"We should get going," he said, after a comfortable silence. Natasha sighed - her words still ringing true within her. While she didn't want to end possibly the only moment of peace she'd have today, she nodded.

He stretched out his hand to her, helping her up from the ground - even though she'd told him countless times it was an outdated and unnecessary gesture. Natasha was sure he did it far more often just to mess with her.

"Hey," she said, walking alongside him, along the pristine corridors to the jet hangar in the top floor of the Avenger's Tower, "If this is him…you'll be okay?"

"I don't know Nat, we'll need to find out how he came back. That's certain. I'm sure Tony will help us figure this out, but I don't know how much support we'll have from SHIELD. We'll have to do this without them knowing."

"If I don't give them the information by the time we come back, they'll be onto us."

"I'll leave the decision up to you, Nat," Steve said, turning to her, "After all, your judgement is the one I trust the most. You'll know what to do with it."

Natasha gave him a stiff nod, but knew he was saying it to prove she had a choice - she could do what she wanted. She wasn't limited by two options.

Sneaky captain of hers, proving again and again he was too good. For her.

"We'll need to let Tony know about this. He'll need to prep if...we bring anything back," Steve said, chewing on his lip as he mulled a thought over - one he didn't share, "Go on ahead and make sure everything's ready. I won't be long."

"Alright," she said, eyes curious. Steve had been and still was a terrible liar, even by omission. Natasha knew he was up to something. She could tell by the way his eyes seemed to flicker between hers and her hair, the way his lips turned into a stern line, and the way he raised his left eyebrow in a subconscious pull. But, she didn't say anything; opting instead to let him walk towards Stark's lab.

Without any more hesitation, Natasha walked the rest of the way busy thinking about what Steve was thinking. It was strange and sudden and it made her feel uneasy - the feeling was difficult to pinpoint.

Shaking her head, as if the thoughts would easily erase, she boarded the jet. Sharon and Sam were talking to the pilot while the rest of the strike team was loading their ammunition. Sam turned to her when Natasha entered, eyes questioning where Steve was.

"All set?" Nat asked, avoiding the nervous glance Sharon shot her way.

"Team's bringing in the last of the supplies. Jet will drop you and Sharon off here," Sam pointed out, as they walked to the center of the jet, map laid out for them, "The warehouse, as it turns out, was sold to an unidentified buyer 6 months ago."

"Let me guess, no info on the buyer?"

"Exactly. The company that previously owned the warehouse park now only owns the buildings past this point," Sam said, outlining the map, "You and Sharon take care of the warehouse and the main room. Plant the bombs and get the data. Steve and I will come from here - we're going straight to the experimental area. We'll plant the bombs. Files suggest Red Skull is there. Most of the energy emissions coming from the building are concentrated there, about three floors below."

"Anything on what that can be?"

"Hydra is big on experimentation; especially human experimentation," Sharon said, face steady and looking over to Natasha as she handed her a couple of pictures, "However, after the loss of Loki's scepter, they might be working from a different energy source."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Nat said, flipping through them, "Gamma radiation? And missing people? Please don't tell me it's what I'm thinking."

"And what's that?" Steve said, from behind her. The team turned to him, as he walked into the jet to join them, "They're trying it again, aren't they?"

"We think so," Sharon said, nodding, "Hydra might be attempting to re-create super-soldiers."

"Without you, though, isn't it impossible?" Sam asked Steve, looking over to him.

"Not really, Red Skull wanted the serum for himself. Before Erkstine finished it, Shmidt injected himself with it - one that wasn't finished. What he is now is a result of it."

"Which means he has a version of Erkstine's serum," Sharon said.

"And he's using radiation to complete what's missing," Sam muttered, running his hand across his face, "After all, Dr. Banner's experimentations were an attempt to recreate the serum. I makes sense."

"That would explain the report Hill gave me. In depth reports on Erkstine's work, what happened to Shmidt, and SHIELD's early attempts at recreating the serum," Natasha said, hands on the table and looking at the map.

"Show me," Steve said, offhandedly, as he studied the map. Natasha hesitated; not sure if Steve was aware of all of Peggy's notes embedded within the reports - reports about him. He looked at her when she didn't move, eyes questioning. Natasha nodded, grabbing her file from behind her and handing it to him.

"We're ready, Captain?"

"Then let's go," Steve said, not opening the file, "ETA?"

"3 hours, Captain. We'll probably hit a storm once we get there."

"Heavy?"

"Signs point to yes," the Strike Team pilot nodded, face steady, "Shouldn't be a problem."

"We'll use that as our cover," Steve said, turning to the rest of them, "I suggest we keep focusing on what we're going to be facing. Unknown or not - Red Skull or not, we're dealing with a threat. Let's hone in our plan and make sure nothing goes unchecked. For the moment, check your weapons, suits, gadgets, anything you'll be using. I don't want you to be stuck out there. Make sure we have a stable communication system. We'll regroup and re-discuss our mission strategies in an hour. Understood?"

The team along with the SHIELD Strike recruits nodded, all of them turning to their own seats and groups to do as the captain said, already verifying their magazines, guns, vests, and masks.

"Will you check on the file now or later?" Natasha asked, as Steve returned his gaze to the map between them all. Sharon and Sam had sat down, each fidgeting with their suit details. Natasha kept an eye and ear out for whoever wanted to listen in on her and Steve.

"Better now. That way I can have an idea of what information SHIELD has already," Steve said, in full Captain America mode.

"Steve...the file. Most of it is compiled; first-hand reports are personally filled out by Agent Carter...Agent Peggy Carter," she said, her voice steady and soft - like she'd use on a target when she tried to gauge a situation or reaction. Steve, however, was different. She couldn't read anything off him.

"I understand," he said, his stance and expression unmoving, "Makes sense."

"Okay," Natasha whispered, "You know, you still haven't cried...not really. I don't want you to be alone through this."

"Hey," he said, smiling, "I know you're here. Thank you."

"Did Stark say anything about the mission?"

"No," Steve said, breaking eye contact - it made her uneasy. He was definitely keeping something from her, "Said, he'd be ready when we came back."

"That's all?"

"Yeah…I'm going to check on these files. You should check your weapons and make sure they're ready, Romanoff," he said, the tease at the end of his distraction almost convincing Natasha to drop the idea. She didn't.

"Fine. But, I'll have you know, Rogers...you're still a terrible liar."

He didn't answer, opting instead to offer her a weak smile while distancing himself to a far corner of the jet, where he could delve into the file without too much interruption. Natasha sighed, curious and slightly puzzled as to what could possibly make Steve Rogers hold something back from her.

That thought followed her throughout the 3 hour trip - round and round in her head like a reminder to be on her guard while another part of her - one closer to her chest - told her to relax. This was Steve Rogers. He'd never purposefully hurt her or put her in harm's way.

