I first became aware of my arms and my legs. They were right under me and I would probably in for some mild discomfort when I moved them.

Next I became aware of my ears. I could feel them twitching with this new awareness, taking in the metallic sounds and beeps of the world around me. The were long and pointed and rested over the back of my head.

I had a tail too. It was an almost new sensation, not unlike relearning a skill.

The sounds of the world around me had ceased as I slipped out of a trance that I had not been aware of.

I blinked and watched the world slowly come into focus.

However unlike when I woke up for school and where everything was clear but my mind was too muddy to take in, this was more akin to watching a large pool of water settle.

I was lucid dreaming again. I wonder what will happen this time.

My tail twitched as I came to this conclusion and I finally turned to look at the man in front of me. A combination of salt and pepper hair, twinkling blue eyes, and a kind smile reminded me of something.

"Hello Subject 843. My name is Doctor Dean Paul."

Wow. I didn't hear words very often in my dreams. Most of the time when I do hear words it's in nightmares. Also, I must've been watching a cooking show or something because he looks like one of the chefs.

"Hi. My name is Lydia." I chirped in response. Best to establish a few unshakable truths when dreaming to keep from getting lost.

The man blinked at my response but quickly recovered. "Good. Excellent. How are you feeling today? Any pain?"

I took a few moments to get a feel for my limbs before sitting up. I didn't have any fingers or toes, which was weird but I was otherwise fine. I've had dreams of being quadrupedal before. Usually they involved some sort of adventure. I wonder what this one is going to be like. "Nah. I'm fine."

Then I hopped off the table onto the floor to work out the stiffness in my limbs. At least that's what I intended to do.

I landed on my face.

Huh. That… Usually doesn't happen.

Of course, I've never been a robot either.

Whatever.

I stretched a bit to loosen up and promptly discovered that it wasn't remotely as relaxing as I thought it would be. It actually kind of painful.

Meh. I'll deal with it.

I watched Dr. Paul look down at me from where he was standing as I worked out my legs. The look of concentration was a sharp contrast from the smile from earlier.

Walking took a bit more effort than I was used to, probably because I couldn't completely feel where my feet were. I'm probably in the deeper stages of sleep then. I hope I don't wet the bed. That'd be a pretty awkward explanation for changing the sheets in the middle of the night. Especially since the last time I wet the bed was when I was four years old.

And yet, my parents never stopped talking about it. Yeesh.

I jerked out of my thoughts when someone else came inside to talk to the doctor. I kept pacing for a few seconds before being overcome by curiosity.

"- is unprecedented and unplanned!" Hissed the new comer. She had messy red hair, paper white skin, and a mole on her right hand. "Nothing in our notes suggests that this should have happened and we have no set protocol for this!"

"I'm just as surprised as you are but we should give it the benefit of the doubt. Rapid development is hardly a sign of a hostile takeover." Replied the doctor.

"We are skirting citadel law as is! There is no reason to risk our company and the reputation of humanity on something like this. None!" Flailed the woman, "Do you want us to go the way of the quarians!?"

What the heck are those? Did I land in some sort of fantasy realm? The lab setting leans toward science fiction though.

I have many mixed feelings about this. All the stories that I've read in that genre involve racism, prejudice, and/or a major, possibly world shattering enemy. Like in Harry Potter, Eragon, Dragonlance, and Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'm not sure if I want to stick around here. I'm kind of spoiled in that sense.

"This is just one unit not an army. It's not an AI and no one can expect it to act like one. It currently isn't showing any signs of hostility." Soothed the doctor. "You were a historian Vinne. You should know better than anyone else how assumptions can be devastating."

The woman, Vinne ran her fingers through her frazzled hair as she sighed. "Yes. Yes. I suppose you're right."

Then she gave this little squeak as she noticed me staring at her. "Oh. Hello Subject 843. I'm Gladys Vinne."

"Hi I'm not 843. I'm Lydia. Remember that."

The woman frowns slightly but nods and goes back to talking to the doctor. Their voices have dropped in volume to the point where I can't hear much of anything.

With nothing else to do, I looked around the room again. It was much more colorful than it had been a few moments ago. There were streaks of color blinking all through the lab. Greens, reds, and oranges flickered and pulsed like obnoxious halloween lights. There was one right by the door that looked kind of like a puzzle.

Turning away from the scientists I slowly shuffled up to the circuit pattern and prodded it a few times. Maybe I could open the door?

