A/N: English is not my first language. Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"Just sign the damn papers, please! I can't take this anymore." Iruka attempted to calm himself as he cried out to his husband. The silver-haired man stood there emotionless. Typical Hatake Kakashi.

"We can work this out. What the hell happened to working things out in a marriage?" Kakashi exclaimed, throwing the papers the Chūnin handed him across the room. Those papers would ruin his life forever.

"How many times, Kakashi? How many times do you do this to me to sit around and wait for you to change?" Iruka raised his hand on his forehead, softened his tone, and looked into Kakashi's only visible eye. "I'm tired of being the one who holds the relationship together. I'm so tired." Kakashi choked. What could he say? It was the second time the Chūnin caught him with a another lover. "Sign the divorce papers and let me leave. Let me go so you can fuck every person you want and tell them everything you told me. Promise them everything you promised me. But tell me Kakashi, are they going to be the one you break down on? Are they going to have what we had? Are they?!"

Iruka walked towards him and stared into his dark-grey eye. They were just feet away from each other, but the Chūnin felt miles apart from the silver-haired man.

Iruka began to walk towards the papers he spent time on for weeks. The Jōnin held his wrist gently and pleaded him silently. Kakashi looked at the tanned man's back turned to him and right then and there he knew he fucked up. Bad.

Iruka's heart broke into pieces because he was dying for the Copy-nin to apologize. Deep down Iruka yearned for Kakashi to hold his wrist and ask him again to work things out. He wanted to hear the sweetest words that would bring him back into the Jōnin's arms. But Kakashi stopped. Instead, he stood there speechless. Iruka pushed the gloved hand off his wrist roughly and picked up the papers.

Right before he walked out, Iruka turned and looked at Kakashi. "I hate you, bastard."

Kakashi remained firm. "I'm sorry."

"I swear to God I won't shed another tear for you. No more. I deserve better and you know that." Iruka walked out, leaving Kakashi with a heartache.

As Iruka walked out from the Hatake compound, he put his hand on his stomach and sighed. Everything came crashing down at once. He remembered walking in and seeing Kakashi with Yamato. He remembered the four years he stayed devoted to the Copy-nin.

"Oh Kami, what am I going to do?" Tears rushed down from his dark-brown eyes. He looked down at his stomach again and caressed it softly. "You're the only thing that's keeping me holding on." He whispered through his tears and frowned. "And he doesn't need to know."

The next day, Iruka didn't feel like going to work, hell he didn't even feel like waking up. He just wanted to sulk into his sheets and not getting up. But he knew he needed to work and then visit Tsunade and Takemaru; it was long overdue.

He groaned as he stood up and went straight to the bathroom. He took his clothes off and stared himself in the mirror. He couldn't understand how this happened to him. It wasn't possible, he was a man...But then he remembered that one time Kakashi had sex with him while he was henged as a woman. It was their anniversary and he wanted to make a surprise to the Copy-nin by using Naruto's Sexy Technique. In that time he really didn't think about the consequences of it.

He sighed softly as he stepped into the shower. Kakashi didn't need to know about it. He wouldn't know, but Iruka knew it would be impossible to hide it.

"Umino Iruka." The nurse called in the waiting room, giving the teacher a weird look. Iruka didn't blame her, he would also find it strange for a man marking an appointment with a gynecologist. "Follow me." The nurse pressed a code into a machine and the hospital patient section opened.

...

Irukalooked around the doctor's office and blew out a breath of air. Baby pictures flooded the room. There was a baby girl dressed in a purple dress wrapped in her parents' arms. Iruka smiled sadly because he knew that love portrayed in the picture would never be his reality. Maybe it just wasn't meant for him.

The doctor, Takemaru, stepped in a few moments later. "Well Iruka-sensei, your baby is doing fine." He said as he cleaned up Iruka's lower stomach.

Tsunade was right beside him, looking stunned at the Chūnin.

"Thanks." Iruka replied as he straightened himself up.

"On the other hand, Iruka-sensei, you do seem unpleasant. Is there anything stressful occurring in your life at this moment?" The concerned doctor asked as he set aside his tools.

Iruka's eyes wondered around the room for a minute. Is there? When isn't there? "Somewhat." His tone was uncomfortable.