All she had to do now was believe it.

They arrived right on time. The jet hovering over the warehouse, hidden in the dense, gray clouds. A storm was due to hit at any time, which made it better for them - they'd have stealth on their side. Steve said his orders, dispersed the team, and opened the hatch to the jet. All of it - Natasha noticed - was painfully routinely to him. He'd lived in war almost as long as she had.

"Expect heavy resistance. This is Hydra. If they shoot you, bring them down," he said, as the team prepared to leave the confinement of the jet, "Agent 13 and Agent Romanoff are going straight to the main data room. Sam and I are going to the lower floor. We'll plant the explosives as we go. Strike Team, you'll clear the area. Once you've finished with the ground level, you follow us. That gives us a 20 minute window to to sweep the building and get out of there. Understood?"

"Yes, Captain!" the Strike Team said, in unision.

"Our priority is to destroy whatever experimentation is going on. You see something, you destroy it, shut it down, or dismantle it," Natasha added, "If you can't, the bombs will do the rest."

"Ready?" Steve asked, looking over to them. Sam, Sharon and Natasha nodded, quick and focused. He pressed his lips tightly before turning and walking towards the opening. They were hovering lower and lower - the warehouse visible now, surrounded by the waves of rain falling heavier now. Lightning struck near them, loud and crackling into the railings of the docks.

"Now," Steve said, the jet dipping low to drop them over the docks before elevating again. The team jumped out and took to running into the fray where Hydra agents were already attacking. Sam swooped over the top, bringing with him several snipers and clearing the area for Sharon and Natasha to continue.

"We're going in," Natasha said, running past Steve, explosives ready, "You stay alive, got it?"

"You stay safe."

They locked eyes for a second, before splitting. Natasha taking cover and waiting for Sharon as she took down three agents tagging her.

"Ready?" Natasha asked, "You take the left, I'll take the right side. Meet at the railings. We'll go into the data room together, in case there's resistance."

"Got it," Sharon said, shooting over them to bring down another agent, "I'll cover. Go."

The women ran into the warehouse, hidden in the shadows and soaking wet. Steve was right. They met resistance and it was heavy. Hydra agents swarmed out of the previously locked doors like rabid animals. The Strike team was behind them, gun fire and groans of pain surrounding the area quickly.

Sharon and Natasha separated, each planting explosives on either side and meeting again to run up the stairs to the main room. Below them, the SHIELD agents gave Hydra a run for their money. The ground littered with blood, bodies, and weapons, the Strike team moved forward and into the warehouse grounds with minimal loss.

Natasha caught the red, white, and blue from Steve's shield as it made it's way to the target. Seconds later, Sam and Steve were out of sight as they entered the building and made it to the experimentation room. A sudden anxiety crept over her, and it became one of her priorities to get to the data room, bring cameras up and make sure Steve was alright.

Because of the mission - she reminded herself - the mission had to go as planned.

"No signs of enemy resistance in the main room," Natasha said, an uneasy tension taking hold of her shoulders. She brought her guns and stingers down when they entered, "I wonder why?"

"Sensors read three life forms in the experimentation room. Sam and Steve are 1 minute away from going in," Sharon said, looking over to Natasha as her fingers worked quickly to bring cameras up. Within moments, and while Nat worked through the encrypted files, the screens lit up with the entire building.

The Strike team was moving forward, following Sam and Steve closely and destroying all crates of ammunition and machinery that was in their way. Natasha looked for Steve, finding him fighting down a group of agents with Sam in the lower level. They were a floor away from the target floor.

She shook her head and forced her eyes back onto the screen, the files of the experiments coming up before her. Dismantling the security codes and walls, Nat took everything. Her eyes taking in all that she read. It wasn't good.

Hydra soldiers. Super-soldier serum. Gamma radiation.

57 failed experiments.

3 successful experiments - phase 1.

"Shit, shit, shit," Natasha said, cursing her way through the files and slamming in the encrypted drive to take it all with her. She pressed her com-piece, "Steve, 3 successful experiments. Target floor reads three life forms. Prepare to face super-soldiers. Reads phase 1. They may be unstable - not clear."

"Copy that."

"What's going on?" Sharon said, walking over to her, a drive in her hand as well. Natasha took it and began counteracting the firewalls to erase all data.

"Hydra is creating super-soldiers just like we thought. Data says phase 1. 3 surviving."

"Any sign of Red Skull."

"Not yet," Nat said, "But we better get down there. Strike Team is not far behind. Steve and Sam are going to need the extra hands."

"We'll we've got 10 minutes before detonation. Sam and Steve are entering the experiment room and planting bombs. No resistance yet." Sharon said, looking at the screen, gun ready, "Ready when you are."

Natasha punched in the last of the codes before the screens and hard drives cracked and burst into short-circuited fires. The drives save in the pockets of her suit.

"Let's go."

"I would not be going anywhere, Agents."

The voice was nothing Natasha had heard before. Heavily accented and cold, almost taunting, almost deadly. The two agents froze and turned slowly.

"No super-soldiers in sight. Three Hydra agents only," Steve asked, through the com-piece, "Any sign of them?"

She didn't answer, instead looked over to Sharon, both debating what to do.

"Ah, yes, I was hoping to meet you both," he said, face red like the heart of a fire. Natasha took him in, the harsh bones of his hollow cheekbones, the sunken eyes, and the too-wide grin full of perfectly white teeth. Red Skull.

"Romanoff? Carter? Can you hear me?"

They were unmoving. Sharon's hands at her sides like Natasha. Red Skull grinned wickedly and stepped aside. Behind him, three soldiers entered - tall, sweating and eyes almost glowing green.

"I'd like for you to meet my super-soldiers," Red Skull said, his hand extended to the two blonde men and a black haired woman, "They are not your precious Captain America...they are more. They are better."

"Doesn't look like it," Natasha said, eyeing the soldiers. They looked disoriented and weary except for their ever-focused eyes. Red Skull lost his grin, his extended hand fisted menacingly.

"Sam. Data room. Red Skull. Now."

They were coming. They'd have a fair fight. Natasha sighed inwardly. Steve was coming.

"Let's see how the famous Black Widow deals with them," he said, a slight chuckle in his voice, "I'm sure you know how to deal with subjects of gamma radiation...like your Avenger friend."

"That's your attempt at re-creating the serum," Sharon said, unwavering, "Gamma radiation?"

"Agent 13, isn't it? Yes, I know all about your interesting lineage with SHIELD," Red Skull said, turning to the door, "Too bad it ends here. Soldiers, attack."

Like a blur, the three Hydra soldiers attacked. Two of them taking on Natasha. The other charging at Sharon. From the corner of her eye, she noticed Red Skull take his leave of the room, walking out as casual as he came in.