The green lines swirled and changed as I dragged my hand through them. I spied three glowing spots and connected them.

And jumped back when the door opened with a woosh.

"Paul? Vinne? I'm going for a walk" I called.

The scientists were still engrossed in their conversation and didn't respond to my announcement. My voice carries, so I figured they heard but didn't object to me leaving.

The halls of the building were made entirely of metal. They were bare and unpainted and drab looking. Must be to save on a cleaning budget. No need to constantly scrub and repaint walls after all. Which is great.

But it also means there aren't places to peel paint which is kind of a shame. Paint peels off in interesting shapes and you can do some pretty neat pictures from it. I made a map of China once.

I wonder what kind of lab this is? I mean I'm a robot, so obviously robotic science is a big deal here, but labs rarely study just one thing. Things might overlap though, so maybe they study cybernetics and computer science? That'd be cool. I hope I can fly at some point.

The end of the hallway led into two junctions. The signs plastered on the wall were absolutely no help whatsoever. Dream signs never are. Something about the way the brain works in sleep. But I think one of the signs looks like it mentions something about… dogs?

Well, dogs are cool. I like dogs, so why not?

I turned down that hall and let myself into the first door

I'm not really sure what I expected when I entered the dog ward. But the first thing that caught my eye was the large number of preserved animals on the shelves. I recognized one of the brains as that of a sheep. Anatomy lab was fun, if kind of gross and nothing illustrated that more than wandering through the shelves. Seriously, its fascinating seeing all these different breeds of dogs.

I wonder if my psyche is trying to tell me something.

It probably was, given that preserved animals are pretty cool to look at for the first ten minutes and then the creep factor grows exponentially afterward. It grows even faster if the lights are off, which they are.

I carefully scooted backwards and left once I started getting the creeps.

The next door had a bunch of empty kennels.

So did the one after that.

And that.

I would've gone further had the alarms not decided to announce their presence. Siren's all through the hall wailed and scared the crap out of me. "ALERT! ALERT! Subject C455 has escaped Report to emergency stations! Commencing lock down!"

Crap.

Whats happening? I need to run, but which way?

I heard the sound of steel slamming into the walls coming from the way I came. I guess my decision's been made.

I turned and sprinted further and further down the hall, not even caring that I didn't know where I was headed.

Which quickly proved to be a bad idea when I ran head first into what looked like a demented hound. Eight spindly legs connected to something vaguely resembling a torso with a tail on one end, and something that looks like a bird skeleton on the other. A monster from a dystopian novel.

Specifically the Mechanical Hound from Fahrenheit 541.

I remember having to study it in english during high school, and I remember having to draw it. The book descriptions had been a little vague to me so I went with a menacing and unnatural design.

The same design that I recognized-

-Right down to the stinger sticking out of it's mouth.

And it was looking right at me.

FUCK! I drank apple juice before going to bed didn't I? I always get weird dreams whenever that happens.

I kept still, hoping that it would see me an an inanimate object or at the very least, inorganic. I was a robot right now and it only went after living things if I remembered correctly. The monotonous humming offering no comfort or indication of my success.

It didn't move and slowly, I began to hope that it might not attack. At least not immediately.

I needed to calm myself or I wouldn't be able to wish it away.

The problem is that the Hound gave me the creeps. It had way too many legs and the way they connected to the body resembled a centipede just a bit too much for comfort.

If I have enough time I can usually settle myself enough to squash it.

I think I would have managed it too, calming myself and willing it away I mean.

But just as I was reaching that point a wall came down right on top of me, cutting me neatly in two.

I didn't react save for a yelp of surprise which was enough to set of the Hound.

I couldn't do anything after that, even as the Hound grabbed me with it's terrible claspers and forced the needle into my neck.

BAM!

"OWW!" Wailed Virtas as he clutched his newly bruised knee. "What was that for?"

"Wha-?" I jerked awake and looked around as my leg returned to the ground. I must've started daydreaming again and- "YOU! Why the |HONK| were you poking my neck! That's where my jugular is!"

"Well you were just watching paint dry!" He complained. "Plus you're a robot. You don't even have a jugular."

I sniffed at him. "Don't be ridiculous. You need a better biology teacher." I picked up the can of paint to see if I had enough to finish painting the wall and by the way it's sloshing I was pretty sure I could. I turned to the turian with a raised eyebrow display. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"My class is having a trip to the citadel tower. I'll join them once they get here." He shrugged. "Why are you repainting the walls? The guy outside said they just repainted them a week ago."