"And this doesn't have to do with the baby's other father?" Tsunade asked.

Iruka looked up at her, but didn't answer. Tsunade and Takemaru were the only ones who knew about his pregnancy. After he had collapsed in his classroom at the Academy, he was taken to the hospital. Takemaru was the one who had attended him. The medic-nin had to call the Hokage, not believing in Iruka's exams results.

Tsunade sighed and sat beside him. "Iruka I know what's going on between you and Kakashi but you need to think about this child you're carrying now. Stress does no good for the baby. Try to avoid little things that may cause you to be stressed. Take a nap during the day or go for a nice walk outside, for instance. I think you can teach for the next two months but I don't want you working in the Misson Desk anymore. I know how stressful that place is." She patted Iruka's shoulder softly.

"Thank you Tsunade-sama." He whispered.

She smiled. "These feelings and fears are common. You have no reason to be stressed, Iruka. Take everything slow and steady and I promise you'll win."

Iruka nodded and forcibly returned the smile. Slow and steady...yeah that's easy to say.

Iruka sat on the couch with a loud sigh. It had already been a month he didn't see Kakashi. Iruka had decided to stay at Izumo's apartment while being separated from Kakashi. Izumo was nothing more than a friend, the Copy-nin also knew that. Izumo was Iruka's best friend and the closest person he had to confide. Besides, the Chūnin liked his friend's small apartment that had enough room for the both of them. But he knew he couldn't stay there forever. He had to look for his own place.

Iruka's thoughts were interrupted by a frantic knock on the door that could be heard miles away. It could only be one person. Kakashi knew that the first place Iruka would go to was Izumo's place. He couldn't stay with Naruto. The blond's appartment was too small. But there was also Anko and Genma, but no way he would go there, because they would tell him, 'I told you so...' and he didn't need that.

"Who is this person banging like a beast from the jungle?" Izumo laughed as he sat across the couch from Iruka.

The tanned man's heart started pumping quick. He could sense Kakashi's chakra and he could tell that the man was angry. "Go see." He nodded his head towards the door.

"I think it must be Kotetsu..." Izumo said as he made his way over to the door. As he opened it he looked back at his friend. "Er...Iruka-kun, I think it's for you" he said loudly as he walked away from the door.

"Can you ask Iruka to stop acting like a little boy and come talk to me?" Kakashi said, raising his voice so that Iruka would hear him.

"I'm sorry Kakashi-san but I'm not sure that's such a great idea right now." Izumo called. He left the door open and walked towards the couch Iruka sat on, which was away from the door so he couldn't see Kakashi and the copy-nin couldn't see him either.

"Enough with the crap. He's my husband. I want to see him. Now."

Izumo could see that Kakashi hadn't been sleeping. His lonely eye was blood shot red and the visible part of face looked paler than usual. He looked drained, like had just come back from a mission, but that was nothing compared to what Iruka was going through. Kakashi meant what he said, too. Iruka was still his husband.

The teacher stood up and walked towards the door with a stare that could freeze Hell.

This wasn't the way it was suppose to be. "Izumo, excuse us please." he said timidly as he walked over to the door.

As Izumo walked past Iruka, he whispered in his ear, "I'll be upstairs."

Iruka nodded and watched his friend going up the stairs. He turned to the man in front of him and glared. "What do you want?" he wrapped his arms around himself and looked straight in Kakashi's eye.

"You're just going to walk out like that and not even say a word to me to know if you're ok?" Kakashi replied lowering his mask. He bent his head closer to Iruka's face. His tall frame hovered over the Chūnin's slender self.

Iruka looked him with disbelief. This man had the nerve to indirectly place some kind of blame on him. "Walk out? You walked out on me the first time you were with Yamato. Don't talk about walking out, Kakashi. You were the first to do it and the last. Don't you dare play that card with me! You wanna make me feel bad? You're a sick person. Screw you..." Iruka started to shake and tears began to form in his eyes.

He was way too sensitive around the Jōnin. Too damm sensitive. Iruka spent too much time worrying about how to please Kakashi and how to keep him wanting him. He bit his tongue and didn't mention his opinion if it meant it would be overriding Kakashi's. From the day Iruka met him before the Chūnin exams, Kakashi always spoke like he knew what he was saying and nobody else could tell him different. The teacher was worried that if he tried to go against his words he would push the Copy-nin away or make him leave. And now that was his reality - the Jōnin didn't even try to get in touch with him after he left. Kakashi had just accepted his leaving. Now what does he want?