Natasha felt her first blow come from behind, making contact with her spine. She ground her teeth together to prevent a scream as she spun to hit the woman with her stingers while wrapping her legs in a hold on the man's torso. They didn't faze much; instead, grabbing her and throwing her over the fried computers. Then she groaned, feeling the ache of her arms and legs. It didn't stop her, though. Jumping up and over, Natasha latched onto one of them, digging her stingers in as she aimed her gun at the other.

Then they saw them. Sam and Steve running into the room.

"He left. Catch up to him, Rogers," Natasha yelled out. Steve didn't hesitate; he ran out of the room and towards Red Skull while Sam took on the super-soldier.

"Is it just me or are they getting greener," Sharon groaned out, trying to keep her opponent in a chokehold before being crushed into the wall.

"We need to knock them unconscious. Otherwise, they'll keep getting angry and they'll keep getting stronger," Natasha said, shoving her elbow on the Hydra soldier's neck, "We've got less than 4 minutes."

Sam knocked his opponent away when he sprung his wings open, sending the soldier crashing into the wall. He punched again and again, until the man was unconscious.

Natasha attacked, using all of her strength to keep her opponent on the ground as she recharged her stingers to finally bring him down. Sharon was besides her, hitting her enemy with a computer screen, and flinging kick after kick until he fell, unmoving.

No sooner had the second fallen, when her stingers lit up and she dug them into the Hydra soldier's neck, her groans dwindling until she stopped fighting.

"Three minutes. We need to get out of here," Sam shouted, pulling them out into the hall, "Data?"

"Secure," Natasha said, "Computers fried and their backups lost. Any sign of Steve?"

"Warehouse. Red Skull is trying to escape with a group of Hydra agents," Sharon panted, "Strike Team heading towards the quinjet. Building clear for detonation."

"We have to get Steve out of here. He won't leave if he thinks Red Skull can be stopped," Natasha said, running with the others.

They almost flew down the stairs, taking multiple steps to reach the ground floor again until they were closer to them. Red Skull throwing hits while Steve blocked them. The Strike Team was with him, battling off the rest of Hydra.

"You will not make it out in time, Captain Rogers," Red Skull taunted, "Risking the lives of your team to stop me. How time has changed you…."

"Nice try, Red Skull," Steve said, flinging him shield and knocking him back a few yards until he crashed against the wall, "How are you alive?"

"Excellent question, Captain. One I will share with you because of our history," Red Skull said, blocking Steve's hit and grabbing the shield - both men pushing against it, "The source I always searched for. The one that destroyed me was the one to bring me back. That is the beauty of the tesseract. I never died. I was simply transported."

"The tesseract…" Steve whispered, furiously, eyebrows furrowing in understanding, "Well, your time's about to end again, Skull. I will stop you. I'll find a way to kill you this time."

"Always so brave and ready for the fight. And still, always so underestimated by everyone but myself. I know your worth - one that rivals mine. My opposite. Which is why it will be me to destroy you one day, Captain America. Our history will finally be a full circle. We will be back to the beginning and then...things will end for good."

Red Skull all but growled as he aimed at Steve, reinstating their fight. Once more, the team was stuck - detained with fighting the last of Hydra in the warehouse with less than a minute before the detonations. Steve blocked Red Skull's kick, using his force to swing his shield to his face, knocking him back and onto the ground.

Besides them, Sharon, Sam and Natasha took on the Hydra agents that attacked them while three others headed towards a chopper, carrying with them black, reinforced briefcases.

"Whatever's on those briefcases must be important," Natasha said, "How about we get our hands on them?"

"On it," Sam answered, propelling himself towards the chopper already.

"I'll make sure Steve gets out okay," Nat said, sparing a second from looking at Steve and turning to Sharon, "You help Sam. Go!"

Natasha took down her opponents quickly, moving along with the Strike Team. The explosions began then, starting in the experimental room. The ground shook under them and Natasha quickly ordered the team to exit and head for the quinjet.

Red Skull turned towards the building, yelling in fury as he figured out what was happening.

"This wasn't just to find you, Skull," Steve said, punching him, "This was to stop your experiments."

"You will never stop me, Captain. Cut one head, two more shall take it's place."

"Steve!" Natasha yelled, as the explosions reached the warehouse. Bombs detonated besides them, sending Steve, Natasha and Red Skull flying off and crashing against the debris and fires. It was all around them, crackling and thunderous like the lightning outside.

Natasha landed face first on the ground, shielding her face and head as best she could. She felt Steve's body cover hers - his shield preventing the fires from getting to their faces. Once the impact of the explosion passed and the flames turned upward, he lowered the shield.

Steve shook of the surprise, rising from the ground and helping her up. There were a few yards away from the exit; Sam and Sharon ushering the Strike Team out and calling them over, briefcases in hand.

"Let's get out of here, Nat," Steve said, grabbing his shield, covered in green-black blood.

"Red Skull's blood?"

"I hope so. This is what Tony wanted."

"Where did he go?" Nat asked, both of them turning to the rest of the warehouse. Red Skull was nowhere in sight. Neither was the chopper.

"He's gone."

"We'll be gone too if we don't hurry up," Nat said, as they took off running. They were nearing the warehouse opening when the larger explosions hit. The ground crumbled beneath them as they exited; fires surrounding them and the heat detonating the rest of the explosives.

Another round hit. Natasha and Steve flew with the impact, debris falling onto them quickly - consuming them in smoke. She reached for his hand, pulling him up and out of the falling debris' range. The ceiling was now crumbling around them; the building would go down in seconds.

Steve pulled her close, into the safety of his shield as they barged through; her guns ready, her mind focused even though the tingling sensation of his warmth was able to creep through, enough to distract her for a second and think about how dangerous this had turned out to be.

Somehow, they managed to exit. They'd made it out. Safe. And alive.

Then it happened.

Natasha didn't see it sooner, but as soon as she felt the hard, coldness of the rain, she felt the sting of a bullet. From above, the chopper shot at them, mercilessly. Groaning and falling to the ground, she clutched her thigh marred with multiple gun wounds.

"Romanoff, watch out!" Sharon screamed, pushing her out of the way. The bullet grazed her side, staining her white suit and exposing her bloodied flesh. She groaned out in pain while Steve and Sam blocked another round of bullets before Red Skull's chopper disappeared from sight.

"Come on," Steve said, "Hold on to my shoulder, Nat. Sharon, can you make it to the jet?"

"Don't worry about me. We've got to get out of here - we've got the data, this thing," she answered, waving the briefcase in her hand, "And that goo on your shield. We've got enough information for next time. Only if we get out of here. This place is crumbling and it won't be long before more of Hydra comes back."