"They painted over the cracks and I got in trouble trying to level it out." I grunted as I peeled off another section of the wall and painted over it. Seriously! Who the hell does that! It was the worst near the ground, all gnarly and lumpy. Like tree bark, or peeling skin.

Oh ew... I probably shouldn't have thought of that because peeling skin is not a particularly appealing image.

I sat on my haunches struggling in vain to recreate that irritating yet alluring call of peeling paint. "It kind of just bothered me. But hey I got something you can do." I pointed to the opposite wall of the corridor where I had done a pretty decent job of scratching out the world map on one side. "Think you can scratch a map of Palaven on one of the blank spots?"

His fingers twitched eagerly but stopped. "No thanks. I don't want to get saddled with community service." He declined.

Not one to be easily deterred by anything other than calculus, I tossed him the scraper. "I'm going to paint that wall too. So no need to worry."

Then I turned back to my bucket of paint and resumed covering the wall without waiting for a response. He can make his own choice.

Mindless work is great. While I'm doing something repetitive I can always play around with my thoughts. Which brings me to another thing…

What kind of daydream was that? My daydreams usually aren't that vivid. Plus I don't think you're supposed to be able to daydream while you're in a….

Right. Not dreaming.

Let's see if I can convince myself of that. I've almost done it a few times. But I don't want to.

I felt my breath hitch involuntarily and I forced it steady.

Yeah. That can't be good. I'm probably a meltdown waiting to happen. Wasn't therapy supposed to help with this? Then again, I'm not the sort of person to dump all my problems onto someone else, not even a telepathic blue lady. That would be rude and intrusive on both our parts.

Plus how am I supposed to deal with an existential crisis like this? How exactly do you deal with it? What is there to do other than keep going?

Nothing.

Back into my mental vault you go.

"You're weird Lucia." The boy's voice cut through my thoughts. "You're a talking robot-" My tail twitched in irritation. "You constantly talk out loud, you do dumb things, and you keep reminding yourself to do stuff, and you're alive."

I blinked out of my contemplations. That last one threw me for a bit of a loop. Where was he going with this? "Yes. Yes I am. What of it?"

"How come you're so alive? He asked as he scraped away at the wall. "How come you're…. you?"

"By not being dead?" I replied. I mean, what else am I supposed to say to that?

I got a glob of paint shavings flung at me in response. It's really weird how the top coat is crumbly but the layer under that acts more like vinyl. They probably used different brands of paint or something.

"I'm being serious here!" Cried the boy as he threw another paint chip at me. "Nothing makes sense anymore!"

"Hm?" I turned to him.

"First those jerks kidnap us because security didn't work like it was supposed to! Next they kill their own subordinates to scare a bunch of kids, which is not supposed to happen. Then we get raided by a council spectre of all things!" Virtas trilled out a number of what I assume are turian curses as he attempted to strangle his troubles in his head. "And then there's you!"

"Me?"

"YES YOU!" He flailed. Looking for some way to have his world make sense again. "YOU'RE AN AI! Why aren't you dead?! Why hasn't Uncle arrested you yet!" The boy threw the scraper at me and missed by a mile. " WHY?!"

I guess turians have PTSD too, though I suppose they'd frown upon this sort of thing. Then again maybe there are regulations for this. I'll have to start doing some research into this. Social faux pas are not something I need. Plus Virtas probably didn't need to hear my running commentary on his meltdown over the destruction of his nice and orderly worldview.

Wow. That was pretty mean. The dream shook me more than I thought if this is what's running through my mind.

Or maybe I'm just detached. Detached is good right? No flipouts.

"First off I'm not an AI-" Maybe I should say something to calm him down.

"You're too weird to be a VI!" He interrupted, as though pointing it out would put his world back in order.

"- and I am a firm subscriber of life is crazy and |Splatter| happens." I continued completely ignoring the interruption. "I'm also a subscriber of organized chaos."

"ARE YOU SAYING THAT THIS IS NORMAL!" He all but screeched.

Aaaaaand now Virtas is flipping out again.

I'm actually kind of surprised that they haven't done something about this. I'm probably going to get in trouble for upsetting him but at least I'll get out of the evening group therapy session. There's too many people and they stare at me too much to actually listen. Something about watching me for suspicious movements. Rude.

Seriously weird alien customs here.