"Would you just stop for two seconds and think about what your stubborn ass is saying. I love you dammit. I love you, Iruka. I fucked up and I know it." Iruka began to walk away, towards the couch again not wanting to turn around, because he knew if he did, he would just make a mistake. "No! Stop walking away." Kakashi said roughly.

"You're hurting me. Over and over and over you hurt me. Just leave me alone. Do me that one favor, Kakashi. Let me learn how to deal! I lost you once before and I can deal with it again." Iruka couldn't take it anymore. It was like trying to fix something but that one piece was always going to be missing.

"How much time do you need?" Kakashi asked quietly as his eyes scattered the floor.

"None. I already know my answer." Iruka replied. Only he knew the pain that was deep down.

Kakashi sighed loudly and tried to release the frustration. "Please, Iruka ...I can explain..."

"Why? Just tell me why you did it? Am I not enough for you? What did I do wrong?" Iruka broke down. He never wanted to break down in front of him or anyone else.

He didn't like to be seen as a weak ninja.

"I'm so sorry." The Jōnin pulled him close to his chest but Iruka moved back.

Kakashi bit his lower lip. He missed the tanned man's touch. His soft, delicate caramel skin. The way he laughed at Genma's stupid jokes. He missed his messy brown shoulder-length hair in the morning and his warm body rubbing against his as they laid in bed. But most of all, he missed his lover, his friend, his partner...He missed Iruka. The sweet kind-hearted teacher who was not afraid to say what was in his mind. But now, it was all gone because of a mistake.

His eyes hit the floor, back and forth, hesitantly. Kakashi took two steps closer to his love that was quickly slipping away. "I can't keep apologizing. I know I fucked up again. Iru… God, I didn't do it because I don't love you. You think I don't love you? Are you insane?"

Kakashi's voice was so tender that it made Iruka want to cry. Refusing to be broken again, he turned his face and took more steps back. As Kakashi walked towards him, he made sure Iruka face was looking directly at his.

Iruka took a deep breath. Don't cry, don't fucking cry, he told himself "Let me talk." Kakashi's lips immediately opened and slowly fell together again. "I am in so much pain right now that I can feel it in my soul. I stay devoted to you..bu- bu- but you..why is it always if you do something wrong then it's ok? Or you try to throw something back in my face to make me feel bad. It makes your stupid ass feel better about yourself and about what you did, doesn't it?" Iruka choked for a second, and blinked back tears but they fell anyway. "You do me wrong every time someone offers their bodies to you and you accept it. I stuck through all the shit for you to believe that we could be happy together. You ruined it. You ruined everything!" He yelled furiously as the tears were no longer held back. "I'm want the divorce and I'm not changing my mind."

It took a minute for the whole truth to sink in on Kakashi. Never had it gone this far. Sure, Iruka had walked out the door and meant for it to be over, but never the Chūnin had gotten the paper work together to divorce him.

Iruka turned around and hung his head in shame at himself for staying by the silver-haired man's side through it all. They say shame on you for fooling me once, shame on me for fooling me twice. It was his fault. At least that was the way he felt.

He felt a sharp pain on his stomach, he had to bit his lip, so he wouldn't yelp out of pain. His hands fell to his stomach and he hugged the little tummy that was hidden under his Chūnin uniform.

Kakashi touched Iruka's shoulders oblivious of the man's condition. "Tell me what you want me to do. I can't make you forgive me this time, can I? I don't expect you to forgive me today. I wish you would but I know you won't. Just help me. Help me to stop screwing up."

"You need to go. Now."

Iruka looked at the beautiful big mirror Izumo had hung in the middle of the room. He saw himself and his husband. All he saw was a mess. A big, huge, mess. His attention went back to the moment. But he still couldn't look Kakashi in the eye.

"Iruka, you're the one who can help me just like before...Just like when I come from a mission and you're there for me, to comfort me…to love me…to bring the human in me…Iruka, only you can help me... I…I love you. You can, I swear."

Iruka closed his eyes as new tears started. too late.