"She's got a point, Rogers. The rain will wash off Skull's blood if we don't move," Natasha said, holding in a pained whimper as she tried to use her injured leg. Steve held her higher, helping relieve the tension.

He nodded - looking down to her and Sharon before looking over to Sam.

"You heard the ladies. We've got to go."

The jet was ready by the time they arrived. In no time, they were off and headed back to the Avenger's tower. The team dispersed to their own groups; many of them resting on the benches and floor of the jet cleaning their wounds or weapons.

With Natasha and Sharon shot; the shield and the briefcases were set aside as Steve hurried them in order to get cleaned up - but not too far (Natasha's request as she groaned when her leg was moved).

"Have you talked to Wanda, Vision or Rhodes?" Sam asked, as Steve prepped the med-kits for them, "Things are okay down at the facility?"

"Stark has kept in touch with them. So far, everything's alright. Fury and Hill went back to it this morning."

"Are they expecting us to arrive there?"

"Yes, but we've got to clear some things up first...like why Skull's blood looks like that," Steve said, pointing to his shield as Natasha worked on collecting the samples, "And we need to figure out what those briefcases contain."

"We can't open them yet. They're locked through some algorithm. Our best shot is Stark."

"Which is why we're heading to the tower. Fury and Hill are laying low because they're expecting the data to be given to them anyways," Steve said, looking over to Natasha once more. She worked diligently and he knew it was to distract herself from the pain.

"Come on then," Sam said, "Let's help them out. You take care of Sharon. I think she needs a faster hand that mine; she's already stopped the bleeding. I'll make sure Natasha's leg gets stitched."

"Right. Thanks, Sam," Steve answered, shaking his head slightly and turning to Sharon, who was sitting up - back to him - and trying to clean her wound. He hurried to her, kit in hand.

Natasha eyed Steve from under her lashes as she continued to work on the shield. Sam approached her cautiously.

"Good mission. I'd say it was a success, even though Skull got away," he began, catching her attention. Natasha looked up at him, "I mean, aside from you and Sharon getting shot."

"At least we have more ground to go on - we can answer a lot of questions and SHIELD will know what to look for."

"How you holding up?" he asked. She offered a shrug and finished the shield, placing it next to her quietly, "Well, tough girl, I brought you a med-kit. You do use those things. Don't you?"

"You really should stop being in awe over us Avengers. You're one, too."

"It's nice to hear someone say that," he said, smiling and sitting next to her. He opened the kit and took out the necessary to clean the bullet scrapes. He didn't say anything else, neither did she. But his expression - it told her he wanted to talk. Natasha noticed Sam partially blocked her view of Steve and Sharon and didn't know whether it was on purpose or not.

Not that she wanted to dwell on that. Not the way Steve worked on Sharon's wound, one much worse than hers. Not the way he distracted her with a lighthearted conversation that made her smile every now and then. Not the way Sharon had pushed Natasha out of the way. Not the way Steve had gone to help Sharon and not her.

"I told him. To go with Sharon," Sam said. Natasha blinked a couple of times before looking over to her teammate. He was waiting, disinfectant in hand. There was a too-knowing look in his eye. One that made her remember their talk at Peggy's funeral. She shifted and tore off the rest of her suit leg.

"You want me to write it on the report," she responded, taking the soaked gauze and hastily pressing her leg. Natasha swallowed back a wince as Sam unrolled the bands that would go around her thigh.

"I'm just telling you so you can drop the death stare. He wanted to come over to you, but Steve's got a quicker hand at stitching. Sharon needs that at the moment."

"Don't know why you think I care."

"Spend enough time around Steve Rogers and you end up caring about the people that surround you," he said, sighing and pushing her hand away as it reached for the gauze, "Lift your leg, let me wrap this around….Look Natasha, I don't know what's going on. And I don't pretend to be close to you as I know Steve is, so it's okay. I don't expect you to share your feelings or your secrets. But you are on my team. We have trained and fought alongside each other long enough. And I know something is off."

"You're damn right something's off," Natasha answered, trying to reign in the conversation back to her control before the inevitable was exposed, "I was careless in the field and now I owe Sharon. She moved me out of the bullet's trajectory. I don't like having debts."

"That's what's wrong?"

"What else would be?"

They were silent - eyes challenging the other's pair. Green against brown until one faltered. Sam shook his head and blinked slowly, almost tired.

"We've spoken about this already, Natasha. You're getting closer to the too-late phase. If you want to act, you do it now. Don't go hurting yourself or...hurting others."

"My answer stays the same," she said, looking down to her leg.

"And my advice does too. I sure hope you start believing it."

"Sam. Why tell me these things? Why come to me like you expect it to be different - I'm not made for that sort of thing."

"I tell you because I have yet to hear you say you don't care about Steve. That you don't feel what he feels - that you don't love him. You are human, Natasha. It is completely normal for you to fail, and learn and make mistakes and succeed and change," Sam said, voice low and steady, "The way you act betrays your words. The way you were looking at him as he walked over to Sharon. That's called longing. And it's not the first time I see it."

"Maybe you just want to see things that aren't there, Sam. I know what I am."

"But do you know who you are?"

"Apparently I'm someone who isn't a very good spy - if that was a secret to keep, which is not, I'd be terrible at it."

"Not really," Sam said, shaking his head, "I just...maybe you are right and I'm biasedly trying to get two of my friends together when it won't work. But I might also be doing that because what you guys have would confuse any other person. You two are close."

"Being close to a guy doesn't equate me to his inevitable romantic interest."

"I'm not saying that, Natasha. And you aren't. Giving a shot at a relationship - a romantic one; with Steve or with anyone - it's a start at forgiving yourself for yourself."

"Tried that. Didn't end well."

"Maybe next time allow yourself to be loved and love someone not because you think both of you are monsters and it'll be easier that way," Sam sighed, ignoring her quizzical brow and scrutinizing gaze, "Yeah, okay, sue me...I know because I may have overheard you and Steve talking in the training room. But that's not the point. My point is - don't ever sell yourself short, Romanoff. Everybody here knows your value; not as a weapon, as a person and a friend."

Natasha sighed, giving him the impression she was annoyed and finished with the conversation. Sadly, she couldn't distract herself with anything else as he'd already finished up with her leg. Instead, she ignored him choosing to lean back onto the wall and close her eyes.

"Don't worry about waking me. I know when we'll arrive."

"Do not disturb, right. I get it. The get-the-hell-away-from-me stare was enough for me to get the idea," he said, grabbing her hand and startling her, "But, Natasha, I do believe in you just as I do Steve. You two are the strongest people I have the pleasure of knowing. I believe in you, okay."