"In the grand scheme of things? Pretty much yeah. Our lives are just specks in time." I replied after a few moments of thought. "Plus even if it wasn't. The only productive thing you can do is just pick yourself up and keep moving." Like from that movie.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

Just keep drowning drowning drowning.

Ok maybe not exactly like that but still.

"But that still doesn't explain why you aren't dead." Insisted Virtas.

"Alright, there are two ways I can answer that and I doubt you'll like either one of them." I took a deep breath. "Do you want the truth or the lie?"

"The truth of course."

"It's classified information."

"WHAT?!" Virtas didn't like that answer one bit. I'm sure if he were human his jaw would've hit the ground. But instead his mandibles flailed as he squawked. "YOU SAID YOU'D TELL ME THE TRUTH."

"I am telling the truth!" I protested. "My [Honk]ing life really is classified!" Virtas was pretty typical for a turian in that he liked his world in order. Things that don't fit into a predetermined slot will drive them up the wall. If he had asked for the lie I would've just repeated my cover story. I think that would've gone down better than just telling him it was classified.

That's how it usually goes with Palin at least.

"Of course it's classified." He snarled as he kicks the nearest paint can at me. The grey liquid spills splashing my face, the tiles, the walls, everywhere . "I'll never know anything and it's all Your fault."

I looked away. I had to. I wasn't sure what I would've done if I didn't. Nothing pleasant I'm sure.

Detach. Be distant. I don't need this.

I could feel him stiffen and freeze behind me at my reaction. I'm sure on some level he was expecting me to sit and take it like an Avina. Or maybe I'm reading him wrong. "Spirits. I didn't me-"

Oh look, the paint has dried enough for the next coat.

"Come on Kid. The walls need to be finished." I tossed him the scraping tool again and turning back to my spot. "You can finish peeling that wall. It'll make you feel better." Because I don't want to stay on this topic. There is nothing I can say that won't lead to resentment between us. Maybe even hate.

Because let's be honest I'm not normal.

Once upon a time I was an ordinary student with some odd habits and a hodgepodge of hobbies. Procrastination was an issue for me so I was constantly stressed out over getting things done on time. My friends always arguing over characters in tv shows, lamenting the books we had to read, or complaining about the lack of money and simultaneously dreading and looking forward to the day when we would become adults. I could speak my fears and have them be understood. I could choose my working hours. I could go outside and enjoy the scenery without being stared at. I could look forward to the next day, or dread it.

Once upon a time I could be me.

I guess you don't know what you have till it's gone.

So what does HE have to complain about? How dare he complain about being abnormal when he could actually walk on two legs without a prop? How could he whine about not being told anything when he has people to protect him, people he could go to?!

More and more rage floods through my body as each thought passes. Not good. Definitely not good.

He's just a kid.

I could feel myself growing hot and I forced my temper down lest I start spewing boiling hot steam. No sense in literally burning the kid of someone important. It's not worth the aggravation. Or the reputation that would surely follow. God I haven't cared this much about other people's opinions since I lived in China.

But it's so easy to get trapped by etiquette when you are low in the social hierarchy. If I were to strike him, i'd be told that he was just a kid. So I have to sit and take his bullshit.

"That's why you peeled the walls isn't it?" He lowed. The turian stared back at me, not quite willing to stop his comments but lacking the energy to keep arguing with the world around him. Entirely unaware that I had been tempted to scald him just moments ago. "Not because they were uneven. But because the act is calming."

Then again, I'm not the best at keeping a straight face and Virtas was a pretty sharp kid.

I shrugged halfheartedly, not really giving an indication of what I was agreeing to. "I'm going to finish painting this coat and then I'll start on that wall."

Virtas made a noise of reluctant agreement and resumed his scraping; frantic and angry at first but slowly evening out into something rhythmic. A drum march perhaps?

Well, whatever.

This subject can go and burn in the furnace for all I care. Painting the wall is much easier to think about.

At least until the doors opened and the executor's voice boomed inward.

"I sent you down here two hours ago to paint over the spot you peeled." Griped the older turian. Then his features changed from impatience to irritation as he took in the sheer amount of paint chips and spills on the floor. "Lucia. I said to cover up the section you chipped off. Not redo the entire wall."

"Painting over the peeled section wouldn't have hidden the cracked and peeled portions." I monotoned. "Better to redo the entire thing. Plus peeling the paint was oddly satisfying."

