorry for, uh… overreacting, back there. I uh… overreacted a bit and… sorry." he still thought that it was barely an overreaction, as everything else had failed to get Lord Heron to cease and desist; but he had gone a little stir crazy, which he wasn't proud of. Lord Heron made a dismissive sound. Herobrine wondered whether it was a sound of forgiveness or of holding a grudge for the rest of his life. So maybe he was bad at apologizing but this dude wasn't helping. Lord Heron waved the sandwich at him and turned to leave, but froze. Steve had appeared in the doorway, effectively blocking his path. He glared at him. Lord Heron shrank back. Was he afraid of Steve? Suddenly Herobrine wondered. "Ah, hello, Steve." "Herobrine and I are friends." Steve took a step forward and narrowed his eyes. "Just. Friends. Understand?" Lord Heron backed across the room and went out the other door. And he never mentioned it again, except once the next day to Herobrine. "Listen, maybe I did jump to conclusions just a little bit. How about we never mention this again—" "Wait, you'll listen to him but not me?" "Agreed?" "Yes, please, thank you. Why do you listen to Steve?" "He's too stupid to lie." "He's not stupid." but Herobrine knew what he meant.

A/N: HeroSteve is a pet peeve for me, you may have guessed. There's a good bit of it out there and some is quite horrifying. I wondered what my own interpretations of Steve and The Brine would think of being shipped together (they're half-brothers, in case that wasn't written clearly enough on the anvil I dropped on your head.) Also I was angry at life because my mom wouldn't quit disapproval-shipping me with a random dude who took me to a dance once. Once. And also I was sick and feeling slightly high. So this happened. Hopefully it was in some way amusing and not too scarring. #rantover.

Also, disclaimer, this was not intended to be insulting or hurtful in any way to any actual fans or ficcers and if it was I apologize. Awkwardly. Like Herobrine. But I might possibly mean it more.