Natasha didn't answer, but couldn't help squeezing her eyes shut to prevent her from opening them and meeting Sam's supportive gaze. She swallowed hard and controlled her breathing - all routine for her. It was no big deal. She felt him let go, hear the faint sound of him leaving - of walking away and taking the shield with him.

She scowled internally. Longing. No, it was just his imagination. She was Natasha Romanoff, and as the Black Widow - she didn't do longing.

So naturally, she pretended to sleep, while her mind messed with her - just like it loved to do. It brought up unwanted snippets of memories and experiences. It mixed the good and the bad; the tortures and the laughs until she didn't know how to feel about either one of them.

Not far from her, she felt Steve's movements as he walked back from the bench where Sharon was. Someone followed him, Nat thought, most likely Sam. She remained un-moving. Memories getting the best of her - and as hard as she tried - they always did.

The trip back to the tower was felt quick, even though the entire Strike Team was tired, dirty, and nursing at least one wound - bullet scrapes here and there. Natasha spent the rest of her time avoiding opening her eyes, battling internal demons, forcing herself to ignore the resonating words Sam had told her. It was upsetting her the way she was breaking her walls, leaving her exposed and vulnerable. Natasha didn't need the team feeling sorry for her or telling her what she felt or didn't.

"Nat said not to wake her," Sam whispered, close enough for Natasha to know they were close to her. She heard a soft, tired sigh - Steve's.

"She must be tired; but Nat's got to head straight to the med wing. If she waits any longer, her leg won't heal well," he whispered.

"I already called, Stark is sending docs their way. When he found out Sharon and Natasha had been hurt, he contacted Dr. Cho. Look here they come."

"Right," he answered, as Natasha opened her eyes to see the medical team rush in, splitting to aid her and Sharon, "Okay, I'll meet you later. I've got to take Skull's blood samples and the briefcases to Tony. He's waiting for me. I gotta figure out if he's the real one. With Dr. Cho here, she might help."

"Didn't he say the tesseract brought him back," Sam asked, their voices sounding farther away. Natasha waved off the help and jumped onto the stretcher.

"If Nat's taught me anything is to never believe what they tell you," Steve said, chuckling, "That could be a lie to keep us off track. I need to figure this out - I need to put a stop to Red Skull, whether it is or isn't him. With the information Natasha gathered, we should find out pretty soon. Speaking of..."

He turned to her as she passed by; Steve's eyes met hers and smiled.

"How're you holding up?" he asked her.

"I think I'll live through this one; tough call," Natasha said, looking over to Sharon who was being wheeled out after her, "How about you, Carter?"

"Been better," Sharon said, wincing slightly as the team rolled her away, she lay back down and sighed, "But, yes, I'll survive."

"Agent Romanoff," the medic urged.

"Right, right," Natasha said, rolling her eyes, but taking the zip drives from her cleverly hidden pockets and turning to Steve, "Here. Get these to Stark. He'll make copies. Get what we need. Then I'll give it to SHIELD. Tell him not to tamper with it; otherwise, Hill will notice."

"Will do," Steve answered, "I'll tell you how that goes."

She didn't respond, the medics were already wheeling her away. Natasha dropped back down to her stretcher and waited. With Cho around, she wouldn't have to heal on her own - she hated that, even with slightly accelerated healing processes. Natasha hated being useless. At least that was a plus. Cho would have her ready for another mission in no time.

And she'd take the opportunity to talk to Sharon - as much as she'd want to avoid talking to her again, Natasha needed to acknowledge what happened in the field.

Grinding her teeth, she closed her eyes until they wheeled her into the medical room.

"Dr. Cho?" Nat asked, when she didn't see her around.

"Busy right now," an assistant said, aiming to help Nat into the cradle. Natasha waved him off, "At the moment, she's overseeing Agent 13 regeneration process. It should be over in 10 minutes as we started hers before you."

"Alright then," Nat said, now in place, "Fire it up."

"Just remain still, Agent Romanoff. You should not feel any discomfort," the assistant explained, "Your regeneration should be ready in 12 minutes."

And so she did. Natasha stayed completely immobile, only her eyes wandering to the room surrounding her. The whiz of the machine kept her memories at bay - the ones taking a hold of her on the jet, the impending conversation with Sharon giving her a slight headache.

She really hated having a debt.

And maybe today was just not the right day to dwell on it but here she was with nothing else to do but wait her regeneration out and hope the rest of the day went well.

Something inside her - call it a gut feeling - told her it wouldn't be that way.

It only made it worse that she'd chewed Sharon out earlier that day. Natasha didn't feel guilty; didn't regret the conversation, but maybe she'd been far too defensive. Perhaps Sharon was at the brink of exploding too; after all, she'd just lost her aunt and was being sent off on a mission.

Natasha can't expect everyone to have the composure she did - that had taken years of forced training to perfect. She sighed internally.

Then there was Sam with his noble words of comfort. Natasha wasn't sure if she wanted to avoid them from now on or welcome them because he meant well. She couldn't help but have a soft spot for the guy. Afterall, there was no other person - aside from Clint - that had helped her out as much in times of trouble. She remembered D.C. well. He took them in when the world was after them.

But, damn it, it seemed like his mission was to make her admit something he wanted to see.

Maybe it was something he saw in her.

Something she didn't want to admit.

Something she was too afraid to recognize.

"All done, Agent Romanoff."

"Fastest 12 minutes of my life," she said, lightheartedly. After all, she had to save face, "Thank you."

"Ready to stand?" the assistant said, opening the cradle and letting Natasha get off, "How does it feel? Any discomfort?"

"None."

"Then you are free to go."

She didn't spare another word and walked out of medical. Natasha intended on finding Sharon, but to her surprise, the blonde agent was waiting outside, suit in need of repairs like her own.

"Carter."

"Romanoff."

"Good as new, I suppose?" Natasha asked, looking over to the exposed area of her midriff - not a single drop of smeared blood or protruding flesh.

"Yeah, it was my first time using the cradle and it freaked me out," she said, her voice evidently different than before, "I can't tell the difference."

"Believe me you won't. Look, I want to acknowledge what I owe you. You pushed me out of the way."

"Romanoff, you don't owe me anything. Think of it as my way of apologizing for how I acted this morning," Sharon said, "As hard as it is for me to admit it. I wasn't acting professionally. You are right. This isn't some high school and it most definitely isn't a competition. I was running the risk of viewing things that way."

"I understand. Believe me, I've blurred the lines between teammates before," Natasha said, keeping the memories of Ultron and her time in Sokovia at bay.

"It's more than that. I felt protective of Captain Rogers because I thought I knew him. In reality, it was Aunt Peggy that did; I know him through her eyes. But that was decades ago. And while I see why it isn't my place to feel that way, I understand why it is for you."