"A wall is not the same as the foundation of a house." Chided Palin as he took in the details as he stepped down the hall. It's only after the third splash that he apparently decided to address the tension in the room which was thick enough to stop a bullet. "Now tell me, children… Why were you two shouting earlier? And why is there paint everywhere?"

I elected to ignore him for finishing my job. Palin will see the events after scooping through my head anyway. Plus you're always suppose forgive kids for this sort of thing. They're just kids after all and don't know any better.

Doesn't stop the comments from hurting though. Or the rage it incites. Lose-lose situation all around.

"U-Um.. Well I kind of snapped and screamed at Lucia." Confessed Virtas. Then he sagged on his feet. "And then I kicked the paint bucket at her."

"You apologized I hope." I heard ruffling fabric indication the crossing of arms. The executor was probably pissed. The paint job was taking a long time and I was making a bigger mess than usual. In that case I'd better finish up quick before the spilled paint dries or else he'd saddle me with cleaning the bathrooms and that always sucks, no matter the time or the place.

"She turned away..."

"And that's supposed to mean something?"

It's funny how such an innocuous act was so different between species. For humans, crossing arms is a sign of impatience, anxiety, irritation or some combination of the three. For turians it's an expression of extreme disappointment or disapproval, like upset granny kind of disapproval. Unless Ajax was trolling me when he showed me those movies. He didn't seem the type though but you can never tell.

"M-miss Lucia?"

I hummed in acknowledgement. I just have another few feet to go before I can start on the next one.

"Miss Lucia? I'm really sorry for what I said. That was really unwarranted. Even if it was true."

Passive aggressive much? Well, two can play at that game. "Noted." I hummed only turning my head enough to see him.

"Li you'll have to forgive him. He is young and recovering from the kidnapping incident." Spoke the executor after taking in my response. I'm kind of surprised that he was elaborating since he usually doesn't do this sort of thing. That was usually Sepin or Arsani the therapist's job. Sometimes Garrus would do that too, but usually he would give me weird looks for not knowing something like that. Ass.

"I heard him." I answered without any inflection. One last stroke and- "I'm done with this section." I carefully balanced the brushes on my back and dragged a can of paint across to the other wall. Just as I was going to start on that side the executor interrupted my thoughts again.

"Li I came to tell you something. Primarch Peixes is requesting your presence."

… What?

I stared at my boss, with my electronic pupils shrunken to pinpricks. "If the turian government has collapsed I swear I did not do it. I've been painting the wall."

That was apparently not the right thing to say as Virtas' mandibled flared in indignation. "Excuse me-!" He started when his uncle put a hand on his shoulder.

Palin, being completely accustomed to my responses was entirely unfazed. If anything he relaxed from his formerly ramrod stance. "I can assure you that Turian Hierarchy will not fall to your terrible taste in music or your obnoxious hoarding habits."

Virtas froze like a deer in the headlights.

My ear twitched in annoyance. "Screw you! Nyan cat is awesome!"

"Language." Chided the elder. "Or you'll clean the bathrooms."

I flipped him off. Or tried to without access to my middle fingers. Stupid hooves.

Then I got an idea. I'll take cleaning the bathroom over sitting and being stared at anyday. Plus I can think of a few pranks I can pull off if I'm in charge of cleaning the toilets. I'll just have to figure out a way to delay them going off. "But if I'm cleaning the bathrooms then I have to skip-"

"You are not skipping therapy."

God dammit.

"Language. Do it again and I'll dock your pay."

Oops.

"A pet?" I repeated back to the officious looking turian in front of me. He looked about as comfortable with the idea as I was. That is to say, not at all. I'm sure my face was doing an excellent owl impression with my ears pressed to the side of my head and my eyes shrunk to pinpricks. "You want me to be your daughter's pet."

"I am entirely against this idea." Huffed the primarch. "History has shown that AI are not to be trusted and I'm surprised that they haven't decommissioned you yet."

My right ear twitched in irritation but I took a deep breath to keep my voice even. Insulting the turian government is not the right thing to do. Even if he deserves it which he does. "If you are so against it why did you ask my boss for me?"

Are all turians this hamfisted when they ask for something? Because saying that I should've been killed is not very effective way to convince me. Neither is going over my head and asking my boss. The stuffy and decorous prose during the request was a nice touch though.

"That is none of your concern Synthetic." He sniffed haughtily as he waved off my questions and turned to my superior.. "Now Executor. Surely you jest. This can't possibly be the Lucia Mech my daughter keeps talking about. This a poorly programmed mess I'd expect from a student intern."

