Consider Adrien

Nino: Riddle me this

Getting to know Adrien was not an impatient man's game.

It had seemed easy at first. Adrien was earnest and kind, and he seemed honest to a fault. But that was the first hurdle: Adrien was a lying liar that lied and he lied well. To the point that even now, months after Nino had first seen Adrien lie to protect Chloe (of all people!), he still couldn't tell when he was dealing with the real Adrien.

For all the world to see, Adrien was perfect. He was very pretty. He was crazy smart. He knew music, he fenced, he spoke different languages, he was humble and generous and he couldn't do a damn thing wrong. Because he knew how to play everyone. He had smiles for every situation. Charming conversation for any occasion. Polite witticisms to make elderly men chortle and innocent questions to earn the adoration of every woman over the age of twenty.

None of it was real.

Nino figured that out on the first day, when he saw Marinette chew Adrien out and watched the perfect model sink into the shoulders of a very lonely kid.

The problem was that Adrien Agreste was a valuable commodity, and he was willing to sell every inch of himself for a hint of affection. Ideally his father's, but pretty much anyone's would do the job. Hence the idiot's still ongoing friendship with Chloe.

It was stuff like that that made getting to know Adrien so hard. It sure made it annoying sometimes. Sometimes Nino wanted to punch Adrien in the face, and not just because he wanted to see the reaction. Sometimes, he wanted to turn around in class and ask Marinette what she was thinking, drooling over someone who actively tried to make people think he had all the depth of a teaspoon.

"Riddles have been an important literary device since the first stories, including myth and religion," Miss Bustier explained as she picked up her chalk. "It is by examining the play of logic, symbolism, and language that we, as readers of literature, are forced to engage."

Nino drummed his pen between his fingers and desk, watching Adrien quietly copy down notes. Today was one of those days Nino found himself mildly annoyed by his best friend. He'd spent all of lunch on a shoot and was still wearing the makeup, making him look even more flawless than usual. He tried to avoid talking in class, all the better to pay attention, so he had barely said two words to Nino all day. He'd be running off to a Chinese class after school, too. And he did homework after that, no matter how much Nino tried to convince him to slack off, and then he'd probably go to bed because heaven forbid he risk his father's wrath with midnight Skype calls or gaming sessions. Perfect little prince in his perfect little tower.

"But some riddles are, of course, not meant to be solved. They are nothing more than plays on language, meant to distract and derail. Lewis Carroll, for example, was fond of nonsensical riddles," Bustier continued. "But it should be noted that his most famous nonsense riddle did indeed have an answer in the end. Can anyone tell me what the riddle was?"

Surprisingly, it was Juleka to raise her hand. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"That's right. So class, why is a raven like a writing desk? Can anyone give me the answer?"

Silence greeted her. In the end, Alya gave it the old college try.

"They both have quills?"

"Often quoted, not correct. The answer Carroll eventually gave was 'Because it can produce a few notes, though they are very flat, and it is never put with the wrong end in front'. To explain the second half of that—" She paused to write it on the board in English. Most of them stared blankly, their written English still only passable, but Nino couldn't help but notice Adrien's lips twitching. He even lifted a hand to hide a smile. "—on the original printing, Carroll wrote the word 'never' as 'N-E-V-A-R'."

Again, silence. Only Adrien seemed to get it, and it was only because Nino had learned to look for it that he noticed his friend closing his eyes in silent laughter.

"Never? Usually spelt N-E-V-E-R? Spelt as raven backwards? Really? I'm so glad to see all your English classes are sinking in. Let's move on."

Adrien swallowed and looked back down at his tablet. Nino looked up at the board, thought over the whole thing, and realised.

It was a pun. It was a big, massive, horrible pun…

And Adrien loved it.

"Oh, my god!" Nino announced after class, the second Chloe and Sabrina were out of the room. "I have finally found Adrien Agreste's weakness! Girls, step back, I am about to reveal something that will make the hottest guy in school completely unattractive."

Adrien blinked at him in polite amusement, while everyone else stared. Nino gave a dramatic twirl and pointed at his friend's face. "You like puns!"

"Pardon?" he asked, and Nino stepped up close to him, finger still raised.

"I wondered," he began, "why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

Everyone stared. A flicker of amusement shone through Adrien's eyes.

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity," he continued. "It's impossible to put down."

Adrien's lips twitched, while a few people caught on and groaned.

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now."

Adrien's head bowed forward, his shoulders rising. Alya grinned and jumped in. "I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind!"

It finally happened. Adrien hunched down with a breath that was very, nearly, almost a snort of laughter. Nino grinned. "I used to be a banker, but I lost interest!"

"I'd tell you a chemistry joke," Max piped up, "but I probably wouldn't get a reaction."

Adrien slapped a hand to his mouth, shoulders shaking.

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns," was Alya's next attempt. "Then I realised toucan play at that game."

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory," it was Kim's turn. "All I did was take a day off!"

Adrien dropped his head onto the desk. He still wasn't making a lot of noise, but he had clearly lost it.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Rose threw her hand in the air, waving it excitedly. "I have one! Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?"

"Why, Rose?" they all chorused, getting in on the game.

"Because she ran away from the ball!"

They all laughed at that – she was just so proud of it. Max tried again. "I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na…!"

Only a few of them got that. Judging from the way Adrien slapped the table, he was one of them.

"I – I – I –" Marinette floundered but eventually burst out, "I hate insect puns! They really bug me!"

And that, of all things, was what finally broke Adrien's silence. It was short, it was soft, but it was an audible laugh. He even lifted his head, showing off a broad, amazing smile that made him look nothing like the photos across Paris as he turned to look at her. "Surely you mean they Ladybug you? This is Paris, after all."

Nino could practically see her brain check out, but he didn't care. That had been a laugh, and that was a smile. A real smile, in public. Adrien was actually having fun.

"You have cat to be kitten me," Alya replied for her. "After all that work, that's the best you can claw back with?"

Adrien looked delighted, and like he had a comeback, but stopped himself almost immediately. The reason quickly became clear though, as he took out his still vibrating phone and looked at it.

You could actually see his shoulders slump, and he stuffed the phone back in his pocket before looking at Nino. "I've got Chinese. They're waiting for me."

Nino grimaced, but Adrien reached out and punched his shoulder with a smile, then looked up and around at the rest of the class. For a second, it almost looked like he would say something Marinette-ish, about how great they all were and how he was grateful to all of them. But instead, he just grinned and said, "I need to hit the road. Hope none of you asphalt me for leaving so soon."

They all groaned and complained, Alix even throwing her tablet pen at him, but he caught it with a laugh that was almost smug. Everyone smiled when he threw it back, obviously getting a kick out of seeing Adrien act so… human.

He was back to normal the next day, perfect and untouchable Adrien Agreste. But they had a secret weapon now, and Nino pulled it out at every opportunity.

It was always worthwhile to see Adrien lose it over a cat pun.

Help help, I've fallen into Miraculous Ladybug and it's not even released in my country yet! Also, my family loves puns and I don't. To each their own.