"Steve and I have been through many missions. Time creeps up on you and in this line of work, you need all the trusted hands you can get," Natasha said, hesitating to say the words she was planning on spewing out - as if they burned her, formed a knot in her throat, "I'm sure one day you can get there. And if your feelings for Steve grow-"

"Stop," Sharon said, interrupting Natasha, her hand in the air between them, "You don't have to say those things. I'm a grown woman, Romanoff. I know when I should and shouldn't pursue something. But aside from that, I can tell when a person is meant for someone else."

Natasha's face was stoic, unreadable, but she knew what continued - she could tell what Sharon was leading up to.

"Steve and I are partners, nothing more."

"With all due respect, Romanoff, I know partners. I've had them ever since I started with SHIELD, my time with the CIA. Yes, you have each other's backs - there's a bond created. But what you and Captain Rogers have is far more profound. It's trust and comfort."

"It doesn't go beyond that."

"I'm going to steal your words," she said, looking at her without wavering, "In our line of work, you don't get that often."

There was a heavy pressure in Nat's chest - it took her a few seconds to realize it was her heart thumping away in her chest.

No.

She had to ignore it. She was too far gone.

Denied it for far too long.

"Romanoff," Sharon called out, her voice calm and steady, "Am I wrong? I'm not asking you because I want to take advantage of your answer and get close to Captain Rogers. Believe it or not, I'm asking as a person that doesn't mean any harm."

"No such person exists."

"Captain Rogers does."

"Steve…" Natasha said almost defeated, voice betraying her for a millisecond - trembling at the utterance of the syllable that formed his name. Sharon noticed it. She smiled, but it wasn't reciprocated, "Look, I'm not made to feel those things, Carter. It isn't who I am."

"We're all human, Romanoff. Why don't you stop seeing yourself as an asset. The person I fought with today - the one that took on two super-soldiers and wasn't afraid of Red Skull - the one that helped Captain Rogers move his ass out of that warehouse. She's the type of SHIELD agent the organization needs; the agents this organization was made for."

"That has nothing to do with your insinuations of my romantic entanglements with Steve…" she said, catching herself, "The supposed entanglements."

"It might," Sharon said, pursing her lips together before speaking again, "But I won't go where I'm not welcome...or allowed...all I wanted to say, aside from clearing up that you don't owe me anything...I wanted to say that I understand. I'm not apologizing for my behavior, but I admit I was misguided. And if there is something there with Captain Rogers, cherish it, Romanoff. It's not everyday you get peace in this world. Why not nurture what you've found and make it grow?"

"I'll see you at the mission debriefing, Carter."

"Very well," she answered, not really surprised by Natasha's answer. After nodding her head and smiling a tiny bit to her, she turned and headed to the room Stark had given her. That left Natasha alone in the grand, empty hallway of the tower to contemplate what the hell had just happened.

She leaned against the wall, hands at her side and mind focused on making sense of her jumbled feelings. Among the pressure, the weight crushing at her ribs, there was a bit of light. Something that helped her breathe easier. A part of her recognized the feeling; memories of Steve rushed before her eyes before she put a stop to them.

No.

She had to ignore it. She was too far gone.

Denied it for far too long.

No.

She had to ignore it. She was too far gone.

Denied it for far too long.

"You're losing it, Romanoff. Don't let words get to you. You're trained for this. You know what you're good at, and that is being the best there is. You're the best because you don't get tangled up. Don't let unnecessary judgments cloud your view," she whispered, like a mantra without heart, "You know how these things end. You don't need to ruin it for you. Or for Steve."

She pressed her head even harder - the wall standing firmly behind her as she tried to ground her skull to it in order to erase thoughts. But they were there.

Of course she knew how things ended.

Her judgement had been clouded with Bruce. Not only had she allowed herself to treat him like a target, manipulating him to get his attention - to feel what she felt; she'd also played damsel in distress when Ultron captured her. Sure, she'd sent Barton her coordinates. Sure, she could have gotten out of that cell in no time, hands tied. But she didn't.

She had run the risk of accommodating herself to him and she hadn't even realized it.

And then, probably the worst, she'd allowed her judgement - twisted and filled with self-hate - to convince herself she wanted to leave the mission, leave her team. To disappear with Bruce.

She would've left Clint alone. She would've left Steve alone. She would have given up on clearing her ledger. And that was not her.

And when she'd chosen herself; he chose himself.

That's how things ended. A string of nightmares and feelings of dejection.

Shaking her head once again, Natasha sighed - neither lamenting nor regretting, but fortifying her strength to keep going. She sobered up the dormant courage within her and peeled herself off the wall.

There was a mission to complete - one that Steve and Tony were working on up at the labs.

Natasha didn't wait any longer and hurried up; debating whether to change or head straight for the lab. Her suit wasn't that bad - her leg was the only thing that had taken damage. She decided to visit the lab first; make sure Stark had taken the data out successfully and was working on opening the briefcases.

By now she could see them, through the glass windows of the large laboratory - Steve had his back to stairway she was in, still in his dirty suit. Stark was next to him, talking animatedly and holding up the samples she'd collected. He seemed to be talking to Dr. Cho - Natasha couldn't tell.

She took the last, small flight of stairs before standing before the lab entrance as it opened automatically to give her access.

It wasn't what she was expecting.

Of course, she'd expected to see Stark babbling and Steve nodding and Dr. Cho working.

Instead, she was met face to face with the stunned face of a different kind of doctor.

Bruce Banner

There was a sudden stillness in the air around her; for a second, she figured it was her mind playing illusions. But the sudden jerky movements from Steve, to her right, brought it into perspective. Banner really was standing there, in the middle of the lab.

"Romanoff," Stark said, in the otherwise suddenly silent room "About time you arrived, how's the leg?"

"It's working," she answered, voice monotone. But she felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her - surprises; she wasn't fond of them. Her cheeks felt cold. Her mind raced.

Wasn't she just fighting herself over this seconds ago?

Then her mind pieced it together. What had been bugging since they left on the mission.

What Rogers was keeping from her.

He knew.

He'd known.

She tore her eyes from everyone else to look at him; face emotionless and unreadable. And of course he was looking at her; slightly less composed than her. His brows were brought together and his lips were situated in a permanent apologizing frown. It was unclear to her what Steve saw in her eyes, but it must have been bad. He made the attempt to step closer to her but the tensing of her shoulders and the rest of the Avengers gave him a pause. He recollected instantly, eyes still locked together. Until her pursed lips stung and her eyes - she knew they were accusing.

Natasha looked away from him and remembered who she was, above everything else - the Black Widow - master of keeping things under her control.

She'd chosen herself - it was time to show it.

"So, are you not going to tell me what you've found out about this mess, Stark?" she said, walking closer to the lab table where the samples were being tested. Holographic screens surrounded them, all running tests and algorithms.