My ear twitched again in aggravation. Fuck it. Fuck it all. "Oh get Bent Lord Primarch!" I jabbed a hoof at the government official. "It's my life you are talking about. Of course it's my concern. Stop acting like I'm not here."

"Li. Watch your mouth." Warned Palin without looking at me. "Primarch I understand your reservations, but credit must be given where it is due. Biosynthetic Li really did find your daughter." He gestured to Sepin, Garrus, and Ajax standing in the corner of the room. "The lab technicians say that her behavior stems from her biological origins as a rather contrary and independant earth creature. Therefore, problematic behavior may be minimized if she herself can make the choice."

"Naturally the humans would experiment on something feral rather than tame " The turian primarch clicked derisively as he glanced down at me. "Nonetheless I fail to see why I have to address a mech."

"Because I'm the one that kept your daughter from being sold into slavery?" I questioned in my most saccharine voice. I felt Palin's heel jab into my side but I couldn't quite bring myself to stop. The words "Because the guards assigned to watch your offspring failed to do their job and she got hurt because of it? Or how about because you know you can't be with your child and you want a substitute companion."

I had to stop for a few moments after that and not because of the silence that suddenly fell upon the room.

What the fuck just came out of my mouth?! Seriously. What prompted that? Also, where the fuck did the second voice come from? I'm pretty sure I don't have subharmonics like turians do. Plus it feels like an echo of something I've heard but I can't for the life of me remember where. I wonder if this is one of those things that are hidden deep in the parts I can't get rid of.

Computer programming is confusing. I don't know how people can understand any of it and I admire them greatly.

The office was completely silent when I blinked out of my thoughts. Palin was staring at me, not even bothering to hide the disturbed concern in his eyes. The primarch on the other hand looked like he was about to have an apoplectic fit worthy of Tsar Bomba. I must've hit a nerve. Eh, well you deserve it. "Terribly sorry. That last bit was uncalled for but my point still stands. It's my life and thus it's my right to choose what to I do with it." I added to sound just as stiff and officious as the people around me. "I offer my deepest apologies."

I probably bungled the whole damn thing but whatever. Suicide by government official would be a pretty interesting story when I wake up.

"LI." Boomed the executor. His arms crossed in front of him. "I HAVE HAD-"

I didn't have to look at him to know what he was going to say, so I shrugged off the reprimand and walked out. "I'll get on cleaning the bathrooms sir. You can hold my allowance."

Cleaning bathrooms isn't so bad when you can turn off your sense of smell.

I could do without seeing people make out in there though. Seriously, that can't be sanitary. The faces they made when I pulled out the mop were pretty funny though.

I'm just glad that it's the C-Sec bathrooms rather than gas station ones because cheap food and drugs does not make for a fun cleaning time. Of course, nothing runs on gas anymore so I won't have to worry about that at least. Now I have to worry about being hit by a car when I'm not on ground floor, so it's an even trade off.

Right?

Probably not.

Still, I'm doing mindless grunt work which means my mind is free to wander and peruse all the useless thoughts I've accumulated for the day. Plus the cleaning supplies smell enough like the contents of a septic tank for people to avoid me which means I won't get interrupted unless it's something important.

Like Garrus barging in. "Li! What was that all about?"

"What was what about?" I asked. I do a lot of weird things and it really shouldn't be a surprise by now.

"You know what I'm talking about!" Hissed Garrus. "I can't believe you'd be so reckless as to insult the primarch to his face!"

"Yeah. Well, I wasn't about to stand there and be insulted by someone. Especially over my rights as a living creature"

"Oh don't get started on that again. You always use that excuse." He groaned. "Are you ever going to stop whining over nothing?"

"Really?" I gaped. "Whining over nothing?" I could feel myself heating with anger. "I'll have you know. My complaints were perfectly justified. Your constant griping about protocol on the other hand is just bratty entitled [MOO]!"

"I- Unlike you- am not whining about stupid things like my allowance. My duty as a C-Sec officer is to stop the perp and I can't do that with you getting underfoot every time!"

"'Your duty as a C-sec offi-' You've got to be [HONK]ing joking. You just use your job as an excuse to kill people and show off!"

"Excuse me?!" That was not the right thing to say. If garrus was intimidating before he was downright terrifying now.

Still, I couldn't stop the words from tumbling out. "YOU SHOT OUT MY EYE!"

"You're a robot You can handle that!"

"You don't get to make that choice for me!" I cried "You also don't get to shoot down skycars!"

"It stopped the Krogan didn't it!"

" I WAS INSIDE THE PUG-FUGLY THING YOU IGNORAMUS! Plus the Plagg had nothing to do with redsand! It was the Salarian that stole his [Honk]ing skycar!"

"Look, Mech. I know you aren't exactly familiar with the laws and fugitives here but you'd have to be defective to not notice that the Krogan was the bigger danger to the public."

"I'm not the one who has issues staying on task. I'm ALSO not the one public is afraid of." I shot back.

His mandibles flared in rage. "Who. Do. You. Think. You. Are."

"A messed up human being. " Was my response. "And Definitely not a self righteous asshole lookin' for bragging rights."

I was about to continue when someone walked into the bathroom.

"For a second I thought I heard children yapping in the stalls." Hummed Ajax. "It appears I was mistaken. Or perhaps not." He stared at us both with accusing eyes.

Were we really that loud?

Whatever.

I turned to Ajax. "I'm done cleaning here. Don't mess things up."

I could hear Garrus calling after me as I left. "Mech. We aren't done-"

"Yeah we are." I had better things to do.

My shift lasted forever. I can't tell how much time I've spent filling out forms ever since the recent change in gun regulations.

What a joke. The galaxy has advanced to the point where even people on minimum wage can afford a smartphone way beyond anything even the government could afford in my time and paper is still used.

I suppose that's one way to guard against hackers. Can't hack a pile of plant fibers and animal skins after all. Filling out all the forms takes so much time though. At least I have an excuse not to talk to people.

"Li. You are needed down in interrogation." Called Sepin when he stuck his head into the office.

Goddammit.

"Of course I do." I sighed. Then I coughed awkwardly as a response to the stares. "Right. I'm out."

It's rare that I'm asked to interrogate someone. Usually it's because they need information from someone who's really young or they need a lie detector because the person they are talking to is pissed off and about to go on a rampage.

Yeah, that's right. I'm either the punching bag for angry assholes or i have to deal with kids who wont stop crying. This is my life now.

Woo.

At least they had the decency to brief me on the situation verbally rather than just sending the files to my head.

I knocked on the door twice to announce my arrival before entering the room. Sure enough, sitting by the table with garrus was a young human girl. A very young girl. She couldn't have been more than three years old. She looked like she had been crying.

"Hello." I called as I hopped onto the table. "Are you hurt?"

The child remained sullen as she stared at the table.

"Look. Kid. We need that info. Can you please tell us what you saw?" SIghed Garrus as he loomed across the table.

"No!" She shook her head furiously and sniffled again. "He'll hurt my mama."

Okay. Male suspect. That only leaves half the possible population. Joy.

I cocked my head. "Who?"

"NO. Not talking to monsters!"

"We're not monsters! We'r C-Sec!" Huffed the Turian " We can save your mother, but we need to know what happened to find her. Where is she?" Demanded Garrus.

She shook her head vehemently in disagreement. I can't say I blame her. But given that Garrus looked like he was about to explode I ought to step in.

"What's your name?"

"Miffie" She sniffed. "Miffie."

"Miffie?" I confirmed.

"Yeah."

"Look Li. We don't-" Okay, someone clearly didn't know how to deal with little kids.

"Garrus. Shut up!" I snarled. Then turned to back to Mifa. "Do you want a hug? I promise I'm warm."

I held out my arms and Miffie accepted wordlessly.

She held me for close to half an hour as she bawled.

I didn't know the context aside from something regarding blackmail and a serial killer so I couldn't offer anything other than platitudes. Even so, it seemed to help her calm down.

Eventually she let go and settled back into her seat.

"Feeling better?" I asked

"Yeah." Nodded the child.

"Where's your mom?" I asked.

"Mama's sick." She answered.

"But where is she?" Repeated Garrus. "That's what we need to know?"

"Mama's sick!" Insisted Miffie.

Garrus's mandibles flared in irritation again. "Alright. Look. We don't have time for this. I'm getting-"

"Garrus. The fact that you are so keen to have someone mind meld with a toddler is very concerning." I hissed. "It'll turn her into a vegetable if it goes wrong."

"She's our only lead on a serial killer." He hissed back in response. "If we don't get that info hundreds of others could die! So stop pandering to the brat!"