"You did an excellent job with the samples."

"Tell me something I don't know," she said, "Dr. Cho, maybe you can do better?"

"Hello Agent Romanoff," Cho greeted, smiling and coming closer. Natasha saw Steve stay put, out of the corner of her eye, "The samples you brought in - it's something we've never seen before, a mix of the super-soldier serum and gamma radiation-infused blood samples."

"How is that possible?" Natasha said, looking over to Banner and Stark. She was fiercely proud of herself when she noticed the two men move toward her in fiercely awkward composure.

"We're figuring it out," Stark said, "From what we've pieced together, it's very likely that this is indeed Red Skull."

"When we separate the blood cells infected with the Hulk blood," Bruce said, voice softer than Stark's - more tense - "The blood sample matched Johann Shmidt, according to the records kept by SHIELD. He's the real Skull."

Natasha turned to Steve, who was quietly listening to all of this. He looked up to her when she turned, eyes tormented and she wasn't entirely sure if it was because he'd kept Bruce's arrival from her or because his lifelong enemy was alive and well.

"He told me the tesseract was what kept him alive," he said, arms crossed, voice low, "Didn't kill him...just transported him."

"And how the hell did this get mixed up with Hulk blood?" she asked, looking around the room until her eyes landed on Bruce - much to her dismay, "How did he get his hands on it?"

"I'm not sure of that yet. The only successful experimentation with gamma radiation created me - all other attempts have failed."

"He didn't need to be successful multiple times," Dr. Cho said, "It's possible all he had to do was get enough right to inject himself."

"Could he have recreated the experimentation?" Steve asked, "There was more than enough equipment at the warehouse to do so, and gamma radiations were picked up by SHIELD."

"It's possible, but highly unlikely. Yes, we're are dealing with an impressive brain here. Red Skull managed to transport back from wherever he was, further his experimentation and research right under SHIELD radar, and get away with it, too," Tony said, looking at the screens, "But I'm willing to bet he has a control group - ground zero blood sample to work from."

There was a sudden click of the briefcase. All heads turned to it. Steve stepped in to open it; the case heavily reinforced with a cooling system.

"And it looks like he's willing to share," he said, turning the case for the others to see. Natasha cursed under her breath, eyes looking upon syringes containing dark green liquid, viscous and almost glowing.

"Christ, he's farming the blood. That's where he's getting the soldiers from…" Tony said, looking up to Steve, "Your serum can't be recreated."

"No, but I'm guessing Skull is using gamma radiation as the missing link," Banner said.

"I'll have to test these samples," Dr. Cho said, picking a syringe, "Dr. Banner, do you have any idea how they could have gotten to your blood?"

"I'm the only source. From what I remember, no one has taken a blood sample from me in years," he answered, looking over to Tony, "Right?"

"Don't look at me, I haven't done anything."

"Whether you are or aren't the only one, we have to get to his source," Natasha said, "Cut the root and make sure he doesn't keep reproducing it. The soldiers we encountered in the warehouse. It read Phase 1. He might still be in an experimental phase. They didn't look very healthy, to begin with."

"Even if we do get to the source. Even if we find out how he managed to extract it from me…" Banner said, his wild eyes focused on scanning the entire table, "The blood in his system is working - the serum and the gamma cells have bonded. Skull can use that as his source now."

"Then we'll stop him," Steve said.

"Steve, you can't undo the gamma radiation. You can't take it out of his blood," Bruce said, shaking his head, "Believe me. I've tried."

"That's not what I meant, Banner."

"Captain Rogers," Dr. Cho called, "There might be a way to figure this out. I have both original sources here. You and Dr. Banner are the clean samples. Perhaps I can work backwards...figure out how to untangle the gamma cells from serum cells. If I succeed, I can come up with a formula to counteract Red Skull's blood."

"You think that would work?" Tony said, coming closer

"We have no idea what we're tampering with. My blood has never been experimented with," Bruce said, "And I'm sure Steve has been as protective as me."

"Unless SHIELD took advantage of me being unconscious at the beginning…" Steve said, deep in thought, "How long do you think Skull has been back and working on this?"

"What are you on?" Natasha said, her mind working as quickly as him, "You don't think it's been under our noses all these years?"

"It wouldn't be surprising. We're talking about Fury - of course he'd want to have as much information on the people who would comprise of the most powerful team around."

"Can you guys clue us in?" Tony said, looking around, "We're dying to know."

"I was under SHIELD protection when I was thawed. Dr. Banner, there have been moments you've been unconscious after a transformation - when you end up in the med wing. It isn't too far fetched to think Hydra's been working on this for a while and that SHIELD blood samples could easily have been Hydra samples."

"After all," Natasha added, "Hydra's been SHIELD for longer than we can guess."

"Well, shit," Tony said, "That's comforting."

"It's useless to dwell on what has already happened," Dr. Cho said, "This is where we are now. Red Skull has a serum - a fusion of soldier serum and Hulk serum. He's figured out a way to fuse them. What we have to do now is make an antidote."

"She's right," Natasha said, "That will put a stop to more super-soldiers and to Red Skull."

"Then we have work to do," Banner said, "Dr. Cho and I can start working on the serum."

"And we need to figure out where he is," Tony said, "I'll get to looking for him. Something tells me I'm looking for gamma radiation."

"Keep checking around Germany," Steve said, "Skull kept on bringing up our history. Going full circle. Something tells me he's sticking around."

"I'll find him in no time, Rogers…" Tony said, bringing up more screens, and waving the zip drive, "But first, I'm going to sift through this baby. See what trinkets I find. Then you can take it to the lovely Hill. In the meantime, get cleaned up. I'm sure you'll be flying out of here again pretty soon."

Natasha nodded, wasting no time in removing her hands from the lab table and walking out of the way before Steve came up to her. She knew he'd want to talk about why the hell Banner was there and explain why he'd kept it from her.

But she was angry.

And if he approached her now, she'd respond accordingly.

Natasha Romanoff would bite.

The longer she avoided the conversation, the better it would be for him.

"Natasha," Steve said, far off behind her, "Wait."

She ignored him and kept walking down the hall of the building, not really knowing where to go. Natasha heard his footsteps as they got closer to her. Her hands fisted immediately but she kept walking - faster.

"Nat, just listen to me."

But she didn't want to. And so, she kept walking away from him until she got to the room she'd stayed in before.

"Natasha, listen to me," he said, catching her before she slammed the door on his face. Natasha turned to him, angry and disappointed.

"Let go of the door."

"Nat-"

"Don't, Rogers," she said, "I have every right to be angry. And staying away from you right now will be the best thing to do because I want to hurt you right now. Let go of the door."