Oooookay. That definitely changes things.

"She's an infant!" But not that much.

"Kill one save a dozen!" Snapped Garrus

"Spare me the bullshit." I hissed back. I glanced back at the toddler who looked terrified of the big spiky monster. "And get out! Go check the cat synths or something. You're scaring her."

"Okay Miffie. What's your mama like?"

"Not telling!" Miffie gave me the stink eye.

"I'm not asking where your mama is. I just want to know what she's like."

"Mama's hair's yellow and she's super tall and her eyes are grey and she's wearing a paper dress. She has booboos and she'd sick."

"Is your mama sick in bed?"

Miffie nodded. "Yeah. Mama had a booboo. Right here." She pointed at her head, then at her heart. "And here."

Head and heart troubles sick enough to be bedridden? The hospital maybe? "What kind of booboo?"

"The ouchie kind."

Not helpful.

"Earlier today. Did anything bad happen?"

Miffie sniffled a few times before bursting into tears again. "The Giant monster came and he was mean to papa. Then he ate papa! Papa got a booboo and he won't wake up!"

I reached out and gave her another hug.

Ah…. Poor kid. Wait. Giant Monster.

Is this the same case I had look into right before the whole kidnapping hullabaloo?

"Oh how awful!" I exclaimed. "What did the monster look like?"

"Big and ugly." Insisted the Girl.

"Was he spiky?"

Miffie shook her head. "No. He was a gorilla monster."

A gorilla monster. An alien that looks like a gorilla. An elcor? Or a Krogan.

"Did the monster find you?"

"Papa told me to hide. So I hid in the closet. But the monster found me anyway." Sobbed the little girl. "He was gonna eat me too. And then Bunny cat came."

"Bunny cat?" The hell?

"Yeah! Like you. Only Grey." Miffie wiped her nose and cleaned her hand on me. "The bunny cat hissed at the monster."

I'm going to have to check the network then. Some of them can live stream video footage. "Did the er… Bunny cat do anything else?"

"The monster got all glowy and stuff. And then Bunny cat got squished." She sniffed.

Biotics? That helps. Considerably actually. Biotic Krogan were pretty rare. Elcor too.

We both fell silent for a while.

Somehow, I doubt that I'll be able to get much more out of her. Which is great. That means I can dump the rest of the work on the rest of the guys while I grab some ice cream for the girl.

"Alright. I think that's enough frowny faces for today." I rubbed the back of my head as I tried to think of something to say. "Thanks for telling me what happened. Do you like ice cream?"

"Yeah."

"How about I get you some as thanks. Which flavor do you want?"

"Chocolate, and vanilla, and mango." The brat screwed up her face in concentration. "Can I get three scoops? With sprinkles? And Caramel?"

"Sure. Can you wait here?"

"Yeah."

I patted Miffie's head a few times before hopping down and leaving the room.

As I stepped outside, Garrus came walking back with an asari in tow, the counselor actually.

"I got the story from the kid. I'm getting her ice cream now."

"Oh!" Gasped the woman. "I- Excellent. Be sure to forward the clip to the investigators alright?"

I nodded and went on my merry way.

I could feel Garrus staring as I walked, but that's fine.

AN: Hello all. I'm not dead I promise.

I'm really sorry about the delay. Between the final semester of college, civil service exams, and job hunting I overreached and had a meltdown. Things have settled somewhat although I'm still not employed so I should be able to work on my writing some more. I do actually have an outline for this story now. It's just a matter of really being able to translate bullet points to prose properly. Something that I seem to have a bit of trouble doing.

I took a creative writing class so while my brain is filled with ideas none of them are really relevant to anything I'm actively doing. In fact some of them actually involve fandoms for things I've never actually watched.

Yes. It's as strange as it sounds.

With regards to the first section. Take a guess what it actually is and what it means? If you get it right, I'll give you a 100 word interaction between Lucia and an ME character of your choosing.

The interaction between Lucia and Garrus gave me a fair amount of trouble. I have segments of them later in the story getting on like a house on fire and my fingers keep typing those. But as of right now Garrus is not easy for me to work with. He seemed rather solitary in canon during the first game too.

Lucia is clearly becoming just as jaded with her life as Garrus is but isn't quite to the point where she stops bothering with the rules. Partially because she is becoming depressed and partially because she wants to get out.

Anyways, things will get worse before they get better.

Reviews and Comments are very much appreciated and give me ideas.