Steve's face softened visibly - there was a sort of pain on his face. Natasha could tell he was genuinely sorry for putting her in a difficult position - but not for calling Banner.

"Nat, Tony and I talked about calling Dr. Banner this morning before we left to Germany. He figured if we were able to get a blood sample, Banner could help Dr. Cho with questions we would not be able to answer. And we were right."

"I told you right away - I told you Hill had me on an extra mission. I trusted you," she said, letting go of the door and walking away from him, "How could you not return the damn favor?"

"I didn't think..." he said, slowly, "I didn't think he'd be here. Tony was going to meet with him and Dr. Cho down at the compound - they were going to be at the facility. I was going to tell you we'd found Banner. I just...didn't want to make you uncomfortable sooner."

"You were going to tell me about Banner - how fucking convenient of you to tell me this now...I don't believe you, Steve."

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth - that you didn't trust me enough to let me know you had contacted him. That he was going to help with this mission. You didn't trust me to make the right decision."

"Natasha, that is taking things way out of proportion. I didn't want to see you upset. I didn't want you to be uncomfortable unnecessarily. Okay, now I see, I was wrong. But I didn't want you to think he was back for sure. We don't even know that much."

"So much for letting me figure things out on my own then. Don't ever get the idea that you need to coddle me."

"Christ, Natasha, I was just trying to think of you," Steve said, face reddened with a hint of anger; his eyebrows furrowed dangerously now, "Stop trying to convince me and yourself that I don't trust you. I didn't want to see you get hurt again. That's all."

"Lies," she said - something inside her awoke; something unhealthy and painful. A Natasha that hadn't been around for a while - one that was angry and confused and uncertain and one that loved lashing out to get rid of the pain that bubbled inside of her.

This was what she'd been afraid of. The Black Widow's bite.

"I'm sorry, Nat. I was trying to avoid...I don't know...I guess I didn't want you to face him when you've been feeling so off lately."

"Save it Rogers. I can't believe you didn't trust me with this. You lied to me! You knew and I asked you about it and you didn't come clean! You were supposed to be different - the one I could trust and you bring Banner into this."

"Natasha, it's for the mission. I didn't call him to talk to you. For you to confront him - whether you're ready or not for that. I didn't call him to fix things between the team; between you two. I called him because we needed him for the mission."

"How did you know where he was? You knew already?"

"No. I didn't, but Tony did. He's been looking for Bruce every since he flew off after Sokovia. Tony had several locations pinpointed. When we actually got a drop on him, Tony asked him to come over and help with the area we needed him for. I figured telling you we'd found him was enough. I was going to let you chose what to do with that information."

"I don't believe you," she repeated.

"Nat, c'mon. I've always been honest with you."

"Until today."

Steve ran a tired hand down his face; his eyes desperately searching for the right words. None came to mind, by the look of things. Before anger got the best of him too, he pressed his lips together and turned his back to her to settle his breathing.

Natasha clenched her fists. Stepping in front of him, she looked up to Steve defiantly.

"Don't turn your back, Rogers," she said, cheeks red, "You couldn't called someone else - anyone - Dr. Cho could have done it alone. When you saw them here you could have warned me instead of waiting there and letting me walk in there like a fool. You knew I'd show up eventually. But you stayed quiet. And I went in there unprepared. You know what he caused me - you know!"

"No, Natasha, I don't. I never did. Because even when you talked to me, you didn't."

"You said you'd wait until I was ready to talk about all of it."

"And I am, but don't blame me for Bruce being here. He's part of our team, Romanoff. We can't just exile him because you don't want to deal with it. Guess what, others in the team go through the exact same thing. Everyday."

"It's different."

"Why? Because you think I'm not in love with you anymore?"

They froze, looking at each other before breaking eye contact - Steve the first to backtrack, cheeks flushed. Natasha took a subconscious step closer to him. Only the sound of her heart thumping away in rapid, uneven beats kept her focused.

Her mind had turned white - instantly had forgotten what they'd been arguing about; Bruce had diminished to the side like a burning candle at the last of its hour, out-shined by something else. Something forgotten from a person whose embers she'd thought cold and lacking the hypnotic glow.

Had her work all that year been in vain? Steve still loved her? No. No. No.

The idea only brought a comfort she wasn't expecting - the revival of a loss she'd mourned without mourning. A voice deep in the crevices of her heart that screamed yes.

It was far more difficult to push herself away from that yes and cling to the no - to continue pressing it onto herself that it was the right thing to do when around her she was seeing a second chance and something she was wholeheartedly afraid of.

It was a curious feeling within her; devastation like flames destroying her surroundings and when she least expected it - air, fresh like spring, filled her lungs, cleared the ashes. And for a moment there was clarity.

Then the moment was gone.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, composure regained, "I'll be in the lab with Bruce and Tony. This mission is my priority, Natasha. Stopping Red Skull is what I was created for - whether I was a good soldier or a good man and what I became between then and now; it doesn't matter. I need to stop him. It's going to be my priority. And that's why I called Banner. I didn't want to hurt you but I need all the help I can get. I'm sorry you can't trust me anymore. I'm sorry I made you feel like I don't trust you...but I'm not sorry I called him...I can't...I won't…"

"Steve wait…" Nat whispered, as he stepped further away from her. He looked about ready to flinch from her touch - he looked exposed and vulnerable. Shit, "Forget about that. What you said...we-"

"I can't," he said, walking back until he turned and left.

And the most conflicting part of all of this mess, Natasha thought, was the incessant tug at the pit of her stomach and the disturbing and unsettling bundle of nervousness that took hold of her lungs. It was the feeling between entrapment and wanting everything to be pushed away - whether good or bad.

She just needed to be alone on the inside, ridding herself of all the feelings unknown to her. Everyone in their sanity is afraid of the unknown. And to her - it felt like she was facing a black hole.

She'd pushed away feeling like this for so long, it was almost impossible to know what the feelings within her really represented. All she could do was take deep breaths, ignore the slight trembling of her cold hands, and convince herself it was all confusion.

It was all a toxic mixture of curiosity, loneliness and the desire to feel normal - maybe it was that. Maybe it was something entirely different - something that should be feared for it had the ability to completely destroy her.

Maybe above everything else - it was was Natasha's greatest fear of believing Steve could still be in love with her. Because if it were true - she'd realize just how completely in love with Steve she was - or could be - or had been - or would always be.

After all, love was red, bold unwavering red; one that could never wash away - like his hold on her and her firm hold on him.

But with this quasi realization came the ice cold truth.

Natasha Romanoff, you are a mess and you fucked it up.

There's no going anywhere now - forward or back. You're stuck and it's right in the middle between knowing you love him and knowing there's nothing you'll do about it.

And it's your own damn fault.